1
00:00:11,791 --> 00:00:12,799
Wow,

2
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,220
what an audience.

3
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,531
But if I'm being honest,
I don't care what you think of my talk.

4
00:00:18,097 --> 00:00:19,101
I don't.

5
00:00:19,101 --> 00:00:21,100
I care what the internet
thinks of my talk.

6
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,101
(Laughter)

7
00:00:22,101 --> 00:00:24,579
Because they are the ones
who get it seen and shared.

8
00:00:24,579 --> 00:00:26,907
And I think that's where
most people get it wrong.

9
00:00:26,907 --> 00:00:28,574
They're talking to you, here,

10
00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:33,290
instead of talking to you,
random person scrolling Facebook.

11
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:35,503
Thanks for the click.

12
00:00:36,141 --> 00:00:37,825
You see, back in 2009,

13
00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:41,400
we all had these weird little things
called attention spans.

14
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,400
(Laughter)

15
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,596
Yeah, they're gone. They're gone.
We killed them. They're dead.

16
00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:50,060
I'm trying to think of the last time
I watched an 18-minute TED talk.

17
00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,640
It's been years, literally years.

18
00:00:52,865 --> 00:00:55,560
So if you're giving
a TED talk, keep it quick.

19
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,500
I'm doing mine in under a minute.

20
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,155
I'm at 44 seconds right now;

21
00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:01,283
that means we've got
time for one final joke.

22
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:04,500
Why are balloons so expensive?

23
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:05,705
(Audience) "Why?"

24
00:01:05,705 --> 00:01:06,941
Woody Roseland: Inflation.

25
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,000
(Laughter)

26
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,666
(Applause)