WEBVTT

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Even if you don’t get it

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you can still support and

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respect our identity.

NOTE Paragraph

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It’s valid and it exists.

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Testimonials: Non-binary Identities

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I’m Camille, 22, non-binary

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and I’m here to talk about non-binarity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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for all gender identities

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that aren’t strictly male or female.

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It could mean being no gender (agender)

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or it could be all fluid identities,

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as if we were imagining gender as a

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spectrum with two poles mas. and fem.

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masculine and feminine

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We can move on this spectrum like a cursor

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So, this includes people who are

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gender-fluid, demi-gender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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At 18,

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I started questioning my gender identity.

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I was dating a trans man.

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And he helped me put words to my identity:

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non-binary.

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I think because he had access to

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more information than I did,

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he was able to help me to find

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the word of my identity.

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Gender identity is about who we are

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the gender you feel, live and experience.

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Gender expression, on the other hand,

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is how we present that identity to others.

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For example, someone can identify as a man

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so he is a man.

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He can have a feminine gender expression,

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with many makers considered

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feminine in society.

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Like Bilal Hassani, who is a man

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but has a feminine gender expression.

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When I came out as non-binary,

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I told my parents

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I wanted to change my name.

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I was 20, so that was two years ago.

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My mom was chill,

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she was already very aware of gender topic

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She is very open-minded,

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and made me feel safe.

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My dad was a bit trickier.

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I waited longer to tell him and

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ended up doing it over text.

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Because it felt easier that way.

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And he responded well.

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He said he didn’t fully understand

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but reassured me he’d support me

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no matter what and

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that it didn’t change anything for him.

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He still loved me the same

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My grandma had a harder time with it.

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Because it was just so far from her world.

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She grew up in the countryside,

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later moved to Paris,

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and was married to my grandpa for 50 years.

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She was part of a cis-heteronormative way

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where she never questioned her own identity

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or anyone else’s.

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So, when I told her about it,

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she was a bit taken back.

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But she’s always tried her best

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to respect me

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She makes a huge effort,

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and she hardly ever messes up my name.

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I applied to change my name in 2019.

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I submitted my request

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to the city town hall where I lived.

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I picked up a file that I filled out

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with statements from friends and family

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confirming they used

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the name Cami to address me.

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I asked my school to write me a letter of

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a letter of support and so on.

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Then I submitted my application

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and waited a few months.

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In fact, it varies depending on the city,

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and I was accepted for the name change.

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Misgendering someone means

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using the wrong pronouns for them.

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So misgendering a non-binary person

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who explicitly said to use neutral pron.

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such as “they/them”, but someone refers

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to them as “he” or “she” instead

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Personally, I use “she/her” when spaeking

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and neutral pronouns when writing.

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I usually tend to say it straight away.

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I prefer to be addressed with

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feminine pronouns when speaking.

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If the person doesn't say it and

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you want to be sure about someone’s pron.

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you can always ask,

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or just wait and see how they refer to

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themselves and follow their lead.

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In previous videos, there were a lot of

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comments invalidating our identities,

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denying our gender expressions

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and gender identities.

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I don’t read those comments very much,

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because I know most of them

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come from ignorance or just plain malice

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and they’d only upset me.

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I once participated in a documentary

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where you could hear people say that

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non-binary was just a trend,

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that it only appeared in the U.S. about ten years ago.

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It was tied to fashion, unisex, etc.

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But that’s completely false.

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And I think it’s also a very white,

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Eurocentric point of view,

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because in many cultures,

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many gender identities were totally

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erased during colonization, quite simply.

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Quite often, we hear that it's problematic

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or awkward to keep creating

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new gender labels to identify

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and re-identify ourselves, etc.

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But I think it's really important to

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be able to identify with something,

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even if we reject the one

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we were assigned at birth.

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It’s also necessary to get together

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in a community to create a bond.

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To know that you're not alone.

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There's support.

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There are other people who are like us,

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who understand us, who listen to us.

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If I had just one thing to say,

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it would be this: .

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Even if you don't get it,

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you can still support and respect people.

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You can learn yourself,

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challenge old ways of thinking,

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you can educate yourself,

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and help those around you.

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Even if you don’t fully grasp

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what their gender identity means to them.

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One last thing,

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every non-binary people

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express their identity differently.

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Some will undergo medical transitions,

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take hormones, have surgeries,

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while others will not.

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Someone transitions socially, medically,

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or not at all.

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Our identity remains legitimate

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and it exists. And there are many of us.