Roast of Gabriel Iglesias (LCS Season 4 Ep. 6) Part Two

Josh Blue:"Hey thank you, how's it going?

*no response*

Very convincing, alright.

This is weird for me it's like roasting

the Stay-Puff marshmallow man.

Apparently you've already been roasted.

You're so toasty brown and delicious.

They say you are what you eat,

that poor Vietnamese family.

Gabriel doesn't know when he picks up

ladies until he goes home and shakes.

So did you get a lot of money for your tusks?"

Jim Norton:"How many people see you when

they're high, and immediately quit.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Rebecca Corry."

Rebecca:"Well, you'd have to be an idiot

to not notice how fat Gabe is.

Did you know that Gabe was a premi?

He was, he came out 2 weeks early
because he was hungry.

That was a good one,
that was a good one.

That was a good one right?

Ya , Kristen, oh boy, she's a little on the

skinny side and it's not all of her fault

because if you had to look at yourself naked

in the mirror like that everyday

you'd barf too.

Oh come on, come on.

Come on, come on, ya.
All in good fun.

You know what Gabe does try,

he does try to watch what he eats

but he can't see his mouth because

his face is too fat.

That's a good one too. Oh."

TY:"We got a lot of people here I'm

very fond of Rebecca, uh the only

thing shorter than Rebecca is Gabriel's

options as an athlete. Um,

or a, Josh's options as a sniper."

Michelle:"I'm glad to meet
Gabe he's a nice guy.

He was a little upset it was a roast,

because he was hoping it would be fried.

It's a good thing that as a Mexican you

were born in this country, because

I can't see you climbing that fence."

Kristen :"When I first met Gabe I was

kind of jealous because he's so successful

and he's well established, and I'm a young

comic just having trouble getting my foot

in the door. And then I thought well Gabe

has trouble fitting through the fucking door

so I'll let it go.

*complete silence*

You know what I like about Gabriel?

That he doesn't fit into the Mexican stereotype

he's not too lazy to steal,

food off of anybody's plate.

*complete silence*

Wow, tough room"

Jim:"Ladies and gentlemen please help me

welcome a woman who will have a fine

career if Queen Latifah dies.

Roz, give her a nice hand."

Roz:"Me and Gabe went to McDonald's

last week before we came to the house.

And when he ordered his
food at McDonald's

it sounded like a phone number.

He said:"Let me get a 3-1-0-4-2-6-

censored

and a Pepsi truck bitch
because I'm thirsty!""

Chris:"Jim Nortons a great guy he actually

lives in my neighborhood, I know this

because the judge made him come tell us.

We got Phyllis Diller here, I couldn't be

more excited I've read all about you in the

encyclopedia.

If you don't know Kristen Key you will

she's about to make a name for herself

as a poor mans Ellen DeGeneres.

A fact to Paul Rodriguez,

you all know he is the rock

that chased Indiana Jones.

But he does have his nay-say,

some people think he's nothing but a fat,

ugly, piece of shit.

And while the truth may be on their side,

they are not going to stop this man,

he will survive, for at least another 3 years.

He has the distinction of being the only

comic visible from space.

I think he's cute, but I'm into big beep.

All serious Gabriel, it's been a pleasure to

meet you, you're a hero of mine,

and it's a pleasure to call you my friend.

Thank you buddy."

Jim:"How about a nice hand,

for the man of the hour, Gabriel Iglesias."

Gabriel:"Alright!

It is so nice to be here with all these great

comedians, or as I like to refer to them,

runners up. Ha!

Ya, you know come on what can I say.

Ty man what's going on.

Ty is NBC's first metro sexual black man.

Who's he kidding he's 2 shots of tequila

away from redecorating my house.

We got Kristen over here, she has been

bragging all week that she said if she made

it this far, she was going to quit her job.

Well you did it girl your this far,
congratulations

from now on she's banging midgets for free.

And Rebecca Corry couldn't be
happier let me tell you.

And Josh Blue man, proved positive that

Cerebral Palsy will fuck you up.

And last but not least,

I got to tell you that Roz has taken comedy

to the next level. Damn shame she

can't make it up them stairs to reach it.

I love you guys!"
Captioned by Danyoul