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Even if you don’t understand, 
you can still be there for us.

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Our identity is valid.

3
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It's real and it matters.

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I'm Cami, I'm 22, non-binary.

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I'm here to talk to you
about non-binarity.

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Non-binarity is an umbrella term 
for gender identities

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beyond male/female.

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That could mean being agender,

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having no gender, being neutral.

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Or identities that shift.

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Imagine gender as a spectrum
with male and female poles.

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Some people move along the spectrum.

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Like genderfluid, demigender, 
pangender people, and so on.

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I never really felt 
connected to femininity.

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At 18, I began questioning
my gender identity.

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I met a trans man I was with for a while,

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and together we found the words to name
my identity: non-binary.

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He had more knowledge than I did,

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so he helped me find the words.

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Gender identity is who we are.

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It’s how we feel and experience.

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Gender expression is what 
we show to others.

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It's how we express our gender identity.

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Someone might identify as male,

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but express their gender 
in a feminine way

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with markers seen as feminine in society.

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Like Bilal Hassani, a man
with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents I was non-binary.

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I also said I wanted to change my name.

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I was 20, so that was two years ago.

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My mom took it really well,

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as she was already aware of gender issues.

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She was open-minded and supportive.

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I felt really safe.

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With my dad, it was a bit harder.

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I took longer to talk to him about it.

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I didn’t tell him in person.

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I messaged him, it was easier that way.

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He took it pretty well.

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He didn’t get it all, 
but he’d still be there to support me.

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It changed nothing for him, 
he still loved me.

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It was tougher with my grandma

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because this was all new to her.

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She grew up rural and moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandfather 
for 50 years.

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Her world was cis-heteronormative,

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never questioning gender identities.

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When I told her, she was a bit shocked.

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But she always tried 
to treat me the best she could.

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She’s made a huge effort.

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She almost never gets 
my chosen name wrong now.

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I requested a name change in 2019.

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I applied at the town hall 
where I was living.

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I picked up a form and filled it out

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with testimonials from loved ones 
who used “Camille” for me.

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I also got a supporting letter 
from my school.

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Then I submitted everything 
and waited a few months.

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It depends on the city, honestly.

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But mine was eventually approved.

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Misgendering someone means 
using the wrong pronouns to address them.

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If a non-binary person asks for 
neutral pronouns like “they”

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and you call them he or she, 
that’s still misgendering.

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns
when speaking, neutral when writing.

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I usually mention my pronouns upfront.

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I prefer people use she/her 
for me when speaking.

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If they don’t do it first,

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and you want to get it right,

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you can directly ask someone
or wait to hear the pronouns they use.

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On videos I’ve posted before,

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there were lots of comments 
denying our identities,

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rejecting our gender expressions 
and identities.

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I don’t read them much,

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because most are just mean-spirited 
or just really awkward.

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They only end up hurting me.

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I was in a documentary 
where they said it was just a trend.

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That it started in the U.S. 
about ten years ago,

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and was really just tied 
to unisex fashion.

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That's totally false.

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I think that’s a very white, 
Eurocentric point of view.

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Many cultures had multiple genders.

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They were completely erased 
during colonization.

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People often say it’s problematic

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or annoying to create new labels
to name or rename your identity.

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But it's really important to first 
identify with something

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to break away from the identity 
assigned to us at birth.

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Belonging to a community helps you
connect, realize you're not alone,