Power & Control Wheel & Cycle of Violence- English

- [Narrator] Domestic
violence is a pattern

of abusive behavior

that is about trying to maintain power

and control over an intimate
partner or family member.

In the U.S., 20 people
are physically abused

by an intimate partner or
family member every minute.

However, there are many behaviors

and tactics an abuser can
use to try to maintain power

and control other than
physical and sexual violence.

One tool we can use to look
at those abusive behaviors

is the Power and Control wheel.

The outside of the wheel

represents the physical and sexual abuse

that can sometimes be
part of domestic violence.

Sexual violence includes
any sexual behavior

that you are not okay with
or that you do not agree to,

including using force
or coercion during sex.

The inside of the wheel

represents the non-physical
kind of behaviors

someone might use to try
to control their partner

or family member.

These include intimidation.

Intimidation can be in the
form of threatening looks

or gestures, displaying weapons,
destroying your property,

or hurting or threatening
to harm or take pets.

Emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse can include
behaviors like humiliating

or bullying you, playing head
games, or manipulating you,

and spiritual abuse.

Isolation.

Isolation means controlling
or limiting what you do,

who you see, or who you talk to.

It can also include cutting you
off from family and friends.

Your partner may use jealousy
to justify their behavior.

Denying, minimizing, or blaming.

Abusers may refuse to take
responsibility for their actions

or redirect blame.

This can look like
making fun of the abuse,

saying it didn't happen, or
saying the abuse is your fault.

Using children.

Your partner may try to maintain power

and control over you
through your children.

They might try to blame
the children for the abuse,

try to turn the children against you,

or threaten to take the
children away from you.

If you have left a relationship,

they may make you feel guilty

about keeping them away from the children,

interfere with visitation time or custody,

or threaten to make a false report to DCS.

Economic or financial abuse.

Economic abuse can include behaviors

such as preventing you from
working or forcing you to work,

creating debt in your name,

not allowing you to have access to money,

or making you ask for money.

Using privilege.

Using privilege can mean
treating you like a servant,

bossing you around, creating
strict relationship roles,

threatening to out you
are using racism, sexism,

or other biases against you.

And finally, coercion and threats.

Your partner may make or
carry out threats to hurt you,

threaten to take your life,

threaten to report you
to a government agency,

or threaten to make a false
accusation against you

if you go against their wishes.

Another tool for understanding abuse

is the cycle of violence.

Domestic violence often
happens in a cycle,

but this cycle can look
different in every relationship.

The cycle begins with the honeymoon phase.

During this time,

you and your partner may
become very close emotionally.

Your partner may make you
feel special, important,

cared for, and safe.

Once the honeymoon phase
starts to fade away,

the cycle can move into
the tension-building phase.

This can be a period of growing pressure,

mood swings, demands, or rejection.

The power and control
behaviors mentioned earlier

start to emerge.

You may feel like you're
walking on eggshells,

and you can tell that
something is about to happen.

Once the tension reaches a breaking point,

the cycle moves on to the explosive stage.

This is when abusers become violent.

The explosive episodes can be physical,

like pushing, grabbing, or punching.

They can also be more high risk
like choking or strangling.

An explosive incident

may also not include
any physical violence,

but instead involve verbal abuse,

making threats, or carrying out threats.

However, the explosive
phase doesn't last forever.

The cycle eventually returns
to the honeymoon phase,

where your partner may
bring you gifts, apologize,

give you physical affection,
and make promises to change.

During this phase,

it feels like everything is back to normal

or that the relationship can begin again.

Over time, though, the honeymoon
phase may become shorter,

or fade entirely, and the
abuse may become more severe.

Why does the cycle continue?

Most relationships are based on love,

and people may have hope that
things will change in time

or go back to the way they were.

Many people may not realize
this kind of behavior is abuse,

and they may also be
afraid of what might happen

if they try to leave.

Remember, it is not unusual
to be in this cycle.

And if you are, you are not alone.

No one deserves to be hurt.

Let us help.

Advocates are available
to assist and support you.

For help in Nashville,

please call or come to
the Family Safety Center.

For help outside of Nashville,

reach out to the National
Domestic Violence Hotline.

(soft music)