0:00:00.000,0:00:01.950
Even if you don't understand,

0:00:01.970,0:00:03.740
you can still support and help.

0:00:03.740,0:00:05.820
Our identity, it is valid

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and it exists.

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My name is Cami, I am 22 years old,[br]I am non-binary,

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and I'm here to talk [br]about being non-binary.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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that includes all gender identities

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that are neither exclusively masculine

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nor exclusively feminine.

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It can be agender,[br]so "a" is the lack of gender,

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genderless, which is neutral

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or it can be all fluid identities

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as if we imagined gender[br]as a spectrum with two poles,

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masculine and feminine.

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We can have a curser that moves.

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All gender fluid people,

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demigender, pangender, etc.

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I have never [br]really identified with femininity.

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At the age of 18, [br]I already started questioning

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my gender identity,

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and I met a trans man,[br]who I was dating

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for some time,

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and together we put[br]my identity into words

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that was non-binary.

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I believe that he had more info[br]than me,

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which is why he knew how to help me[br]find words about my identity.

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Gender identity [br]is what we are.

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It is the gender that we feel, live,[br]and experiment with.

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And gender expression[br]is what we show to others.

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It is how we express this identity.

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For example, you can have[br]a gender identity

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that is masculine: being a man,

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and having a gender expression[br]of a woman

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with a lot of qualities[br]considered feminine in a society.

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Like, for example,[br]Bilal Hassani, who is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents I was non-binary,

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and that I wanted to change my name[br]at the same time.

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It happened two years ago,[br]I was 20 back then.

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My mom took it well.

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By then, she was up to date [br]with gender issues.

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She was already woke on such issues [br]and super safe.

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I felt safe.

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With my dad,[br]it was a bit trickier.

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It took me a little bit longer [br]to talk to him about it,

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and I did not do it in person.

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I sent him a text,

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because it was easier for me to handle.

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He took it quite well.

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He said he didn't fully get it,[br]but he would be there for me,

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that it changed nothing for him, [br]and he loved me the same.

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For my grandma, [br]it was a bit of a challenge

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because it was something [br]she was not very familiar with.

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She grew up in the countryside.[br]Later, she moved to Paris.

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She was with my grandpa [br]for 50 years.

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She had very cisnormative beliefs,

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which never made her question [br]her own identity

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or the identity of others.

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When I talked to her about it,[br]her mind was a bit blown,

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but she always stayed put [br]and held herself together

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in the best way possible with me.

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She puts in a lot of effort,

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and she almost never makes mistakes[br]in using the preferred name.

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I requested a name change[br]in 2019.

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I submitted a request

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to the town hall of the city[br]where I lived.

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I obtained a form [br]that I filled out

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with testimonies [br]from my loved ones

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saying that they would use[br]the name Cami

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when talking to me.

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I asked my school[br]to write me a letter of support.

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I then submitted my application[br]and waited for a few months.

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Time varies, depending on the town hall.

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And my request of the name change[br]was accepted.

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Misgendering a person[br]means to address them

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with the wrong pronouns,

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so to gender a non-binary person[br]that would have specifically said

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to use neutral pronouns,[br]like ‘they/them’

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and to gender him or her[br]by using feminine or masculine pronouns.

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I, personally, use the pronouns[br]that are considered feminine

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when speaking [br]and neutral ones when writing.

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But it is true that in general,[br]I tend to say it right away,

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that I prefer people to address me[br]with feminine pronouns when talking to me.

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But if a person doesn't do it themselves,

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and you want to make sure [br]you are using the right pronouns,

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you can ask them their pronouns[br]or wait for that person

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to address themselves in front of you,[br]so you can follow suit.

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Under the previous videos I made,

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there were a lot of comments[br]that invalidate our identities,

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that don’t acknowledge[br]our gender expressions and identities.

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But to be honest,[br]I rarely read those comments

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simply because I know[br]that for the most part,

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they are either malicious [br]or very, very insensitive,

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and that they will just hurt my feelings.

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I've already participated in a report[br]where you could hear

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that it was only a trend

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and it only appeared a few years ago,[br]10, to be precise, in the US,

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that it really had something to do [br]with the trend,

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the unisex culture, etc.

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Well, that is completely false.[br]I think it is also a very white

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and very Eurocentric point of view,

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because in many cultures,[br]there are multiple gender identities

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that were completely erased [br]by colonisation, to put it simply.

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Quite often, we hear [br]that it is problematic,

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that it is a pain to recreate [br]more and more cases

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to identify, re-identify, etc.

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But I think it is super important

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to be able to, in the first place,[br]identify as something

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in order to unidentify from an identity

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that was imposed on us [br]arbitrarily.

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I think it is essential[br]to surround yourself with a community,

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to build a rapport,[br]to know you are not alone

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and there is support out there,[br]and that there are other people like us

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that get us and listen to us.

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If there was one thing I could say,[br]it would be this:

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even if you don't get it, [br]you can still support and help.

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You can learn,[br]you can think outside the box.

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You can get informed[br]and help your loved ones,

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even if you do not get everything

0:05:25.764,0:05:28.544
about their gender identity.

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Another thing to add [br]is that all non-binary people

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have a different way[br]of expressing their identity.

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There are people [br]who will medically transition,

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who will take hormones,

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who will get a gender-affirming surgery,[br]while others won't.

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Regardless of the way[br]in which we chose to transition or not,

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socially, medically, etc.,

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our identity, [br]it is always valid and it does exist.

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We are many.