Are you going to watch the Eurovvision Song Contest?

Nope

the whole thing is just ridiculous

i mean it used to be about the music now it's just this

circus

Well you'll be glad to know that

the book makers don't even think Ireland will get out of

the qualifiers

What?

Yeah

They're writing us off?

Well I guess so

Bit early for that isn't it?

Um...

What odds did they give the Brits?

Uh...

They don't have to

Why?

Well they're part of the big five who automatically qualify

Well that's not fair

Well

I don't care as long as Sweden don't win

Why Sweden?

Well if they win they'll knock us off the top spot

of being the most successful country

in the history of the competition

That's it

When do the phone lines open?

I thought you didn't care about the Eurovision?

An Irish woman

is in need

She's Norwegian

Pack your bags

We're going to Switzerland

You haven't even heard the song yet

I don't care about the song

I thought you said it should be about the music

It's not about the music

It's about winning

It's about Ireland

and sticking it to the big five

You didn't know who they were 5 minutes ago

but more importantly

it's about the misery

Misery?

This nation thrives

on misery

we won't support you if you're doing well in fact

we might even hate you for it

but when your back's against the wall

when you don't stand a chance

when there's no logical hope

of victory

by God

we'll be there

Like the Irish football team?

Ah I wouldn't watch them

They're shite

Doomdah

We are playing in Dublin in Vicer Street

that's right then we're hot tailing it all the way to New Zealand

and Australia for a few gigs there Perth and Auckland

are already sold out so

remaining tickets there slim on the ground

Come on Ireland

Go on Emmy you can do it

go on take it home

just get through the semi-finals anyway

Doomdah