You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark
cause we cut a path through MCs
like a walk in the park
then give 'em back a whole stack
of maps and accurate charts
showing exactly where our footprints
on their buttocks are marked
we're two traveling wordsmiths
spitting hotter than a furnace
and we'll own you on the mic
like the Louisiana Purchase
you're worthless
your future selves should'a told you that
now go back in time and give
Doctor Who his phone booth back
we discovered bears and beavers
and prairie dogs and weasels
rattlesnakes and catfish
owls, larks and eagles
and plus flora galore
and according to our observations
these two dickweeds right here
are severely endangered
we inspired pioneers
and travelers near and far
you inspired air guitar
and Dude Where's My Car
we conquered much greater dangers
in our trek through Mother Nature
so step off
but tell Bill's stepmom
don't be a stranger
Bill's mom is hot
but that joke was most heinous
I've heard better insults
drop from Socrates' anus
that's my step mom Ted
let's keep it excellent between us
and show these boy scouts
how it goes in San Dimas
we're quick when we spit
like Billy the Kid with his guns
and you'll be verbally kicked
in the nut-Sacagawea puns
a teen mom carried you and your troops
they should have let the baby lead
and put you in the papoose
and if those native dudes knew
what white dudes were gonna do
they woulda stopped you in Dakota
they should totally Sioux
why don't you go back to exploring
Napoleon's old swamps
or you'll discover your Corps
most triumphantly stomped
Did you hear that Meriwether?
I think they mean to brawl
I'll take Neo
I'll take the one that
no one knows at all
from the falls of Black Eagle
to the Pacific
we put the dis in dysentery
cause we spit sick...
without Rufus you'd be useless
on the trails we blazed
you couldn't navigate your way
out of a Circle K
send over Garth and Wayne
because you turkeys aren't worthy
suffering your raps is a
most bogus journey
Man they totally burned us
I feel like such a doofus
what do we do
I don't know
be excellent
Rufus!
he's right dude
we don't have to take this kind of abuse
from some Paul Bunyan dudes
in potato sack shoes
you rode a river one direction
we travel four dimensions
rescue bodacious babes
and get back for detention
I've seen your future Mr. Lewis
and I don't want to be rude
but spoiler alert
you totally kill yourself dude
so we offer you peace
with these resplendent medallions
and we claim this battle
for the Wyld Stallyns
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide