New Girl | Jess Meets Jake Peralta and the 99th Precinct Department

Excuse me, sir. Is this the line?

What a New York character.

You're a New York character.

Oh, sorry. I was just standing in line

behind you. Don't want to get in a

pickle. That's just deadly fun.

Oh, there you go, sweetheart.

Okay. There we go.

Hi. Do you have special. This is a.

Cream cheese line. Next.

You still here? I'm sorry.

Next?

Yes.

Too slow.

Next.

Two pounds of white fish.

Beautiful baby. Don't talk to me.

Okay.

43, 44, 45, 46, 46.

Two black and whites.

Excuse me.

I'm 45. Yeah, he already called it

slowpoke. There you go.

Welcome to New York.

No. I'm 45.

45 is before 46.

You'll get your damn cookies when you

give me your ass.

One large special soup now.

What else you got New York.

You want to step into me?

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

NYPD. Ma'am, I need to commandeer this

vehicle.

You want to commandeer this vehicle,

then you're going to have to commandeer

this ass.

Thanks a lot New York. Watch my soup

. Ahh! Damn it.

You commandeer my friend's mom's car

and then you crash it. That's like me

asking to borrow your dumb cop.

Jacket and then just crashing it.

Man, I thought I had this city licked,

but in the end, it was me who got

licked. Wait.

Did that actually happen?

Because there have been some reported

lickings recently. And if you've got a

good look at the guy, I was.

Obviously speaking metaphorically.

Right.

Me too. Our city is wonderful.

It's a great place to walk around.

So what about my friend's mom's car?

Let me guess. There's nothing you can

do.

No, ma'am. Listen, everything's going to

be fine. Just go to the 99th Precinct,

and I promise you, you will be treated

in the most efficient and pleasant way

imaginable.

Proof of ownership, liability release,

waiver of responsibility, smog check.

Non operation of a boat, waiver of some

liability release.

Yadda. Da da da da.

And da. This is an application to join

the NYPD softball team.

You think I like sitting here handing

you form after form?

Kind of.

You're right. I do.

God, it's like you're in here.

Well, your car should be fixed by

morning.

How do I know you're not lying?

I never lie. Although I told my mother

her hair looked good once, and it

didn't just looked okay.

Okay. I believe you. Even though you're

from the city of garbage, water and

pizza.

What is your problem with this city?

Oh, I've just never had a good

experience here.

I came here once before, and it was a

complete disaster.

Did you go to the opera and were

disappointed? It's this new director?

No, I actually. I had this great week

planned, and then thing after thing

went wrong. And then I cut my trip off

early. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's when that was?

Obviously I don't know, because I have

no idea what you're talking about.

I left early and I went home and

surprised my boyfriend.

Who's that girl.

It's Jess.

Oh.

Spencer was the actual worst.

He called sex making tacos.

Well, you know what I always say things

happen for a reason.

Yes.

And the reason that New York sucked was

because I was supposed to catch Bender.

No, you didn't let me.

Because I wasn't supposed to end up with

him.

I always say things happen for a reason,

and that reason is random chance.

No, you were right the first time New

York wasn't kicking my ass.

It was nudging it gently in the right

direction. Just like you are right now.

Yes. Yes.

That's what's happening. You can't be

mad.

At your past. It makes you who you are.

And. Oh, my God.

I told my friend to do something really

stupid, and I have to go stop him.

Hey, do you want to do something very

super considerate?

We can't provide you with a police

escort.

I wasn't going to ask that.

Yeah, you were. Yeah, it was.

But here, my lunch.

It's not Spiegelman's, But take it.

It's Ling's palace.

It's fine. It's just fine.