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William Shakespeare said
that "all the world's a stage,"

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and the men and women are merely players.

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I must tell you in my experiences
as a drag queen,

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I am constantly learning the lesson

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between being a player
and playing a character.

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We as human beings
all experience the tension

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between who it is we think we are
and who the world would have us be.

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You see, I have learned so many things on
my journey as a drag queen,

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including that by dressing up in drag

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I am more alike all of you
than I am different.

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Because the truth is
we all learn to dress up in life.

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We dress up to find where it is we fit in

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with our relationships,
our jobs, and our hobbies.

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We dress up to hide from our fears,
our vulnerabilities and insecurities,

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the pressure to be thinner, happier,

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more successful and confident
versions of ourselves.

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We dress up to be what the expectations
of life would have us be.

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The CEO with every answer
in a moment of crisis,

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the PTA mom that shows up
and never breaks a sweat,

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someone else's version
of a perfect son or daughter,

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to be the perfect spouse.

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We dress up when our social lives
become so busy and full

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we have no time to deal with anything
remotely real or emotional.

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I have learned as a drag queen

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that when we dress up for the sake
and approval of other people,

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when we play a character in our real life

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because it seems safer and seductive,

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we lose the ability to experience
our authentic self,

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we get lost playing a character living in
a make-believe world with other characters

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instead of a true actor on a stage.

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Dressing up in drag is and continues to be

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the ultimate act of rebellion
for my Latino, Italian,

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conservative, Republican, catholic,
South Texas family

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(Laughter) (Applause)

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that I was born to be a part of.

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(Applause)

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It is somewhat exhausting.

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Christmas is very interesting.

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But this being my family,
I was born in a world

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full of expectations and demands
of who I was to be as a man --

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a drag queen is not one of them,
but it is who I am.

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So, I'll never forget the look
of fear on my mother's face

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when I told her that I wanted to dress up
as a woman when I was older too,

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just as the other boys were doing
on Jerry Springer.

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(Laughter)

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I was 5 years old. Why we were watching
Jerry Springer I have no idea.

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(Laughter)

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But what I remember, being beautiful,
my mother told me was sin.

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The truth is, dressing up in drag is,
and continues to be,

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the celebration of who I am in my life.

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Playing a character has led me back

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to the person that I am underneath
the makeup, the player,

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living behind a character in
a superficial world that tells all of us

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that we could somehow be
better versions of ourselves.

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I knew deep down inside growing up

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that who I was, was probably
never going to change.

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I did everything I could
to convince the world or my family,

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that I could be somebody else
on the outside.

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I couldn't see what I was getting
myself into at the time,

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but drag continues to be
my real journey out of my closet.

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Drag is the journey
that has saved my life.

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I created a character
out of a desperate act

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to reconnect with something
deep and familiar.

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When I came out of the closet,
I lost everything I could think of.

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I lost my family support,

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I lost my sense of love, connection,
belonging, my sense of faith.

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I lost everything and everyone in my life

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that I was pretending to be
somebody else for.

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And at 21 years old
when I looked in the mirror

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the person staring back at me was
the biggest stranger I had ever met.

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But how could it not be?

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I had been encouraged
to live a lie my whole life.

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I had learned to push aside
who I was born to be

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for whom I needed to play

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for a sense of safety and acceptance.

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Losing everything was not the game over

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that I thought it was to be
like in "Mario".

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I had a second chance.

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Losing everything was
my authenticity reset,

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where my life,
if I could accept who I was,

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could be genuine, honest, and true.

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So, I created this drag character

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to run away from the angry,
scared, insecure boy

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that I had become, living in my closet.

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You see, as Fonda, I experienced a world

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where I was seen as brave,
confidant, and beautiful.

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I would stand up and fight
the heteronormative ideal

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with my hair spray, glitter,
and stiletto heels.

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(Laughter)

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For once in my life I felt loved,
celebrated, and accepted.

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Every time I put on
the wigs and the makeup

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my life became more real.

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But so did the monsters
that I was running from.

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You see, I learned through
dressing up as Fonda Cox

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that the characters
I have been playing in my life

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were not the drag characters.

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It was Eric, it was the boy
that was never allowed to be,

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the boy who had an eating disorder,

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the boy who needed you to love him

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by always having to be
the center of attention.

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It was the boy that pretended
to have gay pride

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instead of experiencing and opening up
about his gay shame.

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You see, I am so grateful when I finally
started listening to the people around me,

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because they help me realize Fonda Cox
and Eric Dorsa are the same person,

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that a player cannot exist

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if you didn't have a conversation
with the characters in his life.

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What Fonda had, I too also had.

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The love and acceptance that I would get
being on a stage [were] real.

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I have learned that shame is the bully

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that drags me to my closet and keeps me
there with the door held shut.

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In my closet I learned

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to hide my vulnerabilities
and my insecurities from the world,

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and in truth, my humanity.

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But by letting go of my costumes,

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I have taken my closet
and I've made it my ally.

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Because what do we put in a closet anyway,

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our costumes, our memories,
our belongings?

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In a closet they're safe, out of the way,

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and we know where to go
when we need to find them.

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I have made my closet my ally.

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In there, I hid the parts of myself

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that I thought the world of the critic
would want nothing to do with.

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I still find myself in my closet at times
with the door shut, ready to grab

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one of my costumes to put it on
in order to face this world of the critic.

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But I tell myself the truth now,

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that the audience
on the other side of that door

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is a room full of fans, not critics.

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People who are ready to look at me and
celebrate me for the player that I am.

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A world where I don't need
a costume in order to fit in.

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A world where I am met
with love and curiosity, not fear.

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You see, Fonda Cox is no longer
a character that I play in my life.

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She is and continues to be
my journey out of the closet.

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She reminds me of the boy that I am

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before I ever heard of gender norms,

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before I ever had to step deep
into a gay closet,

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before I ever heard from the world or
my family that being me was wrong.

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Fonda Cox is what reminds me

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of the boy that I was who simply
wanted to play dress up.

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She reminds me of the boy that wanted
his mother to paint his nails too,

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and "what if" stopped
at absolutely nothing

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until he got an Easy-Bake oven.

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You see, I have learned
that when we live our lives

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in secrecy behind a closet door,

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we separate and fear ourselves
from those who closely resemble who it is

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that we are trying to hide from the world.

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We live in a reality of us versus them,

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where we hope people see
who it is we're pretending to be,

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instead of who we really are.

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I ask you, how do you play
dress up in your life?

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What characters do you find
yourself playing?

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The character could not exist
if it weren't for the actor

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because this is the you
that belongs in your life.

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This is the you that we want to see,

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this is the you that deserves
to be loved and celebrated.

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This is the 'you' you were born to play.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)