[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.79,0:00:12.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.03,0:00:14.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what an audience. Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.52,0:00:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if I'm being honest,\NI don't care what you think of my talk. Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.10,0:00:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't. Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.10,0:00:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I care what the internet\Nthinks of my talk. Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.10,0:00:22.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.10,0:00:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because they are the ones\Nwho get it seen and shared. Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.58,0:00:26.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think that's where\Nmost people get it wrong. Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.91,0:00:28.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're talking to you, here, Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.66,0:00:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of talking to you,\Nrandom person scrolling Facebook. Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.32,0:00:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks for the click. Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.14,0:00:37.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, back in 2009, Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.86,0:00:41.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we all had these weird little things\Ncalled attention spans. Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.40,0:00:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.40,0:00:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, they're gone. They're gone.\NWe killed them. They're dead. Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.29,0:00:50.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trying to think of the last time\NI watched an 18-minute TED talk. Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.14,0:00:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's been years, literally years. Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.86,0:00:55.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're giving\Na TED talk, keep it quick. Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.70,0:00:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm doing mine in under a minute. Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.56,0:00:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm at 44 seconds right now; Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.16,0:01:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that means we've got\Ntime for one final joke. Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.45,0:01:04.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why are balloons so expensive? Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.58,0:01:05.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience) "Why?" Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.70,0:01:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woody Roseland: Inflation. Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.94,0:01:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.00,0:01:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)