7 Ways to Chop an Onion: You Suck at Cooking (episode 9)

Today I'm gonna show you several different ways to dice an onion.

Cut the onion in half that way.

Peel it.

Leave the nub on, then slice this way.

Slice this way. Careful here, your knife has to be sharp or else it will slide.

Don't chop your fingers off.

Congratulations, you did a great job.

This next way was the main way people chopped things before the 40s when knives were invented.

And what you wanna is just firmly throw it against the wall.

And there you can just grab each other individual piece and chuck that against the wall to make it more fine.

The next technique you will only be able to do if you have a yellow belt In taekwondo like me,

and if you beat your cousin Chris to win first place in the St. Croix college tournament then you will be able to pull this one off.

So want you want to do is just line up your hand and give it a good DOW!

Look at that! That is a nice, clean hit right there.

Alright, next technique is pretty straight forward,

You wanna take your knife and get a Double A battery,

and touch the positive end to the knife to get the electricity flowing,

And just wanna come up and touch

See, I made the classic blunder of not peeling it first,

so now im gonna have to go through take the skin off. Don't be stupid like me!

This next one will be easy for you if you have a break dancing background

its definitely advanced it takes a few tries. Your just trying to get, sorta on the fore

Trying to hit the right spot on the forearm.

There we go!

This one is my favorite 'cause it relies on the power of sound,

what you wanna do is put some headphones on the onion,

and then you just dial a specific frequency of Nickelback and

This next one relies on pressure, you wanna take a really small frying pan, you gotta hit it

JUST hard enough to shatter but DO not go too hard.

So, you wanna wind up and just give it a nice, firm, strike.

Damn it! See i went too hard

and i got black beans. You go even harder than that

and you end up with corn. so, Alright, Alright.

The last technique relies on centrifugal force, what you wanna do is wind up

and give your onion a good spin,

and all that happens is your gonna end up making your onion dizzy,

and you should probably have more respect for your onion than that,

considering what you're about to put it through

Okay, bye!