WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.550
Even if you don’t get it

00:00:01.550 --> 00:00:03.214
you can still support and

00:00:03.214 --> 00:00:04.654
respect our identity.

NOTE Paragraph

00:00:04.654 --> 00:00:06.464
It’s valid and it exists.

00:00:06.534 --> 00:00:08.991
Testimonials: Non-binary Identities

00:00:09.230 --> 00:00:11.431
I’m Camille, 22, non-binary

00:00:11.431 --> 00:00:13.437
and I’m here to talk about non-binarity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Non-binary is an umbrella term

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for all gender identities

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that aren’t strictly male or female.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It could mean being no gender (agender)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or it could be all fluid identities,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as if we were imagining gender

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as a spectrum with two poles

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
masculine and feminine

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We can move on this spectrum like a cursor

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, this includes people who are

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
gender-fluid, demi-gender, pangender, etc.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I never really identified with femininity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
At 18,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I started questioning my gender identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was dating a trans man.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And he helped me put words to my identity:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
non-binary.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think because he had access to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
more information than I did,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he was able to help me to find

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the word of my identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Gender identity is about who we are

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the gender you feel, live and experience.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Gender expression, on the other hand,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is how we present that identity to others.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For example, someone can identify as a man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so he is a man.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He can have a feminine gender expression,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with many makers considered

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
feminine in society.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like Bilal Hassani, who is a man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but has a feminine gender expression.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When I came out as non-binary,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I told my parents

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I wanted to change my name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was 20, so that was two years ago.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My mom was chill,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she was already very aware of gender topic

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She is very open-minded,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and made me feel safe.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My dad was a bit trickier.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I waited longer to tell him and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
ended up doing it over text.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because it felt easier that way.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And he responded well.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He said he didn’t fully understand

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but reassured me he’d support me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
no matter what and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that it didn’t change anything for him.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He still loved me the same

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My grandma had a harder time with it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because it was just so far from her world.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She grew up in the countryside,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
later moved to Paris,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and was married to my grandpa for 50 years.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She was part of a cis-heteronormative way

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
where she never questioned her own identity

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or anyone else’s.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, when I told her about it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she was a bit taken back.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But she’s always tried her best

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to respect me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She makes a huge effort,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and she hardly ever messes up my name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I applied to change my name in 2019.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I submitted my request

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to the city town hall where I lived.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I picked up a file that I filled out

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with statements from friends and family

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
confirming they used

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the name Cami to address me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I asked my school to write me a letter of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a letter of support and so on.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then I submitted my application

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and waited a few months.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In fact, it varies depending on the city,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I was accepted for the name change.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Misgendering someone means

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
using the wrong pronouns for them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So misgendering a non-binary person

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who explicitly said to use neutral pronouns

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
such as “they/them”, but someone refers

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to them as “he” or “she” instead

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Personally, I use pronouns “she/her”

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when speaking and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
neutral pronouns when writing.