0:00:00.000,0:00:03.590
Even if you don’t understand, [br]you can still be there for us.

0:00:03.590,0:00:05.335
Our identity is valid.

0:00:05.335,0:00:06.682
It's real and it matters.

0:00:09.200,0:00:11.276
I'm Cami, I'm 22, non-binary.

0:00:11.276,0:00:13.289
I'm here to talk to you[br]about non-binarity.

0:00:13.289,0:00:17.313
Non-binarity is an umbrella term [br]for gender identities

0:00:17.313,0:00:20.622
beyond male/female.

0:00:20.622,0:00:22.453
That could mean being agender,

0:00:22.453,0:00:25.124
having no gender, being neutral.

0:00:25.124,0:00:27.439
Or identities that shift.

0:00:27.439,0:00:32.348
Imagine gender as a spectrum[br]with male and female poles.

0:00:32.348,0:00:34.250
Some people move along the spectrum.

0:00:34.250,0:00:39.172
Like genderfluid, demigender, [br]pangender people, and so on.

0:00:39.372,0:00:42.285
I never really felt [br]connected to femininity.

0:00:42.285,0:00:47.742
At 18, I began questioning[br]my gender identity.

0:00:47.742,0:00:51.688
I met a trans man I was with for a while,

0:00:51.688,0:00:56.418
and together we found the words to name[br]my identity: non-binary.

0:00:56.418,0:00:59.290
He had more knowledge than I did,

0:00:59.290,0:01:02.871
so he helped me find the words.

0:01:02.871,0:01:05.269
Gender identity is who we are.

0:01:05.269,0:01:09.090
It’s how we feel and experience.

0:01:09.090,0:01:13.372
Gender expression is what [br]we show to others.

0:01:13.372,0:01:16.099
It's how we express our gender identity.

0:01:16.099,0:01:19.514
Someone might identify as male,

0:01:19.514,0:01:23.901
but express their gender [br]in a feminine way

0:01:23.901,0:01:26.131
with markers seen as feminine in society.

0:01:26.131,0:01:30.550
Like Bilal Hassani, a man[br]with a feminine gender expression.

0:01:31.090,0:01:34.916
I told my parents I was non-binary.

0:01:34.916,0:01:37.391
I also said I wanted to change my name.

0:01:37.981,0:01:40.808
I was 20, so that was two years ago.

0:01:41.526,0:01:43.424
My mom took it really well,

0:01:43.424,0:01:46.799
as she was already aware of gender issues.

0:01:46.799,0:01:49.233
She was open-minded and supportive.

0:01:49.233,0:01:50.373
I felt really safe.

0:01:51.243,0:01:53.162
With my dad, it was a bit harder.

0:01:53.162,0:01:55.211
I took longer to talk to him about it.

0:01:55.211,0:01:57.978
I didn’t tell him in person.

0:01:57.978,0:02:00.439
I messaged him, it was easier that way.

0:02:02.039,0:02:03.339
He took it pretty well.

0:02:03.339,0:02:06.804
He didn’t get it all, [br]but he’d still be there to support me.

0:02:06.804,0:02:09.553
It changed nothing for him, [br]he still loved me.

0:02:09.553,0:02:11.178
It was tougher with my grandma

0:02:12.218,0:02:14.401
because this was all new to her.

0:02:14.401,0:02:17.263
She grew up rural and moved to Paris.

0:02:17.263,0:02:19.959
She lived with my grandfather [br]for 50 years.

0:02:19.959,0:02:22.723
Her world was cis-heteronormative,

0:02:22.723,0:02:26.191
never questioning gender identities.

0:02:26.191,0:02:28.774
When I told her, she was a bit shocked.

0:02:28.774,0:02:35.129
But she always tried [br]to treat me the best she could.

0:02:35.129,0:02:36.349
She’s made a huge effort.

0:02:36.349,0:02:39.104
She almost never gets [br]my chosen name wrong now.

0:02:39.104,0:02:43.571
I requested a name change in 2019.

0:02:43.571,0:02:47.936
I applied at the town hall [br]where I was living.

0:02:48.376,0:02:50.621
I picked up a form and filled it out

0:02:50.621,0:02:56.138
with testimonials from loved ones [br]who used “Camille” for me.

0:02:56.138,0:03:00.749
I also got a supporting letter [br]from my school.

0:03:00.749,0:03:03.997
Then I submitted everything [br]and waited a few months.

0:03:03.997,0:03:05.580
It depends on the city, honestly.

0:03:05.580,0:03:07.995
But mine was eventually approved.

0:03:07.995,0:03:13.024
Misgendering someone means [br]using the wrong pronouns to address them.

0:03:13.024,0:03:20.457
If a non-binary person asks for [br]neutral pronouns like “they”

0:03:20.457,0:03:24.020
and you call them he or she, [br]that’s still misgendering.

0:03:24.020,0:03:29.092
Personally, I use feminine pronouns[br]when speaking, neutral when writing.

0:03:29.092,0:03:32.804
I usually mention my pronouns upfront.

0:03:32.804,0:03:36.426
I prefer people use she/her [br]for me when speaking.

0:03:36.426,0:03:38.742
If they don’t do it first,

0:03:38.742,0:03:42.766
and you want to get it right,

0:03:42.766,0:03:48.738
you can directly ask someone[br]or wait to hear the pronouns they use.

0:03:48.738,0:03:51.598
On videos I’ve posted before,

0:03:51.598,0:03:55.425
there were lots of comments [br]denying our identities,

0:03:55.425,0:04:00.632
rejecting our gender expressions [br]and identities.

0:04:00.632,0:04:03.772
I don’t read them much,

0:04:03.772,0:04:08.743
because most are just mean-spirited [br]or just really awkward.

0:04:08.743,0:04:10.160
They only end up hurting me.

0:04:10.160,0:04:15.544
I was in a documentary [br]where they said it was just a trend.

0:04:15.544,0:04:19.646
That it started in the U.S. [br]about ten years ago,

0:04:19.646,0:04:24.575
and was really just tied [br]to unisex fashion.

0:04:24.575,0:04:25.615
That's totally false.

0:04:25.615,0:04:32.897
I think that’s a very white, [br]Eurocentric point of view.

0:04:32.897,0:04:37.498
Many cultures had multiple genders.

0:04:37.498,0:04:41.115
They were completely erased [br]during colonization.

0:04:41.115,0:04:44.749
People often say it’s problematic

0:04:44.749,0:04:50.152
or annoying to create new labels[br]to name or rename your identity.

0:04:50.152,0:04:55.207
But it's really important to first [br]identify with something

0:04:55.207,0:04:59.536
to break away from the identity [br]assigned to us at birth.

0:04:59.536,0:05:04.259
Belonging to a community helps you[br]connect, realize you're not alone,