The ‘Ugly’ Wife: The Portrait That Tricked King Henry VIII

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This painting catfished a king.

This king who chose to marry this woman
because of this portrait.

But when they met in person
he was disappointed, to say the least.

So, what did the king see in this painting
that he didn't see in real life?

And, most importantly, how did he get
such impressive calves?

It's a tale as old as time,

picture a man, we'll call him Henry.

Henry finally decides to put himself
out there after years of being single.

He starts browsing potential matches
until one really catches his eye.

It's love at first sight
and he insists on meeting her.

But when he does
she's not what he expected.

Henry's in a tough spot but he knows
what he has to do,

marry her immediately.

Wait, what? This piece is called
Anne of Cleves

by Hans Holbein the Younger.

She's best known as The Ugly One

out of King Henry VII's six wives,

but what if I told you that's exactly
what made her the lucky one

Anne stands before a regal
blue background.

She's dressed in a rich red velvet gown
embroidered with gold fabric

and decorated with pearls and gemstones.

The square neckline of her dress
frames her necklaces

including a large black and gold cross
and two gold chains

and reveals a sheer high neck lace garment
underneath.

She faces in our direction,

letting us, letting Henry see her clearly.

Her hands are clasped in front of her,

showing off her many expensive gold rings.

Her hair is concealed beneath
an ornate golden headdress

dripping in pearls and gemstones

with a sheer linen cap
that frames her face.

Her heavy eyelids hang over her amber eyes

which look slightly down
and off to the side.

Her straight on pose paired
with her averted gaze and calm expression

makes her seem present
yet passive at the same time

and it looks like she might be smiling
ever so slightly.

This painting was recently
restored by the L in Paris

allowing us to see Anne
with the same vibrancy and detail

that Henry first saw her,
nearly 500 years ago.

This painting convinced him
to marry her,

a decision he'd soon regret.

The royalty is piping hot,
too hot to sip just yet.

So, while we wait for it to cool

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All right, I think the tea has cooled
down just enough,

now it's time to spill it.

This might not be a beautiful love story

but it's a wild ride buckle up
as we take a trip to England.

October, 24th 1537.

Henry VIII's third wife, Jane Seymour.

has just died from postnatal complications

only days after giving birth
to a baby boy.

By all accounts Henry was heartbroken.

He called Jane his true wife,
his most beloved wife,

high praise from a guy
who would end up with six wives total

over his nearly 40-year reign.

Henry VIII had a habit of obsessing
over women

but when they inevitably fell short
of his unrealistic expectations,

he didn't hesitate to get rid of them.

His first wife Katherine of Aragon
held on the longest

but after years without a male heir

and with Henry's infatuation with one
of her ladies in waiting, Anne Boleyn,

he decided he needed out.

Henry and Anne secretly married
before the annulment was even finalized.

but the same sharp wit and confidence
that drew him to Anne in the first place

wore on him over time

and in Henry's mind, since she wasn't
giving him a son,

she might as well be dead.

So, he killed her.

Anne was accused of adultery,
incest and treason

and, despite no solid evidence,

she was found guilty and beheaded.

Not even two weeks later, Henry married
wife number three, Jane Seymour,

At 46 years old, Henry had lost
his third wife

but gained the male heir
he'd always dreamed of.

Eventually, the King was ready
to find his next queen.

but by this point,
he wasn't much of a catch.

He was reportedly eating
around 5,000 calories a day,

which caused his waistline to balloon.

He had leg ulcers, erectile dysfunction.

— "She's lying off with a head..." —

I forgot that's a sensitive one.

On top of that,
he likely had type 2 diabetes,

chronic digestive issues
and bad constipation.

He did have some
pretty incredible calves though.

Henry had looked better

but his Queen needed
to be in tip-top shape,

she had to be intelligent

but not too opinionated
like wife number two.

She needed to be cultured.

Henry played the recorder after all.

She needed to be calm and patient
to balance the king's erratic temper

and, of course, she needed
to give him another male heir.

Henry only became king after the death
of his older brother Arthur

which left him obsessed
with securing the Tudor dynasty.

But, above all, Henry's fourth queen
4th Queen had to be smoking hot.

At first, Henry had the idea to gather
all of the eligible women in one place

and judge them in a giant beauty parade

but the court was scandalized
by such an idea

so, instead Henry sent his ambassadors
across the courts of Europe

to scope out his options.

Unfortunately for him there weren't many.

Most women were either too young,
or already married

or just not excited about the idea
of marrying a wife killer.

There was Marie of Guise, who declined,

there was Christina of Denmark
a 16-year-old widow

who everyone said was tall, beautiful,
with an enduring glift

and a really nice pair of hands.

Henry was intrigued but,
before making a decision,

he needed to see her for himself.

So, he sent his trusted court painter
Hans Holbein, the Younger,

to capture a realistic portrait of her.

This is what he came back with.

Henry was sold, she was perfect.

Christina, on the other hand,
rejected him, saying,

"If I had two heads, one should be
at the king of England's disposal."

Things weren't looking great for Henry

but there was another option.

The king's Ambassador, John Hutton,

casually mentioned to Henry's
chief adviser Thomas Cromwell

that the Duke of Cleaves had a daughter
but he also added

"there is no great praise
for her personage or beauty."

Thomas Cromwell decided
to overlook this little detail,

a decision he would sorely regret.

but as Henry's default matchmaker Cromwell
wasn't just thinking about looks

he was also thinking about strategy,

years earlier Henry had cut ties
with the Catholic Church

to anull his marriage
to Catherine of Aragon

leaving England isolated in Europe,

Cromwell's solution to this problem
was to strenghten ties

with Protestant leaders in Germany

specifically Anne's brother,
William Duke of Cleaves

and besides some reports did say
Anne was quite lovely.

Despite the mixed reviews on her looks,

Cromwell assured the king of Anne's beauty

saying "every man praiseth the beauty
of the same lady

"as well for the face as for
the whole body."

So, once again Henry sent Holbein
the Younger out

to paint a portrait of Anne
and her sister Amalia for good measure.

He instructed Holbein to b
as accurate as possible

and not to flatter the sisters

and what he came back with
was absolutely stunning.

The vivid colors, the intricate details,

he captured, each individual eyebrow hair,

the slight asymmetry of her face,
even the beauty mark beside her mouth.

Who could say no to a portrait like this?

Not Henry VIII.

Anne arrived in England
on New Year's Day 1540

and Henry decided to make their
first meeting extra cringe

by disguising himself as a peasant,

because, in Henry's mind,
if their love was truly meant to be

Anne would be instantly drawn to him
even without knowing he was the king,

an interesting idea but, in practice,
it was a total disaster.

Chronicler Charles Risley
describes the scene:

"The King so went up into the chamber

"where the said Lady Anne was looking
out of a window to see the bull- baiting

"which was going on in the courtyard

"and suddenly he embraced and kissed her,

"and showed her a token which the king
had sent her for a New Year's gift.

"and she being abashed
and not knowing who it was tha led him,

"and so he spoke with her.

"But she regarded him little."

Aparently, it didn´t cross Henry's mind
that a young woman might not like

a 6-foot tall, 300 pounds stranger
barging

into her chamber unannounced
and attacking her with his lips.

Nevertheless, the king ego
was badly bruised

and after their meeting
he reportedly grumbled

"I like her not, I like her not."

Henry found Anne dull, awkward
and, in his own words:

"Nothing so fair
as she hath been reported."

He even called her a "flanders mare"

comparing her to a horse.

The delicate demure woman
he anticipated was,

in the words of historian Tracy Borman

"tall, big-boned
and strong-featured.

The king immediately blamed
his chief adviser, Thomas Cromwell,

for exaggerating Anne's beauty.

Heny dressed Cromwell to find a way
out of the marriage

but calling it off at this point

would have risked England's alliance
with the Germans

Henry and Anne were married
on January 6th 1540

after their wedding night,
Henry reported:

"I liked her before not well
but now I like her much worse."

He claimed that Anne's body
was so disordered

that he couldn't consummate the marriage

and that she had breasts so slack
and other parts of her body in such sort

that he questioned
if she was really a virgin.

What's even more heartbreaking is that,

despite Henry's cruel
and degrading comments,

Anne only had nice things to say
about her new husband.

She told one of her ladies in waiting:

"When he comes to bed, he kisseth me

"and he taketh me by the hand
and beth me, good night, sweetheart.

"And in the morning kisseth me
and bith farewell darling",

to which her lady in waiting replied:

"Madame, there must be
more than this,

or it will be long air
we have a Duke of York

which all this realm most desireth.

So, yeah they weren't doing it.

But I think now is a good time
to mention

that this wasn't
because of Henry, of course,

because Henry was really good
at all things,

buffet I mean, bedroom related.

Just a few months into the marriage,
Henry was already plotting his escape plan,

this time for one
of Anne's ladies in waiting,

Catherine Howard.

And throughout the final months
of his marriage to Anne,

the 49-year-old king
could frequently be seen

visiting the 17-year-old's chambers.

Anne's marriage to Henry
only lasted around 6 months,

the shortest of all of his six wives.

By this point, England no longer needed
an alliance with Cleaves

and Henry saw the opening
he needed to cut ties.

Henry claimed their union
wasn't legitimate

because they never
consummated the marriage.

He also pointed to Anne's
previous informal betral

to Francis Duke of Lorraine

even though that arrangement
had been called off

long before the wedding.

Anne found out about the annulment

just days before it was finalized.

She accepted the news calmly
and without protest

but behind closed doors,
she was terrified,

because she knew
what happened to Anne Boleyn.

Luckily for her, she didn't share
the same fate.

When she stepped down as Queen,

the king's ambassador remarked,

"It is a matter of great regret
to these people

"who loved and esteemed her

as the sweetest most gracious
and kindest queen.

that they had ever known
or desired for a long time.

Henry's marriage to Anne was officially
annuled on July 9th 1540

and before August came around

he was already married
to Catherine Howard.

But what's really going on here?

Was Anne actually
as unattractive as Henry claimed?

Did Holbein's portrait
really misrepresent her?

It seems pretty unlikely that Holbein
would have intentionally misled the king

though there's a chance
he may have embellished a bit.

Maybe her extravagant clothing
helped draw attention from herface

or perhaps he kep captured her
at a flattering angle.

Holbein was known
for his incredibly lifelike portraits

but he also had a way of subtly
infusing personality into his depictions.

Take his portrait
of Sir Richard Southwell for example.

With his cold and calculating expression,

Erasmus with his sharp features

and focused gaze emphasizing
his intelligence and wit.

Holbein definitely painted Anne
with a gentle hand

which may have been
a reflection of her kind

and generous nature.

She was well liked by everyone.

Holbein probably liked her too.

What goes against this though
is that the king's ambassadors said

that Holbein's portrait
was a good likeness of Anne.

So, maybe the annulment
had less to do with her appearance

than Henry let on.

When Henry and Anne met,
they didn't even speak the same language.

Henry wanted a wife
who was educated and cultured

but Anne was brought up

in a completely different world than Henry

and never received a formal education.

What's more, the King thought

that the way she dressed
was foreign and weird

and did her best to adapt.

She picked up some English
and learned a few Court customs

but she wasn't really around long enough
to fully adjust.

Both Holbein and Anne of Cleves
made it out of the volatile tutor Court

without losing their heads.

which I think speaks
to how clever and diplomatic

they both were with the king.

In Holbein's case though

it also shows just
how indispensable he really was.

In an era before photography,

being a skilled portrait
was basically a superpower

and Holbein was one
of the greatest of his time.

His talent didn't just bring him

into the circles
of the most powerful people

of the 16th century,

it helped him survive while he was there

but not everyone was so lucky.

Thomas Cromwell, the man who arranged
Henry's marriage to Anne,

took the fall for its failure.

He was beheaded the same exact day

the King married his next wife,
Katherine Howard.

It's hard not to feel bad
for Anne of Cleves,

a young woman sent to a foreign country

to marry a man twice her age

only to be rejected and humiliated,

so humiliated that she never
even returned home to Cleves ever again.

Somehow saying all of that
out loud makes it sound even worse

but was Anne really
the ugly one of Henry's wives?

I don't know, it's pretty much impossible
to know, I guess,

mostly because it's so subjective.

But I do know that she was the lucky one.

Anne handled her marriage
and annulment like a queen.

Henry didn't take kindly to people
disagreeing with with him

and Anne was smart enough
to keep her mouth shut.

Because of this she walked away
a very wealthy woman

receiving a huge annual allowance
and several estates

making her one of the richest women
in England

and only a few months after the annulment
she was thriving.

The French Ambassador reported:

"Madame of Cleves has a more
joyous countenance than ever

She wears a great variety of dresses

and passes all of her time
in sports and recreations.

Anne remained close with Henry
and his daughters

for the rest of the King's life.

She was referred to
as the King's beloved sister

and Henry occasionally
sought her advice on important matters.

Of course not everything
was rainbows and butterflies.

Anne had been cast aside
and demeaned

and despite her reserved nature,

she wasn't above throwing
a few jabs of her own.

She was offended
by the King's next wife,

Catherine Howard,

and didn't hesitate to claim

that she was
the more attractive of the two.

After Catherine was beheaded
for cheating on Henry with her cousin,

there was talk of Anne reclaiming
her title as Queen

but Henry shut that down immediately.

Anne wasn't shy about her opinion
on his next wife Catherine Parr.

reportedly saying,

"Madame Parr is taking
a great burden on herself"

and honestly she wasn't wrong

as Henry only grew more
angry and paranoid with age.

Anne's financial arrangement
with Henry was never truly secure

and always subject to change

which is probably
why she never remarried.

She lived out her life in England
and died of cancer at 41,

outliving Henry and his five other wives.

Christina of Denmark is often referred
to as the one that got away

but I think Anne should have
this title too.

She was intelligent, kind,
poised and I think she looks great.

Unlike... I seemed to have forgotten
what I was going to say...

Plus she never had
to consummate the marriage

which only adds to her lore

but if she missed anything
about being Queen

it had to be waking up every morning
to those beautiful calves