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Top Gear - Dark Souls 1/2/3 Special

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    [Music - Top Gear Intro]
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    [Jeremy Clarkson]
    Tonight, Richard wears a blue hat
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    James wears a different hat
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    And I wear a hat with things on it.
    (hammond yelling in background)
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    [Music ends]
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    [Music - Kaer Morhen (The Witcher 3)]
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    [James May]
    It all started here.
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    It's the first, and frankly, still the best in the series.
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    [Richard Hammond]
    Yeah, I mean, there's a rough edge here and there,
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    but for a first attempt, I think it's pretty crisp--
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    [Jeremy Clarkson, interrupting]
    beHOLD the genius.
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    [Music - Captain Haunt Boss Phase 2
    (Borderlands 3 - Bloody Harvest)]
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    [Hammond]
    Yeah, mate, honestly... (laughing)
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    [Clarkson]
    Honestly, it's not even a question. It's peak.
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    It's Peak Souls II.
    [hammond] eh?
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    [Clarkson - Voiceover]
    Whatever.
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    It was time for our first challenge.
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    [Music - Stardust Man Appears (JJBA S3)]
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    [Clarkson - Conversation]
    Each of you will beat your game from start to finish.
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    You are allowed to use any weapon, armor, ring, and consumables;
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    kill any boss in any order;
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    level up;
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    and upgrade freely.
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    [May] Hang on, did--
    [Hammond] It's not really a challenge..
    [May] That's easy.
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    [Clarkson] There's more.
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    You are not allowed to pick up any items.
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    [brief silence to process]
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    [Hammond] Uhhhhh.... which ones.
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    [Clarkson] Well, I reckon it's all of them.
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    [May] So that's like starting gear...
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    [Hammond] And shop items, I guess?
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    [Clarkson] Minus one point for each item you pick up.
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    And bonus points for style, yes!
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    [Hammond] Right! Yes!
    [Clarkson] Flamboyant and fast.
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    [Clarkson] How hard can it be?
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    [Hammond] Don't say that!!!
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    [Music - Chocobo Theme - 60's Surf
    Big Band Ver (The 8-Bit Big Band)]
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    [Clarkson] Well like we've got to ask, okay--
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    [Hammond] You've noticed that.
    [Clarkson & May] Yeah.
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    [Clarkson] This is...
    [Hammond] It's genius.
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    The cleric starts with some miracles,
    and especially, a chime
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    which is surprisingly hard to get
    if you can't pick things up.
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    And as the only game with an
    Ashen Estus Flask,
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    topping off my health
    was going to be no issue.
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    [music cuts]
    Oh, no!
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    [music resumes]
    Not the best start.
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    But healing is like a skill issue.
    oh, for god's sakes...
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    Still, we had a solid early weapon,
    and a shield to score some style points.
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    I mean, it's gotta be worth
    like one pickup, right?
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    After actually losing all my style points,
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    I headed to Firelink shrine
    to enact my second master plan.
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    There's a lot of stuff you can pick up
    even before entering the High Wall.
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    ...Oh, right. Pick up, huh.
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    No Ashen Estus meant that
    I was stuck with three flasks.
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    Things weren't looking great.
    That's just cruel.
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    Let's say you want an item.
    You could pick it up, which we can't.
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    You could buy one, but did you know
    there is another? [another way?]
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    Bosses and unique enemies can deposit
    items directly into your inventory.
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    Quest is going to be an
    important part as well,
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    since we cant just kill NPCs to get items.
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    [Emma]...and raise this banner to proceed.
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    [Vordt roars badly]
    Vordt. Not really a challenge right now.
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    Plus zero is as good a start as any.
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    But it all goes downhill from here
    if we can't reinforce our gear.
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    [BONK]
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    Speaking of upgrades, titanite shards
    aren't dropped by crystal lizards,
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    so we need to buy those.
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    For this, we take a quick trip
    up to the Old Wolf of Farron bonfire.
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    [music cuts]
    ..........................................
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    [Music - 疑惑の先に (Persona 5 Tactica)]
    Not only was I unable to pick anything up,
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    I was locked out from buying most
    shop items as well. Well, its just my luck
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    that I pick the only game where buying
    things require you to pick something up.
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    Still, could be worse.
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    [Music stops]
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    (Clarkson, muttering)
    maniac.
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    maniac.
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    yobbo.
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    mania-oh well oh hold on i think
    there's a chance here--
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    [Music - Tarantula (Nuclear Option)]
    A famous man once said:
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    "A man's worth is shown not by the wealth
    he possesses, but by the respect he earns."
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    If you think about it, as long as you
    don't take any hits, and can deal damage,
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    you can kind of beat the entire game.
    I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
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    After making my way to the Firekeeper,
    (that's the EMERALD HERALD you swine)
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    I received my one and only estus, as
    there was no way to upgrade it any further
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    Oh, for Christ's sake...
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    Now, the next step requires
    around 200 souls,
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    which can be obtained like this:
    [barehanded parry+riposte]
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    With four Hollows dead,
    we can now afford a single firebomb.
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    The plan is to hit the barrels
    on the other side.
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    [bomb explodes, nothing happens]
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    Well, ...it could be worse.
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    After blowing a hole in the wall,
    [BOOM]
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    our next step is to jump on
    top of the railing and over the ladder.
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    This will cause the Pursuer to come down.
    Next, we run straight towards the bonfire,
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    being careful not to let our stamina
    run out completely,and sit on the bonfire.
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    {PURSUER CHEESE}
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    Now, we have enough souls to afford
    a weapon, but do we really need one?
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    The Ring of Blades also increases our
    bare hand damage, and that's all we need.
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    Now. I believe in speed. Power.
    Power and speed solves many things.
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    [bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk]
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    [more weak and slow bonking]
    POWERR! POWER, COME ON--
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    [stomped into the floor] [music cuts]
    Speed and power doesn't work.
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    Still, could be worse.
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    [Music - Sprixie Kingdom
    (Super Mario 3D World)]
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    (May) It is absolutely necessary
    to have a plan on everything.
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    So I've taken the liberty of
    researching every route,
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    and items sold by every merchant.
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    Naturally, our first move was to head to
    Firelink Shrine, and review our options.
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    [music fanfares]
    oh, cock. (hammond and clarkson laugh)
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    Shut up.
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    (Hammond) Because we were working
    as a team, we decided to leave him behind.
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    [Music - Raise the Anchor!
    (Super Robot Wars V)]
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    (Hammond) We can't buy titanite shards,
    and crystal lizards don't drop them.
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    But they do drop something else.
    [TWINKLING TITANITE]
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    This wasn't really useful, unless you had
    an NPC called Greirat,
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    that can sell both Twinkling Titanites
    and Twinkling Titanite weapons.
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    [music cuts as dogs attack]
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    [Music - Memoir #2 (May Roosvelt)]
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    [longing for greirat]
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    [Music - When Trumpets Fade (SNOW06)
    (Tiny Tank)]
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    (Clarkson) With my tail between my legs,
    I decided to give in to the temptation.
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    I'm sure you've seen this like a millionth
    time, but it's an important trick to know.
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    Basically, what you do here is wait
    six steps, and then roll to the right,
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    and it's easy as--
    [MGS noticed sfx]
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    Oh, for Christ's sake...
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    After defeating the Dragonrider
    on our first try, it was time to
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    gather up all the souls, spend a total of
    10k quid, and receive the snake ring.
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    Now we have a limited
    amount of Titanite Shards,
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    [Music - King of the Shingai (Code Vein)]
    so we need to buy
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    the best weapon in the world,
    and stick with it.
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    After considering every possible detail,
    ranging from moveset to damage,
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    the choice was obvious.
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    This- (May) Is that a hoe?
    (Clarkson) -is all you- (laughs)
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    It's an elegant weapon;
    fast, and deals strike damage.
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    Everything you could ever want.
    A marvel of engineering,
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    and probably the first tool ever used.
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    AND THERE'S THE FINISH LINE!
    POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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    Sometimes I stagger even myself
    with my genius.
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    After a short victory lap, I made my way up to the Lost Bastille.
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    I have enough souls to buy six large shards. That's a +6 club.
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    Still, could be worse.
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    Yes, he's dead. So that's ten points away there. And if you want a job on Top Gear, please write to Top Gear-
Title:
Top Gear - Dark Souls 1/2/3 Special
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
01:31:40

English subtitles

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