THE GREATEST MAN 0N THE 1NTERNET

-What's happenin', guys?

All right, I'm gonna show you what may very well be

the greatest man on the Internet.

No, wait. First, let me do this one.

Have you guys ever seen a talking raven?

-Waka waka waka waka.

Nevermore.

Waka waka waka wak.

Nevermore.

Quoth The Raven.

I don't think that's how the poem went.

Anyway, the person who sent this to me was like,

"That's so Raven!"

Touche.

Now, as creepy as this bird is,

people are telling me this video is fake.

Which makes sense, 'cause that bird kind of sounds like that Microsoft text-to-speech, don't he?

-Nevermore.

Waka waka waka wak.

-Either that or he was raised by Fozzy Bear.

All right, there's this morning show is New Zealand.

And one of the hosts here is about to announce the name of a diplomat.

Now, the diplomat's name is Diksit, but it's spelled like this.

Yeah, I know.

The name is apparently Indian

and I guess the host, like, finds it funny.

-Also, the Dipshit woman.

[laughs] What's her name?

Dikshit. [snickers]

Is it Dikshit?

-Diksit.

-Dik-sit.

-Oh, Diksit.

-I know it does Paul, but it's not that.

It's--there she is--Sheila Dikshit.

[laughing squeakily]

-Really, dude?

What are you, twelve?

Hey man, the fifth grade called.

They want their...

fifth grade back--shut up.

Now here's the worst part:

Sheila Dikshit is a respected Indian diplomat

and this dude can't get over her name.

-So, how--we asked Mrs. Dikshit--[cracking up]

--of the apartments was like--

-Now, this video got like 100,000 views in four days,

and admittedly, it's funny to watch him laugh.

But then he says something...

-Anyway, and it's so appropriate 'cause she's Indian.

So it should be Dick-in-shit, wouldn't she?

-Sss..ahh...yeah.

Not sure if that joke's gonna fly on a network morning show.

And you know the entire country of Indian saw that and was like, "Oh no, he didn't."

I can't be mad at the guy though,

'cause if I hosted a network morning show, that's exactly how I would be.

Except that I would wait for the woman to get on the show and then I'd be like...

"Ahh, your name is Dikshit!

Dikshit in da house!"

Okay, so here it is.

Are you ready for it?

Now let me introduce you to this guy.

And this guy may very well be the greatest man on the Internet.

Literally, all he does is look at the camera with a little pedo-smile.

Oh, you didn't miss anything.

He's just smiling.

Looking back at the world with that date-rape face.

Just look at him,

making sex eyes at you, ain't he?

This is how every porn movie starts.

[sexy R&B music playing]

All right, I'm not gonna lie guys,

this dude's pedo-smile could seduce anyone.

Let me put it this way,

before he saw this guy,

Doogie Howser was straight.

No, but this guy's date rape face was enough to get his video over 800,000 views.

And of course,

I mean, you just look at him creepin' and you can't help but laugh.

And then you show your friends and then they start laughing,

and then you show this talk show host and he starts laughing.

-[laughing]

-Anyway,

greatest man on the Internet, right there.

But you know what else is great?

My pedo-smile.

[sexy R&B music playing]

Yeah, that was terrible.

And not nearly as awesome as the comment question of the day,

which comes from a user named, bing!, and she said...

-If you saw or met Lindsay Lohan at a party,

what would you say to her?

-So if you saw Lindsay Lohan at a party,

what would you say?

Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below

or on Facebook or Twitter.

But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.

I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.

So tell me guys,

what's the meaning of life?

[Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing]

Captioned by SpongeSebastian

-[laughing]