1
00:00:10,158 --> 00:00:11,295
小子，這唯一一集

2
00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:12,792
你不能勝過我

3
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:14,099
我打敗你，不喜歡你

4
00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:15,413
再取消訂閱

5
00:00:15,413 --> 00:00:16,717
你終有一天能夠饒舌

6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:17,749
我信你，老友

7
00:00:17,749 --> 00:00:18,860
但現在只好繼續剪剪

8
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:20,645
那狗屎垃圾《星期一秀》

9
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,206
我先殺戮那水彩畫獨角獸

10
00:00:22,206 --> 00:00:23,331
當早餐食牠的死屍

11
00:00:23,331 --> 00:00:24,234
再向 YouTube 洩露

12
00:00:24,234 --> 00:00:25,730
你中間名是阿歷西斯

13
00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:26,660
我感到你很畏懼

14
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,347
看看你的身體語言就知道

15
00:00:28,347 --> 00:00:29,257
你該快投降

16
00:00:29,257 --> 00:00:30,927
看，你髮缐也跟著退倒

17
00:00:30,927 --> 00:00:32,408
好人彼得？誰人呀？

18
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:33,559
根本無人想理

19
00:00:33,559 --> 00:00:34,427
人人皆知你專頁

20
00:00:34,427 --> 00:00:36,216
只是個放爭霸戰之地

21
00:00:36,216 --> 00:00:37,528
兄弟你在 YouTube 上很著名

22
00:00:37,528 --> 00:00:38,802
更有份好好的工作

23
00:00:38,802 --> 00:00:40,101
但緊記你成功背後

24
00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:41,260
是基於我妙計而所學

25
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:43,127
爭霸戰是你的主意

26
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:43,900
這不能別具隻眼

27
00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,157
但我是那鬼才

28
00:00:45,157 --> 00:00:47,045
要個侏儒飾演大壞蛋

29
00:00:47,045 --> 00:00:47,825
看下你

30
00:00:47,825 --> 00:00:49,441
譲我告訴你我見到甚麼

31
00:00:49,441 --> 00:00:50,689
你只是個助手矮冬瓜

32
00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:51,880
我叫你做「迷你我｣

33
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,257
我黏一撮鬍鬚在你面上

34
00:00:53,257 --> 00:00:54,499
即刻飾演卑鄙的希特拉

35
00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:55,725
拿走鬍鬚

36
00:00:55,725 --> 00:00:57,229
你更像貝蒂 ∙ 蜜勒

37
00:00:57,229 --> 00:00:58,753
你這個崩牙，板臉

38
00:00:58,753 --> 00:00:59,958
樣子像馬兼無品

39
00:00:59,958 --> 00:01:00,998
你和比爾 ∙ 奧雷利

40
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:02,492
都可以含我條撚

41
00:01:02,492 --> 00:01:03,581
無錯你的確比我高

42
00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:05,065
但你應仰望我

43
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:05,949
這個兄台給你

44
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:07,401
第一份棟篤笑的工作

45
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,861
我嘔心瀝血為你寫下最好的

46
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,311
令你大展歌喉

47
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:11,611
而你音樂才華有

48
00:01:11,611 --> 00:01:13,001
查克 ∙ 羅禮士那麼糗

49
00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:14,160
你有音樂天份？

50
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,367
不要誇大其詞

51
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,464
你寫的八十七隻歌

52
00:01:16,464 --> 00:01:18,205
都是用枯燥乏味的和弦

53
00:01:18,205 --> 00:01:19,447
你小得像隻拇指

54
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:20,856
究竟你從何來？

55
00:01:20,856 --> 00:01:22,078
我現正像饒舌挑戰

56
00:01:22,078 --> 00:01:23,441
咕嚕但有胖子身材

57
00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:24,619
我將你狠狠打底

58
00:01:24,619 --> 00:01:25,729
掉落你的超人襪

59
00:01:25,729 --> 00:01:27,060
你是個無名氏只識

60
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,540
擦擦卡森的鞋

61
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:30,175
大佬，你不用

62
00:01:30,175 --> 00:01:31,399
説得如此涼薄

63
00:01:31,399 --> 00:01:32,973
饒舌爭霸戰與你，我皆屌

64
00:01:32,973 --> 00:01:34,587
我不玩

65
00:01:42,011 --> 00:01:43,129
卡森

66
00:01:43,129 --> 00:01:44,257
仆街

67
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:09,288
你不單不可以放棄造饒舌爭霸戰，彼得

68
00:02:09,288 --> 00:02:10,936
你要搞大它們

69
00:02:10,936 --> 00:02:12,826
你要造好它們

70
00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:14,536
你要將它們放上獨有的頻道

71
00:02:14,536 --> 00:02:17,578
我猜你意思是我們可再造第二季

72
00:02:17,578 --> 00:02:19,656
正是如此

73
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:20,503
還有你

74
00:02:20,503 --> 00:02:22,541
叫甚麼名字？是否托特？

75
00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:24,394
是洛伊特

76
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,263
你應該建立一個頻道

77
00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:27,173
我已有一個

78
00:02:27,173 --> 00:02:28,000
好

79
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,165
那麼我可放甚麼在我的頻道？

80
00:02:30,165 --> 00:02:32,213
你不如繼續造你的音樂？

81
00:02:32,213 --> 00:02:35,356
像一如既往的你？

82
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,394
好的

83
00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:39,154
普京：「如第二季沒有任何俄羅斯人，我會徒手殺死好人彼得。｣

84
00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:41,111
蘇格拉底：「可能是 YouTube 最撚正的東西。｣

85
00:02:41,111 --> 00:02:41,531
富蘭克林：「電視是屬於廢柴。｣

86
00:02:41,531 --> 00:02:42,181
喬布斯：「交支咪來。｣

87
00:02:42,688 --> 00:02:45,918
譯者：Gabriel Tsang