WEBVTT 00:00:03.805 --> 00:00:05.134 People hate me. 00:00:05.924 --> 00:00:07.164 People fear me. 00:00:08.414 --> 00:00:11.634 You see, I'm a communication professor. 00:00:12.194 --> 00:00:15.086 And these people who fear me and hate me 00:00:15.176 --> 00:00:21.096 are some of the brightest, most creative, most entrepreneurial people I know. 00:00:22.346 --> 00:00:23.687 I wield a tool. 00:00:24.347 --> 00:00:29.615 And that tool I wield is what makes them fear and despise me. 00:00:30.565 --> 00:00:35.076 As a professor, I have the ability to do what's called "cold calling." 00:00:35.116 --> 00:00:38.386 That's where I look at a student and say, "What do you think? 00:00:38.706 --> 00:00:41.076 What do you feel about what we just discussed? 00:00:41.606 --> 00:00:43.517 How does this impact you?" 00:00:44.167 --> 00:00:46.855 And this causes panic, 00:00:48.075 --> 00:00:51.626 not just for my students but for everybody: 00:00:52.166 --> 00:00:56.076 that moment where we are called upon to speak articulately. 00:00:57.006 --> 00:00:58.248 Can we do it? 00:00:59.148 --> 00:01:02.887 Now, rest assured, I never cold call on my students. 00:01:03.087 --> 00:01:05.847 I think it's rude, and I know it's hard. 00:01:06.897 --> 00:01:08.311 But people fear it. 00:01:09.211 --> 00:01:14.898 Eighty-five percent of people say they fear speaking in public. 00:01:14.948 --> 00:01:17.947 And quite frankly, I think the other 15% are lying. 00:01:18.207 --> 00:01:22.238 I think we could find a situation that makes them nervous too. 00:01:22.928 --> 00:01:28.448 So today, my goal is to share with you some tips and techniques that you can use 00:01:28.688 --> 00:01:32.538 to help you be more comfortable and confident when you're speaking, 00:01:32.727 --> 00:01:37.107 in other words, to be able to think fast and talk smart. 00:01:38.047 --> 00:01:41.288 To do this, we're going to look at four different steps. 00:01:41.458 --> 00:01:44.079 First, we're going to talk about the approach we take. 00:01:44.669 --> 00:01:47.329 Then, we'll speak about the audience we talk to, 00:01:47.679 --> 00:01:50.029 the context in which we find ourselves 00:01:50.049 --> 00:01:55.758 and finally, the structures we use to help our messages get across. 00:01:56.948 --> 00:01:59.319 So, let's start by talking about approach. 00:02:00.569 --> 00:02:03.750 You know, I was reminded about the importance of approach 00:02:04.100 --> 00:02:08.047 many, many years ago, when my wife and I first moved in with each other. 00:02:08.077 --> 00:02:11.869 You see, we fought a lot over little things, 00:02:13.009 --> 00:02:15.699 things mostly that happened in our bathrooms. 00:02:15.729 --> 00:02:17.450 We called these our bathroom brawls: 00:02:17.450 --> 00:02:18.609 "Is the toilet seat up?" 00:02:18.649 --> 00:02:20.270 "Is the toilet seat down?" 00:02:20.290 --> 00:02:23.124 By far, the biggest fight my wife and I ever had 00:02:23.964 --> 00:02:25.364 was over toothpaste. 00:02:25.394 --> 00:02:26.934 (Laughter) 00:02:27.204 --> 00:02:30.678 You see, my wife's a roller, and I'm a squeezer. 00:02:31.648 --> 00:02:33.600 And all of you out there who are rollers, 00:02:33.600 --> 00:02:37.360 I appreciate the fine artwork you create out of your toothpaste. 00:02:37.390 --> 00:02:42.121 But you know that the most awful thing that can happen to you 00:02:42.151 --> 00:02:46.408 is to have a squeezer come by and ruin all that effort you've put in. 00:02:46.408 --> 00:02:49.698 But to me, getting toothpaste out of a tube is an act of aggression. 00:02:49.711 --> 00:02:52.081 I feel powerful in the morning and in the evening. 00:02:52.091 --> 00:02:53.110 (Laughter) 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:56.191 And we would fight incessantly over little things like this. 00:02:56.191 --> 00:02:59.122 And finally, my wife, who is much smarter than I, 00:02:59.482 --> 00:03:02.903 said, "Timeout. What are we doing here? We've just been married. 00:03:02.903 --> 00:03:05.340 We love each other, yet we're fighting all the time. 00:03:05.340 --> 00:03:07.360 We need to look at this differently." 00:03:07.480 --> 00:03:12.020 And as soon as we started looking at our bathroom brawls 00:03:12.660 --> 00:03:14.850 as opportunities - 00:03:14.980 --> 00:03:20.243 opportunities to learn about each other, to make concessions, to collaborate - 00:03:20.282 --> 00:03:21.591 things changed. 00:03:21.951 --> 00:03:24.702 And I'm happy to say, after 15 years of marriage, 00:03:24.812 --> 00:03:27.120 we no longer fight over toothpaste. 00:03:27.160 --> 00:03:28.300 (Laughter) 00:03:28.720 --> 00:03:32.020 This same approach is true in communication. 00:03:32.050 --> 00:03:35.951 Most of us, when we are in situations where we need to communicate, 00:03:37.101 --> 00:03:39.002 we see them as threatening. 00:03:39.392 --> 00:03:42.283 We see them as opportunities for failure. 00:03:42.743 --> 00:03:45.302 And I'd like to suggest that we need to change that. 00:03:45.602 --> 00:03:48.682 We need to approach communication in an open way, 00:03:48.732 --> 00:03:53.213 see it as an opportunity to share our ideas, our beliefs, our innovations. 00:03:53.503 --> 00:03:56.473 And when we take a perspective of openness, 00:03:56.863 --> 00:03:59.342 all of a sudden, something that we dread 00:03:59.732 --> 00:04:02.092 becomes something that we embrace. 00:04:02.112 --> 00:04:04.613 So, the first step to effective communication 00:04:04.643 --> 00:04:07.363 is to approach it in an open way. 00:04:08.983 --> 00:04:10.283 But that's not enough. 00:04:10.833 --> 00:04:14.512 We need to think about the audience that we're speaking to. 00:04:16.012 --> 00:04:20.961 And to me, the way to approach it is the opposite the way most people do. 00:04:20.981 --> 00:04:24.110 Most of us think about, "Here's what I want to say" 00:04:24.110 --> 00:04:26.343 or, "Here's what I need to say." 00:04:26.633 --> 00:04:29.073 I would suggest that's exactly wrong. 00:04:29.103 --> 00:04:32.933 You need to think about, "What does my audience need to hear?" 00:04:34.863 --> 00:04:38.243 And it sounds just like verbal jiu jitsu, where I'm moving words around, 00:04:38.243 --> 00:04:40.654 but in fact, it's a fundamental difference. 00:04:40.674 --> 00:04:43.255 If I ask myself, "What does my audience need," 00:04:43.255 --> 00:04:46.165 it puts me in service of my audience. 00:04:46.185 --> 00:04:48.014 It's about their needs. 00:04:48.304 --> 00:04:52.153 And in order to understand those needs, I have to do some reconnaissance. 00:04:52.173 --> 00:04:54.653 I have to ask myself who they are. 00:04:56.023 --> 00:05:00.194 The three things I think we need to ask about our audience are, 00:05:00.204 --> 00:05:01.934 "What is their knowledge?" 00:05:01.994 --> 00:05:03.863 "What is it that they know?" 00:05:04.483 --> 00:05:06.073 and if they don't know enough, 00:05:06.073 --> 00:05:08.894 "What can we do to scaffold that information 00:05:08.924 --> 00:05:11.235 so that they have the tools they need?" 00:05:11.515 --> 00:05:12.835 In addition to knowledge, 00:05:12.835 --> 00:05:15.774 we need to be thinking about their expectations. 00:05:16.454 --> 00:05:21.633 And by expectations, I mean, What is it that they expect of me? 00:05:22.463 --> 00:05:26.595 Most audiences have heard the types of presentations you're giving: 00:05:26.625 --> 00:05:28.186 maybe it's a pitch, 00:05:28.536 --> 00:05:31.656 maybe it's some kind of advertisement or marketing, 00:05:31.696 --> 00:05:33.464 maybe it's a TED talk. 00:05:33.754 --> 00:05:37.085 Your audience has heard those kinds of presentations before, 00:05:37.085 --> 00:05:39.075 so what do they expect of you? 00:05:39.475 --> 00:05:42.795 And then you can choose to conform to those expectations or not. 00:05:43.435 --> 00:05:45.556 You know, I have two young kids, 00:05:45.556 --> 00:05:48.506 and I learned that sometimes violating their expectations 00:05:48.546 --> 00:05:52.845 actually is the most effective thing I can do for the communication we need. 00:05:53.875 --> 00:05:56.217 My boys sometimes make me upset. 00:05:56.547 --> 00:06:01.065 And when they make me upset, I used to raise my voice to no avail. 00:06:01.105 --> 00:06:02.185 Nothing happened. 00:06:02.215 --> 00:06:03.677 I was ignored. 00:06:03.707 --> 00:06:05.936 And that's tough for a communication guy. 00:06:05.936 --> 00:06:07.587 So, what I started to do - 00:06:07.607 --> 00:06:09.896 when I'm really upset with my boys, 00:06:09.906 --> 00:06:12.116 I lower my voice. 00:06:12.886 --> 00:06:15.446 And they stop dead in their tracks. 00:06:16.106 --> 00:06:20.255 Violating expectations sometimes can actually help you as a communicator. 00:06:20.845 --> 00:06:25.287 The final thing we need to think about is, "What are their attitudes?" 00:06:25.467 --> 00:06:27.446 The way you approach your communication 00:06:27.446 --> 00:06:31.626 is influenced by what your audience thinks about what you're talking on: 00:06:31.657 --> 00:06:33.907 Are they in favor of it? Are they against it? 00:06:33.917 --> 00:06:35.647 Or they're hesitant? Agnostic? 00:06:35.667 --> 00:06:40.048 Those are the things you need to be asking yourself when you communicate. 00:06:40.308 --> 00:06:43.617 So, we need to appreciate our audience. 00:06:44.617 --> 00:06:48.837 When my older child was in kindergarten, I volunteered. 00:06:48.857 --> 00:06:50.737 I came into his classroom, 00:06:50.767 --> 00:06:53.296 the teacher had to leave to take a call or something, 00:06:53.296 --> 00:06:55.957 and I was in charge of an art project. 00:06:56.557 --> 00:06:58.648 Oh, was that a mistake. 00:06:59.128 --> 00:07:00.514 The kids were running around. 00:07:00.514 --> 00:07:03.340 I was saying, "Stop this, Johnny." "Sally, stop doing that." 00:07:03.340 --> 00:07:04.380 Nobody listened. 00:07:05.457 --> 00:07:07.787 The Yoda-like teacher returned, 00:07:07.817 --> 00:07:11.428 saw the chaos that had ensued in her brief absence 00:07:11.688 --> 00:07:13.303 and simply looked at the children 00:07:13.303 --> 00:07:16.253 and started rewarding the positive behavior. 00:07:17.208 --> 00:07:21.839 "Janet," she said, "what a lovely way you've cleaned up your crayons." 00:07:22.699 --> 00:07:27.328 "Samuel, thank you so much for walking with the scissors." 00:07:27.478 --> 00:07:28.638 (Laughter) 00:07:29.108 --> 00:07:33.048 The students stopped in their tracks, changed their behavior. 00:07:33.078 --> 00:07:37.699 I learned then that you need to understand your audience and what they need. 00:07:37.719 --> 00:07:41.059 And to this day, I try to apply those principles. 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:44.860 I also learned that I could never teach elementary school students. 00:07:44.870 --> 00:07:47.807 If guilt and shame doesn't work, I can't teach them. 00:07:47.817 --> 00:07:48.927 (Laughter) 00:07:49.037 --> 00:07:52.218 So, knowing your audience really matters. 00:07:52.448 --> 00:07:54.049 But beyond knowing your audience, 00:07:54.049 --> 00:07:57.590 you have to appreciate the context in which you speak. 00:07:57.900 --> 00:08:01.324 Whenever you speak, you are in a particular context. 00:08:01.354 --> 00:08:04.370 And to me, context comes in a bunch of different varieties. 00:08:04.390 --> 00:08:07.959 The first thing about context we need to think about is the time. 00:08:07.979 --> 00:08:10.730 What time of day are you communicating? 00:08:11.350 --> 00:08:13.727 If you're talking early in the morning, 00:08:13.737 --> 00:08:15.741 you might have to have a little more energy 00:08:15.741 --> 00:08:16.811 to keep people moving. 00:08:16.811 --> 00:08:20.891 Same thing after lunch when people are having that food coma experience. 00:08:22.060 --> 00:08:24.449 I taught high school many, many years ago. 00:08:24.459 --> 00:08:27.270 And I don't think my principal liked me very much 00:08:27.300 --> 00:08:32.432 because she gave me freshmen right before lunch and right after lunch. 00:08:32.461 --> 00:08:35.791 And if you know anything about 14- and 15-year-old kids, 00:08:35.811 --> 00:08:39.331 they need lots of food and lots of social experience. 00:08:39.391 --> 00:08:44.391 So, by the time my first class of freshmen came to me after four hours of class, 00:08:44.411 --> 00:08:46.161 they were dead tired. 00:08:46.191 --> 00:08:48.539 They could barely move, let alone think. 00:08:49.219 --> 00:08:51.911 Right after lunch, when my second batch joined me, 00:08:51.931 --> 00:08:56.202 they were amped-up on their food, their caffeine, their friends. 00:08:56.232 --> 00:08:58.421 It was a frenzy in my classroom. 00:08:58.441 --> 00:09:00.981 And I had to teach them the same thing. 00:09:01.871 --> 00:09:03.221 How did I do it? 00:09:03.221 --> 00:09:06.441 I changed the way we approached the class. 00:09:07.321 --> 00:09:09.560 The class before lunch was highly collaborative, 00:09:09.560 --> 00:09:11.701 people were moving around, lots of activities; 00:09:11.701 --> 00:09:13.913 after lunch, a little more mellow. 00:09:13.913 --> 00:09:19.381 You must address the context, the timing so your message can be effective. 00:09:21.231 --> 00:09:23.882 Context also involves emotion. 00:09:24.122 --> 00:09:27.862 Most of us when we communicate, we think about information: 00:09:27.902 --> 00:09:31.252 What's in my head, in my heart I need to communicate to you? 00:09:31.292 --> 00:09:33.753 But we also communicate a feeling. 00:09:33.883 --> 00:09:36.993 Maybe we're trying to get people excited and motivate them. 00:09:37.303 --> 00:09:38.883 Maybe we're trying to scare them, 00:09:38.883 --> 00:09:42.802 create that burning platform that motivates them to change. 00:09:42.802 --> 00:09:45.193 Sometimes, we're just trying to instill confidence: 00:09:45.193 --> 00:09:47.032 You should believe in what I'm saying. 00:09:47.032 --> 00:09:51.604 But we need to think about the emotion as well as the information. 00:09:53.374 --> 00:09:58.312 The final bit of context has to do with where you're physically speaking. 00:09:59.122 --> 00:10:00.883 Location matters. 00:10:02.003 --> 00:10:04.534 Just the other day, I read in the newspaper 00:10:04.534 --> 00:10:07.973 that the Girl Scout in the state of California this year 00:10:07.983 --> 00:10:12.793 who sold the most cookies during the Girl Scout's annual cookie drive 00:10:13.113 --> 00:10:17.324 set up shop in front of a medical marijuana dispensary. 00:10:18.624 --> 00:10:21.654 She sold more cookies than anybody. 00:10:21.674 --> 00:10:23.824 Location matters. 00:10:23.854 --> 00:10:25.714 Think about the way the room is set up. 00:10:25.744 --> 00:10:28.744 Think about the environment: Is it live? Is it virtual? 00:10:28.754 --> 00:10:31.845 Those change the way that you communicate. 00:10:31.865 --> 00:10:34.785 We need to think about location. 00:10:36.225 --> 00:10:38.394 So, our approach is important. 00:10:38.474 --> 00:10:40.264 Our audience is important. 00:10:40.554 --> 00:10:44.162 The context in which we find ourselves is important 00:10:44.902 --> 00:10:47.854 and so too is the way we structure our messages. 00:10:50.444 --> 00:10:55.814 It is much easier for humans to understand information when it is structured. 00:10:56.214 --> 00:11:00.974 In fact, we remember information up to 40% better when it's structured. 00:11:01.444 --> 00:11:03.184 What do I mean by this? 00:11:03.204 --> 00:11:06.285 Some of you listening are too young to remember, 00:11:06.315 --> 00:11:08.125 but those of us of my age, 00:11:08.125 --> 00:11:10.545 when we wanted to call somebody on the phone, 00:11:10.935 --> 00:11:13.406 we actually had to remember a phone number. 00:11:13.726 --> 00:11:16.205 My kids today, they look at a picture, push a button, 00:11:16.205 --> 00:11:18.505 and the other person starts talking on the phone. 00:11:18.505 --> 00:11:20.575 We had it much harder. 00:11:20.635 --> 00:11:22.075 We had to remember 10 digits. 00:11:22.075 --> 00:11:24.796 Ten digits are hard to remember, so what did we do? 00:11:24.796 --> 00:11:28.005 We put them in a structure: three-three-and four. 00:11:28.995 --> 00:11:30.445 That's how we remembered. 00:11:30.445 --> 00:11:32.107 That's what I mean by a structure. 00:11:32.107 --> 00:11:35.156 The information is put in a way that it makes it easy 00:11:35.156 --> 00:11:38.956 not only for you as a speaker but also for the audience to remember. 00:11:40.526 --> 00:11:44.195 Now, I have lots of favorite structures. 00:11:44.195 --> 00:11:46.545 You see some of the structures up here behind me. 00:11:46.545 --> 00:11:51.656 The first structure is a chronological structure: past-present-future. 00:11:51.686 --> 00:11:53.077 Here's how things used to be. 00:11:53.077 --> 00:11:54.316 Here's how they are today. 00:11:54.316 --> 00:11:56.417 Here's where they're going in the future. 00:11:56.437 --> 00:11:59.496 A chronological structure can really help you 00:11:59.496 --> 00:12:03.366 navigate your audience from one place to the next. 00:12:03.576 --> 00:12:06.677 Quite frankly, structure sets expectations. 00:12:06.997 --> 00:12:10.877 You can't be lost if you have a map. 00:12:10.897 --> 00:12:12.647 Your structure provides a map, 00:12:12.667 --> 00:12:16.097 and the chronological structure is incredibly helpful for that. 00:12:17.247 --> 00:12:22.486 The next structure happens to be the problem-solution-benefit structure. 00:12:22.486 --> 00:12:25.767 This is one of the most persuasive structures out there. 00:12:25.777 --> 00:12:27.978 You start by explaining what the issue is, 00:12:27.998 --> 00:12:31.548 you talk about how to solve it and then the benefits to the people. 00:12:33.337 --> 00:12:38.018 Finally, my favorite structure, the one that I use the most - 00:12:38.028 --> 00:12:40.930 I call this "the MacGyver of all structures"; 00:12:41.250 --> 00:12:43.827 this can get you through any situation - 00:12:44.217 --> 00:12:47.859 is the what, so-what, now-what structure. 00:12:48.129 --> 00:12:50.759 You start by telling people what the issue is. 00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:53.827 You tell them why it's important in that so-what step. 00:12:53.847 --> 00:12:56.418 And then you tell them what's next, what's coming. 00:12:56.468 --> 00:12:57.928 It's like a Swiss Army knife. 00:12:57.958 --> 00:13:00.505 You can use it in situations if you're teaching. 00:13:00.525 --> 00:13:03.728 You can use it if you are trying to motivate people. 00:13:04.078 --> 00:13:07.039 And you can use it even if you're introducing somebody. 00:13:07.079 --> 00:13:10.779 Change the "what" to a "who," and you've got your introduction. 00:13:13.229 --> 00:13:17.249 Structure helps keep your audience together and in line. 00:13:17.719 --> 00:13:20.910 When I was an undergraduate, I was a tour guide. 00:13:20.940 --> 00:13:23.079 It was the highest-paying job on campus. 00:13:23.079 --> 00:13:24.910 And boy, did I need money. 00:13:24.950 --> 00:13:28.479 I trained for 12 weeks to be a tour guide. 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:33.860 I learned lots of interesting - some would say useless - facts about my university, 00:13:34.380 --> 00:13:37.489 things they drilled into our heads besides how to walk backwards, 00:13:37.489 --> 00:13:40.040 which to this day I still can do in a straight line. 00:13:40.230 --> 00:13:42.510 The most important thing they taught us - 00:13:42.510 --> 00:13:44.009 they said, "Above all else, 00:13:44.009 --> 00:13:47.000 to be a great tour guide at this institution 00:13:47.060 --> 00:13:50.720 is to never lose your audience. 00:13:50.750 --> 00:13:54.601 You are a bad tour guide if your tour group gets lost." 00:13:55.031 --> 00:13:57.861 The same is true when you're speaking. 00:13:57.891 --> 00:14:00.591 Structure keeps people together. 00:14:00.891 --> 00:14:02.220 We need structure. 00:14:04.850 --> 00:14:08.770 So, we see here that these tools, 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:13.810 the tools that help us get our audience engaged and involved 00:14:13.850 --> 00:14:15.711 and help us convey our message 00:14:16.221 --> 00:14:22.440 are the same tools that helped my students learn to love speaking 00:14:22.450 --> 00:14:24.161 and learn to do it well. 00:14:24.991 --> 00:14:26.951 It's about the approach you take, 00:14:27.191 --> 00:14:28.469 the audience, 00:14:28.899 --> 00:14:30.139 the context, 00:14:30.289 --> 00:14:31.682 and the structure. 00:14:32.162 --> 00:14:35.903 Now, I'm always looking for examples of this to help people understand. 00:14:35.913 --> 00:14:38.331 And the other day, I was eating breakfast, 00:14:38.331 --> 00:14:41.131 and I looked across the table at my soy milk, 00:14:41.151 --> 00:14:44.772 and I said, "You know what? This is a great example." 00:14:45.482 --> 00:14:48.511 Think about it: Silk soy milk. 00:14:50.631 --> 00:14:55.442 Silk soy milk is targeted to a very specific audience: 00:14:56.032 --> 00:14:58.335 people who are interested in eating healthy 00:14:59.315 --> 00:15:01.915 or people who are lactose intolerant. 00:15:03.045 --> 00:15:07.602 The name is a combination of the words "soy" and "milk" - 00:15:08.122 --> 00:15:09.382 "Silk." 00:15:09.732 --> 00:15:11.362 It speaks to the audience's desire 00:15:11.362 --> 00:15:15.713 to have something rich, something expensive, something yummy. 00:15:17.713 --> 00:15:22.014 It's at a time, in a context, in an environment. 00:15:22.014 --> 00:15:25.813 If you notice where you buy Silk soy milk, it's next to other milk. 00:15:25.813 --> 00:15:27.852 That's not where it was originally. 00:15:27.872 --> 00:15:29.892 It used to be in the health food aisle. 00:15:29.912 --> 00:15:31.194 Now it's next to milk. 00:15:31.194 --> 00:15:34.175 They marketed it and boxed it the way milk is. 00:15:35.085 --> 00:15:38.452 The structure of the name is very compelling. 00:15:38.472 --> 00:15:42.253 Let's face it, they could have called it "Moy," 00:15:43.843 --> 00:15:46.083 and nobody would've bought it, right? 00:15:46.694 --> 00:15:51.554 So, if you get the message right and you communicate it effectively, 00:15:51.904 --> 00:15:53.884 you can make a big difference. 00:15:55.564 --> 00:15:59.824 So, I want for you what I wish for all of my students: 00:16:00.354 --> 00:16:04.354 bold communication that's confident and compelling. 00:16:04.864 --> 00:16:09.224 And I want for your message to echo long after you leave the room. 00:16:09.514 --> 00:16:12.344 And these are skills that are at your disposal. 00:16:12.384 --> 00:16:16.796 It just takes practice and a little bit of a positive approach. 00:16:16.846 --> 00:16:17.865 Thank you.