1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
sweet robes, Obi

2
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Wan-too-many days in the sun

3
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
stop preaching homie

4
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
teach your flock to covet some fun

5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000
I bring joy every year

6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
man I represent cheer

7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
you represent sandals

8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,000
and a scraggly beard

9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
I'm from the North Pole

10
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,000
that's why my rhymes are so cold

11
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000
I spit diamonds

12
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,000
but I'm serving up some fresh coal

13
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,000
you been a naughty boy

14
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
you brought a plague of frogs

15
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,000
you best arrest yourself

16
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
you broke your own law

17
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
or was there something in rule six

18
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000
I didn't understand?

19
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000
my list says killed Egyptian dude

20
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000
buried him in sand

21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
I read your book

22
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000
you got a strict religion

23
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
no bacon?

24
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
but mandatory circumcision

25
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,000
I'm a jolly bowl a jelly

26
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000
giving holiday presents

27
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
but all the chosen people ever get

28
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,000
for Christmas is jealous

29
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
when I was high upon the mountain

30
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000
God revealed the truths of the Earth

31
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
but he never mentioned

32
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000
a fat ass Papa Smurf

33
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000
it takes nine reindeers

34
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000
to haul your fat ass

35
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
you took the Christ outta Christmas

36
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
and just added more mass

37
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
you need to stop breaking

38
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000
into houses and creeping

39
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
and peeping on naughty kids

40
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
while they sleeping

41
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
and keep your hands off my stocking

42
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000
don't you Ho Ho me

43
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
I'll split your ass in half

44
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,000
like I did the Red Sea

45
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
you ain't a saint you a slaver

46
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
like a pharaoh in the snow

47
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000
stop with the unpaid labor

48
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000
and let my little people go

49
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,000
we ain't slaves

50
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000
all that sand turned your brains to mush

51
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000
I think you need to stop smoking

52
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
all that burning bush

53
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,000
yeah we're magical workers man

54
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
we hang with reindeers

55
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000
yo here's a GPS

56
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000
who gets lost for 40 years?

57
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000
you're a glorified secretary

58
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000
so write this down

59
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
begat deez nutz

60
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Santa Claus is coming to town

61
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,000
so much drama in the Israe-L B C

62
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,000
it's kinda hard talking directly

63
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,000
to the G O single D

64
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000
hand me my chisel

65
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000
I got a new commandizzle for ya'll

66
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000
thou shalt not let children

67
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,000
sit on a grown man's lap at the mall

68
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000
I'll beat you ten times

69
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000
before the bread can rise you dummy

70
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000
and walk off into the land

71
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,000
of my milk and honies

72
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,000
who won?

73
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,000
who's next?

74
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000
you decide