[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.48,0:00:01.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(henry rollins) Gag.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.02,0:00:03.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanna go *prrfttgh prfhhthffh prrrgggh*
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.19,0:00:03.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.88,0:00:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But no,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.94,0:00:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I'm very angry when I'm there
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.92,0:00:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cuz there's no one to talk to.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.62,0:00:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you're a guy who likes girls
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.12,0:00:11.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you wanna go out on a date,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.15,0:00:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes you want a real date.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.70,0:00:15.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't wanna abduct these chicks like \Nyou're used ta doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.32,0:00:17.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know you're tired of rufies and duct tape
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.62,0:00:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every saturday night.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.45,0:00:19.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want a real date.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.46,0:00:20.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ya want a real date.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.96,0:00:22.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I'm one of those horrible men
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.82,0:00:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who judges women by the most shallow criterion.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.30,0:00:29.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Umm... don't ever try to judge a woman or anybody
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.87,0:00:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by asking them their top three records,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.44,0:00:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,top five foreign films of all time.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.62,0:00:35.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's that High Fidelity
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.81,0:00:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stupid list shit that some guys do.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.31,0:00:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I can't be alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.45,0:00:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's at least one moron in here
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.30,0:00:42.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who does that with women.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.68,0:00:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Women have seen everything come by them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.00,0:00:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ya know, 80 times.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.12,0:00:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you say, "So what's your top five films."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.23,0:00:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The girl goes,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.21,0:00:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh God, he's one of those guy."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.76,0:00:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't wait for this to be over."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.61,0:00:54.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He's not even getting a handjob."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.62,0:00:56.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am out of here."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.85,0:00:58.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.38,0:01:00.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every once in a while I find the girl,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.42,0:01:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're out on a date,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.48,0:01:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're driving down the road.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.22,0:01:03.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm driving and I go,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.97,0:01:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do not ask."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.84,0:01:05.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't do the list thing."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.91,0:01:07.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't do the list thing."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.15,0:01:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Just have a nice conversation."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.72,0:01:09.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Become interested."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.58,0:01:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Find something interesting to talk about."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.49,0:01:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That we can both talk about."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.45,0:01:13.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't dominate the conversation."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.88,0:01:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't spin the conversation to things
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.68,0:01:16.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you know so much about
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.66,0:01:18.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can preach stentorian from the mount."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.81,0:01:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Come on,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.38,0:01:20.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be open,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.18,0:01:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be available."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.69,0:01:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm driving,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.38,0:01:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm driving,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.02,0:01:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my will is breaking down
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.28,0:01:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finally, "Fuck it."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.47,0:01:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I really need to know."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.87,0:01:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what are the three CDs in \Nyour changer right now?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.25,0:01:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, I'm really listening
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.27,0:01:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the new Nickelba-"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.86,0:01:37.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(brakes screeching)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.74,0:01:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Get the fuck out of my car!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.98,0:01:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You suck!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.71,0:01:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Whatever!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.96,0:01:53.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You suck!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.67,0:01:55.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Whatever!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.90,0:02:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want a woman who can sit me down,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.83,0:02:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shut me up,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.52,0:02:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell me ten things I don't already know,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.08,0:02:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and make me laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.43,0:02:07.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't care what ya look like.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.80,0:02:09.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just turn me on
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.04,0:02:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you can do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.20,0:02:14.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will follow you on bloody\Nstumps through the snow.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.39,0:02:18.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.05,0:02:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will do your windows.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.88,0:02:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will care about your feelings.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.28,0:02:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just have something in there.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.10,0:02:28.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want one of them readers,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.63,0:02:30.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what I want.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.39,0:02:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want a reader.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.80,0:02:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so you go out with a girl
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.23,0:02:34.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're driving.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.51,0:02:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what are you reading right now?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.04,0:02:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all too often,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.09,0:02:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well I'm not much of a reader."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.26,0:02:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(brakes screeching)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.56,0:02:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm not much of a dinner buyer!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.68,0:02:44.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Get out! Get out! Get out!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.01,0:02:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're lost in the stucko sprawl of LA."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.66,0:02:48.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't care!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.82,0:02:49.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But every once in a while
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.60,0:02:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you meet the one who reads.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.84,0:02:52.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what are you reading," he asked.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.72,0:02:55.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, the date killer question.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.16,0:02:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what are you reading?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.08,0:02:57.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well I'm in the middle of a book right now..."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.42,0:02:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh my God!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.30,0:02:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"She's in the middle of a book."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.77,0:03:03.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Be still my beating heart."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.06,0:03:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(heavy breathing)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.32,0:03:07.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what are you reading?"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.22,0:03:10.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he asked expectedly.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.92,0:03:14.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nervous, tingling, body aquiver.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.06,0:03:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, I'm in the middle of this Harry Potter-"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.58,0:03:18.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(brakes screeching)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.72,0:03:19.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't be an adult woman
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.52,0:03:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and read a fucking childs book in my car."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.18,0:03:23.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Get the fuck out!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.94,0:03:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.69,0:03:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's obvious a guy like me
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.17,0:03:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is gonna live alone for the rest of his life.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.22,0:03:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least I know it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.46,0:03:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I've kind of found that A & E,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.42,0:03:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,History Channel person that lives inside.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.74,0:03:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when I'm between tours
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.48,0:03:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living in the city of whores in Los Angeles.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.00,0:03:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just kind of hole up on my own
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.61,0:03:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by 8PM I'm just in front of the computer
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.58,0:03:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on Google or Ebay,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.60,0:03:46.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,buying things I don't need
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.68,0:03:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finding out 80 more things
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.21,0:03:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about Che Guevarra I didn't know before.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.20,0:03:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And hoping the History International
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.26,0:03:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has a 12 hour documentary on the Spanish Inquisition
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.85,0:03:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not just a paltry three hour one.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.56,0:04:00.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's the kind of miserable asshole I am,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.53,0:04:01.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so no one calls,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.58,0:04:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no one comes over.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.67,0:04:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I have really refined my jack-off technique.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.76,0:04:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What else are ya gonna do?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.28,0:04:10.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's gets late at night,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.53,0:04:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a man wants some lovin',
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.94,0:04:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if there's no one around,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.05,0:04:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you just have to love yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.79,0:04:15.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.60,0:04:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you, too."