0:00:00.000,0:00:01.190
Even if you don't understand it,

0:00:01.190,0:00:03.635
you can still support us [br]and take care of us.

0:00:03.657,0:00:06.315
Our identities continue to be legitimate,[br]and they exist.

0:00:06.886,0:00:08.526
[Testimonies: Being non-binary]

0:00:08.665,0:00:10.683
My name is Cami, [br]I am 22 years old,

0:00:10.683,0:00:11.483
I am non-binary,

0:00:11.483,0:00:13.250
and I'm here to talk to you [br]about being non-binary.

0:00:13.250,0:00:15.002
"Non-binary" is an umbrella term

0:00:15.013,0:00:17.343
that encompasses all gender identities

0:00:17.343,0:00:20.684
that are neither exclusively masculine[br]nor exclusively feminine.

0:00:20.684,0:00:23.709
This can represent "agender", [br]"a" meaning subtraction,

0:00:23.709,0:00:25.044
without a gender, being neutral

0:00:25.044,0:00:27.662
or it can represent all[br]fluid gender identities;

0:00:27.662,0:00:31.151
we can imagine gender as[br]a spectrum with two sides,

0:00:31.151,0:00:32.115
masculine and feminine,

0:00:32.115,0:00:34.434
and we have a cursor that moves.

0:00:34.434,0:00:35.916
So we have people[br]who are genderfluid,

0:00:35.916,0:00:39.557
demigender, pangender, etc.

0:00:39.557,0:00:42.017
I never really identified with femininity.

0:00:42.017,0:00:47.570
At 18 years old, I began to ask myself[br]questions about my gender identity,

0:00:47.570,0:00:51.704
and I met a transgender man[br]who I was with for some time,

0:00:51.704,0:00:54.752
and we were able to put my identity[br]into words,

0:00:54.752,0:00:56.598
which was "non-binary".

0:00:56.598,0:00:59.234
I think it's because he had a lot more[br]knowledge than me

0:00:59.234,0:01:03.478
that he was able to help me find the words[br]regarding my identity.

0:01:03.478,0:01:05.505
Gender identity is what we are.

0:01:05.505,0:01:09.243
Gender is what we feel, live,[br]and experiment with,

0:01:09.243,0:01:13.311
and gender expression is what we show[br]to others.

0:01:13.311,0:01:16.296
It's the way we express this identity.

0:01:16.296,0:01:18.343
For example, you could have a[br]gender identity,

0:01:18.343,0:01:19.813
for example, masculine,

0:01:19.813,0:01:21.365
one is a man,

0:01:21.365,0:01:23.564
and we can have a gender expression[br]that is feminine

0:01:23.564,0:01:26.212
using markers that are considered[br]feminine in society.

0:01:26.212,0:01:27.782
For example, Bilal Hassani,

0:01:27.782,0:01:31.255
who is a man[br]with a feminine gender expression.

0:01:31.255,0:01:35.116
I told my parents that I was non-binary

0:01:35.116,0:01:37.436
and that I would like to change my name[br]as well.

0:01:37.436,0:01:40.871
I was 20 years old, so it's been 2 years.

0:01:40.871,0:01:43.606
My mom took it very well.

0:01:43.606,0:01:46.863
She was already very aware[br]of topics surrounding gender.

0:01:46.863,0:01:49.462
She had dismantled these ideas,[br]and was a safe person.

0:01:49.462,0:01:50.903
I felt secure.

0:01:50.903,0:01:53.008
With my dad,[br]it was a little more delicate.

0:01:53.008,0:01:55.362
I took a little more time[br]to talk to him about it

0:01:55.362,0:01:58.188
and I didn't do it in person.

0:01:58.188,0:02:01.884
I sent him a message,[br]because it was easier for me to manage.

0:02:01.884,0:02:04.480
He reacted pretty well;[br]he didn't understand everything,

0:02:04.480,0:02:07.080
but in any case,[br]he would be there to support me,

0:02:07.080,0:02:09.640
and that nothing would change for him,[br]that he would love me the same.

0:02:09.640,0:02:11.997
With my grandmother,[br]it was a bit trickier

0:02:11.997,0:02:14.681
because it was something[br]very foreign to her.

0:02:14.681,0:02:17.446
She grew up on the countryside,[br]then she went to Paris.

0:02:17.446,0:02:20.133
She lived with my grandfather [br]for 50 years.

0:02:20.133,0:02:22.782
She was in cis, heteronormative[br]environments

0:02:22.782,0:02:24.795
where she never questioned[br]her own identity

0:02:24.795,0:02:26.146
or the identities of others.

0:02:26.146,0:02:29.138
When I spoke about it with her,[br]she was a bit stunned,

0:02:29.138,0:02:32.554
but she always looked after[br]and cared about me

0:02:32.554,0:02:35.323
to behave in the best way possible.

0:02:35.323,0:02:36.569
She has made enormous efforts,

0:02:36.569,0:02:39.173
she rarely makes mistakes with my[br]name now.

0:02:39.173,0:02:41.323
I put in a request[br]to change my first name

0:02:41.323,0:02:43.961
in 2019.

0:02:43.961,0:02:45.832
I sent the request in

0:02:45.832,0:02:48.498
to the city hall of the town[br]that I was living in.

0:02:48.498,0:02:50.764
I received a form[br]that I filled out

0:02:50.764,0:02:52.950
with testimonies of my friends

0:02:52.950,0:02:54.978
that say they use the name Cami

0:02:54.978,0:02:56.812
to refer to me.

0:02:56.812,0:03:00.864
I asked my school to write a letter[br]of support.

0:03:00.864,0:03:02.166
Then, I submitted my case document.

0:03:02.166,0:03:03.965
I waited a few months.

0:03:03.965,0:03:05.366
This wait varies with city halls.

0:03:05.366,0:03:07.945
And then I received an acceptance[br]to change my first name.

0:03:07.945,0:03:09.384
Misgendering someone

0:03:09.384,0:03:11.152
is when you address someone

0:03:11.152,0:03:13.370
using the incorrect pronouns,

0:03:13.370,0:03:15.320
so gendering a non-binary person

0:03:15.320,0:03:17.753
that has already explicitly stated

0:03:17.753,0:03:20.588
that they use neutral pronouns,[br]like "they",

0:03:20.588,0:03:24.217
and you gender them[br]as masculine or feminine.

0:03:24.217,0:03:27.396
I personally use feminine pronouns[br]when speaking,

0:03:27.396,0:03:29.747
and neutral pronouns[br]when writing.

0:03:29.747,0:03:31.311
But in general,

0:03:31.311,0:03:32.925
I do have the tendency[br]to say right away

0:03:32.925,0:03:36.692
that I prefer that I be referred to[br]with feminine pronouns when speaking.

0:03:36.692,0:03:38.744
If a person doesn't do that,

0:03:38.744,0:03:42.912
and you would like to know for sure[br]how to refer to them,

0:03:42.912,0:03:44.646
you can ask them for their pronouns

0:03:44.646,0:03:47.197
or wait for the person[br]to refer to themselves

0:03:47.197,0:03:48.765
so you can follow suit.

0:03:48.765,0:03:51.431
In the videos[br]that I have done previously,

0:03:51.431,0:03:52.983
there were a lot of comments

0:03:52.983,0:03:55.500
that invalidated our identities,

0:03:55.500,0:04:00.301
that denied our gender expressions[br]and our gender identities.

0:04:00.301,0:04:03.939
Afterwards, I've read fewer[br]of these comments,

0:04:03.939,0:04:05.609
mainly because[br]for the most part,

0:04:05.609,0:04:08.653
they're malicious,[br]or very insensitive,

0:04:08.653,0:04:10.476
and they're just going to[br]hurt my feelings.

0:04:10.476,0:04:14.408
I already participated in a report[br]where we heard that

0:04:14.408,0:04:15.775
this was just a fashion trend;

0:04:15.775,0:04:17.705
that this just appeared[br]in the past few years

0:04:17.705,0:04:19.607
in the US, 10 years ago;

0:04:19.607,0:04:22.584
that this is closely related to fashion,

0:04:22.584,0:04:24.843
like unisex fashion, etc.

0:04:24.843,0:04:25.676
This is completely false.

0:04:25.676,0:04:32.762
I think that this is a hyper-White, [br]hyper-eurocentric point of view

0:04:32.762,0:04:37.543
because in many cultures,[br]there are many gender identities

0:04:37.543,0:04:41.164
that were totally erased[br]by colonization, simply put.

0:04:41.164,0:04:44.633
Frequently, we hear that[br]this is problematic

0:04:44.633,0:04:48.147
or that it's annoying to create more[br]and more boxes

0:04:48.147,0:04:50.205
to self-identify with,[br]to re-identify with, etc,

0:04:50.205,0:04:51.893
but I think[br]that it's super important

0:04:51.893,0:04:55.265
to even be able to self-identify[br]with something

0:04:55.265,0:04:57.569
in order to unidentify[br]with an identity

0:04:57.569,0:04:59.428
that was arbitrarily assigned[br]to us.

0:04:59.428,0:05:02.492
I think it's also necessary[br]to find a community

0:05:02.492,0:05:04.465
to create a link,[br]and knowing that you're not alone,

0:05:04.465,0:05:05.639
that you have support,

0:05:05.639,0:05:07.823
that there are other people[br]like us,

0:05:07.823,0:05:09.281
that understands us, [br]and that listen to us.

0:05:09.281,0:05:11.398
If I had only one thing to say,

0:05:11.398,0:05:13.977
I think it would be[br]that even if you don't understand it,

0:05:13.977,0:05:16.270
you can still support us[br]and take care of us.

0:05:16.270,0:05:18.517
You can learn,[br]you can deconstruct

0:05:18.517,0:05:19.839
your current way of thinking.

0:05:19.839,0:05:23.281
You can teach yourself,[br]help your friends,

0:05:23.281,0:05:28.316
even if you don't understand everything[br]about gender identities.

0:05:28.316,0:05:31.176
A second thing would be[br]that all non-binary people

0:05:31.176,0:05:35.013
have a different way[br]of expressing their identity.

0:05:35.013,0:05:36.857
There are people who are going to

0:05:36.857,0:05:38.567
transition medically,[br]take hormones,

0:05:38.567,0:05:40.568
undergo operations,[br]and others won't,

0:05:40.568,0:05:45.119
and regardless of the way[br]we transition or not,

0:05:45.119,0:05:46.670
socially or medically, etc,

0:05:46.670,0:05:49.888
our identities continue to be legitimate,[br]and they exist,

0:05:49.888,0:05:52.768
and we are a thriving community.

0:05:52.791,0:05:54.841
[COSMOPOLITON]