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People hate me.

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People fear me.

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You see, I'm a communication professor.

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And these people who fear me and hate me

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are some of the brightest, most creative,
most entrepreneurial people I know.

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I wield a tool.

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And that tool I wield
is what makes them fear and despise me.

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As a professor, I have the ability
to do what's called "cold calling."

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That's where I look at a student
and say, "What do you think?

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What do you feel
about what we just discussed?

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How does this impact you?"

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And this causes panic,

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not just for my students
but for everybody:

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that moment where we are called upon
to speak articulately.

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Can we do it?

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Now, rest assured,
I never cold call on my students.

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I think it's rude, and I know it's hard.

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But people fear it.

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Eighty-five percent of people
say they fear speaking in public.

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And quite frankly,
I think the other 15% are lying.

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I think we could find a situation
that makes them nervous too.

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So today, my goal is to share with you
some tips and techniques that you can use

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to help you be more comfortable
and confident when you're speaking,

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in other words, to be able
to think fast and talk smart.

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To do this, we're going to look
at four different steps.

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First, we're going to talk
about the approach we take.

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Then, we'll speak
about the audience we talk to,

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the context in which we find ourselves

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and finally, the structures we use
to help our messages get across.

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So, let's start by talking about approach.

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You know, I was reminded
about the importance of approach

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many, many years ago, when my wife
and I first moved in with each other.

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You see, we fought a lot
over little things,

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things mostly that happened
in our bathrooms.

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We called these our bathroom brawls:

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"Is the toilet seat up?"

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"Is the toilet seat down?"

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By far, the biggest fight
my wife and I ever had

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was over toothpaste.

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(Laughter)

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You see, my wife's a roller,
and I'm a squeezer.

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And all of you out there who are rollers,

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I appreciate the fine artwork
you create out of your toothpaste.

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But you know that the most awful thing
that can happen to you

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is to have a squeezer come by
and ruin all that effort you've put in.

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But to me, getting toothpaste
out of a tube is an act of aggression.

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I feel powerful in the morning
and in the evening.

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(Laughter)

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And we would fight incessantly
over little things like this.

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And finally, my wife,
who is much smarter than I,

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said, "Timeout. What are we doing here?
We've just been married.

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We love each other,
yet we're fighting all the time.

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We need to look at this differently."

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And as soon as we started looking
at our bathroom brawls

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as opportunities -

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opportunities to learn about each other,
to make concessions, to collaborate -

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things changed.

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And I'm happy to say,
after 15 years of marriage,

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we no longer fight over toothpaste.

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(Laughter)

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This same approach
is true in communication.

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Most of us, when we are in situations
where we need to communicate,

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we see them as threatening.

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We see them as opportunities for failure.

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And I'd like to suggest
that we need to change that.

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We need to approach
communication in an open way,

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see it as an opportunity to share
our ideas, our beliefs, our innovations.

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And when we take
a perspective of openness,

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all of a sudden, something that we dread

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becomes something that we embrace.

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So, the first step
to effective communication

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is to approach it in an open way.

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But that's not enough.

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We need to think about the audience
that we're speaking to.

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And to me, the way to approach it
is the opposite the way most people do.

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Most of us think about,
"Here's what I want to say"

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or, "Here's what I need to say."

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I would suggest that's exactly wrong.

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You need to think about,
"What does my audience need to hear?"

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And it sounds just like verbal jiu jitsu,
where I'm moving words around,

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but in fact, it's
a fundamental difference.

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If I ask myself,
"What does my audience need,"

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it puts me in service of my audience.

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It's about their needs.

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And in order to understand those needs,
I have to do some reconnaissance.

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I have to ask myself who they are.

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The three things I think we need
to ask about our audience are,

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"What is their knowledge?"

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"What is it that they know?"

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and if they don't know enough,

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"What can we do
to scaffold that information

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so that they have the tools they need?"

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In addition to knowledge,

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we need to be thinking
about their expectations.

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And by expectations, I mean,
What is it that they expect of me?

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Most audiences have heard the types
of presentations you're giving:

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maybe it's a pitch,

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maybe it's some kind
of advertisement or marketing,

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maybe it's a TED talk.

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Your audience has heard
those kinds of presentations before,

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so what do they expect of you?

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And then you can choose to conform
to those expectations or not.

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You know, I have two young kids,

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and I learned that sometimes
violating their expectations

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actually is the most effective thing
I can do for the communication we need.

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My boys sometimes make me upset.

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And when they make me upset,
I used to raise my voice to no avail.

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Nothing happened.

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I was ignored.

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And that's tough for a communication guy.

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So, what I started to do -

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when I'm really upset with my boys,

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I lower my voice.

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And they stop dead in their tracks.

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Violating expectations sometimes
can actually help you as a communicator.

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The final thing we need to think about is,
"What are their attitudes?"

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The way you approach your communication

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is influenced by what your audience
thinks about what you're talking on:

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Are they in favor of it?
Are they against it?

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Or they're hesitant? Agnostic?

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Those are the things you need to be asking
yourself when you communicate.

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So, we need to appreciate our audience.

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When my older child
was in kindergarten, I volunteered.

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I came into his classroom,

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the teacher had to leave
to take a call or something,

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and I was in charge of an art project.

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Oh, was that a mistake.

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The kids were running around.

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I was saying, "Stop this, Johnny."
"Sally, stop doing that."

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Nobody listened.

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The Yoda-like teacher returned,

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saw the chaos that had ensued
in her brief absence

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and simply looked at the children

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and started rewarding
the positive behavior.

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"Janet," she said, "what a lovely way
you've cleaned up your crayons."

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"Samuel, thank you so much
for walking with the scissors."

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(Laughter)

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The students stopped in their tracks,
changed their behavior.

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I learned then that you need to understand
your audience and what they need.

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And to this day,
I try to apply those principles.

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I also learned that I could never teach
elementary school students.

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If guilt and shame doesn't work,
I can't teach them.

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(Laughter)

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So, knowing your audience really matters.

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But beyond knowing your audience,

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you have to appreciate the context
in which you speak.

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Whenever you speak,
you are in a particular context.

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And to me, context comes
in a bunch of different varieties.

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The first thing about context
we need to think about is the time.

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What time of day are you communicating?

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If you're talking early in the morning,

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you might have to have
a little more energy

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to keep people moving.

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Same thing after lunch when people
are having that food coma experience.

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I taught high school many, many years ago.

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And I don't think my principal
liked me very much

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because she gave me freshmen
right before lunch and right after lunch.

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And if you know anything
about 14- and 15-year-old kids,

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they need lots of food
and lots of social experience.

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So, by the time my first class of freshmen
came to me after four hours of class,

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they were dead tired.

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They could barely move, let alone think.

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Right after lunch,
when my second batch joined me,

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they were amped-up on their food,
their caffeine, their friends.

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It was a frenzy in my classroom.

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And I had to teach them the same thing.

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How did I do it?

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I changed the way we approached the class.

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The class before lunch
was highly collaborative,

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people were moving around,
lots of activities;

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after lunch, a little more mellow.

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You must address the context, the timing
so your message can be effective.

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Context also involves emotion.

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Most of us when we communicate,
we think about information:

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What's in my head, in my heart
I need to communicate to you?

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But we also communicate a feeling.

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Maybe we're trying to get people
excited and motivate them.

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Maybe we're trying to scare them,

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create that burning platform
that motivates them to change.

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Sometimes, we're just trying
to instill confidence:

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You should believe in what I'm saying.

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But we need to think about the emotion
as well as the information.

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The final bit of context has to do with
where you're physically speaking.

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Location matters.

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Just the other day,
I read in the newspaper

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that the Girl Scout in the state
of California this year

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who sold the most cookies during
the Girl Scout's annual cookie drive

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set up shop in front
of a medical marijuana dispensary.

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She sold more cookies than anybody.

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Location matters.

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Think about the way the room is set up.


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Think about the environment:
Is it live? Is it virtual?

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Those change the way that you communicate.

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We need to think about location.

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So, our approach is important.


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Our audience is important.

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The context in which
we find ourselves is important

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and so too is the way
we structure our messages.

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It is much easier for humans to understand
information when it is structured.

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In fact, we remember information
up to 40% better when it's structured.

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What do I mean by this?

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Some of you listening
are too young to remember,

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but those of us of my age,

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when we wanted to call
somebody on the phone,

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we actually had to remember
a phone number.

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My kids today, they look
at a picture, push a button,

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and the other person
starts talking on the phone.

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We had it much harder.


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We had to remember 10 digits.

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Ten digits are hard to remember,
so what did we do?

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We put them in a structure:
three-three-and four.

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That's how we remembered.

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That's what I mean by a structure.

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The information is put in a way
that it makes it easy

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not only for you as a speaker
but also for the audience to remember.

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Now, I have lots of favorite structures.

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You see some of the structures
up here behind me.

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The first structure is a chronological
structure: past-present-future.

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Here's how things used to be.

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Here's how they are today.

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Here's where they're going in the future.

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A chronological structure
can really help you

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navigate your audience
from one place to the next.

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Quite frankly,
structure sets expectations.

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You can't be lost if you have a map.


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Your structure provides a map,

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and the chronological structure
is incredibly helpful for that.

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The next structure happens to be
the problem-solution-benefit structure.

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This is one of the most
persuasive structures out there.

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You start by explaining what the issue is,

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you talk about how to solve it
and then the benefits to the people.

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Finally, my favorite structure,
the one that I use the most -

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I call this "the MacGyver
of all structures";

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this can get you through any situation -

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is the what, so-what, now-what structure.

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You start by telling people
what the issue is.

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You tell them why it's important
in that so-what step.

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And then you tell them
what's next, what's coming.

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It's like a Swiss Army knife.

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You can use it in situations
if you're teaching.

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You can use it if you are trying
to motivate people.

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And you can use it
even if you're introducing somebody.

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Change the "what" to a "who,"
and you've got your introduction.

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Structure helps keep your audience
together and in line.

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When I was an undergraduate,
I was a tour guide.

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It was the highest-paying job on campus.

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And boy, did I need money.

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I trained for 12 weeks to be a tour guide.

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I learned lots of interesting - some would
say useless - facts about my university,

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things they drilled into our heads
besides how to walk backwards,

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which to this day I still can do
in a straight line.

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The most important thing they taught us -

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they said, "Above all else,

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to be a great tour guide
at this institution

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is to never lose your audience.

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You are a bad tour guide
if your tour group gets lost."

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The same is true when you're speaking.

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Structure keeps people together.

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We need structure.

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So, we see here that these tools,

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the tools that help us get our audience
engaged and involved

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and help us convey our message

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are the same tools that helped my students
learn to love speaking

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and learn to do it well.

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It's about the approach you take,

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the audience,

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the context,

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and the structure.

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Now, I'm always looking for examples
of this to help people understand.

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And the other day, I was eating breakfast,

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and I looked across the table
at my soy milk,

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and I said, "You know what?
This is a great example."

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Think about it: Silk soy milk.

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Silk soy milk is targeted
to a very specific audience:

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people who are interested
in eating healthy

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or people who are lactose intolerant.

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The name is a combination
of the words "soy" and "milk" -

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"Silk."

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It speaks to the audience's desire

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to have something rich,
something expensive, something yummy.

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It's at a time, in a context,
in an environment.

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If you notice where you buy Silk soy milk,
it's next to other milk.

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That's not where it was originally.

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It used to be in the health food aisle.

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Now it's next to milk.

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They marketed it and boxed it
the way milk is.

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The structure of the name
is very compelling.

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Let's face it, they
could have called it "Moy,"

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and nobody would've bought it, right?

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So, if you get the message right
and you communicate it effectively,

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you can make a big difference.

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So, I want for you what I wish
for all of my students:

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bold communication
that's confident and compelling.

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And I want for your message to echo
long after you leave the room.

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And these are skills
that are at your disposal.

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It just takes practice
and a little bit of a positive approach.

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Thank you.