Welcome to another exciting episode of Are

You Unemployed?

[energetic music]

Here's your host, The Bureau of Labor

Statistics.

[audience cheering]

Hello, jobless Americans! The unemployment

figures have been released. So it's time

to see if you're officially unemployed!

Let's meet our contestants.

Contestant number 1. You were recently

laid off. Have you found a new job?

[sigh] No way. No one's hiring right now.

I haven't even bothered to look.

[Buzzer sound]

I'm sorry! You are not in the labor

market and therefore are not officially

unemployed.

[energetic music]

Contestant number 2. It says here you lost

your job as an auto worker. Have you found

a new one?

No, not yet. The industry isn't doing so

well. I need a job but I stopped looking

because the plants closed down.

[Buzzer sound]

Oh, I'm sorry! You're not working but

you're not officially unemployed either.

[Bell dings]

Contestant number 3. You were an airline

pilot until a recent downsizing. Have you

found work?

Ugh. Well, I'm still looking for a real

job, but all I could get was four hours a

week at a home store.

[Buzzer]

Oh no! That four hours counts as employed!

Contestant number 4. You lost your job as

a stockbroker. Have you found another?

No, I haven't yet but I did look in the

classifieds last week.

[music and sound of typing]

[loud hearbeat sound]

[loud celebratory music]

Congratulations, Contestant number 4!

You get to to the counted in the official

unemployment rate!

But what about the other contestants?

They're jobless. Why don't they count?

Well, if we included them,

that would make the number much worse!