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Without true love, life has no meaning.
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There is no happiness. There is no joy.
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So you have to learn how to feed our love
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so that our love will continue to grow.
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In the teaching of the Buddha,
love has no boundaries.
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True love is a kind of love
that grows, always.
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When love stops to grow,
it begins to die.
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It is like a tree.
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If the tree stops growing,
it begins to die.
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Our love is the same.
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The first element of true love
is a maitrī - loving kindness,
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that capacity to offer happiness.
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If you are a true lover,
you should be able to offer happiness.
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Without the capacity to offer happiness,
that's not true love.
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For true love,
you offer yourself happiness,
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and you offer the other person happiness.
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The willingness, the desire
to make another person happy,
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is not enough.
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And if you do not know how
to make yourself happy,
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it's hard to make another person happy.
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That is the teaching of the Buddha
on maitrī,
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cultivating maitrī,
cultivating loving kindness.
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And a true lover is capable
of making happiness,
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offering happiness to himself, to herself,
and to the other person.
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And you cannot impose your idea
of happiness on the other person.
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You have to understand that person
before you can make him or her happy.
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Understand the difficulties,
the need, the suffering.
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You have to understand him or her.
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And that kind of understanding
is the foundation of love.
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The second element of true love is karuna.
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Karuna means compassion.
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That is the capacity
to help remove the pain,
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the sorrow, the fear from a person.
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The intention is not enough.
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You have to be able to help that person
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remove the pain, the suffering,
the fear in him or her.
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And if you know
how to do that for yourself,
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you will know how to help
that person to do the same.
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You have to understand your suffering,
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and then you can understand
the suffering of the other person,
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and help her to suffer less, and transform.
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That is karuna.
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The second element of true love.
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If you do not have that element
in our love, it's not true love.
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The third element of true love
is joy, muditā.
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If you cry every day and you make
the other person cry every day,
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that's not true love.
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So, the mark of true love is joy.
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And you can recognize true love
by this aspect, joy.
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You are able to offer joy
for him, to her, to yourself.
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And the last element of true love
is inclusiveness,
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no discrimination.
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When you are in love, in true love,
your suffering is her suffering.
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Her happiness is your happiness.
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There is no longer
individual happiness or suffering.
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There is no frontier
between the lover and the beloved.
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Non-discrimination is telling us that
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true love is the kind of love
that always grows.
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There is no limit to true love.
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You may begin with one person,
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but if your true love continues to grow,
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and then you include all of us
into your true love,
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that is the love of a Buddha.
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You not only love him or her,
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you love the whole humanity,
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you love all species,
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and you love the environment,
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and your love continues to grow
until it embraces everything.
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That is equanimity, that is upeksha,
no discrimination,
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inclusiveness.
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So the teaching of true love,
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offered by the Buddha,
is very deep, very practical.
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So the practitioner should be a lover,
a true lover.