[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.80,0:00:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abemus Papam
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.04,0:00:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 1 – The Pope's Death
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.52,0:00:15.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Pope is dead. They announced it
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.44,0:00:20.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,early this morning, but I already knew it for hours. I could feel it in the air, in the silence of the rooms,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.96,0:00:25.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the way the secretaries' footsteps echoed in the corridors of the Vatican.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.72,0:00:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I recited the prayers with the other cardinals, but there was
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.52,0:00:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only one thought in my mind: now the Conclave begins. We gathered in the Sistine Chapel. The
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.68,0:00:43.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doors closed behind us, slow, heavy. Nobody spoke. Each of us
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.60,0:00:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,knew what was about to happen: vote, pray, wait, and then vote again,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.20,0:00:55.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again and again, until the Holy Spirit would give us the right name.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.96,0:01:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't prepared. No one ever is, they say. But I felt something different,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.84,0:01:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a deep, inexplicable agitation. It wasn't fear. Not yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.20,0:01:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Outside the world looked at the chimneys, inside the silence was almost violent.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.40,0:01:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at the faces of the other cardinals and realized that many hoped not to
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.52,0:01:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be chosen. Me first. But then why, when I
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.88,0:01:30.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saw that first vote with my name, did my heart start beating fast?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.08,0:01:37.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I had always known it. And perhaps this was my greatest fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.20,0:01:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 2 – The Conclave and the choice
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.16,0:01:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The votes continued to rise. Every time one of the cardinals
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.44,0:01:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said my name, my stomach would clench a little more.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.80,0:01:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I tried not to look at anyone, to appear calm, but
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.44,0:01:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something uncontrollable was moving inside me. "Melville." Still. "Melville." And again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.72,0:02:05.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started hearing a ringing in my ears, as if the world outside was receding.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.64,0:02:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything became muffled, slow. I could no longer follow the
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.64,0:02:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rhythm of the voting. My breath was short, but I didn't want to look up.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.64,0:02:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the moment: 2/3 of the votes. Election confirmed.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.84,0:02:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They all looked at me, waiting for my response.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.96,0:02:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only had to say one word: "I accept." My lips moved on their own. I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.12,0:02:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even know how I did it. I felt hands on my shoulders,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.92,0:02:42.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smiles, whispered prayers. They took me into the room
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.04,0:02:46.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to dress up as the Pope, but I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.60,0:02:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You need to get ready. You'll be entering the world soon," someone told me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.84,0:02:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I nodded, but my heart was a stone. And as I walked towards the balcony,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.96,0:03:03.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something in me broke. I couldn't do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.44,0:03:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 3 – Rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.44,0:03:12.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The red curtains were in front of me. One step was enough. It was enough to look out.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.16,0:03:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The master of ceremonies was ready. The crowd in the square, in the rain,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.52,0:03:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was waiting for that moment: "Abemus Papam." I was there, dressed in white. But inside
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.72,0:03:25.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only felt darkness. My head was spinning,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.72,0:03:31.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my breathing was short, my hands were cold. “Your Eminence, it's time,”
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.40,0:03:37.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,someone whispered behind me. I wasn't moving. I couldn't. I didn't want to.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.60,0:03:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The words ricocheted through my mind like an echo: "You are the Pope. You will lead millions of people.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.72,0:03:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are the voice of God on Earth." But I… I don't have it. I don't have
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.12,0:03:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that voice. I don't have the strength. I took a step back.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.64,0:04:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I whispered, "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.08,0:04:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Silence. One of those moments that seem eternal.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.80,0:04:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, chaos. Hands trying to stop me, voices
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.84,0:04:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,calling me, cardinals looking at each other confused. I walked away. I wasn't running. I was walking slowly,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.56,0:04:22.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards a corridor, towards something that even I couldn't explain.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.28,0:04:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went back to my room and closed the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.44,0:04:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sat down. The Pope has been elected, but the Pope is not there.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.56,0:04:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 4 – The psychoanalyst in the Vatican
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.12,0:04:41.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next day I didn't leave my room. I didn't touch any food. I didn't say a word.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.96,0:04:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I heard knocking every now and then. Then nothing more. Just the sound of my breathing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.60,0:04:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, in the afternoon, they knocked again. But this time they entered:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.12,0:04:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a cardinal and a stranger. A distinguished man, elegant jacket,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.28,0:05:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thin glasses. He wasn't a priest. "He's a psychoanalyst," the cardinal said,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.00,0:05:09.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seeking my gaze. I nodded slowly.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.20,0:05:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe that's what they wanted: someone to fix me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.00,0:05:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The man introduced himself in a calm voice. He said I wasn't sick, that I wasn't
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.80,0:05:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was alone, who was there to listen to me. "I don't want to be Pope," I said.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.40,0:05:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the first sentence after hours of silence. He wasn't surprised. He just asked, “Why?”
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.44,0:05:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I didn't know the answer. It wasn't fear of power. It wasn't weakness.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.12,0:05:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was something deeper. A lack. A void.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.52,0:05:50.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked for a while. Not much, actually. Then he said that time was needed,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.60,0:05:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that crises are not resolved in a day. I thought: they aren't resolved at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.56,0:06:04.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That night I had a dream. And when I woke up I decided to go out.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.20,0:06:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 5 – Escape to the City
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.08,0:06:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At dawn, before the Vatican woke up, I opened the door and went out.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.76,0:06:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Without the white robe. Without ring. Without escort. Just a dark coat and a cap.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.24,0:06:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody stopped me. I entered a
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.80,0:06:26.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bus, like an ordinary man. Sitting among the people, I listened to the voices,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.72,0:06:31.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sounds, the real world. Nobody knew who I was.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.64,0:06:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the first time, in days, I was breathing.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.96,0:06:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rome was different from how I remembered it. Or maybe it was me who was different.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.08,0:06:44.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walked aimlessly, following only my legs. I found myself in a square,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.88,0:06:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then in a park, then in front of a theater. A company was rehearsing a show.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.84,0:06:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stopped to watch. A woman noticed me: "Are you looking for someone?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.84,0:07:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“No, maybe myself,” I replied, smiling. He invited me inside.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.80,0:07:08.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at the evidence. The actors who made mistakes, laughed, started again.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.40,0:07:16.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody was perfect. Nobody had to be. One of them asked me: "Do you work in the theater?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.72,0:07:24.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hesitated. "No, but I have often played a part." That evening, for the first time,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.04,0:07:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't feel like a symbol. And for the first time I thought:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.60,0:07:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe I'm not meant to be Pope. But how do you say this to the whole world?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.04,0:07:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 6 – The world waits
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.24,0:07:45.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meanwhile in the Vatican it was chaos. Television stations around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.24,0:07:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kept repeating: "The Pope has been elected,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.32,0:07:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he has not yet appeared. There was white smoke, but no blessing,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.40,0:08:01.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no name, no voice. Only silence." The cardinals were trying to protect the secret.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.08,0:08:05.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He's praying," they said. "He needs concentration."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.32,0:08:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But by now it was clear that something was wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.36,0:08:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I watched all this from a small room in a hotel near Trastevere.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.40,0:08:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The TV on. My face everywhere, even if blurred, stolen.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.48,0:08:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Journalists were looking for answers. The faithful prayed. Some were already disappointed.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.92,0:08:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I... I still didn't know what to do. I spoke to the
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.68,0:08:35.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,psychoanalyst every day, on the phone. I told him about the walks,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.64,0:08:40.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the laughter I heard among the actors, about the strange dreams I had.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.96,0:08:45.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What if I don't come back?" I asked him one evening. "What if you come back instead?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.36,0:08:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But as a man?" He replied.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.92,0:08:51.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That phrase stuck in my head for hours. As a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.64,0:08:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not as a symbol. Not as a mask.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.28,0:08:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But outside, meanwhile, time passed. And the world waited.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.32,0:09:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had chosen to escape. But now I had to choose whether to face.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.64,0:09:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 7 – The return
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.20,0:09:12.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I returned to the Vatican early one morning, as I had left: in silence.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.84,0:09:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody applauded me. Nobody hugged me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.00,0:09:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only low looks, sighs of relief and a lot of tension.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.32,0:09:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They welcomed me into a small room where the closest cardinals were waiting for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.28,0:09:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Words, decisions, a signal awaited me. But I didn't have anything ready yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.60,0:09:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“What do we have to say to the world?” one of them asked, trying to hide his anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.48,0:09:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at them. And for the first time I spoke with sincerity:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.76,0:09:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Say that the Pope needs time. Say that he is human."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.40,0:09:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Silence. Then some murmurs. Disappointment, perhaps.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.00,0:09:55.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But also respect. I asked to see my psychoanalyst,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.80,0:10:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this time inside the sacred walls. He came without hesitation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.24,0:10:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We sat across from each other, like old friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.52,0:10:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Have you decided, then?" he asked me. I nodded.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.84,0:10:16.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes. I've decided not to pretend anymore. And so… I'm not ready.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.24,0:10:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I never will be." He didn't answer.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.32,0:10:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just looked at me with a calm, almost serene look.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.36,0:10:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had found my voice. Now all that remained was to use it. In front of everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.04,0:10:36.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chapter 8 – Courage and truth
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.48,0:10:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That day the square was full again. Umbrellas. Hands clasped. Eyes
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.64,0:10:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fixed on that empty balcony. The cameras captured every detail.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.92,0:10:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The journalists talked about everything, just to fill the wait.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.20,0:10:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I, behind those red curtains, was breathing slowly. I was no longer afraid. I only had truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.16,0:11:02.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The master of ceremonies nodded to me. I could go out.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.32,0:11:07.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But not to become Pope. To tell the world that I wouldn't be.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.28,0:11:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I appeared. The entire square held its breath.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.36,0:11:14.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at that ocean of faces and felt small.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.72,0:11:18.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But finally real. I took the microphone.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.32,0:11:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Brothers and sisters," I began, my voice firm,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.92,0:11:26.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't do it. I can't accept the role of Pope.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.64,0:11:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because a Pope must believe, he must lead, he must speak with the voice of God.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.80,0:11:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only hear mine." A murmur. Then a long silence.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.60,0:11:42.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I continued: "I ask you for forgiveness.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.20,0:11:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also ask you to accept my humanity, my limits, my emptiness."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.60,0:11:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I lowered the microphone. The world wasn't ready.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.08,0:11:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I do. And in that moment, for the first time,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.24,0:12:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt a new strength within me: not to be Pope, but to be me.