You DO NOT Want To Go To China

This is why I should never go back to China

. Neither should you.

Welcome to China Uncensored. I'm Chris Chapel

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So, China really wants foreigners to come visit

. They got travel ads, panda videos

, and social media influencers saying

, "Come visit China and stay a while

." And now the Chinese Communist

Party is really leaning into that full

authentic Chinese experience by trapping

Americans in the country and not letting them leave

. Last week, news broke that

China had slapped exit bans on two American citizens

. One is a Wells Fargo banker

. The other works for the US

government's patent and trademark office

. Now, the Wells Fargo employee,

Tenu Mao, has not been arrested

according to Chinese authorities.

She's just not allowed to leave.

Leave it to the CCP to be so evil.

They actually make me feel bad for a Wells Fargo employee

. As for the US government employee

, he flew to China to visit family

. Super sweet.

But Chinese authorities then accused him of a heinous crime

, not mentioning on his

visa application that he worked for the US government

. Was it a minor clerical error

? or is he an American spy who

works for the US Patent and Trademark Office?

Obviously, the CCP thinks it's the second one

. That might seem insane,

but if you're the CCP, well, that's what you do

. Send your average citizens to spy on America

. That's why Chinese college

students keep getting arrested for

filming US military bases. So, of

course, if you're making your citizens

spy on everyone, everyone else must be

making their citizens spy on you. This

is what happens when a government runs

on paranoia, espionage, and absolutely zero self-awareness

. Now, you might be wondering, how can the CCP even think

they can get away with not letting US

citizens leave?

Well, both of these US citizens are

ethnically Chinese, and the CCP treats

Chinese people like pandas.

They keep them under 24-hour surveillance.

Also, no matter where Chinese people live, no

matter where they were born, to the CCP,

Chinese people, just like pandas, always belong to China

. And if you think putting exit bans on these two Americans

is some rare fluke, nope.

China's been doing this kind of thing for years.

In 2018, China put exit bans on two Chinese American siblings

. They didn't commit a crime

, but the CCP wanted to pressure their father

, who they considered a fugitive

, to return to China to face criminal charges

. Didn't matter that

those kids had cut ties with their dads many years earlier

. They were held in China for three years

. They were only

allowed to leave when the US made a deal

to send Huawei executive and actual

criminal M Wong Joe back to China.

That's why it's called hostage diplomacy.

As of last year, one rights group

estimated that there were more than 30

Americans under exit bans in China.

And it's not just Americans.

Just this month, a Chinese court sentenced a

Japanese man to more than three years in

prison on espionage charges,

which may or may not be completely made up.

He's actually been detained since March of 2023.

Yeah, more than 2 years in prison

without even being charged.

The Japanese ambassador to China called the

sentencing extremely regrettable and

added that these detentions are a huge

obstacle to people-to-people exchanges

and public sentiment between the two countries

, which makes sense when trying

to form new relationships.

The number one thing people on dating apps look for

is someone who won't kidnap and imprison them

. Number two is a sense of humor.

Since 2014, 17 Japanese citizens with

business or other connections to China

have been detained. Five of them are

still being detained in China.

Now, you might be wondering, given how the CCP

can just kidnap anyone, any time,

why would anybody still go to China?

The CCP might respond, "Shut up and look at the

glittering skyscrapers and the Great Wall and pandas

. Yes, cute, cuddly pandas

." The CCP has a massive

propaganda campaign to hoodwink foreigners

. for example, inviting

YouTubers like I show speed to run

around screaming China number one while

conveniently avoiding any sensitive topics whatsoever

. And it works.

Investors clap, tourists go, executives

board flights with blind optimism and zero exit strategy

. So, the next time you see one of those beautiful tourism

videos about visiting China, remember

they're not showing you the full

experience because the part where you

disappear for national security reasons

doesn't fit the vibe of magical journey to the Orient

. Before you go, leave a

honeypot emoji in the comments to piss

off Xi Jinping and click on this other

episode of China Uncensored that the

algorithm is absolutely sure you'll like

. Once again, I'm Chris Chapel. See you next time.