WEBVTT

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You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark

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cause we cut a path through MCs

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like a walk in the park

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then give 'em back a whole stack

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of maps and accurate charts

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showing exactly where our footprints

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on their buttocks are marked

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we're two traveling wordsmiths

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spitting hotter than a furnace

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and we'll own you on the mic

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like the Louisiana Purchase

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you're worthless

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your future selves should'a told you that

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now go back in time and give

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Doctor Who his phone booth back

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we discovered bears and beavers

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and prairie dogs and weasels

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rattlesnakes and catfish

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owls, larks and eagles

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and plus flora galore

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and according to our observations

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these two dickweeds right here

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are severely endangered

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we inspired pioneers

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and travelers near and far

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you inspired air guitar

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and Dude Where's My Car

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we conquered much greater dangers

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in our trek through Mother Nature

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so step off

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but tell Bill's stepmom

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don't be a stranger

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Bill's mom is hot

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but that joke was most heinous

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I've heard better insults

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drop from Socrates' anus

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that's my step mom Ted

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let's keep it excellent between us

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and show these boy scouts

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how it goes in San Dimas

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we're quick when we spit

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like Billy the Kid with his guns

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and you'll be verbally kicked

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in the nut-Sacagawea puns

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a teen mom carried you and your troops

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they should have let the baby lead

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and put you in the papoose

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and if those native dudes knew

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what white dudes were gonna do

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they woulda stopped you in Dakota

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they should totally Sioux

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why don't you go back to exploring

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Napoleon's old swamps

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or you'll discover your Corps

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most triumphantly stomped

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Did you hear that Meriwether?

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I think they mean to brawl

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I'll take Neo

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I'll take the one that

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no one knows at all

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from the falls of Black Eagle

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to the Pacific

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we put the dis in dysentery

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cause we spit sick...

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without Rufus you'd be useless

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on the trails we blazed

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you couldn't navigate your way

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out of a Circle K

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send over Garth and Wayne

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because you turkeys aren't worthy

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suffering your raps is a

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most bogus journey

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Man they totally burned us

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I feel like such a doofus

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what do we do

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I don't know

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be excellent

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Rufus!

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he's right dude

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we don't have to take this kind of abuse

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from some Paul Bunyan dudes

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in potato sack shoes

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you rode a river one direction

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we travel four dimensions

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rescue bodacious babes

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and get back for detention

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I've seen your future Mr. Lewis

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and I don't want to be rude

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but spoiler alert

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you totally kill yourself dude

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so we offer you peace

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with these resplendent medallions

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and we claim this battle

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for the Wyld Stallyns

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Who won?

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Who's next?

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You decide