Hadh Kardi Aapne {HD} - Govinda - Rani Mukerji - Johnny Lever - Hindi Full Comedy Movie

Now that you have dared
to challenge me..

..be ready to face
the reality.

I have never come across a
deceitful woman like you.

You are not loyal yourself.
-Order! Order! Order!

Screaming and yelling
is contempt of court.

Your lawyers will speak for you.

Where is your lawyer?

Sorry sir.
Neem Carrey reporting sir.

Sorry Sir, sorry.

Why did you slip inside
the court this way?

Your Honour,
I am a slippery character.

My neighbours say that's our
family inborn quality.

Once my father slipped
in the muck..

..and directly entered the court.

Suddenly he realised,
he had forgotten..

..to pay my mother for the
household expenses.

My mother was in the bathroom.

She slipped on the washing soap,
and came directly to the court.

And that's why, as a lawyer..

..I will see the end of Sanjay Khanna.
-What?

I mean, achieve your goal.

Because I know..

..you want to divorce your wife
Anjali Khanna at any cost.

And I will get you that.
-Yes your honour.

I cannot stay with
this woman now.

No one can.

He is not human.
-What?

He is an angel.
She's not fit for him.

Your honour,
I am fed up of this man myself.

You cannot argue in the court.

Do you have a lawyer?

Your honour.

I am Anjali Khanna's advocate.
Ram Carrey reporting.

What have you done to yourself?

Why don't you do something
about it?

Sir, what else do you want him to do?

There's no limit.

He has done this to himself.

I know everything.
It's my son Neem Carrey's doings.

Your honour, he knew that
I was winning this case.

And so he locked me
up in the bathroom.

But truth can never stay locked up.
I broke open the door.

Look, it even tore my clothes.
Take a look at my condition.

Your honour, my first charge on
the night of January the 7th.

Mrs. Anjali Khanna was with
Mr. Menon in Hilton Hotel.

You are wrong.

On the night of 7th January
Anjali was not with Mr. Menon.

In fact, she was with Mr. Kanan.

Carrey uncle.
-Did I overdo it?

Your honour, who is this Kanan?

You are defending the case,
and you don't know who Kanan is?

Chandan's brother, Kanan.
-Who is Chandan?

Manan's son, Chandan.
-Who is Manan?

Babban's neighbour.

But your honour what
relation does..

..the neighbour have
with this case?

Your honour,
this fool doesn't know anything.

Actually, Anjali doesn't have
any affair with anyone.

He's the one having an affair.

Last week, he presented..

..Sunzina with a diamond necklace
worth 1.1 million rupees.

Wrong. It wasn't worth
1.1 million rupees.

Mr. Khanna gifted a necklace
worth Rs.1100. That's all.

What are you saying?

Note that your honour.
He presented her the necklace.

That means he has an affair
with Suzina too.

Not just Suzina,
he has an affair with Melina too.

Who is Melina?

The one who came with Lilina.
-Who is Lilina?

Tina's neighbour.

But son what relation does the
neighbour have with this case?

The same way Chandan,
Manan and Babban do, Daddy.

Don't try to be smart,
understand.

Your honour.

He's a complete fool. And still
wants to defend this case.

But, currently his wife has an affair
with eleven people.

And her husband is having
his 25th affair.

25 affairs.
You think that's possible, Sir.

Is he the grandson
of Wajid Ali Shah?

He's lying.
Has gone completely crazy.

He resorted to tearing clothes.

His own and others too.
Take a look.

Both the parties couldn't
prove the truth.

And the court cannot
give its verdict..

..without concrete evidence.

And that's why, the court grants
your one months time.

Within a month,
you will have to gather evidence.

That will prove this madam wrong.

And Madan,
within this one month..

..try to gather some
evidence that..

..will prove this mister wrong.

Only then will the court
give its verdict.

Whether you should be permitted
to get divorce or not.

I have to gather evidence
within a month. But how?

The court has really
got me in a fix.

How will this happen, Uncle?

You cannot catch him red-handed
because he meets girls slyly.

Tell me Uncle, what can I do?

Tell him that you are going to
Europe for 15-20 days. -Yes.

This way,
he won't fear you catching him.

And he will meet the
girls openly.

And instead of going to Europe..

..you can stay here and
catch him red-handed.

But won't he know that I am right
here and not in Europe.

He won't? Send one of your
friends in your place.

Uncle, this can be arranged.

I had a friend in college,
Anjali Khanna.

At that time,
I was Anjali Kapoor.

After marrying this idiot,
I have become Anjali Khanna.

And so, Anjali Khanna
will go on this tour.

Sister,
the groom's family has arrived.

And the boy looks so handsome.
-Quiet.

Even our grocery seller is good
looking for you. -Yes.

Listen, get the tea tray.

And then watch Anjali
work her magic. -Wow.

Attention, sister is coming.

Come dear, come.

This is Mr. Sharma.

Mrs. Sharma.
And their son, Monty.

Bless you. -Bless you, Dear.

Greetings.

Are you winking at me?
-It's habitual.

Please come with me.
To that corner.

I want to talk to you in private.
Please come.

Go on son, go.

Here. Have some tea. -Thank you.

Why are you hands trembling
so much?

I had too much to drink last
night. -You drink too. -Yes.

Half a bottle every night.
-Half a bottle.

Yes. But if I am in the mood,
I finish the entire bottle.

She is a drunkard.

You will know my qualities
once we get married.

By the way,
what is the number of your flat?

107. -Really! That means,
today if I place a bet..

..on number one and seven,
I am sure to win. -You gamble.

So does my daddy.
-What?

Yes. But don't tell mummy
about your flat number. -Why?

Actually,
mummy likes to bet on horses.

The number of your flat is 107.

And my mummy will bet everything
on horses one and seven.

Oh God. That's too bad.

That's nothing. There's something
even worse. -What's that?

My uncle.
-Yes.

He takes contracts.
-Constructions.

Murders.

(Whistling)

The only thing missing in
this family is a dacoit.

Not for long. -What?

Once we get married.
And then..when he's born.

We will send him to Chambal
for training.

Daddy. -Yes, Son.
-What's wrong?

Mummy. -What happened, Son?
-Let's leave, quickly.

Before we land in some trouble.
Let's go.

But what's wrong? -I have heard
everything too. Let's leave.

Fine then, we are leaving. Goodbye.
-Please listen to me.

My wife has heard everything.

And I don't want to hear
anything else. Come on.

Brother. -It was such a nice proposal.
The boy works for CID.

Daddy, Mummy, Uncle.

You know, everything in my life
has been of my choice.

Then, how can I marry
a boy of your choice?

I will marry only someone
of my choice.

Or else I won't get married.

That's why I put up this charade.
- Very good! Bravo!

We were putting up a charade too.
-What?

We knew that you were
just acting.

My son is a CID officer.
-And I am ready for this marriage.

Oh no.
-Oh yes.

I don't want to get
married right now.

(Car horn)

(Car approaching)

Anjali. -Anjali. -Anjali.

I am in a real problem.
Please help me.

But Anjali, how can I help
you in getting a divorce?

I want to catch Sanjay
red-handed.

So you want me to flirt
with your husband.

And you will click photographs
of us together.

And present them in the court.

Not really. I will go after him.
-Then, why do you need me?

Anjali. I will let Sanjay know..

..that I am leaving for
a tour of Europe.

But instead,
you will go in my place.

He will become relaxed.
And, I will catch him red handed.

Brilliant. This will solve
both our problems.

And I can get away from
these marriage hassles.

Okay, done.
I am booking the ticket.

(Keypad tones)

(Telephone rings)

Come in.

(Telephone rings)

Hello.
-Hello.

Come on. Where to?

Sangeeta, my dear.

But we are supposed to
go out in the evening.

This is my working time.
Why go now?

This is Anjali Khanna speaking,
and not Sangeeta.

Khanna.
-No dear, I don't do such things.

Chela Ramani,
fix your hearing aide.

What did you say?
What should I get fixed?

I get it. My hearing aide.
It has a lose connection.

It's Anjali Khanna speaking.

Anjali.
Sister-in-law, now I know.

Tell me, why did you call?
-Listen.

I want one ticket
for Europe tour.

You don't get cakes here,
Sister-in-law.

This is a travel agency.

Now, if you wish to have the cake
of Taj, then visit the Taj.

If you desire to have the cake
of Monginis, then go there.

Oh God, there seems to be
a loose contact again.

Wire..

Sister-in-law, you want a ticket.
You will get it.

Thank you very much.

Touch. I don't get one thing.

Why does every person say,
touch after saying thank you?

Are you going somewhere?
-Yes.

Where are you going?
-Europe, on a tour.

When are you leaving?
-Tomorrow.

And you didn't even inform me.

We don't tell each other
much these days.

She's going on a Europe
tour tomorrow.

And she's letting me know today.
-Listen to me. Come here.

You are lucky that she
did inform you.

What would you have done if she hadn't?
-What could I have done?

Oh my God, try to understand.
-She won't be going alone.

Her boyfriend must
be along with her.

Sir, this is your chance.
Follow her.

And catch her red-handed.
-Fool.

She won't interact with her
boyfriend freely in front of me.

Oh my God, I can't believe it.

You can say something
so intelligent.

Carrey, that's too much.
-Okay. No problem.

Now I understand your problem.

You will have to send
James Bond after her.

Only he can solve your problem.

Handsome.
Smart. Dashing. Piercing eyes.

I know someone. I know someone.

He studied in my college.

He's a fantastic man
like James Bond.

He can do this.
-Where is he? Who is he?

He stays in Mumbai. Raj Malhotra.

Raj! Where is he these days?

(Car drifts)

"I am restless..
so restless to fall in love."

"I want this wait
to end forever."

"Where do I look for her?"

"Here there, everywhere."

"I am restless..
so restless to fall in love."

"I want this wait
to end forever."

"I am waiting for someone
to steal my heart."

"Comes running straight
into my arms."

"When will our paths cross?"

"When will I fall in
love with someone?"

"When will our paths cross?"

"When will I fall in
love with someone?"

"Someone..just pierces my heart."

"I am restless..
so restless to fall in love."

"I am fed up of the sleepless
nights and the loneliness."

"I am fed up of the sleepless
nights and the loneliness."

"I wish to be in someone's
company."

"To kiss someone."

"I wish to be in someone's
company."

"To kiss someone."

"I wish for a girl that
can dwell in my heart."

"To play the game of love..

..it doesn't matter whether
I win or lose."

"Where do I look for her?"

"Here there, everywhere."

"I am restless..
so restless to fall in love."

"This time I want this
wait to end forever."

Raj. Hey Raj. Is anybody there?

Raj.
-Come in.

Good day.

Stupid. You have come so
late to repair the fan.

Don't you know the fan
is not working?

This is not right.
Come on, repair the fan. -Fan.

Exactly.

I have been calling
you since morning.

This is not right?
Come on, repair the fan.

But, I am.. -I don't want
to know. Repair the fan.

It's has been making a clanging
noise since yesterday night. Repair it.

Listen to me.. -I don't want
to know. Repair the fan.

Being a mechanic, you have come
wearing a suit. -Mechanic.

Me, a mechanic.
-You think you are the manager.

That enough from you.
Will you repair the fan, or not?

Repair it quickly. I got it
as a gift in my marriage.

It hasn't been working properly.
-But I..

Will you repair it or not.
-No I won't.

Will you repair it or not.
-No I won't.

Then I will have to call my son,
Somu. Somu.

Where is the rooster?

Tell me.

Where is the rooster, Mother?

This one. Him.

What's that thing?
-That's not a thing?

He's my son, Somu.

You know he's a drunkard and
keeps sleeping around all day

But if he fires with
his shivering hands.

You will never know where
the bullet hit you.

Repair the fan.
-What have I gotten myself into?

Somu.
-Where is the rooster?

Where is it? Here?

Here!

Repair the fan.
Or else, Somu shoot him.

How can I? I don't have tools.

How stupid!
You don't even carry your tools.

Wait, I will give you my tools.

Or else, better yet pick up the
one's lying on the floor.

Here. Here. I will. I will
repair the fan. Here.

Parvati!

Nirma. Bring the drink.

Who wants the drink?

Excuse me.

Yes!

Drink.

I will repair your fan today.

Let us go. We will come back
once the fan is repaired.

(Coughs)

(Gasps)

(Gasps)

What are you doing?

The fan is not working.
-What are you doing? Stop it!

Look at me. I am only 36.
-What?

Not my age, that's my size.

36-36-36.

Hey.
-No hey or A...

..B.. C.. D.. E..

Mummy...

What happened?
-This one ran away too.

Don't worry.
Your brother Raj is a detective.

He will run into him somewhere.
-Everyone is crazy.

Sanjay! No, I won't talk to you.

You thought about this friend
after a long time.

Surely you must be in some trouble.
-I really am in big trouble.

I want divorce from my wife.

You didn't invite me
for your marriage.

Didn't even introduce
me to sister-in-law.

And now when you want divorce,
you have come seeking my help.

Why? Am I the court?
-I went to the court.

But the court wants evidence
of my wife's affairs.

So you need a friend who can
be a detective for you.

Raj, I know you are a
dashing detective.

I remember.
During our college days..

..you would solve difficult
cases in a jiffy.

I remember.
-Thank you my friend.

After that praise, I won't let
your wife harass you anymore.

Where can I find Sister-in-law?

She's leaving for
a tour of Europe.

Get my ticket booked
in the same flight..

..and arrange for some money,
and come to the airport.

Don't worry my friend. I will
handle your case carefully man.

I see to it that you get divorce.

Hey man. Which way is the toilet?
-That way.

Thank you.
-Excuse me. Go that side.

I know that, I just took my cap.
-Bye.

Excuse me. Where's the toilet?
-That way, ma'am.

Thanks.

No, no, no, no.

Really. I looked for you
here and there, everywhere.

And I found you here,
in front of the toilet.

That's not possible!
-Will you please get up?

I don't want to. It's like
my dreams have come true.

Darn!

I hate you kind of men.

I love you kind of girls.
-Idiot.

Wow! Your abuses are so sweet.

So sweet.
-God, you are so stupid man.

What a beautiful girl.

Hi Anjali. -Hi Raj.

Listen. These are my wife's photographs.
-Okay.

This is your ticket.
And my mobile number.

And only you know about it.

You have your passport.
And here's your ticket. -Okay.

Just do one thing.
Keep a close watch on her.

Where she goes?
Whom does she meet?

Why does she meet?
-Don't worry.

I am the James Bond of our group.

I will keep such a close
watch on her..

..that, even though she tries
to do something covertly.

Either she will be caught
red-handed, or get a clean chit.

Okay, bye.
-No, listen to me.

Now we cannot contact each other.

So you better take care of yourself.
-Alright.

This is not a place to meet.
In this bathroom -Bye, see you.

That's why,
I want to get married.

So I don't have to see
all this nonsense.

Really.
-Shut up.

Appeal plus lust. -I never came
across an idiot like you.

Fire plus poetry.
-Get up.

You are such a lovable person..
- I said, get up.

Stupid.

Wow. She's beautiful.

Hey! Where's my envelope?

Squeeze me. I mean, excuse me.

What is it?
-Well. -What?

Thanks.

Your Mickey is very lucky.
-Why?

He's so close to you.

Sorry. Your hat.

So Pappi.
You are going on a foreign tour..

..for the first time in your life.
-Yes.

Did your dad ever go to a foreign tour?

My father would have
gone if your mother had.

Shut your mouth. And sit here.

I will just inquire about our flight.
Listen. Be careful.

Why? You think someone will
steal me from the airport?

Only a fool will steal you.
-Mind your words!

What a beauty.

Hello.
-Hello.

Will you please get up?
-Why?

You are sitting on my handkerchief.
-Oh, sorry.

It's not there.
Anyway, take your seat.

I will sit and talk with you.

Are you going on Golden Travel's
Europe Tour? -Yes.

I am going on the same tour.
Nice meeting you.

You don't have to worry
about anything..

..in Europe as long
as I am there.

If you need anything,

call me at midnight
and I will be there.

If you are facing any problem,
call me at midnight.

and I will be there.
-Hey man. Hey. Leave her hand.

The tickets are sold there.
If any Englishman troubles you,

Call me at midnight..
-Just a minute.

Why do you do everything
at midnight?

Do you sleep during the day?
-Why are you concerned?

Actually,
I married her 12 years ago.

Why are you arguing for something
that happened 12 years ago?

I am her husband. And you are
flirting with a married woman.

I.. Sister-in-law, good day.

That's a completely new twist.

I am Chaudhary.
-And I am Bhaidas Bhai.

And she's Bhaidas Behn. For you.
-Actually, I am Dimple.

Oh really.

You two look really nice together.
Don't misunderstand me.

Because,
I have a personal wife myself.

Look, there she is..

So, you are coming with us on
Golden Travel's Europe tour?

Yes.

That's just amazing..

If you are facing any problem.

Call me at midnight.
And I will be there.

laughs.

If you need anything.
Call me at midnight.

Call me at midnight.
And I will be there.

If any Englishman troubles you.
Call me at midnight.

I will be there.
-Excuse me.

Why do you do everything
at midnight?

Do you sleep during the day?
-Why does it concern you?

Why shouldn't I,
we got married 12 years ago.

Why are you arguing for something
that happened 12 years ago?

Forget it.
-How can I forget it?

She's my wife.

Sister-in-law. Hello.
-Hello.

I noticed that she's alone, and..
-Alone.

She's never alone. She's
always two persons in one

And when she is with me,
there's four persons.

Come on, let's go from here.

The luggage and the trolley.
-Forget the trolley.

Your brother will bring it along.
Follow us with the trolley.

Brother.

Daddy, you were on your
way to the toilet,

But you are flirting around here.
Let me call mummy. -Quiet.

(Door opens)

I hope you are safely leaving
with your entire luggage? -Yes.

You know what you have to do in
this mission. -Don't worry.

And you don't worry.
I will join you soon. -Okay.

What a beautiful airhostess.

I am sorry. Very sorry.
-You are welcome.

Are you hurt?

That's fine. I don't mind at all.

That's very good.
It's good to be such a sport.

Naughty boy.

This journey is going to
be really cumbersome.

No, I am just 45 kilos.
-Direct attack.

Is she the one?
No, she couldn't be. She can be.

No, she can't be. Whether she's
sister-in-law, or not.

Whoever she is,
I have to be a bit careful.

What's this?
It's better than first class.

Idiot.
-Excuse me. I am sorry.

You didn't say you are welcome.
That's okay.

Sometimes eyes say what
the lips cannot.

The eyes have said it all.
What is your good name? -Shut up!

That's not a good name.
Please change it.

It looks like we will
get along very well.

Can I sit here? I will sit here.

Before anyone takes advantage
of this opportunity.

I don't want to miss the train.

All passengers are requested to..
-That's okay, baby.

Baby...

You don't need that.

If the plane swaggers, you can
hold on to me. I don't mind.

Will you please keep quiet?
-That's all right.

You missed the shot.

Again you missed the shot.

Be gentle, I know it must hurt.

Excuse me! Is anyone here?
This passenger is irritating me.

Don't worry, I am there.

Come and sit on my seat,
and I will sit there.

That won't be necessary.
I will come and sit on your seat.

You can come here,
and sit besides her.

Bye sweetheart.

Stupid.

Now I will make sure
no one touches you.

Nonsense. I will not spare him.

Nonsense. I.. Where are you from?

From Delhi or Jalander?
-Ludhiana.

Ludhiana. You are from Ludhiana.

You are from Ludhiana. Now,
no one can touch you like this.

No one can touch you like this,
or like this.

I will see to it that
no one does.

No one can touch your
cheeks like this.

No one can touch your
thighs like this.

And this..I won't let anyone
do this to you.

I won't let anyone do anything,
you just watch. -Thank you.

What would I have
done without you?

Just think what can happen with me.
-What do you mean?

I mean we Punjabis have a
style to see-off someone.

We have a very warm feeling.

We bid adieu and embrace
the person like this.

Good bye. Bye. -Excuse me.
-You are acting too smart.

All Punjabi's are smart.
That's not new.

Do you want one more,
or was that enough?

Let that warm feeling flow.

Hello.
-Excuse me.

Behave yourself.
-Let that warm feeling flow.

It's nothing wrong.
-Airhostess. Airhostess.

Yes madam.

This man is worse than
the earlier one.

Please change my seat.
-Please come with me.

All men are like that.
-How do you know?

Shut up.
-She's calling you.

Idiot.
-Fine. All men are like that.

Ma'am, please sit here.
-Thank you.

Thank God there's no
one besides me.

Hi.
-Hi.

Wow! You are so beautiful,
so charming.

Your cheeks are so rosy red.
Your lips are so luscious.

And your neck,
it's so curvaceous.

Can I touch you like this?
Can I touch you like this?

Can I touch you like this?
-Excuse me. What are you doing?

Don't worry.
I am a female, and so are you.

I can touch anywhere,
don't stop me. Okay.

You! Oh no.

(Flight takes off)

Hello.
-Hello Sanjay, it's Raj.

Yes Raj. Did you spot my wife?

Sanjay, I made a terrible mistake.
-What is it?

You gave me an envelope with
sister-in-law's photographs.

I still have the envelope,
but I have lost her photographs.

And I didn't even take
a look at them.

That's terrible.
You lost the photographs.

It was a simple task,
but you couldn't even do that.

Sorry, it's my habit.
Fine, do me a favour.

Tell me what had sister-in-law had worn.
-Hold on just a minute.

Carrey, what had she worn?

A shroud.
-Shroud!

Of your death.

I am asking you what
she had worn.

You dropped her at the airport,
not me.

You shut up.
-Okay.

I am totally confused. Hello Raj.

I don't even get to
see her frequently,

how can I remember
what she had worn?

Don't worry my friend, I am
a keen observer myself.

I will find her out.

My husband, my foot.

I have filed for a divorce
in the Indian court.

Filed a divorce case.
She's the sister-in-law!

Yes. Darling, nothing can keep
us apart now. -I will.

Okay.

Bye darling.

Hi. -Hi.

I am sorry.

You are welcome.
-But I will not come.

But I am open.
-But I am closed.

You are late. -Sister-in-law,
I will follow you till the end.

Excuse me. I said you are late.
-Really.

Hi dudes.
I am Raj Malhotra from Mumbai.

M for me, and B for baby.
-Oh my God.

He won't stop following me.

Now I will have to tolerate
him throughout the trip.

You might have to tolerate
me all your life.

Because, usually journeyers
become companions.

You want me to alight
from this bus.

No, I want you to climb on top
of this bus and scream.

You can imitate Tarzan very well.
-Was that a joke?

We haven't even begun
our journey..

..and you have already
started arguing.

He has been flirting with
me from the airport.

What are you saying?
What a strange man. Strange.

Aren't you ashamed of
flirting with a girl?

Really.
I am flirting with the girl.

And who is the one
you are touching?

What happened?
-What is your problem?

Why touching my wife?
Why touching my wife?

Keep your hands in control.

If I lose control,
it will be painful to you.

Not again.

Really.

Can I have one lasagne,
one spaghetti with napoli..

..and one tortellini with alapana?
-Sure ma'am.

Excuse me do you have Dairy
milk chocolates?

I am sorry ma'am we don't have
Dairy milk chocolates.

Alright, thanks.
-Thank you.

You sir.
-No, I don't want to see that.

Can I have one lasagne,
one spaghetti with napoli..

..and one alapana?
-Okay.

Do you have some chocolates?

Don't get them.
-Alright.

Excuse me.
-Yes.

Are you teasing me?

No, I am not teasing you.
Why would I tease you?

In fact I appreciate you a lot.
You know why?

You play the mandolin
really well.

And I know you are dying to
praise me as well.

Because I play the mouth
organ so well.

But you won't do that,
because you are a very shy girl.

By the way..

..I never came across anyone that
plays the mouthorgan so bad.

Oh really. -Yes. -My mother
tells me the same thing.

Your thoughts are so similar.

If a beautiful girl
like you accepts..

..to become her daughter-in-law.

They you will never
have any qualms.

"Sometimes, I think..

..in my heart.
What is he doing?

There he is madam.
-Hi.

It's so good to see you.
-Hi baby.

This is your parcel.
-Thanks.

Excuse me,
can I make a call please.

Not today. No.

I was just taking your blessings.

I thought you wanted to beat me.

I have fasted for you today.
-What's that?

A wife that sincerely
loves her husband..

..fasts for his long life.

Do you truly love me?
-Yes.

No chance of divorce then.

What?
- Nothing.

Hello.

Hello. Hey brother,
there's a good news for you.

Why, did my father-in-law
just pass away?

I want to tell you about your
wife, not in-laws.

Your wife.

Listening it would be as hard
for you as swallowing a cactus.

Swallowing a cactus?
What has she done?

What has she done!
She's having an affair.

Who is it? Who would want to
end his life so tragically?

Who is it?
-It's a Whiteman.

Marriage with a Blackman and
affair with a Whiteman.

Are you listening to me?

I am. Keep reporting to me.
I will deal with her later.

The report is that..

..today your wife gave a
gift to her boyfriend.

Gift.
Fast for me and gift for him!

That's what's been going on.

She goes out with one,
embraces the second..

..eyes the third,
and flirts with the fourth.

She is quite a cunning woman.

She is going according
to her size.

Now I will make her plight such..

..that the police will
take me with honour.

Who is that Whiteman?
-Which Whiteman?

The one whom you gave that gift,
and have an affair with.

I don't have an affair.

You are having an affair.
You are having an affair. -Yes.

Yes, I have an affair,
with just one. -Who?

You!

I know that. But who is that Whiteman?
-I don't know.

She says she doesn't know.
Who are you?

Here is your mobile phone.
You have taken my mobile mistakenly.

Gina, Meena, Tina..such useless
girls have been calling up.

And they say, "Darling, meet
me at 4 o'clock."

"Darling, meet me at 8 o'clock."
-What?

So many girls call you.
-They are all divorce cases.

Oh, really!

Now I get it,
why you stay so busy these days.

She's going to smack me down!
-Hello. Hello. Hello.

Yes Raj. That was my lawyer
Neem Carrey. -Oh God.

Friend, your wife has a boyfriend even
in Europe. -Listen carefully.

Take some pictures of her
with her boyfriend.

So that I can prove
in the court that..

..my wife is a characterless
woman.

I just want the proof.
-Okay, my brother.

I will awaken the
detective inside me..

..and return to India
with the proof.

Sanjay's wife has crossed
all the limits.

I will gather all the proofs.

That's the room.

That means I will really
have to use my brains.

Yes.

(Dog barks)

No. No.

Hey! Get lost. What's this madness?

What's this insanity?

I don't like this. No.

Don't spoil my image, baby.

No! Okay.

You are acting smart with me.
Okay.

See, I have brains.

Bye.

Oh, my darling. I love you sweetheart.
-Yes, sweetheart.

Once you get divorced, then we
will be one baby. -Yes, honey.

Sister-in-law,
what are you doing?

Someone is taking photographs.
-Hold this.

Who is it? Who is it?

Okay.
-Who is it? Who is it?

Who is it?

They are trying to act smart
with me, with bond No. 1.

Who is it?

Who is it?

(Remote beeps)

What channel is this!

Darling, get me some more wine.

Change the channel.
-Yes.

What?

What are you doing, man?

I don't like this man.
Change the channel, man!

In the same way, that my
life is entwined in yours

Our love is gaining strength...

My lips are meeting yours

and that is making our enemy very jealous

The clouds have parted

water is leaking drop by drop

The clouds have parted
water is leaking drop by drop.

The clouds have parted
water is leaking drop by drop.

Oh, no!

Come on the queen of my heart, we will
sing songs and fly with the birds.

You and I have now become one
water is leaking drop by drop

He is not the T.V man.
-Of course I am not the T.V man.

I am a man from V.T. And don't
tell him a big detective.

He is a detective. -Take the camera.
-Don't touch the camera.

I want to keep that.
Give it to my friend.

Give it to me.
-He wants to divorce this lady.

I got it. I got it darling.
-Hey, don't do that. Please.

Hey man. Hey, come here.

Why isn't the bus moving?

Has its tyres been stolen?
Why not moving?

Same damn problem!
Same passenger late again!

He has literally hijacked the bus.
-It's so late.

Save your energy to
scream on him.

What the hell is this?
You are late again. -Really.

I am sorry again.
Very sorry everybody.

Very sorry. Chill out.
-What sorry. It's getting so late.

What's this sorry?
-I said sorry.

It's okay. -Everyone was getting
angry. But I remained calm.

Really, thanks a ton.
-Unpunctual.

Really.

It's getting very boring.
-What do you expect?

Boring partners, boring journey.

Not you, baby.
-I will say a poem.

Hand me the mirror,
I want to talk to him.

You can just forget it,
and let me tell a poem.

Hey. Let's all enjoy. Hello,
everybody. Listen to him.

Let's have some fun.

So, its goes like this.
-Yes.

One bird said to the other.
-Oh Wow. -Bird. Bird.

Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
-How many of them are there?

Let's talk about the sweet
nothings, what say!

"One bird said to the other.
-What say!"

"Let's talk about the sweet nothings
-What say!"

"One bird said to the other.
-What say!"

"Let's talk about the sweet nothings
-What say!"

"Countless desires in the heart."

"Just like the sea in a drop."

"What say! What say!"

"One bird said to the other.
-What say!"

"Let's talk about the sweet nothings
-What say!"

"This foreign is so exotic."

"Just like our own country."

"This foreign is so exotic."

"Just like our own country."

"That's why I suggest."

"When in Rome,
do as the Romans do."

"That's why. That's why I
have forsaken my cap."

"And worn this hat."

"What say!"

"One bird said to the other.
-What say!"

"Let's talk about the sweet nothings
-What say!"

"You might have broken
many hearts."

"But my heart is not that
easily breakable."

"I will make you fall for me,
or else I am not a true lover."

"Wow"

"Don't gaze at me like that,
damsel."

"I am not a celibate."

"Don't gaze at me like that,
damsel."

"I am not a celibate."

"Or else,
I might fall in love with you."

"Or else I may.."

"I may enter your heart through
your helpless eyes."

"What say!"

"One bird said to the other.
-What say!"

"Let's talk about the sweet nothings
-What say!"

"I have come across many
lovers like you."

"They keep following me,
all the way to their doom."

"That's well said."

"It's not right to be
so enthusiastic."

"It's not right to be
so enthusiastic."

"But you are not in your senses."

"Bothering me will only
invite trouble.."

"..for you."It's not my fault."

"Whether anyone drowns
of goes across."

"The sea has to keep flowing."

"What say!"

Panasonic. Wow. Very nice

Wow!

I feel this tape... Keep this properly.
-It's proper.

If you buy this tape recorder..

..the music from it will be
really soothing for your ears.

No, I don't like the colour.
-But it's a very nice colour.

But it doesn't match with
my bedroom colour.

It will match the colour
of your bedroom.

I don't want it.
-What?

Tape recorder.
-What? This!

Bhaidas Bhai, you!
-Yes, me.

What are you trying
to do with my wife?

Sister-in-law, is it wrong to
give someone a suggestion?

No, it's wrong to touch other's
wife while giving suggestions.

Sinner.
-Do you want me to stay away from her?

Do you wish to stay close to her?

You think I am a characterless man?

You are what you don't
seem to be.

Sister-in-law, I have decided..

..I won't pay heed to anything he says.

That's not a problem.

It's your intentions that I fear.
Stop looking at her.

Let's go, don't you understand
he is a characterless man.

But I didn't want the tape recorder.
-Sister-in-law.

If you want that girl
to fall for you..

..then gift this dress to her.

And ask her to meet you tonight.
-And then watch.

Will she fall for me?
-I gifted her swimming costume.

Quiet! what are you saying?

Really!
-Yes.

Excuse me.

Hi.
-Hi.

If you accept this gift, and call
me at 9 o'clock at night,

I will know that you have
understood my intentions.

And together with our
understanding..

..we will teach the
world something.

The world will understand with
their understanding..

..that with a lot of
understandings..

..our understanding is very
similar.

And with our understanding..

..we should have done
thing long ago.

But even with all that
understanding we did it quite later.

But we did it. Did you understand
what I meant to say?

Okay.

A small okay,
after that long speech!

How nice!
But, don't let this stop here.

Because this is the beginning of
our love. I am leaving now.

We will meet after a
thoughtful break.

But listen,
don't forget to call me.

And don't forget to ring me.

9 o'clock at night.

(Telephone rings)

Hello.
-Oh hi, Raj.

I have been waiting for you.

9:00 -9:30! 9:30 -9:45! 9:50!
9:55! 9:57! 9:58! 9:59!

Please come wearing
those clothes.

Listen, have you worn clothes?

I mean, have you worn the clothes
that I gifted you?

Yes. I have worn that dress.
-You have.

How are you looking?

Simply mind-blowing.

Oh, no!
I am ready to lose my senses.

I am ready to take the fall.

Yes, I know you will fall.

That sentence didn't sound right.

What did you say? Come again.

I mean.. Room No. 2072.

Okay. 207..

But your room number was 2073.

Such meetings shouldn't be
held in the same rooms.

Oh, wow!
Romance with intelligence!

I am coming, baby.
-Come baby, come.

Your husband is coming.
Raj, you are gone.

Hello.
-Your wife is ready..

..and she's looking like
Hawaiian beauty.

Oh, I am coming.
-Come baby, come.

Lights off!

Wow! Door is open.

I thought she wanted to
meet me in solitude.

But she wants to meet
me in the dark!

Alluring damsel!

Beautiful enchantress!

My queen! Symbol of love!

You are good-looking
beyond words.

Darling.

-Darling, just two chocolates
have changed your size!

(Speaking in foreign language)

What!

(Speaking in foreign language)

(Imitating her language)

Darling,
you have a great sense of humour.

(Intense background score)

Lights off!

The queen of my..

(Speaking in foreign language)

(Speaking in foreign language)

(Indistinct)

(Speaking in foreign language)

(Indistinct)

Hey, who are you?
And who is she? By mistake.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

(Punching)

(Punching)

Oh!

(Punching)

(Punching)

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!

(Punching)

Is this the way!

Humanity is no more these days.

Doesn't a person have
some respect?

What is this?

Can't a man make a mistake?

What a man! Where do they
make such men in Africa..

..and that wife of his.. Black widow.

Both of them have thrashed me
black and blue for a damsel.

Actually, It's a bad system.

The government should devise
a system of where to hit.

You can hit where it's allowed.

But why hit where you shouldn't.

There should be a system.

I would've banned such things if I could.

Hi.
- Hi.

I didn't mean that. Who is it?

You! I will never forgive you.
-Why?

You got me beat up so badly.

I will teach you a lesson.
No, I will make you fall for me.

Anjali. Dear, where are you?
-Uncle Carrey, I am taking a bath.

Finish that later,
come out quickly.

Look, I have got proof.
Now he cannot escape.

Come out, dear.

First, pay me my fees.

Show me.
-Take a look.

But the face is not visible.
-But you can see the tresses.

Yes, that's right!
-It's him, alright.

But the face...
-You cannot see the face..

..but you can see
his yellow shirt.

Try to recognise him with his shirt.
-Yes uncle..

..but the court would ask to
see his face too.

Dear, why see the
face of a person..

..that flirts around
with everyone.

I agree to what you say,
but I hate his face.

Next time, I will get his
photograph with his face.

Dear, give me thirty thousand.

Thirty thousand! -Yes, it's
official evidence. Hence, It's expensive.

I charge others my entire fees.

But I charge you only
30 instead of 50.

Hi.
-Hi.

I am so glad you have come, darling.

How are you?

Second one!
-Come on, let's go.

There's so much filth in the world!
Sanjay, here I come.

Phone. Phone.

Excuse me, can I..make the call.

Hello.
-No.

Your wife is
like public property.

Just like everyone takes
advantage of a public property.

Similarly, your wife has a
boyfriend at every station.

That's not my wife you
are talking about.

This report is for Sanjay.

You again, nonsense.

I am not nonsense.
I make complete sense.

That's why I am a divorce lawyer.

You are a total nonsense.
And you make no sense.

Wow! What a composition!

Nonsense, no sense. Very good.

You like poems like me.

Will you give the phone
to Sanjay or not?

Give me the message I
will pass it to him.

I don't talk to the middleman.

I am not the middleman!

I have a stout wife.
Eleven skinny children.

And preparing for the 12th one.

Give the phone to Sanjay or
else I will blow you away.

Control yourself. Just a minute.

I think everybody is..
-Sorry to disturb. Sir.

Urgent call sir, from Europe.
Please take this sir.

What is this Carrey?

Why are you disturbing me?

Sir, call from Europe.
-Raj. Come on.

Raj!

Yes Raj.
-Hello Sanjay.

Your wife has a second boyfriend.

Carrey,
she has a second boyfriend.

She's very talented!
We should commend sister-in-law.

One husband and two boyfriends.
Oh my God.

Are your wives so daring?
-Carrey, do they understand?

They can't speak English properly.

How can they understand Hindi?

Am I right, sir?
-Yes.

See that!
-Hello Raj, what did she do next?

What did she do next?

She flirted with her more and gave him a
bigger gift than her previous boyfriend.

Gift! What was it?
-I think it was a T.V.

My wife gave him a T.V.

Fantastic! Tape recorder to the
first one, and T.V to the second.

She will gift a car to the third
and what can you do about it?

You shut up!

Why are you narrating
my wife's escapades..

..and adding to my injury?

I want proof. Last time, you
failed to bring me the proof.

What if you fail this time too?

Then you can blacken
Neem Carrey's face.

Did you understand anything?

Yes!
-Yes, what?

His wife, boyfriends, T.V,
tape recorder, gifts.

They understood everything.
I curse them.

Where is everybody, man?
Where have they gone?

Sir, there is a card for you.
-Yes?

Happy Valentine's Day!
-Thank you.

Welcome!
-Thank you!

Dear Raj,
today is Valentine's Day

and no other day can
be better than..

..this for two people in love.

We all are purposely leaving
you both alone..

..so that both of you can
understand each other better.

Wow! That's a great idea, man!

Bhaidas Bhai, Chaudhary and Bakhiyani.

Raj!
-Yes! Yes!

Where has the bus gone
leaving us here?

What?
-Bus!

Oh yes! That bus! Today is
Valentine's Day, isn't it? -So?

So all the couples are
busy romancing.

Maybe they wish that we two
should also romance. -What?

I don't believe in this.
You know why?

I feel those who do not have time
they celebrate such days.

Valentine's Day and all.

I feel everyday is
a Valentine's Day.

Every hour is a Valentine hour.

Every minute is a
Valentine minute.

Every second is a
Valentine second.

Can a flirt like you ever talk
such sweet things about love?

Impossible! I don't believe it!

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you."

"You thought I fell
in love with you."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you."

"You came with a palanquin
to my house."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"Whether you accept it or
not but you are guilty."

"What else is the meaning
of teasing a girl?"

"Whether you accept it or
not but you are guilty."

"What else is the meaning
of teasing a girl?"

"You are asking for my love as if
you are asking for charity."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you."

"My dear, come and be friends
and forget anger."

"We both can fall
in love one day."

"My dear, come and be friends
and forget anger."

"We both can fall
in love one day."

"Such a day or night will
never ever arise."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

Oh yeah!

Wow!

Wow!

Hey, no! No! No! No!

(Water splashes)

(Sneezing)

Look here, Mr. Raju!

Just by falling once in the
lake, this has happened.

What will happen if you fall in love?

The one who has made
him suffer like this...

will only give her veil
to wipe his nose.

-Dimple and I got married because
of sneezing. -How? -Yes!

One day she carried a book on swimming

-to the lake for a swim.
-Yes.

After sometime she went underwater
but the book kept floating.

Mr. Chaudhary, it was good that
I reached there and saved her.

Yes! And exactly like this..just
like this I kept on sneezing.

So she gave me her veil and
said... what did you say? Tell them!

I said that today turn my veil
into a wedding drape.

Oh, my sweet wife.

Mr. Raju, you did not
get a veil but...

you definitely got a tissue
to wipe your nose.

Folks! This is a lover's point.
There is a story related to this.

-Come, follow me.
-Why should we follow you, man.

We have better things to do.
-Raj! Raj!

Listen! Where are you going?

-Are you going after Anjali?
-Yes, I am going, so?

-Have you gone crazy?
-What?

If you wish to invoke love in a girl...

-then first get near to her and
then create a distance. -What?

And then she will automatically
follow you. Yes.

But why? Why?

Come on all of you!
-Come on! Come on, come on.

Raj, you should just
make her go crazy.

(Mouth organ playing in the background)

I love these snacks.
-Yes, I know.

-Raj!
-Yes!

Everyone is having dinner.

Yes! I can see. All of them..

are eating. Yes.

So then come, even we
will have our dinner.

I am not hungry.

I had brought two plates.

Yes, there are two plates,
I can see that.

I am not hungry.

-You are not hungry?
-No!

Okay!

-Raj!
-Yes!

-Come and have your dinner! Come!
-Come!

Oh yes! You know I did not have
dinner since last night.

-I am so hungry.
-Come and sit. -Oh, my God!

You know, my mother prepares
delicious food.

-Really? -Yes! In spite of
many cartoons in the family.

And 'Kheer' she makes...
you understand Kheer, isn't it?

-Yes! Kheer!
-Kheer! Kheer! (Indian milk sweet).

She tries making different
varieties of sweet...

and tries serving all of us.
She... tries... serving...

But I don't eat.

-Okay! -You know why?
-Why?

I don't like sweet.

-I don't like sweet!
-He does not like sweet.

He does not eat sweet.

but he looks at sweets
and eats salty food.

-He does not eat. -I have prepared
it with my own hands.

He would not eat no matter how
you would have prepared it.

-Anybody wants to have this sweet?
-No! No! -No!

No one wants to have it.

Actually you... okay, let it be.

-Actually you...
-Raj, you are superb!

It will be nice if we get to eat
sweet after dinner, isn't it?

Everything is going fine.

Anjali is getting restless.
Lovely!

In a day or two she will definitely
tell you that she loves you.

-Wow! -Anjali, you too have fallen
in love with Raj, isn't it?

No!

We know that since many
days you both..

..are flirting with each other.

Such a strange man he is!
At that time he said..

..that he does not like sweet.
And now he is relishing it.

My child, you can never hide
love and fragrance.

I will tell you by giving
you an example.

On the 15th of July Pappi
and my romance commenced.

On the 16th July the entire
Bhatinda came to know...

that we are getting married
on the 17th July.

Why didn't you eat when
Anjali gave you?

-Because at that time I was
just pretending. -What?

It is something that cannot be
seen but has great effect.

-And I love it.
-Raj is deeply in love with you.

But he is pretending so
that he can pacify you.

-He is fighting.
-Yes! And our wive's have told us this.

-What else?
-They told us. -Yes!

I wish to say something to you.

Really?

"I wish to say something to you."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"I wish to say something to you."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"But my heart tells me
to be quiet now."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"Now if we are silent our
eyes will speak up."

"I wish to say something to you."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"But my heart tells me
to be quiet now."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"I said!
I heard."

"But I never said anything."

"Then even I have not
heard anything."

"I said!
I heard."

"But I never said anything."

"Then even I have not
heard anything."

"Now what is left to
be said and heard?"

"You said what I wanted to say."

"I will feel satiated if you keep
your hand on my heart."

"No"

"I wish to say something to you."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"But my heart tells me
to be quiet now."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"There is mischief in the eyes
and whine on my lips." -"Yes!"

"I am restless and craving."
-"Yes!"

"Do I have the permission to
say something?" -"Yes!"

"You love me.
-Yes!"

"Yes and no!"

"Look here I will think
once again."

"I will think and then tell you."

"Only then I will spill
out this secret."

"You feel like saying
yes as well as no."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"Tell me! Tell me!"

(Water splashes)

Wow! You look very beautiful!

By wearing this dress you have
proved that you too love me.

-Now come on, give me a kiss.
-Kiss? -Yes, kiss. -No! -Please.

-Catch me if you can!
-Hey you!

Okay!

Yes!

Okay fine, do not be pompous.

If you show tantrums, I
will never kiss you.

I am serious!
I will never kiss you in my life.

I will not even kiss
you after marriage.

Not even now?

Hey!

-Hi, darling!
-Okay, Bob, this is your stuff.

-It is so good to see you.
-Yes, baby.

Oh, so how are you?

(Whistling)

Hurry up!
We are going to be late.

Raj, you are great!

What is she doing?
What is she up to?

Wait, Raj is behind you.

Yeah. All right.

It is upside down.

The first one is with her and the
third one is also with her.

Where is the second one?

Okay!

But, with how many
men she will marry?

(Phone ringing)

-Your phone, baby.
-Who's that? Who's that?

Looks like she will divorce
Sanjay and marry someone else.

Yes! What? Okay, don't worry.

-Where are we going, baby?
-Come on guys.

Hey!

Raj, you are great!

-This is my car.
-So, have it. Have it, baby.

-Your tour has ended?
You are going away? -Yes.

-Oh, good!
-We will miss you a lot.

-Yes, too much.
-Enough now.

Just to make sure you miss me more...

I have got a gift for both of you.

-Lovely!
-Oh, gift for me! Thanks.

-Very nice.
-Thank you!

-Okay, bye! -Bye-bye!
-She is so sweet, isn't it? -Bye!

Yes, very nice. Now come on.
Come on in.

-Where are you going?
-I am going home.

But the tour is not yet over.

Your tour will end if you
talk too much with her.

-Yes, you go. -I have come
to give you these gifts.

-Thank you, okay, now go.
-Okay, bye-bye.

Bye!

Excuse me!

-You are an Indian?
-Yes.

Can I check your baggage?

Okay, you can go.

-Hello, is there an Indian group?
-Yes.

Can I check their rooms, please?

-Yes. -I have a warrant
to check your room.

What? Excuse me, you can't just
get into my room like this.

-One more packet?
-But, that's a gift.

-These are drugs, Madam.
-What? Drugs?

Inspector, we are innocent.
Please, forgive us.

Look, the girl who was
traveling with us in the bus...

-she gave us these gifts.
-Yes.

What did we know that this
heroine will give us heroin?

-We have never done anything
wrong till date. -Yes!

-He does not even know Hindi!
-Relax! Relax!

Sir, we all are innocent, that lady has
given us all this. Believe us, Sir.

-This is not ours.
-Where is your passport?

What did you do?

-Where were you, Raj?
-What did we do?

-What did all of you do?
-What did we do?

-That girl gave us drugs in
the name of a gift. -Who?

And that policeman says that,
none of us will be saved.

-That sister in mini skirt.
-Who, that one?

-She gave us this gift.
-She is a drug dealer?

Oh, my friend, Sanjay, is ruined.

I will have to make
one more call.

Excuse me!
Excuse me! Oh, my friend is gone.

Excuse me. Excuse me. All these
people are innocent.

I will just make a call to my
country and will be back...

in one minute.
Please give me one minute.

Please give me one minute, sir.

-Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. -Yes!

-Can I make a call please?
-Yes, please. -Thank you very much.

-Yes, okay, bye-bye.
-See you later.

-Hello, yes, Raj!
-Yes, hello, Sanjay.

-Yes, you can commit suicide.
-What are you talking?

Your wife turned out to
be a drug smuggler.

Why has she started
doing smuggling?

You are my friend,
she is your wife.

-Though knowing this, I am
going to get her arrested. -No

No, no!
Raj, you please don't so this.

Because you know she is trying
to trap innocent people...

in her crime and I will
never let that happen.

Raj! Raj, please listen to me.

-Raj!
-Okay!

-Raj!
-What happened today?

-Carrey, I am ruined!
-Why?

My wife turned out to
be a drug smuggler.

Smuggler!

You never used to give
her pocket money?

(Siren wailing)

Sir, follow me, follow me, sir.

-Police! Nobody will move.
-Hold it. -Nobody will move, man.

-Passport.
-Give the passport.

Give it to me. Give, give,
give the passport to me.

Yes.

You are doing this under the
pretext of touring Europe?

One woman and three men?

Sister-in-law, your character
should be published...

in the Guinness Book
of World Record.

Sister-in-law? Who, sister-in-law?
I am still unmarried.

Big bullshit!
She is a big liar, take her away.

You are under arrest, miss Mona.

-No, she is not Mona.
-Yes, she is. -She is Anjali.

She is Mona,
darling of drug smugglers.

-Can I see her passport, please?
-See here.

If she is Mona then...

Who is the real Anjali?

Sister Pappi, you must always
give a gift but not take it.

Oh God! Please save us this time.

Henceforth, we will never take
any gift from a girl.

(Foreign language)

Well, Mr. And Mrs. Bhaidas Patel.

-This is your passport!
-Oh, thank God.

And your passport too.

-Please go!
-Thank you.

Mr. And Mrs. Prakash Chaudhary.

-Your passport.
-Pappi!

-Why have you worn your glasses?
-Move away from here. Quickly.

Mr. And Mrs. Bakhiyani.

-And who is Anjali Khanna?
Your passport. -Thanks.

Pappi, why is Raj looking so sad?

That is fine. But I do not
understand why is he sitting behind?

Who is doing this?

I do not like any girl playing
mischief with me like this. Okay?

-Why are you telling us?
-I am not telling you, okay?

Hi!

You forgot your mouth
organ in the bus.

You seem to be busy,
are you going somewhere?

Yes, I am going to hell.

-Shall I accompany you?
-Do you have the Visa?

You just take me along with you,
I will get the Visa as well.

Very funny!

Are you angry?
Did I make any mistake?

No, you can never
make any mistake.

I made a mistake, I am sorry.

No! I am sorry.

Raj, are you really
going somewhere?

Nowhere! I am going home.

And now cool, relax.

Don't try all these tricks on me,
come on, leave me.

-Leave!
-Why?

Leave it, I say.

Leave it!

Cool! Relax, okay!

Yeah, yeah, relax!
Just relax, yeah.

"This girl is after you,
where are you going my beloved?"

"My beloved, why are you angry
and where are you going?"

"I made a mistake, okay."

"Forgive me, okay."

"Oh my beloved,
I will not allow you to go."

"This girl is after you,
where are you going my beloved?"

"My beloved, why are you angry
and where are you going?"

By the way what is your problem?

By the way what have
you to do with that?

By the way we have to make
promises and fulfill them.

We have to live and die together.

-You do what you wish to do,
don't bother me. -Really?

Come on, go ahead, go ahead.
Go! Go!

"My silken tresses and my
mesmerizing eyes are calling you."

"Oh my beloved I am your life
partner, please come with me."

"Catch my hand and understand
my gesture."

"No one is dear to me
as much as you."

"Do not go away making
me restless."

"Please do not go away, return."

"Your dream girl stops you.."

"Oh,
my beloved, where are you going?"

"This girl is after you,
where are you going my beloved?"

Oh, hell!

Second one?

Hello, Sanjay your wife...

"This is the season of merriment,
you enjoy it."

"Youth is like monsoon it
odes not last long."

"You have my oath do not
torment me more."

"It should not happen
that I feel grief."

"Your youth.."
-Okay.

"I am crazy after you."
-Okay!

"My beloved you too
become crazy"

"Oh,
my beloved, where are you going?"

"My beloved, why are you angry
and where are you going?"

"I made a mistake, okay."

"Forgive me, okay."

"Oh my beloved,
I will not allow you to go."

"Oh,
my beloved, where are you going?"

"This girl is after you,
where are you going my beloved?"

What are you saying?
You are returning?

Yes. This is too much now.

I do not want to be a
detective anymore.

I am thinking that I will
return to India..

get married and
lead a good life.

What? You wish to get married?

Hello! Definitely meet
me after marriage.

Because in this you need
a divorce very soon.

-Do remember me.
-I will definitely remember you.

As soon as I return to Mumbai
you just meet me once...

-that's all. -After that
everyone will remember you.

Brother,
you seem to be very disappointed.

What is it? If there is anything
please tell me.

-I will not tell my neighbour.
-What shall I tell you?

The one I was following thinking
her to be Sanjay's wife...

she turned out to be someone else.

And the one whom I fell in love
with thinking her to be...

someone else, she turned
out to be Sanjay's wife.

What did you tell him,
he became unconscious.

Even if he regains consciousness,
he will never tell you.

You just listen to this, I am
returning to India, that's all.

Look, if you return
without any evidence...

then, the sleeping pills I have here...

I will dissolve all
the pills..

in my tea and drink
it up and I will die.

Sanjay, please do not so such a thing.

Okay, listen.
I will gather evidence for you.

I got it! I got it! I got it!

Oh, my God! I dashed into this.

What happened?

I found evidence against your
husband, just see this.

But, this is my photo.

-From her side face she looks like
a witch. -Uncle, Carrey!

-See, she looks like a specter.
-Uncle Carrey!

-That wretched woman.
-Uncle Carrey!

-I feel like strangulating her.
-Uncle, Carrey!

-Yes!
-This is my photograph.

-Mr. Bhaidas, Mr. Chaudhary, comer here.
-What happened?

-Mr. Pal, what is it?
-See this.

-This! This is a massage parlour.
-Yes, tickling.

Mr. Bhaidas after reading this board
I feel as if six to seven...

..ladies are giving me a massage
and I am enjoying it.

Brother, under the pretext
of going for a stroll...

I came here for an
English massage.

Even I came for the same.

-You can ask sister-in-law
about my character. -Yes!

So, shall we go in?

-But what if our wives
come to know? -Yes!

Brother, the moment we go in, our
life will change in such a way...

that both of you will
forget your wives.

It is my responsibility if
something wrong happens. Come on.

-Come on!
-Yes, come on, come on.

Wow! Massage parlour! All
the three have gone in.

Her hands are so smooth.

They are so smooth that,
I am enjoying it.

-Mr. Bhaidas!
-Yes!

Are you in a mood to listen if
I want to praise my wife?

Definitely! Sure!

Have you ever seen a female
elephant in the forest?

I have not seen.

-Then, you come to my house.
-Yes!

See my wife. She looks exactly
like a female elephant.

-Shall I praise my wife?
-Yes! Sure.

Have you ever seen a ghost?
A white ghost?

No, I never had an opportunity
to see one.

If my wife leaves her
hair loose then...

she looks like a white ghost.

Mr. Bhaidas...

please do not talk like this
about my sister-in-law.

Mr. Chaudhary, I told
you she is crazy...

you do not try and
flirt with her.

Mr. Bhaidas,
I feel like singing a song.

-Mr. Chaudhary...
-"If a flame is ignited."

After coming to this foreign
country it seems like...

we got married at
a very early age.

-"Then the rain will extinguish it."
-Why did you stop it?

Do it, why did you stop the massage?
Come on, do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You did the right thing!
They should be beaten up like this.

Next time they will not trouble
an innocent person like me.

Yes! Yes! But your wife
will not come here.

She has gone for shopping, but
don't worry we have told her...

that your husband too has gone
to a massage parlour.

-Then? -Then she said... first you
go and beat up your husbands.

But after that do not give my
husband a chance to complain.

What do you mean?

Meaning...

Raj, you are going here?

So?

Don't you know it is
a striptease joint?

I know. So?

No, how can you go to
some place like this?

I can go.

Okay! Even I am coming.

You?

Madam, you can go anywhere.

(Dance music)

Raj, come on, we will go
from here, let's go.

Yes! You are too good baby!

-Yes, sir!
-One beer, please.

What about you, ma'am?

-One Tequila!
-Okay, fine.

Yes, yes, you can drink anything.

-Yes, sir!
-One more beer, please.

-Two Tequilas!
-Okay, ma'am.

Come on, baby, let's have fun.

Wow! Great!

Wow! Great!

(Dance music stops)

I am sorry!

-No!
-I am really sorry!

First you will have to
admit that, you love me.

No, I don't!

Come inside.

Come on, baby, come on.

You love me, no?

-No!
-No! You are lying.

-I know you love me.
-No, I don't.

-You do love me!
-No.

No, I don't. I don't!

-No, you love me.
-No.

-Yes, you love me.
-No, I don't. -Yes.

-Yes, you love me. -No! I hate you.
I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you!

I am fine but the business
is going into a loss.

What? What is this?
Can't you see? What is this?

Can't you walk without
pushing someone?

Did you not go to any class
to learn how to walk?

Glass?
Are you crazy? Am I a drunkard?

I will take the glass in hand
only when I attend a party.

If I attend a party, will
you come with me?

-Will you accompany me?
-Who is this one? Who is he?

I am not John. I am Mulchand Chelaramani.
How about you?

Whoever you may be
I will slap you.

-Is there any problem with your ears?
-What did you say?

Where do I have a problem?
What did you say?

-Where do I have a problem?
-In the ears! Ears!

You said ears?
Sorry, I am a little deaf.

See, I have put the machine.
Please, forgive me.

Please forgive me.

Anjali, see who is this man
who is harassing me?

Sister-in-law, Anjali!

How come you are here?
You were supposed to go to Europe?

-How come you are here?
-One minute. One minute.

Please, do not tell my husband
that, I am still here. Please.

How will I tell him? I can tell
him only if he is here.

He has gone to Europe.
I booked the ticket for him.

-What? -In the name of Raj Malhotra.
-Raj Malhotra!

-What?
-Hello.

-Uncle.
-How did this happen?

Did you see?

-Stupid! Uncle!
-Yes.

I told you this man is a scoundrel.
I had told you, isn't it?

Has he gone there to
keep an eye on you?

Even if he is doing that, he
should have returned by now.

I am here.

How will he return? He is after
all a flamboyant person.

English girls, liquor and freedom.

Can anyone stop themselves
from enjoying it?

Uncle, this is a very good thing.
Ask me why?

How? -Anjali is there.
I will call her up just now.

She will bring evidence
for us from there.

Anjali, I am Anjali speaking.

Where were you?
I called up so many times?

Yes, Anjali.

Okay, tell me, is there any person in
your tour by the name of Raj Malhotra?

Raj Malhotra?

Yes! He is traveling with me.

He is my husband, Sanjay.

What! -Yes.
And just now I came to know..

..that he is traveling
by changing his name.

Hello, Anjali!
Anjali! Anjali, are you there?

Hello, Anju!

(Telephone rings)

(Telephone rings)

(Telephone rings)

Hello!
-Hello, Anjali!

What happened to you suddenly?

I felt dizzy listening to you.

You felt dizzy? Why?

The thing is I have fallen in love
with your husband.

What are you saying?

I knew this rogue was
up to something.

But how are you so sure that
he is your husband?

Today, my travel agent told me
that he had booked a ticket..

..in the name of Raj Malhotra.

What are you saying?

I will not spare this person now.

I will go to him immediately
and ask him that..

..why did he do this to me when
he was already married.

Hold on, don't do something
like this now. -Why? Why?

If you discuss all this with him
then he will become alert.

I want you to continue
with this charade.

So that later I will present you in
the court against him as a witness.

Hey you, what are you saying?
I..can't do all that.

Anjali, I know that this is
very difficult for you.

It is very difficult for me also, friend.

Don't you wish that we both
should teach him a lesson?

I am at the casino. She is
coming here now to meet me.

I know that she is crazily
in love with you.

She will do as you
tell her to do.

You do one thing, today night you
call her alone in your room.

Are you mad?

I want to see how
far can she get..

..involved with you
in this matter.

What do you wish? How can I do
this with my friend's wife?

Have you gone crazy?
My life is in a mess, man.

This is the only opportunity
to expose her.

Tonight, if she comes
alone in your room..

..then you just see, hundred
percent I will divorce her.

Do not let go of this opportunity.
-Okay, I will do this.

What if he takes undue advantage
of this situation? -Carrey!

Sir, the problem is your
wife too is always..

..in search of such opportunities.

Shut up!
-Okay!

He is waiting for me in the
hotel casino. -Okay?

I am going there. -Now he will
do anything to acquire you.

You do one thing, you call him
alone in your room. -Anjali!

And if he misbehaves
with you in your..

..room, then I will divorce him.

Anjali, please do this for me.
Bye.

Raj!

Why did you call me here?

Well,
to tell you that..I love you.

I am very happy!
-Oh, Anjali, I too am very happy.

Wow! Come, let's play a game.

Come on. Till today we have
always been testing each other..

..but today,
let us test our own self.

When will this game end?

Even I was thinking how long
will this game go on?

I am quite bored with this game.

Let's stop it,
man, let's stop playing.

Anyways, you should never mess with
a machine you don't know about.

Often, a person loses.

Right.

Come, we will go somewhere.

Where?
-Wherever you say.

In my room?
-No!

In my room. I will wait for you.

Oh! The door is also kept open.

Hi!
-She is smarter than the first one.

What is the matter? You are all
dressed up and lying down?

Yes, today you also seem
to be in a great mood.

Of course, I am in a great mood.
Because since many days..

..I was waiting to vent
out my feelings.

Mr. Raj Malhotra, I too was
impatiently waiting for this day.

When I will be able to satiate
the fire within me.

That means the fire is
smouldering within you as well.

And you are craving to surrender
your body to me.

But please forgive me,
madam Anjali,

I will never do any such thing
that you wish me to do.

That is because I have a class,
a status and I do not..

..entertain third grade
girls like you.

What do you mean?
-Don't shout!

I know very well that
you are a fraud..

..flirt and a third grade girl.

Hey you! Mind you language.
Before accusing me of such..

..filthy things first try and
see your face in the mirror.

What is wrong with my face?
-You are a loafer, scoundrel, rogue.

You are a flirt who traps innocent girls.

I will say that you are
a stigma on men.

Not only a stigma but
worse than that!

Okay! All right!

You are angry because I did
not do what you wished?

Cool down! Relax!

When I did not get trapped
in your plan,

When I did not heed
to your wishes..

..you are trying to pretend
like a virtuous lady?

Oh! So I am trying to pretend
like a virtuous lady?

You are married yourself and
you try to flirt with other girls.

Oh, hello, who told you
that I am married?

Oh! Your own wife.

From where has my wife turned up?
-Many years ago.

Shut up!

Just because you are married, you
are talking nonsense about me.

I am married?
Wow! Now I am married?

By the way who, told you
that I am married?

Your husband.
-Oh! Now I also have a husband.

Fabulous! -This is nothing new.
-What a big fraud you are!

You are a liar!
-Baby, don't try to make me a fool.

How dare you touch me!

Yes, what can I do for you, sir?
What can I do for you?

Now, I will do what is to be done.

You don't have to do anything.
-No!

Hello! -Hello, Anjali, quickly
tell me, what happened?

Nothing happened as you thought.

Hello.
-Yes, quickly tell me what happened?

Nothing, my friend, nothing
happened as you thought.

Actually she had called
for two security men..

..and those two men gave
me a good beating.

No, no, you are lying,
I cannot believe this.

Actually, according to me your
wife is a very noble lady.

Okay! So now she is a
very virtuous lady?

Yes, that is what I think.

You invited him to your room
and he came. -Yes, he came.

She called you to her room?
-Yes!

And you went to her room.
-Yes, yes.

And then he was with you for sometime?
-Yes.

And then he became
a very decent man?

After that she became a very
virtuous lady, is it?

Yes, after that I started
respecting her.

The thing is I did not get
enough time to talk to her as..

..the police broke my mouth pretty badly.

After that, I could not
utter a single word.

But shall I tell you one thing?

No doubt she was lying but
she is a very decent girl.

But Sanjay, what is your
intention in asking me all this?

Darling..

..the meaning is this that my
husband has this special trait.

If he spends some time
with a girl then..

..that girl starts praising him.

Shame on you,
Anjali, shame on you.

Sanjay,
for your sake I got beaten twice.

I broke my heart once.

And now you doubt me.
God too will not help you, idiot.

(Hangs the phone)

This is the height!

Raj Malhotra,
I will not spare you!

I have lost my temper.
This is too much!

I think your wife is a CIA agent.

In one night, she influenced Raj
Malhotra and shocked you.

I..I will deal with them.
I will deal with everyone.

Oh, my God!

You here?
-You had gone for a Europe tour, isn't it?

I had sent my friend in my
place to this Europe tour.

So that I could stay here and
keep an eye on you. Understood?

Oh, very smart!

My dear, the truth is that even I
sent my friend on that same tour.

Oh! -Yes! -I see!

Daddy, this is superb!

You are minting money and
I am minting money too!

Long live Sanjay's wife!

Long live the man with the pony!

We will keep extracting money
from them all life long.

Let this case continue
for some more time.

Let them be at loggerheads.

I see!

Father, I have lost the job!
-And the case as well!

Father, run from here!

My child, run!

They are not at fault,
but we are.

Sanjay, we never had faith
on each other ever.

Faith is such a delicate
emotion..

..that if there is a little..

..space for doubt it ruins
the relationship.

And we..have saved ourselves
from that disaster.

Sanjay..

..promise me that such a thing
will never happen with us again.

No!

Never!

Sanjay, have you ever thought
that in our misunderstandings..

..what Raj and Anjali
must be going through?

Europe is good but not as
good as our Ulhasnagar.

Ulhasnagar is after all
a beautiful place.

You are a very strange man.

When you are in Ulhasnagar you
say that Europe is beautiful.

And now that you are
in Europe you..

..say that Ulhasnagar is
beautiful.

At least stick to one thing.

He is not fit to go out anywhere.

Hey mister, you do your work.

Shall I tell you one thing?

Mr. Chaudhary, shall I say something?
-Yes, please.

(Background Music)

(Flute)

"Hey Raju, do not fall in love."

"Beware, your heart breaks."

"Do not talk of love,
beware, your heartbreaks."

"You crazy heart, you did not adhere."

"You at last fell in love."

"Hey Raju, do not fall in love."

"Beware, your heart breaks."

"I tried stopping my heart and
my heart tried stopping me."

"Love is just a beautiful
whiff of passing breeze."

"I tried stopping my heart and
my heart tried stopping me."

"Love is just a beautiful
whiff of passing breeze."

"A person who falls in
love ruins his life."

"Hey Raju, do not fall in love."

"Beware, your heart breaks."

"In love you lose
your own heart."

"The person who resides in your heart"

ultimately becomes a stranger."

"In love you lose your own heart."

"The person who resides in your heart"

ultimately becomes a stranger."

"I realized this when
I was hurt in love."

"Hey Raju, do not fall in love."

"Beware, your heart breaks."

"Do not talk of love,
beware, your heart breaks."

"You crazy heart, you did not adhere."

"You at last fell in love."

(Background music)

Oh, sister, welcome, welcome.
We missed you so much.

How was your Europe tour?
-I saw the world. Good experience.

Yes, this experience was
lacking that is why last time

you refused to get married.

Tell me, now what is your
opinion about marriage?

Don't talk about marriage.

Otherwise again my
daughter will get angry

and go on a Europe tour.

No Daddy, now I will get
married where you want me to.

I have no complaints.
-Great!

If I would have known that
my daughter would

change her thinking so much
after going to Europe

then I would have
educated her in Europe.

My daughter has agreed to get married.

All my tensions have waned away.

Brother

the marriage should be
solemnized with great splendour.

You go and arrange everything
for the wedding, that's it.

Brother, you just watch.

I will get the number one caterer
and decorator of Delhi.

Shekhar, quickly unload all the stuff.

There is less time and
there's a lot of work load.

Chaudhary!
-Oh! Mr. Bhaidas, you?

Surprising! I missed you a
lot after the Europe tour.

And I missed sister-in-law as well.
-Sister-in-law?

She was repeatedly trying your
number on the day of Rakhi.

I too tried calling up. I called
up once, no one answered.

I called up twice,
no one answered.

I called up thrice,
no one answered.

And then sir, I...
-How would you find someone?

I had given you the wrong number.
-Oh, wrong number?

Isn't this Anjali?
-Who Anjali?

The same one from the tour.
Raj's Anjali.

From behind she looks like Anjali.
Dear could you please turn around?

Hey, this is Anjali. Anjali!

See, I recognized her from
behind. -Mr. Chaudhary, you?

Mr. Bhaidas, you?

My dear, how are you?
-How are you?

You look the same as
you were in Europe.

You know each other?

Not only know but we know
each other very well.

We had met on the tour.

I am impatient to know what
happened about the affair

between you and Raj?

(Background music)

Mr. Chaudhary, this is my Daddy
and this is my Mummy.

Everyone has parents. But you first
tell me have you and Raj patched up?

And who is getting married?
-Hey!

Anjali is getting married, who else?

One minute. One minute.
I am a little confused.

You met Raj during the tour, okay?
-Yes.

Raj and you had a tiff?
(Background music)

Now are you getting married
to Raj or to someone else?

(Background music)

Who is this Raj?
-I do not know anyone called Raj.

(Background music)

Who has called both of you here?

The owner of this bungalow.
-Has called me for the decoration.

And me for the catering.
-Okay.

Who are you?
-Who am I?

I am the boss of this
bloody bungalow.

He is the boss of this bungalow.
-Okay.

Go and do your work.

And listen! There is no need
for you to talk to anyone.

Is that clear? Wonder from where
you got these specimens.

You told me to get Delhi's most famous...

He is a very strange man.
He is calling me a specimen.

Tell me, Mr. Bhaidas. Do I look
like a specimen from any angle?

Today is an auspicious day

please do not compel me to tell lies.
(Background music)

Come on put up the tents quickly.

(Background music)

My child, since the time you
have returned from Europe

you are looking so forlorn.

This isn't done. First tell
me, what is the matter?

Do not talk much! Ask him nicely.

Tell me Raj, who has made
your condition like this?

I will teach that one a lesson.

Who is dead?
Where is that one? I will shoot him.

Keep quiet! You always are drunk.

Keep sleeping. And after getting
intoxicated you talk rubbish.

"I will shoot him."

Is this the way?
-Grandpa, what's happening?

What is wrong with my brother?

My child, is it that you
have fallen in love?

(Background music)

(Phone Ringing)

Oh, my! The bell is ringing.

Definitely it is something to do
with romance. (Phone Ringing)

(Phone Ringing)

Hello.
-Raj, it is me, Chaudhary.

Who, Chaudhary? -That one"One
bird said to another, what say?"

Chaudhary, from the Europe tour.
-Yes, Mr. Chaudhary, tell me.

After the Europe tour we thought
that Anjali will marry you

but Anjali is getting married
to someone else here.

Anjali's wedding!
Her parents are nice.

They are getting her married the
second time with such a bang?

You fool, initially she will get
married for the first time

and then she can get
married the second time.

Instead she thinks that you
are already married.

What? Anjali is still not married?

That means she is not
my friend's wife?

Forget about your friend,
she can only be your wife.

She cannot marry anyone else.

Quickly come to Delhi.
You must be thinking

how will you reach your beloved?

So listen to me

it is my responsibility to take
you to meet your beloved.

And if I cannot do that
then you can abuse me.

Now you do not increase my mobile bill.

Quickly catch a flight
and come here.

Leave aside flight. I will
fly, run and swim and come.

Mummy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma,
sister -Oh, wow!

I am going and bringing the
daughter-in-law of this house.

See, go up these stairs,
then turn to your right

and then turn to your left.

The girl's bedroom is there,
open the door and go in. Okay?

Come, we will go.
-Come on. -Brother Bhaidas

this is very bad. I spit on you.

Raju, you do not know her father.

He is a very stern man,
he will cancel my tent.

Mr. Chaudhary,
this is very bad, I spit on you.

Do not spit too much this
is marble we will slip.

Then c'mon both of you.
-C'mon. -C'mon.

Brother, I have done everything
as per your instructions.

Listen!

I have covered my face, I cannot hear.

You will hear only
when you turn around.

If you tell us to turn only
then we will turn.

If you ask us to hear then
how will we turn around?

Oh, this is the caterer, isn't it?
-Yes.

And this is the decorator?
-Yes, decorator.

And, who are you?
-That I do not know.

That... that... the orchestra man here.

Will you play the orchestra on my head?

We just wanted to have a chat with you.

If you wanted to listen to a
particular number which you like

and...
-Keep quiet. Enough.

Uncle, I promise you, I will make
you listen to any number.

What decorator?

Wonder from where you
bring such specimen?

He is again calling us specimens.
-Okay.

I have never been humiliated
like this in my life. -Okay?

I have been humiliated before
as well but in installments.

My father-in-law insulted
me in front of everyone?

If I do not make his
daughter stand against him

in front of everyone then
I will change my name.

And Raj, you are great!

Really!

(Background music)

"I wish to say something to you."

"But my heart tells
me to be quiet now."

"Now if we are silent our
eyes will speak up."

Oh, my darling, my darling,
my darling, I love you

I miss you man, I miss you.

You are looking so beautiful
in these clothes.

Anjali, we both have
misunderstood each other.

But believe me, my
misunderstanding is cleared now.

And I take your oath and say
that I am not a married man.

I am a bachelor,
man, I am a bachelor.

And if you are ready then I am
also ready to elope with you.

They are still talking.

Shall I put on the lights?
-Anjali, Anjali, your hand

how come your hands
are so rough? -On!

(Background music)

Who are you?

I am Raj, who are you?
-I am Anjali's Mother.

What have you done?

Come here!
-Come here!

Come here.
-Come here in this corner.

Did you say what you wanted to?

Mother!
-You said that to her Mother?

(Raj making a crowing sound)

Then you should have told me
that you were interested

in the mother then we could
have set it up that way.

Oh, Raj, what have you done?

Raj, tell me, if he gets so angry
hearing his daughter's name.

When he hears his wife's
name, he will shoot us.

Mr. Chaudhary, that
bucktooth is coming here.

Where is he?
-There he is.

He was saying that he is going
to elope with our daughter.

(Background music)

(Drumming)

Hey you!
What were you telling my wife?

You will elope with my daughter?
-Yes!

You have heard it right.
(Raj making a crowing sound)

If you try and get my Anjali
married somewhere else

then I will elope with her.

You think you can do anything?

Yes, I am Raj! My name is Raj.
And I am my father's Raj.

That is because my name is Raj.

Look here, I have seen many like you.

Now will you go from here
or shall I call the police?

Okay!
You want to call the police?

Then I will scream and tell
all the people here

that your daughter
and I had an affair.

And we were together in Europe for

sixteen days and sixteen nights.

After that no decent man will get

his son married to your daughter.

You are a strange man!
-Yes.

You have no respect for the
parents of the girl you love?

Look here, if you try and get
Anjali married somewhere else

then I will humiliate you.

And if you get her married to
me I will respect you a lot.

I will wash your feet.

Hey you lover boy,
listen to me carefully.

I will not let my daughter marry you.

Look here, you too
listen to me carefully.

That you only will be my father-in-law.

You will be, you will
be and you will be!

Why hasn't he arrived yet?

Raju.

You are the only detective in the world

that has a donkey
instead of a dog.

There's a transport strike in the city.

You didn't pick me up.
If it wasn't for this donkey

I could have never reached.

I was thinking of climbing up
from here. -Why will you climb up?

Of course, you are so heavy.
How can you climb up?

I may be heavy, but that will
just add weight to what I say.

How is that?

When I will tell her with all my
weight that you are not married,

It will lend credence.
-You are right.

We shouldn't wait any longer.
Let's climb up.

Come on.
-Yes, come.

The things that I have to do for you.

Do it, please. Someday I will
be really useful to you.

I will help you as a detective.

Harder. Try harder.

(Background music)

Climb up.
-Raj.

Climb up.
(Chaudhary yelling)

Chaudhary.

Chaudhary sir, are you there?

If not, can I leave?
-Hey.

Quiet. Don't disturb me.

Listen to me.
-I can't hear the one I want to.

Look here.
-There's nothing left to see now.

It's me.
-It's me too, but he's no more.

It's me, Chaudhary. Look.

(Background music)

Run.

(Crickets chrping)

(Background music)

What's this?

(Background music)

(Door closing)

I am telling you,
you are quite heavy.

I may be heavy, but that will
just add weight to what I say.

But how will you climb up?

Oye.

Bring the rope hanging around her neck.
-Excuse me.

Now fasten this.

Make it tight.

But why are you doing this?

Not around the neck, around the waist.
-Oh!

Why do you want to fasten
it around my neck?

Fasten it properly. I
hope it's of my size?

I feel so.
-Tie it quickly.

Here you go.

I have tied.

Now pull on this.

-I should right?
-Yes.

Okay. All the best.

All the best.

(Background music)

All the best.

(Chaudary gasping)

All the very best.

(Chaudary gasping)

Slowly.

(Chaudary gasping)

Oh God, my hands are burning.

What was that sound?

Chaudhary sir, I am sorry.

(Chaudary gasping)

Pick me up.
-Let me hold it.

Forget the rope, catch my hand.
-Yeah, yeah.

I told you, you are very heavy.

I may be heavy, but that will
just add weight to what I say.

Really?
-Yes.

Let's try again.
-Yes, let's try it. -Okay. -Fine.

Okay.

(Background music)

Chaudhary.
(Chaudary gasping)

Chaudhary.
(Chaudary gasping)

Chaudhary.
(Background music)

(Chaudary gasping)

(Donkey Neighing)

(Donkey Neighing)

(Donkey Neighing)

Let me see you.

(Chaudhary yelling)

Okay.

Chaudhary.
(Donkey Neighing)

Oh no. Oh shit.

Chaudhary, that man disturbed me.

I told you, you are very heavy.

I may be heavy, but that will
just add weight to what I say.

What now?

I suggest. What do you call that? The
one standing there. (Donkey Neighing)

It looks like a horse.
-I even forgot its name.

Fasten the other end to this donkey.

Sit on it and then pull.
It will balance the weight.

Okay. I will try to do that.
Have faith in me.

Fasten it quickly.

Okay.
-Hey!

(Background music)

(Raj making indistinct sound)

(Chaudhary gasping)

(Chaudhary gasping)

(Background music)

Raju.
(Raj making indistinct sound)

A bit further.

(Donkey Neighing)

I will use that stick.

(Donkey Neighing)
(Chaudhary gasping)

(Background music)

(Chaudhary falling down)

(Donkey Neighing)

Chaudhary.
Chaudhary, are you still there?

I told you, you are very heavy.

What are you doing here?
-Have you crossed 60?

60?

Why? -Don't you know the difference
between a horse and donkey?

Donkey.
-Donkey.

Donkey. What is it doing there?

There's a transportation
strike in the city.

So I thought of eloping with
your daughter on the donkey.

That will never happen.
Will you leave now?

Fine, I will leave
because I respect you.

But, I will take revenge tomorrow
at your daughter's wedding.

What will you do?

Look, barking dogs seldom bite.

Thundering clouds seldom shower.
-But I will bark

I will bite, I will thunder
and I will shower.

You will understand,
but still you won't.

But in the end you will
understand everything.

Because that will be the
beginning of our love.

Looks like he will do what he says.
-Yes.

(Background music)

(Upbeat music)

Hi brother-in-law.
-Hi.

Can I ask you a question?
But you won't be able to answer it.

That's impossible.

Tell me, who is looking prettier?
Sister or me?

(Background music)

Oh Raju.
-Okay, all right.

What are you looking for?

I want a saw.

There's a saw in my tool box.

Here.
-Wow. Thanks.

But I don't understand.

How can you stop this
engagement with this saw?

No bamboos, no support,
no tent, no engagement.

You will destroy my
tents with my saw.

(Background music)

Raju, stop the saw.

(Background music)

Hello my father-in-law.
-Fool, what are you doing?

Hey you, the tent will fall.

Will you stop this marriage or not?

No, this marriage cannot be stopped.

Then this saw won't stop either.

Catch it.

Why are you behaving
like an ignorant man?

Think about my honour.

It won't fall right now.

After I break a few more, it will fall.

Hold it firmly.
Don't let it fall.

Brother, mine is shaking.
-Mine is too.

But hold it. -Your father
is nowhere to be seen.

The auspicious hour is passing by.
-He's on his way.

At least exchange the rings.

Where is the ring?
-Mummy is getting it.

(Background music)

Why are you uprooting the tent?

Not me, it's him.

I have already done it.
-Stop him.

What are you doing?

Where should I keep this?

Wow mother-in-law, give
that thing in my hand.

And catch this bamboo.

Hold it.
-By the way, what is this?

The groom's ring.
-Wow, I will wear this one.

What are you doing?
-Wearing the engagement ring.

Stop him. -Catch this bamboo,
don't catch me.

Or else the tent will fall.

Now I am related to you.

Raj you are great.

Where are you going?
-To break the fourth bamboo.

Who will hold that?

I won't. -Stop him.
-Hey, stop.

Mummy will be here
soon, brother-in-law.

Why don't you adorn her with the ring?
-Why not.

Here, Son.

Sister, come on.

(Background music)

(People yelling)

Mr. Khanna! Mr. Khanna!

What nonsense is going on?

Don't push me. -They ate the
sweets and brought the tent down.

This... all this is his doings.
He is the one.

You wait, I will immediately
call the police.

You just see, I will
make you rot in jail.

I will rot in jail?
I will rot in jail?

Why? What is my crime?

What is my mistake?

Have I stolen something?
Have I looted someone?

She stole my heart.
She made me fall in love with her.

And I will rot in jail? Why?

Have I ruined your daughter's
life or have I eloped with her?

What have I done?

First you brought the tent down
and now you are trying to burn it.

You keep quiet. This is not
the time to crack jokes.

Yes, tell me, what did I do to you?

Did I garland you or
did you garland me?

Or did I apply vermillion on her
forehead like this? -Raj!

Keep quiet! Today I will
speak and you will listen.

Where is your mother? -She is here.
-Did I not ask you?

That I love your daughter
and I wish to marry her?

Did I not ask you like a gentleman?

Where is your daddy?
-Daddy is here.

Why can't I see him?
Why is he not to be seen?

Yes, did I not ask you? Hello!
Did I not ask you? -Yes, you had.

That I love your daughter
and wish to marry her?

Didn't I ask you like a gentleman?

You can ask her. Ask her heart.

Ask the earth and the sky.

Ask the breeze and the ambience.

Ask the brightness and the darkness.

Ask the moon and the stars.

Ask the storm and the tempest.

Ask me and my father.

Ask her and her father.

Ask all the four cartoons in my house.

I say, you can even ask these leaves.

Ask the illuminated
lights behind the leaves.

This... ask this carpet, the
broken tent and the broken bamboo.

Ask each and every thing.
How much I have loved her.

And now if she still does
not have faith in my love,

then she can throw away
this sacred necklace.

It makes no difference to me and now
I am going to the airport from here.

Good riddance!

Listen,
can we solemnize the wedding?

What is the use now?

What? -Your daughter has already
taken the nuptial rounds.

And he has put the sacred
necklace as well. -Yes.

Now only the giving away ceremony
has to be performed.

That too you can perform.

You don't worry,
l will shoot him. -Yes.

Now you shoot him or do
anything else, we are going.

Come on, son. Come on all of you.

Go! Go!

Brother, they are going.
-Yes.

(Background music)

Anjali

actually I wanted to tell you
something very important.

That Raj Malhotra you fell
in love with in Europe

is not my husband.

This is my husband.
-What?

Yes! That Raj Malhotra is my friend.

And for your kind information,
he is not married.

He is a bachelor.

And for your kind information
your friend, Mr. Raj Malhotra

is not a bachelor anymore.
He is a married man.

What? -He has just applied
vermillion on my forehead

and put this sacred
necklace on my neck.

And he also solemnized the
nuptial rounds with me.

Daddy, before it is too late
I want to go and stop him.

Go, my child.

Go!

(Background music)

She will come, she
will definitely come.

(Background music)

'Passengers traveling to Mumbai
kindly board the aircraft.'

'Thank you.' -She will come,
she will have to come.

(Background music)

Hey! Stop the car! Stop the car!

(Background music)

You... how recklessly do you drive the
car. I will teach her a lesson now.

'This is the last and final call'

'for Mr. And Mrs. Raj Malhotra.'

'Kindly board the aircraft
immediately. Thank you.'

Hey girl, come out.
-Inspector, please let me go.

I am in a hurry. -It is very important
for me to reach the airport.

I will take you where required.

Deflate it!
-What?

The car tyres. Then we will
go to the police station.

Please, Inspector, it is important
that I stop my husband.

First I will make a challan then
I will take a chance. Then...

Shut up, Inspector.
Mind your language.

You are speaking in English?

Come to the police station
I will teach you Hindi.

Come on! Who is that?

I am intelligent like Shah
Rukh Khan of 'Baazigar'.

I can fight like Durga's Salman Khan.

And I can shoot like Aamir
Khan from 'Sarfarosh'.

Bastard, I will now show you who I am.

What will you show me?
You are a nothing compared to me.

You are a lowly man, a derogatory
man and a degraded man.

And you speak in front of me.

Come and catch me if you can.
Come, come.

Go and catch that old man!

Catch me. Catch me. Catch me...

You are out. Out.

It is a double role, double role.

He is the father and I am the son.

In order to make money
we fooled many people.

We've destroyed many families.

We were responsible in breaking
your love. -What?

But now we will unite you.

You are out! Neem Carrey,
take her to the airport.

Come on let's go on the
motorbike. Come on.

(Background music)

'All the passengers are requested
to fasten their seat belts.'

Oh, no!

'All the passengers are requested
to fasten their seat belts.'

'Thank you.'

(Background music)

'To fasten your seat belts sign
has been switched off now.'

'You may unfasten your seat belts.'
-Tell me! How are you?

You look very sad.
(Background music)

I know everything about you.

You are a very romantic man.
You are a flirt.

Don't bore me.

You trouble the girls by
going to their flats.

You pull their cheeks like this.

You beat like this on their thighs.

And you touch them like this...

I am telling you to
behave yourself.

We Punjabis are very warm people.

When we go to see off a person
we bid them farewell

and then we embrace them
like this. -Stop it!

Like this! -Stop it! There is
a limit to man to man touch.

It is very strange!

I have been touching
you from a long time

and you cannot feel
any current?

I am not that type of a man.

Then what type of a man are you?

I do not tease the girls like you do.

Then how?

I tease the girls like this.

Oh! What is this?

This is the limit!

(Background music)

You recognized me?

Yes, my dear, I recognized
you a long time ago.

I knew you would surely come.

If you do not believe me
then look at the back.

You will believe me. See at the back.

(Background music)

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you."

"You thought I fell in love with you."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you."

"You came with a
palanquin to my house."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"You have crossed your limit."

"This journey is short."

"Our companionship is
for a short while."

"I just smiled and spoke to you"