-And finally, you guys, today
is the last day of January. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So I thought it'd be nice
to give a little recap of the entire month.
Thank you very much.
[ Cheers and applause ]
January has gone by
A lot of people did it dry
Tomorrow, no more being healthy
We'll all drink like
-A shirtless Jason Kelce.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
- Trump says he's mentally fit
Cognitive test is legit
But wait a second, here's the thing
All his answers were...
-Ding ding, ding ding ding ding.
- Ron DeSantis came up short
Pun intended, little sport
Bad numbers in every poll
People care more about
-The Chicago rat hole.
- Boeing had a few close calls
Doors fell off and fireball
But the biggest threat I heard today
Is the...
-Footlong chocolate-chip cookie at Subway.
- Record rallies for the stocks
Mob wives style on TikTok
Stanley Cups may lead to fights
Better bulk up like
-Jeremy Allen White.
- All the awards went to "The Bear"
Fun to watch, but do not work there
"Oppenheimer" left me shaken
At least I'm not...
-A man in Alabama facing charges after diving
into a Bass Pro Shops aquarium completely naked.
- January, say goodbye
Now it's February's time
We all got a common goal
Get Taylor to the Super Bowl