Even if you don’t get it
you can still support and
respect our identity.
It’s valid and it exists.
Testimonials: Non-binary Identities
I’m Camille, 22, non-binary
and I’m here to talk about non-binarity.
Non-binary is an umbrella term
for all gender identities
that aren’t strictly male or female.
It could mean being no gender (agender)
or it could be all fluid identities,
as if we were imagining gender
as a spectrum with two poles
masculine and feminine
We can move on this spectrum like a cursor
So, this includes people who are
gender-fluid, demi-gender, pangender, etc.
I never really identified with femininity.
At 18,
I started questioning my gender identity.
I was dating a trans man.
And he helped me put words to my identity:
non-binary.
I think because he had access to
more information than I did,
he was able to help me to find
the word of my identity.
Gender identity is about who we are
the gender you feel, live and experience.
Gender expression, on the other hand,
is how we present that identity to others.
For example, someone can identify as a man
so he is a man.
He can have a feminine gender expression,
with many makers considered
feminine in society.
Like Bilal Hassani, who is a man
but has a feminine gender expression.
When I came out as non-binary,
I told my parents
I wanted to change my name.
I was 20, so that was two years ago.
My mom was chill,
she was already very aware of gender topic
She is very open-minded,
and made me feel safe.
My dad was a bit trickier.
I waited longer to tell him and
ended up doing it over text.
Because it felt easier that way.
And he responded well.
He said he didn’t fully understand
but reassured me he’d support me
no matter what and
that it didn’t change anything for him.
He still loved me the same
My grandma had a harder time with it.
Because it was just so far from her world.
She grew up in the countryside,
later moved to Paris,
and was married to my grandpa for 50 years.
She was part of a cis-heteronormative way
where she never questioned her own identity
or anyone else’s.
So, when I told her about it,
she was a bit taken back.
But she’s always tried her best
to respect me
She makes a huge effort,
and she hardly ever messes up my name.
I applied to change my name in 2019.
I submitted my request
to the city town hall where I lived.
I picked up a file that I filled out
with statements from friends and family
confirming they used
the name Cami to address me.
I asked my school to write me a letter of
a letter of support and so on.
Then I submitted my application
and waited a few months.
In fact, it varies depending on the city,
and I was accepted for the name change.
Misgendering someone means
using the wrong pronouns for them.
So misgendering a non-binary person
who explicitly said to use neutral pronouns
such as “they/them”, but someone refers
to them as “he” or “she” instead
Personally, I use pronouns “she/her”
when speaking and
neutral pronouns when writing.