0:00:02.460,0:00:05.093 (Music: "La Vie en Rose") 0:00:15.681,0:00:19.519 Cecily: Ah, well,[br]I feel rather frightened. 0:00:19.543,0:00:22.385 I'm so afraid he will look[br]just like everyone else. 0:00:22.409,0:00:23.861 (Algernon sniffs) 0:00:26.718,0:00:27.869 C: He does. 0:00:27.893,0:00:31.234 Algernon: You are my little[br]cousin Cecily, I'm sure. 0:00:31.258,0:00:33.577 C: You are under some grave mistake. 0:00:33.601,0:00:34.760 I'm not little. 0:00:34.784,0:00:38.863 In fact, I do believe I'm actually[br]more than usually tall for my age. 0:00:38.887,0:00:40.735 But I am your cousin Cecily, 0:00:40.759,0:00:43.776 and you, I see, are also here[br]helping Jo Michael Rezes 0:00:43.800,0:00:45.592 with their TEDx talk. 0:00:45.616,0:00:51.260 And you are my cousin Ernest,[br]my wicked cousin Ernest. 0:00:51.284,0:00:54.593 A: Oh! Well, I'm not really[br]wicked at all, cousin Cecily. 0:00:54.617,0:00:56.299 You mustn't think that I am wicked. 0:00:56.323,0:00:58.965 C: Well, I hope you haven't[br]been leading a double life, 0:00:58.989,0:01:02.309 pretending to be good[br]and being really wicked all the time. 0:01:02.333,0:01:03.760 That would be hypocrisy. 0:01:03.784,0:01:07.125 A: Well, of course,[br]I have been rather reckless. 0:01:07.149,0:01:08.769 C: I am glad to hear it. 0:01:09.720,0:01:13.063 A: But the world is good enough[br]for me, cousin Cecily. 0:01:13.087,0:01:15.634 C: Yes, but are you good enough for it? 0:01:15.658,0:01:17.602 A: I'm afraid I am not that. 0:01:17.626,0:01:19.571 That's why I want you to reform me. 0:01:19.595,0:01:21.989 C: Well, I'm afraid[br]I have no time this afternoon. 0:01:22.013,0:01:24.203 The TED talk and all. 0:01:24.227,0:01:25.403 (Laughter) 0:01:25.427,0:01:28.366 A: Well, would you mind[br]my reforming myself this afternoon? 0:01:28.390,0:01:30.339 C: Oh, that's rather quixotic of you, 0:01:30.363,0:01:31.815 but I think you should try. 0:01:31.839,0:01:34.064 A: Good. I feel better already. 0:01:34.088,0:01:35.737 C: You're looking a little worse. 0:01:35.761,0:01:39.403 A: Well, might I have that pink rose? 0:01:39.427,0:01:40.578 C: Why? 0:01:40.602,0:01:43.197 A: Because you are[br]like a pink rose, cousin Cecily. 0:01:43.221,0:01:45.502 C: Well, I don't think[br]it could be right for you 0:01:45.526,0:01:46.694 to talk to me like that. 0:01:46.718,0:01:49.351 A: You are the prettiest girl I ever saw. 0:01:49.375,0:01:52.581 C: But -- well, I -- I -- 0:01:52.605,0:01:54.513 A: And, and ahem -- 0:01:54.537,0:01:57.616 C: All good looks are a snare and -- 0:01:57.640,0:02:00.238 A: Well, it's a snare[br]that every sensible man 0:02:00.262,0:02:02.283 would like to be caught in, and ... 0:02:02.982,0:02:04.402 Jo Michael Rezes: (Sighs) 0:02:06.680,0:02:09.184 I'm so sorry, I um -- 0:02:11.053,0:02:13.259 I didn't finish rehearsing. 0:02:14.104,0:02:17.028 Um, well it's not because[br]I can't walk in heels, 0:02:17.052,0:02:18.635 I'm actually really good at that, 0:02:18.659,0:02:21.492 and I can prove it to you, too,[br]but I really am sorry. 0:02:21.516,0:02:22.881 Hold on. 0:02:24.993,0:02:26.445 Uh, um. 0:02:29.255,0:02:30.405 No matter. 0:02:30.906,0:02:32.056 No matter. 0:02:32.874,0:02:34.024 Right. 0:02:34.390,0:02:35.855 Right, introductions. 0:02:35.879,0:02:37.559 It's a TEDx talk. Right. 0:02:38.664,0:02:41.332 Hi, there! (Laughs) Um. 0:02:41.990,0:02:43.830 My name is Jo Michael Rezes, 0:02:43.854,0:02:47.763 and I'm a PhD student here[br]in theater and performance studies. 0:02:48.347,0:02:51.204 And I specialize in the study[br]of queer identities 0:02:51.228,0:02:54.410 as they maneuver and affect[br]the perceptions of time 0:02:54.434,0:02:56.234 in the performance of camp. 0:02:56.956,0:02:58.700 You know camp? 0:03:00.036,0:03:03.186 Sincerity in irony's clothing? 0:03:03.210,0:03:05.599 Making the kitsch feel like home? 0:03:05.623,0:03:06.774 No? 0:03:06.798,0:03:08.149 The Met Gala theme from 2019 0:03:08.173,0:03:11.685 that was thoroughly misunderstood[br]by over 95 percent of its attendees? 0:03:11.709,0:03:12.719 (Laughter) 0:03:12.743,0:03:13.895 No? OK, anyway. 0:03:13.919,0:03:16.754 I'm also an actor-director[br]and theater educator at large 0:03:16.778,0:03:18.109 in the greater Boston area. 0:03:18.133,0:03:20.188 Oh, and where are my manners? 0:03:20.212,0:03:23.140 The friends I brought with me today[br]are Algernon and Cecily 0:03:23.164,0:03:25.640 from Oscar Wilde's famously[br]well-known play, 0:03:25.664,0:03:27.656 "The Importance of Being Earnest." 0:03:27.680,0:03:29.306 And they'll be back, don't worry. 0:03:29.330,0:03:30.902 I've only scared them off a bit. 0:03:30.926,0:03:32.130 And let's be honest, 0:03:33.092,0:03:34.349 it wouldn't be a TEDx talk 0:03:34.373,0:03:36.965 without things wrapping up nicely[br]at the end, would it? 0:03:36.989,0:03:38.139 (Laughter) 0:03:39.246,0:03:42.380 You know, I hope[br]that wasn't too awful, though. 0:03:42.404,0:03:44.817 It was awkward, I know, to watch me fail. 0:03:45.237,0:03:47.714 To fail at what, exactly, though? 0:03:48.061,0:03:51.633 To play a man and a woman[br]at the same time? 0:03:51.657,0:03:54.585 I mean, to play a man and a woman[br]when I'm actually neither? 0:03:55.125,0:03:59.363 Why does it feel so awkward[br]when we see someone fail at gender, 0:03:59.387,0:04:00.772 and why do we care? 0:04:00.796,0:04:04.033 I mean, obviously, me screwing this up[br]was done on purpose. 0:04:04.057,0:04:06.343 Obviously, I had this all[br]perfectly memorized 0:04:06.367,0:04:08.498 and rehearsed for today, right? 0:04:08.522,0:04:09.704 Right? 0:04:09.728,0:04:10.729 (Laughter) 0:04:10.753,0:04:14.210 Well, I'm here today to talk about[br]gender performativity 0:04:14.234,0:04:16.805 and the ways in which I've used[br]my acting classroom 0:04:16.829,0:04:20.847 as a space to disrupt the finality[br]of gender performance, 0:04:20.871,0:04:25.170 to open up a looser space[br]for thinking about gender identity 0:04:25.194,0:04:27.368 through supportive failure, 0:04:27.392,0:04:30.542 generous mistakes[br]and honest communication. 0:04:30.566,0:04:32.820 We all, actors or otherwise, 0:04:32.844,0:04:35.864 can play with gender[br]in our everyday lives. 0:04:35.888,0:04:39.237 And I call this "gender rehearsativity." 0:04:39.261,0:04:43.872 Now, before all of the queer theorists[br]and women's studies degree holders 0:04:43.896,0:04:45.930 and Judith Butler fanatics in the audience 0:04:45.954,0:04:50.771 start to tear the half-and-half,[br]hyperbinary costume off of my body, 0:04:50.795,0:04:52.887 let me first explain where popular culture 0:04:52.911,0:04:56.188 has already begun to misunderstand[br]gender performativity, 0:04:56.212,0:04:59.910 before I move into[br]the rehearsativity I hold so dear. 0:05:01.053,0:05:02.459 Now, as an educator 0:05:02.483,0:05:05.640 and as a youngish[br]20-something-year-old trans person, 0:05:05.664,0:05:08.977 I'm constantly hearing from my[br]20-something-year-old students, 0:05:09.001,0:05:10.163 friends and colleagues 0:05:10.187,0:05:12.441 that gender is "over" -- 0:05:12.465,0:05:15.727 that gender is so fluid and carefree 0:05:15.751,0:05:19.933 and that society, film and television[br]are so inclusive of transgender people, 0:05:19.957,0:05:22.395 that it's basically over. 0:05:22.419,0:05:26.434 Now, I don't ascribe to the binary,[br]as a nonbinary person myself. 0:05:27.133,0:05:29.521 But gender definitely isn't over. 0:05:29.950,0:05:32.593 Or, at least I don't think it is. 0:05:32.617,0:05:37.570 And maybe, just maybe,[br]gender is always beginning. 0:05:38.077,0:05:39.586 This last semester, 0:05:39.610,0:05:43.006 at roughly 10:23am, 0:05:43.030,0:05:44.355 two of my acting students, 0:05:44.379,0:05:47.791 while embodying delicious caricatures[br]of fraternity brothers -- 0:05:47.815,0:05:50.172 forgive me, I don't remember[br]his or his name -- 0:05:50.196,0:05:52.039 well, they rounded up the class, 0:05:52.063,0:05:55.507 and these two women in snapbacks[br]and baggy clothing 0:05:55.531,0:06:00.673 slacked their mouths to reveal lax jaws[br]and lax bro mentalities. 0:06:01.633,0:06:04.240 And, astounding as it was to watch, 0:06:05.061,0:06:10.720 these women fluctuated[br]between irony and satire, 0:06:10.744,0:06:15.942 the uncanny and the ruthlessly so,[br]pain and joy, until ultimately 0:06:15.966,0:06:18.904 they failed to be the men[br]they were choosing to embody. 0:06:19.514,0:06:21.380 They simply stopped talking. 0:06:22.109,0:06:23.393 Silence. 0:06:23.417,0:06:24.593 A lull hit the class, 0:06:24.617,0:06:27.807 and time seemed to be[br]sucked clean out of the room. 0:06:27.831,0:06:30.752 And in this moment of loud stillness, 0:06:30.776,0:06:31.938 one of the women, 0:06:32.863,0:06:37.122 still using her frat bro voice[br]though fully out of character, 0:06:37.146,0:06:38.730 said, nearly in a whisper, 0:06:40.037,0:06:43.409 (In frat bro voice)[br]"Gender is a social construct." 0:06:43.851,0:06:45.176 (Laughter) 0:06:45.200,0:06:48.962 I'll admit: I laughed along[br]with my students that morning, 0:06:48.986,0:06:52.557 partially at the comedic timing[br]that my student had in her delivery 0:06:52.581,0:06:57.570 but also at the fact that society[br]has turned gender performativity 0:06:57.594,0:07:00.486 into gender as social construct. 0:07:00.510,0:07:02.110 Now, listen to this: 0:07:02.704,0:07:06.688 I think that this idea has come[br]from renowned queer studies scholar 0:07:06.712,0:07:07.863 Judith Butler, 0:07:07.887,0:07:10.468 whose seminal work[br]in the performativity of gender 0:07:10.492,0:07:12.133 has gone on to be a staple 0:07:12.157,0:07:15.410 in undergraduate classrooms[br]at liberal arts institutions. 0:07:15.434,0:07:18.132 Now, this SparkNotes version[br]of Butler's work 0:07:18.156,0:07:23.918 is found in the idea that gender exists[br]in repeated words and actions. 0:07:23.942,0:07:27.114 And these performatives create[br]and are created 0:07:27.138,0:07:29.418 by the bodies of real human beings. 0:07:29.442,0:07:30.633 Now, listen to this: 0:07:30.657,0:07:33.268 "Moreover, in a 1988 essay, 0:07:33.292,0:07:39.394 Butler claims that gender is an act[br]which has been rehearsed. 0:07:40.022,0:07:41.212 In this way, 0:07:41.236,0:07:45.831 gender through repetition[br]becomes a recognizable script, 0:07:45.855,0:07:49.089 which requires actors to reproduce it." 0:07:49.113,0:07:50.264 Huh. 0:07:50.288,0:07:55.181 Much like my attempt[br]at "The Importance of Being Earnest." 0:07:55.205,0:07:57.117 Ooh, I mean -- look at my costume. 0:07:57.141,0:08:01.169 (In a deep voice) Why does this half[br]make me feel manly, masculine, suave, 0:08:01.193,0:08:04.954 (In a high voice) and this half makes me[br]feel girly, fabulous and feminine? 0:08:04.978,0:08:08.330 I mean, some of us even forget[br]that gender is there, 0:08:08.354,0:08:11.391 because it is so well-rehearsed[br]into our bodies. 0:08:12.002,0:08:15.978 But there's always an ideal of gender[br]that we can never quite achieve. 0:08:16.537,0:08:18.750 But it's up to us to play with it. 0:08:19.125,0:08:22.720 Now, I've played with gender[br]throughout my own career as an actor, 0:08:22.744,0:08:25.142 and in one semester[br]as an undergraduate student, 0:08:25.166,0:08:27.992 I was cast in two roles simultaneously: 0:08:28.016,0:08:30.297 Brad Majors in "The Rocky Horror Show," 0:08:30.321,0:08:33.785 and Charlotte Ivanovna[br]in "The Cherry Orchard." 0:08:33.809,0:08:37.492 One man, one woman and one me. 0:08:38.652,0:08:40.707 I would go from one rehearsal, 0:08:40.731,0:08:43.954 playing the manly, aggressive Brad, 0:08:43.978,0:08:46.940 only to be pulled,[br]moments later, into a wig 0:08:46.964,0:08:51.823 and delicately blended eyeliner[br]as Charlotte, a German governess. 0:08:52.363,0:08:55.006 The constant push and pull[br]of these identities 0:08:55.030,0:08:58.387 was not only invaluable[br]to my work as an actor, 0:08:58.411,0:09:02.164 attempting to span the spectrum[br]of gender in my work, 0:09:02.188,0:09:03.871 but it also revealed to me 0:09:03.895,0:09:06.196 that my own queer identities 0:09:06.220,0:09:10.418 are deeply indebted to embodying[br]the extremes of gender. 0:09:11.152,0:09:14.910 These characters held important[br]facets of my identities, 0:09:14.934,0:09:16.339 of my body, 0:09:16.363,0:09:17.848 my daily pain, 0:09:17.872,0:09:20.807 of my social interactions, of my memories, 0:09:20.831,0:09:25.736 and rehearsing these characters[br]allowed me to explore those identities, 0:09:25.760,0:09:29.212 which has opened up my need[br]as an acting teacher 0:09:29.236,0:09:32.656 to show the importance[br]of playing with gender in rehearsal. 0:09:33.507,0:09:36.088 So when I present to you all 0:09:36.112,0:09:37.263 (In a high voice) Cecily 0:09:37.287,0:09:38.858 and (In a deep voice) Algernon, 0:09:38.882,0:09:42.956 there are these parts[br]of these two characters that I respect, 0:09:42.980,0:09:44.530 understand implicitly, 0:09:44.554,0:09:47.422 oppressions I can relate to,[br]fears I can embody, 0:09:47.446,0:09:49.979 aggressive tendencies[br]that I try to forget. 0:09:50.649,0:09:53.418 But there are also[br]plenty of characteristics 0:09:53.442,0:09:56.434 with which I have no personal experience, 0:09:56.458,0:09:58.049 nothing I can draw from. 0:09:58.073,0:10:01.706 And sometimes in a flurry of rehearsal, 0:10:01.730,0:10:03.181 of reading a script, 0:10:03.205,0:10:04.745 of creating a character, 0:10:04.769,0:10:07.525 well ... we make a mistake. 0:10:08.466,0:10:11.247 Algernon's aggressive[br]flirtation towards Cecily 0:10:11.271,0:10:12.660 doesn't sit well in my body, 0:10:12.684,0:10:16.372 or Cecily's calm demeanor[br]as written by Oscar Wilde, 0:10:16.396,0:10:18.108 just doesn't sit right, 0:10:18.132,0:10:19.812 and I literally trip up. 0:10:20.538,0:10:22.949 Now, this TEDx talk is a performance 0:10:22.973,0:10:26.711 in front of so many people. 0:10:26.735,0:10:29.925 And it differs quite drastically[br]from my classrooms in that regard. 0:10:29.949,0:10:34.043 But there is such a recognizable[br]pressure in our daily lives 0:10:34.067,0:10:36.201 to perform our gender, 0:10:36.225,0:10:37.488 our selves, 0:10:37.512,0:10:39.591 on a stage like this. 0:10:40.997,0:10:42.156 Quite frankly, 0:10:42.180,0:10:45.572 failure to pass as a man[br]or a woman effectively 0:10:45.596,0:10:48.854 is still dangerous for transgender[br]and gender nonconforming people. 0:10:49.283,0:10:50.870 And listen to this: 0:10:50.894,0:10:54.149 according to the 2015[br]US Transgender Survey, 0:10:54.173,0:10:56.298 nearly half of respondents voiced 0:10:56.322,0:10:58.848 that they had been verbally[br]harassed in the past year 0:10:58.872,0:11:01.459 because of their gender[br]identity or expression. 0:11:01.483,0:11:05.039 And that number is shown[br]only to increase in communities of color. 0:11:05.500,0:11:11.419 Many of us now claim to view gender[br]on a spectrum -- and that's great -- 0:11:11.443,0:11:14.214 including 60 percent[br]of Generation Z individuals 0:11:14.238,0:11:16.737 who reported to the Pew[br]Research Center in 2019 0:11:16.761,0:11:20.163 that they believe forms with boxes[br]for "male" or "female" 0:11:20.187,0:11:22.147 should include more gender options. 0:11:22.854,0:11:24.458 But in spite of this, 0:11:24.482,0:11:28.528 there is still latent fear[br]of making gender mistakes 0:11:28.552,0:11:30.933 in offices, in classrooms, 0:11:30.957,0:11:32.504 in the eyes of the government, 0:11:32.528,0:11:34.266 in romantic situations, 0:11:34.290,0:11:36.123 and for some of us, 0:11:36.147,0:11:38.880 even in the mirror[br]when we wake up in the morning. 0:11:39.973,0:11:44.044 But our gender mistakes[br]have the potential for something good. 0:11:44.687,0:11:45.950 Even in the binary, 0:11:45.974,0:11:48.371 approaching life on the stage[br]as a man or a woman, 0:11:48.395,0:11:51.371 we can support each other[br]in experimentation, 0:11:51.395,0:11:52.655 trips and stumbles, 0:11:52.679,0:11:54.672 two-hour-long meditations on 0:11:54.696,0:11:57.006 or five-second costume[br]changes with gender. 0:11:57.030,0:11:59.045 And failure is a key part 0:11:59.069,0:12:01.522 of Judith Butler's theory[br]of performativity. 0:12:01.546,0:12:03.799 But I do believe that for most people, 0:12:03.823,0:12:05.177 like you all out there, 0:12:05.201,0:12:09.386 you might hear "performativity"[br]and hear "perform." 0:12:09.780,0:12:12.050 That's to say, performance-ready 0:12:12.074,0:12:14.121 or if not performance-ready, 0:12:14.145,0:12:18.355 perhaps performance in general[br]gives you anxiety. 0:12:18.379,0:12:21.876 Or the stage fright that I have[br]to this very day. 0:12:23.075,0:12:26.201 What we need to understand[br]is that failing at gender 0:12:26.225,0:12:30.384 can and should be a positive,[br]generative process. 0:12:30.750,0:12:33.956 The mistakes we make with gender[br]can only help us grow 0:12:33.980,0:12:37.541 and better understand the multitudes[br]of gender around us. 0:12:37.565,0:12:40.465 But we need to make space[br]for these mistakes. 0:12:40.818,0:12:43.421 We need to hold space for failure. 0:12:44.138,0:12:47.146 And that's where rehearsativity[br]comes into play. 0:12:47.836,0:12:51.463 Now, one of the main points[br]I like to make with my acting students 0:12:51.487,0:12:55.125 when they're last-minute panicking[br]about a monologue or a scene, 0:12:55.149,0:12:58.331 is that no one is ever actually ready. 0:12:59.268,0:13:02.369 I mean, we're never actually[br]done rehearsing, 0:13:02.393,0:13:05.099 we're just put in front of an audience. 0:13:05.915,0:13:08.718 When I taught a workshop[br]on gender-bending this last summer 0:13:08.742,0:13:10.662 at Somerville Arts for Youth, 0:13:10.686,0:13:14.057 I made it quite clear[br]to a group of middle school-aged students 0:13:14.081,0:13:17.686 that you cannot be a bully[br]and a good actor at the same time. 0:13:18.247,0:13:19.444 It's impossible. 0:13:19.835,0:13:22.002 There is something[br]about the act of embodiment 0:13:22.026,0:13:25.083 that requires empathy to survive. 0:13:26.416,0:13:29.494 Bullying prohibits the creative process. 0:13:29.995,0:13:32.828 As these middle schoolers[br]moved about the room, 0:13:32.852,0:13:36.859 trying on the extremes[br]of binary gender presentation, 0:13:38.049,0:13:40.783 this dissolved into galumphing, 0:13:41.775,0:13:43.117 laughter, 0:13:43.141,0:13:47.795 parodying of stereotypes[br]they see in movies and on television, 0:13:47.819,0:13:51.297 joy in the failure to understand gender. 0:13:52.858,0:13:56.081 Even my college students,[br]in "Introduction to Acting," 0:13:56.105,0:13:59.210 jumped on the opportunity[br]to play with gender 0:13:59.234,0:14:01.172 when I restricted their time to think. 0:14:01.196,0:14:02.371 On Halloween last year, 0:14:02.395,0:14:04.625 I asked my students[br]to come to class in costume 0:14:04.649,0:14:09.450 and to, well, to throw their hats[br]into the middle of a circle, 0:14:09.474,0:14:11.323 metaphorically and literally, 0:14:11.347,0:14:12.992 and the only rule of the game 0:14:13.016,0:14:15.743 was that they had to go[br]into the center of the circle, 0:14:15.767,0:14:17.585 take on a hat, pick a character, 0:14:17.609,0:14:19.125 and then switch. 0:14:19.149,0:14:21.093 No time to think. 0:14:21.962,0:14:24.150 And it wasn't until two men in the class 0:14:24.174,0:14:26.626 noticed no one running[br]to the center of the circle 0:14:26.650,0:14:28.396 that they jumped into the center, 0:14:28.420,0:14:29.925 and one became 0:14:29.949,0:14:31.831 (In a deep voice) a British chauvinist, 0:14:31.855,0:14:35.479 (In a high voice) and the other,[br]a high-pitched, coy British lady. 0:14:38.284,0:14:40.704 Time stood still. 0:14:41.478,0:14:43.010 Laughter, 0:14:43.034,0:14:44.319 mimicry, 0:14:44.343,0:14:46.081 joy, again, 0:14:46.105,0:14:48.787 in the failure to understand gender. 0:14:49.843,0:14:53.190 That's the potential[br]of gender rehearsativity. 0:14:54.588,0:14:56.128 And I challenge you all 0:14:57.089,0:14:59.822 to think of your days as mini-rehearsals. 0:15:00.255,0:15:05.317 Cultivate spaces in your life[br]to explore gender. 0:15:05.778,0:15:09.190 And allow other people[br]to explore their gender. 0:15:09.214,0:15:11.007 Fail at gender. 0:15:11.532,0:15:15.182 I wish I could give you more tangible ways[br]to go out and do this. 0:15:16.273,0:15:18.765 But gender is funny like that. 0:15:20.742,0:15:25.091 Gender is an act which has been rehearsed. 0:15:26.004,0:15:29.628 Some acts more rehearsed[br]than others. (Laughs) 0:15:31.680,0:15:34.146 But gender is far from being perfect. 0:15:35.259,0:15:36.444 And sometimes, 0:15:37.371,0:15:38.833 just like in rehearsal, 0:15:39.855,0:15:43.664 when we support each other[br]in times of play, 0:15:43.688,0:15:46.365 in times of joy and times of pain, 0:15:47.736,0:15:53.003 we wind up succeeding more[br]than if we hadn't tried or failed at all. 0:15:53.698,0:15:58.214 A: Well, I think[br]that has been a great success. 0:15:58.238,0:16:01.095 I'm in love with Cecily,[br]and that is everything. 0:16:01.119,0:16:03.722 But I must see her before I go. 0:16:04.879,0:16:08.284 Oh, there she is. 0:16:08.308,0:16:11.109 C: Oh, I merely came back[br]to water the roses. 0:16:11.133,0:16:14.228 I thought we were at a TEDx talk with Jo. 0:16:14.252,0:16:15.442 A: Oh. 0:16:15.466,0:16:18.222 Well, they've gone to order[br]the dogcart for me. 0:16:18.615,0:16:19.910 C: Oh. 0:16:19.934,0:16:22.093 Are they going to take you[br]for a nice drive? 0:16:22.117,0:16:24.466 A: They're going to send me away. 0:16:24.490,0:16:25.704 C: Oh. 0:16:25.728,0:16:27.482 So we have to part. 0:16:27.506,0:16:29.299 A: I'm afraid so. 0:16:29.323,0:16:31.426 It's a very painful parting. 0:16:32.482,0:16:37.107 C: Well, the absence of old friends[br]one can endure with equanimity. 0:16:38.498,0:16:40.524 But even a momentary separation 0:16:40.548,0:16:44.317 from anyone whom they've just met 0:16:45.675,0:16:47.941 is almost unbearable. 0:16:51.548,0:16:52.748 JMR: Thank you. 0:16:55.499,0:16:59.499 (Applause)