0:00:14.042,0:00:17.709
William Shakespeare said[br]that "all the world's a stage,"

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and the men and women are merely players.

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I must tell you in my experiences[br]as a drag queen,

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I am constantly learning the lesson

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between being a player[br]and playing a character.

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We as human beings[br]all experience the tension

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between who it is we think we are[br]and who the world would have us be.

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You see, I have learned so many things on[br]my journey as a drag queen,

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including that by dressing up in drag

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I am more alike all of you[br]than I am different.

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Because the truth is[br]we all learn to dress up in life.

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We dress up to find where it is we fit in

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with our relationships,[br]our jobs, and our hobbies.

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We dress up to hide from our fears,[br]our vulnerabilities and insecurities,

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the pressure to be thinner, happier,

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more successful and confident[br]versions of ourselves.

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We dress up to be what the expectations[br]of life would have us be.

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The CEO with every answer[br]in a moment of crisis,

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the PTA mom that shows up[br]and never breaks a sweat,

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someone else's version[br]of a perfect son or daughter,

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to be the perfect spouse.

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We dress up when our social lives[br]become so busy and full

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we have no time to deal with anything[br]remotely real or emotional.

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I have learned as a drag queen

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that when we dress up for the sake[br]and approval of other people,

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when we play a character in our real life

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because it seems safer and seductive,

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we lose the ability to experience[br]our authentic self,

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we get lost playing a character living in[br]a make-believe world with other characters

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instead of a true actor on a stage.

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Dressing up in drag is and continues to be

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the ultimate act of rebellion[br]for my Latino, Italian,

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conservative, Republican, catholic,[br]South Texas family

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(Laughter) (Applause)

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that I was born to be a part of.

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(Applause)

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It is somewhat exhausting.

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Christmas is very interesting.

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But this being my family,[br]I was born in a world

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full of expectations and demands[br]of who I was to be as a man --

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a drag queen is not one of them,[br]but it is who I am.

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So, I'll never forget the look[br]of fear on my mother's face

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when I told her that I wanted to dress up[br]as a woman when I was older too,

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just as the other boys were doing[br]on Jerry Springer.

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(Laughter)

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I was 5 years old. Why we were watching[br]Jerry Springer I have no idea.

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(Laughter)

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But what I remember, being beautiful,[br]my mother told me was sin.

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The truth is, dressing up in drag is,[br]and continues to be,

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the celebration of who I am in my life.

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Playing a character has led me back

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to the person that I am underneath[br]the makeup, the player,

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living behind a character in[br]a superficial world that tells all of us

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that we could somehow be[br]better versions of ourselves.

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I knew deep down inside growing up

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that who I was, was probably[br]never going to change.

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I did everything I could[br]to convince the world or my family,

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that I could be somebody else[br]on the outside.

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I couldn't see what I was getting[br]myself into at the time,

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but drag continues to be[br]my real journey out of my closet.

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Drag is the journey[br]that has saved my life.

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I created a character[br]out of a desperate act

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to reconnect with something[br]deep and familiar.

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When I came out of the closet,[br]I lost everything I could think of.

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I lost my family support,

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I lost my sense of love, connection,[br]belonging, my sense of faith.

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I lost everything and everyone in my life

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that I was pretending to be[br]somebody else for.

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And at 21 years old[br]when I looked in the mirror

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the person staring back at me was[br]the biggest stranger I had ever met.

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But how could it not be?

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I had been encouraged[br]to live a lie my whole life.

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I had learned to push aside[br]who I was born to be

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for whom I needed to play

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for a sense of safety and acceptance.

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Losing everything was not the game over

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that I thought it was to be[br]like in "Mario".

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I had a second chance.

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Losing everything was[br]my authenticity reset,

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where my life,[br]if I could accept who I was,

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could be genuine, honest, and true.

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So, I created this drag character

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to run away from the angry,[br]scared, insecure boy

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that I had become, living in my closet.

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You see, as Fonda, I experienced a world

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where I was seen as brave,[br]confidant, and beautiful.

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I would stand up and fight[br]the heteronormative ideal

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with my hair spray, glitter,[br]and stiletto heels.

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(Laughter)

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For once in my life I felt loved,[br]celebrated, and accepted.

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Every time I put on[br]the wigs and the makeup

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my life became more real.

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But so did the monsters[br]that I was running from.

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You see, I learned through[br]dressing up as Fonda Cox

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that the characters[br]I have been playing in my life

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were not the drag characters.

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It was Eric, it was the boy[br]that was never allowed to be,

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the boy who had an eating disorder,

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the boy who needed you to love him

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by always having to be[br]the center of attention.

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It was the boy that pretended[br]to have gay pride

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instead of experiencing and opening up[br]about his gay shame.

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You see, I am so grateful when I finally[br]started listening to the people around me,

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because they help me realize Fonda Cox[br]and Eric Dorsa are the same person,

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that a player cannot exist

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if you didn't have a conversation[br]with the characters in his life.

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What Fonda had, I too also had.

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The love and acceptance that I would get[br]being on a stage [were] real.

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I have learned that shame is the bully

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that drags me to my closet and keeps me[br]there with the door held shut.

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In my closet I learned

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to hide my vulnerabilities[br]and my insecurities from the world,

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and in truth, my humanity.

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But by letting go of my costumes,

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I have taken my closet[br]and I've made it my ally.

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Because what do we put in a closet anyway,

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our costumes, our memories,[br]our belongings?

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In a closet they're safe, out of the way,

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and we know where to go[br]when we need to find them.

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I have made my closet my ally.

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In there, I hid the parts of myself

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that I thought the world of the critic[br]would want nothing to do with.

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I still find myself in my closet at times[br]with the door shut, ready to grab

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one of my costumes to put it on[br]in order to face this world of the critic.

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But I tell myself the truth now,

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that the audience[br]on the other side of that door

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is a room full of fans, not critics.

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People who are ready to look at me and[br]celebrate me for the player that I am.

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A world where I don't need[br]a costume in order to fit in.

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A world where I am met[br]with love and curiosity, not fear.

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You see, Fonda Cox is no longer[br]a character that I play in my life.

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She is and continues to be[br]my journey out of the closet.

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She reminds me of the boy that I am

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before I ever heard of gender norms,

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before I ever had to step deep[br]into a gay closet,

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before I ever heard from the world or[br]my family that being me was wrong.

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Fonda Cox is what reminds me

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of the boy that I was who simply[br]wanted to play dress up.

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She reminds me of the boy that wanted[br]his mother to paint his nails too,

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and "what if" stopped[br]at absolutely nothing

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until he got an Easy-Bake oven.

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You see, I have learned[br]that when we live our lives

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in secrecy behind a closet door,

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we separate and fear ourselves[br]from those who closely resemble who it is

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that we are trying to hide from the world.

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We live in a reality of us versus them,

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where we hope people see[br]who it is we're pretending to be,

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instead of who we really are.

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I ask you, how do you play[br]dress up in your life?

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What characters do you find[br]yourself playing?

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The character could not exist[br]if it weren't for the actor

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because this is the you[br]that belongs in your life.

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This is the you that we want to see,

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this is the you that deserves[br]to be loved and celebrated.

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This is the 'you' you were born to play.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)