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Laura 20250613

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    [David] All right.
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    So, yeah, I'm kind of curious.
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    I mean, always something that...
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    Can you tell me a little bit about
    how you first met Dachen Rinpoche?
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    I don't remember that part.
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    [Laura] I may not have told you.
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    I don't tell a lot of people.
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    [David] Oh.
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    [Laura] Who are you gonna
    be sharing this with?
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    [David] Sorry?
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    [Laura] Is anyone gonna
    see this recording?
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    [David] Julie Hamilton is just
    doing the transcription with me.
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    I mean, if you don't wanna say,
    that's fine.
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    I mean, you have...
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    [Laura] No, no, that's okay.
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    It's gonna be a transcription
    rather than a recording.
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    Okay.
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    Yeah, so, well, you know about my stint
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    living on the street, right?
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    [David] Only briefly.
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    Yeah, I've seen it.
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    Yeah, briefly.
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    [Laura] Yeah, because you were there
    when I first got to the monastery.
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    [David] Right, right.
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    [Laura] And so...
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    I had met Dagmola in the 90's.
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    I think in '94 when I first
    came here from Australia.
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    And my family friend
    was also Dagmola's friend.
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    Her name was Edna Dropnack.
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    And she was a Christian, but
    she was a very kind woman.
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    And when she saw the articles
    in the newspaper
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    about the Sakya family
    arriving in the US
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    and they're the first Tibetan family
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    and there were the pictures of Dagmola
    looking at an oven with amazement
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    and things like that.
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    She had been sponsoring
    some Nepalese pilots,
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    and they lived at her house
    and she cooked for them and stuff
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    while they were doing
    some training here
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    and they had a connection
    to Dagmola.
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    And so, Edna just felt so bad for Dagmola
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    because here she was a refugee,
    she had five sons,
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    just the whole thing was,...
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    she just had a lot of compassion for her
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    and felt for her as a mother.
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    And so she offered to babysit the dongsays,
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    and they would go over to her house
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    and play ping-pong in her basement.
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    And I also played ping-pong
    in her basement.
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    I came along about a decade after them.
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    And then she would also
    clean Dagmola's house for Losar
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    because she knew that
    was important to her.
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    And so they developed this
    really deep friendship
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    from early on.
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    And so when I first came to the
    U.S. from Australia,
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    where I had been living and working
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    Edna introduced me,.
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    She took me to the monastery
    and introduced me to Dgmola
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    and I got Dagmola's book, but I didn't
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    read it for another few years.
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    And then I finally did read her book,
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    I think like in 1999 or something,
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    and I was so inspired by it.
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    But at that time, I was going through
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    some transition, and it was with
    my partner at the time,
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    who was Glenn, who was famous,
    not in a good way.
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    But Glenn was a black belt in martial arts.
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    He had a black belt in Aikido and
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    a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu.
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    And he had won some international
    competitions and stuff.
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    And so he wanted to go down to
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    LA to study Jiu-Jitsu and to compete.
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    And at the time he had a
    Jiu-Jitsu school in Seattle.
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    So we sold the school and we moved to LA
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    and then things just did not
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    go right for us when we got to LA.
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    And he couldn't get a job,
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    I couldn't get a job,
    we ran out of money.
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    Okay, so the long and short of it
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    is that we ran out of money
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    and then we decided that we
    didn't want to be work,
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    be slave labor just to pay taxes
    and insurance and work our butts off for nothing.
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    So then we decided, well, why
    don't we just drop off the grid?
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    So, and this was right after 9-11
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    We were living in a cabin at
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    the top of Cougar Mountain that didn't have
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    electricity or running water or anything.
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    But then we had to leave there,
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    so we moved into our truck.
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    We had a Ford Ranger, and we put
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    the tarp from the Jiu-Jitsu school, we
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    had this tarp over the mats in the
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    Jiu-Jitsu school, and we put it over
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    the back of the truck with some bamboo
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    to support it.
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    And that became our home for the next
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    three years.
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    And so luckily, I didn't have any worries
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    about safety because Glenn was a martial artist.
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    And so it was easy, and I had
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    a dog, so I never worried about safety,
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    and I was lucky.
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    But my real motivation for doing this was
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    I thought that if I didn't have to
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    work, and I had no schedule, and didn't
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    have to be anywhere, then I could just
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    meditate all day, right?
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    And I would get enlightened, right?
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    [David] Okay, yeah.
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    Okay, well, I found out the hard way
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    because, you know, I realized that when you're
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    uncomfortable and you're scared and you're cold and
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    you're hungry, that you really can't meditate.
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    So anyway, I've been to the monastery a
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    few times, handful of times, in the 90s,
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    and I really connected to the place.
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    It just felt so right to be there,
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    but I had no idea what was going
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    on with the practices.
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    It's like they were in Tibetan, didn't understand
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    it.
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    So I didn't go back consistently.
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    But then Glenn and I got in a
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    lot of trouble.
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    We had decided that we were going to
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    drive a car across the country with no
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    money, and we wanted to see if we
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    can do it.
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    And so it was kind of an adventure,
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    and also I wanted to document the status
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    of the Fourth Amendment, at that time, George
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    Bush was in power, and I could see
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    that our rights were getting stripped away, even
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    back then.
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    I could see that what is happening now
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    was coming.
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    And so I wanted to document what law
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    enforcement was doing, and the only way I
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    could do that is by putting myself in
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    that position of being homeless.
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    So off we went with our truck and
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    $80 and my video camera, and thank God
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    for that video camera, because I don't know
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    what would have happened to me if I
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    wasn't filming all of this.
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    So we went across the country.
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    We got there, we did get there, and
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    then came back.
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    But by the time we came back, we
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    were so traumatized and paranoid.
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    We were like, okay, where are we going
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    to be safe?
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    We couldn't get back into society because when
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    you don't have an ID and you don't
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    have a home, you don't have a residence,
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    it's like you can't get a job.
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    You can't get a house, you can't get
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    a job.
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    So, and our families weren't helping us at
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    that time because they thought we were nuts,
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    and we were, kinda.
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    And so then we were like, where are
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    we going to be safe?
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    So we were like, okay, let's go to
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    Canada.
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    Wrong decision.
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    Very, very bad decision.
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    There are like no handouts in Canada.
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    And people hate Americans, and they especially hate
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    homeless Americans.
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    And I didn't know there were rednecks in
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    Canada.
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    Yeah, in like the Kamloops area.
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    We ended up, they ended up,
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    we were in the woods, and we had
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    built a campfire, and they ended up towing
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    our truck.
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    And then, and then this posse, this posse
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    of, I don't know what they were, I
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    don't know if they were vigilantes, or police,
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    or whatever they were, this posse of people
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    who all we saw were the flashlights coming
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    through the dark.
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    And we were like, oh shit, we gotta
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    go.
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    So we started running through the snow.
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    It's kind of like, you know, a foot
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    of snow.
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    And we ran for two miles.
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    And we lost them.
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    I mean, they were on foot too.
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    I don't think they had snowmobiles.
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    So they were on foot too.
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    They must have decided we weren't worth it.
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    And so we ran for two miles, and
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    finally came to a highway, and then walked
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    to the nearest gas station, and called Glenn's
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    best friend, who was a lawyer.
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    And he sent us money, and we went
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    and had a marvelous night in the hotel.
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    And then the next day, I was like,
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    I am going back to Seattle.
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    I am going to Sakya Monastery.
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    I am parking my truck outside the monastery,
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    and I am not leaving until someone helps
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    me.
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    And so we did that.
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    And so it was a Saturday, and I
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    was in the monastery cleaning, and I had
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    taken to the kitchen floor with a toothbrush.
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    And I was trying to scrub all the
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    dirt out of the cracks on the floor.
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    You know how there's like dirt in the
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    kitchen?
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    Anyway, I was trying to get that out.
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    And Dachen Rinpoche came in, and he said,
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    come here, I want to talk to you.
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    And so we go into his office, and
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    we sit down.
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    And he says, so I want to help
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    you.
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    And he said, you can live here.
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    We have a room, but it's just you.
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    We can't have Glenn or your dog here.
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    But I think it was Elizabeth Stanton and
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    some other people, they're going to help you
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    get a job.
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    So we did that.
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    So I lived in the monastery for three
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    months.
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    But I felt like I had to work
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    really quickly to get Glenn and the dog
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    out of that situation.
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    So I got a job at a coffee
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    shop.
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    I got a job landscaping.
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    I got a job at UW, and I
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    finally got my ID with the help of
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    the monastery.
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    And I had a wrist, so I could
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    get a job.
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    So I got every job I could find,
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    and I worked so hard.
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    And in three months, we were ready to
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    move out and move into another place.
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    And Beth Johansson helped too.
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    She rented us her place.
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    And Rinpoche said to me, he was like,
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    wow, you're fast.
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    I guess most people that come to the
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    monastery in my situation stay for much longer
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    before they get their feet on the ground.
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    So anyway, so that's, and after that, it
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    wasn't just that, Rinpoche's kindness and his generosity,
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    it was also, some of the miracle things
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    he did during that time to remove my
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    obstacles are what really cemented my faith and
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    devotion in Rinpoche and in Buddhism.
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    One of the things was, we had this
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    whole, for years, we had been on the
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    street.
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    And so you always have encounters with police
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    when you're on the street, and you get
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    really scared and you get paranoid.
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    And then I think you just start attracting
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    it to you somehow, or maybe it's just
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    that you notice it, because you're hypervigilant.
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    So then you just notice police everywhere.
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    But they also give you some trouble, you
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    know?
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    And so I said to Rinpoche, I said,
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    Rinpoche, I have a disease.
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    And he said, what is it?
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    And I said, police.
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    And he just did that thing where he
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    was like, uh-huh.
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    Like he acknowledged it.
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    From that day forth, never noticed the police,
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    had never had an encounter with the police.
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    It was like that problem was completely gone
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    from my mind stream.
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    So that was one of the things.
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    And then, what was the other thing?
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    Oh, I was trying to get a job
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    at the Tibetan Nuns Project.
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    And at that point, I was just so
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    frazzled.
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    And stressed.
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    And so I was going over my resume,
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    I was in the cultural hall, I was
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    going over my resume, and I just broke
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    down into tears.
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    And I was just like, Rinpoche, I can't,
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    I don't know what is wrong with me,
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    but I just cannot seem to keep a
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    job or a house.
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    And I'm just so worried that I won't
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    get a job.
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    And he just said, I'll help.
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    You know how you get those, like whenever
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    Rinpoche has those pearls of wisdom, or it
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    always comes in like one or two words.
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    So yeah, it's like he doesn't have to
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    say much.
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    But he said that, and then sure enough,
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    I got the job at the Tibetan Nuns
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    Project.
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    And from that day to this, I have
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    never had a problem with having a house
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    or a job.
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    I've had my job since 2006, and I've
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    had my house, which I was able to
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    buy, since 2008.
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    So, you know, it's not like a, it's
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    not like you think of like a real
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    miracle, you know, like when Rinpoche tied that
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    sword in a knot, you know, it's not
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    something spectacular like that.
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    But when you think about it, it's like,
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    that was a miracle.
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    He did something phenomenal.
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    Or at least, at least I feel that
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    way about it.
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    .
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    And one time he demonstrated his clairvoyance at
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    that time while I was living at the
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    monastery.
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    So it was Saturday and we were cleaning
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    and I just was so excited to be
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    there when Rinpoche was there and to be
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    serving him and, you know, just being at
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    the monastery around him and I was so
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    excited to see him.
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    It was early in the morning.
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    I hadn't had breakfast yet and I was
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    really hungry but I didn't care because I
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    wanted to be near Rinpoche.
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    So I came downstairs and when I got
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    to the bottom of the stairs and I
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    was like kind of like a little puppy
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    running around his feet and he said, go
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    get breakfast and then you can come help.
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    And then I told you the story about
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    the door closing on me, right?
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    Should I tell that again?
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    Yeah.
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    Okay.
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    All right, so this was a few years
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    later and I had just learned about the
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    Nyunne practice and I think maybe I had
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    done a Nyunne retreat with Dagmola or something
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    and she had taught about Gilongmo Palmo and
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    I was just so excited about this practice
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    and I just, I really wanted to do
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    it and I was like, okay, maybe I
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    can do it this weekend.
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    You know, I like, I couldn't wait.
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    I wanted to be just like Gilongmo Palmo,
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    right?
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    And so after Chenrezig one day, Rinpoche was
  • 18:58 - 18:59
    sitting in his office and I think maybe
  • 18:59 - 19:02
    he was talking to Adrian and they were
  • 19:02 - 19:06
    probably talking about something pretty important and but
  • 19:06 - 19:08
    he had his door open and so I
  • 19:08 - 19:11
    was just standing there outside, outside his door
  • 19:11 - 19:14
    like, Rinpoche, Rinpoche, I need to talk to
  • 19:14 - 19:15
    you, I need to talk to you.
  • 19:15 - 19:17
    I gotta take this Nyunne vow, I gotta
  • 19:17 - 19:20
    take it, I just gotta and you know,
  • 19:20 - 19:22
    I wasn't saying that but that was the
  • 19:22 - 19:28
    vibe I was putting out and so, you
  • 19:28 - 19:31
    know, just hovering around the door waiting for
  • 19:31 - 19:33
    him to be done with Adrian and then
  • 19:33 - 19:40
    very slowly, the door just starts to shut
  • 19:43 - 19:44
    and Rinpoche didn't move.
  • 19:44 - 19:46
    Nobody was closing the door.
  • 19:46 - 19:48
    Rinpoche and Adrian were still sitting there but
  • 19:48 - 19:52
    very slowly the door just started to close
  • 19:52 - 19:55
    and then it closed and latched.
  • 19:57 - 20:00
    And that was it and I was like,
  • 20:00 - 20:03
    okay, all right, Rinpoche wants me to chill
  • 20:03 - 20:03
    out.
  • 20:04 - 20:05
    Okay, I get it.
  • 20:31 - 20:31
    .
  • 20:31 - 20:33
    No, the, well maybe it was a library
  • 20:33 - 20:36
    but it was, it was the Dharma, was
  • 20:36 - 20:37
    it the Dharma Shop?
  • 20:37 - 20:38
    No, it's the Dharma Shop now.
  • 20:39 - 20:39
    It was his office.
  • 20:40 - 20:42
    Yeah, and then his office moved upstairs.
  • 21:03 - 21:05
    Was the Reliquary one of his?
  • 21:06 - 21:08
    There were two Reliquaries, right?
  • 21:09 - 21:12
    One was the Dharma Shop which was, had
  • 21:12 - 21:16
    the, you know, where Mary used to, that
  • 21:16 - 21:19
    little tiny, no, that's not a Reliquary, sorry.
  • 21:20 - 21:21
    It's another R word.
  • 21:24 - 21:24
    Repository.
  • 21:36 - 21:37
    That was his office, yeah.
  • 21:41 - 21:44
    office like way upstairs and that was later,
  • 21:47 - 21:49
    I thought that was his private meditation room.
  • 21:59 - 22:00
    Okay, so.
  • 22:01 - 22:01
    .
  • 22:01 - 22:04
    Yeah, the one where he had the opium
  • 22:04 - 22:05
    pipe.
  • 22:06 - 22:07
    Opium pipe, pipe?
  • 22:08 - 22:09
    Yeah, he had an opium pipe up there.
  • 22:13 - 22:15
    I don't know if he used it or
  • 22:15 - 22:20
    not but yeah, Dagmola donated to the auction
  • 22:20 - 22:21
    a couple years ago.
  • 22:23 - 22:26
    I think he just kind of liked it
  • 22:26 - 22:29
    because it was like sterling silver, it was
  • 22:29 - 22:30
    a Chinese antique.
  • 22:43 - 22:46
    Yep, when it comes to Rinpoche, you have
  • 22:46 - 22:49
    to suspend all judgment.
  • 23:16 - 23:22
    Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so Tulku Ujin, he
  • 23:22 - 23:26
    was our second child, so Sonam was born
  • 23:26 - 23:31
    first and Rinpoche gave her her name when
  • 23:31 - 23:32
    I was still pregnant with her.
  • 23:35 - 23:40
    And Dagmola, Rinpoche told me that when I
  • 23:40 - 23:42
    was pregnant with Sonam, he said, you should
  • 23:42 - 23:46
    have Dagmola give you the lung for the
  • 23:46 - 23:51
    five dakinis, for the five guardian deities.
  • 23:53 - 23:56
    I know them as the five dakinis, but
  • 23:56 - 23:57
    I think they're also called the five guardian
  • 23:57 - 24:00
    deities that Avhikrita Rinpoche is giving an initiation
  • 24:00 - 24:03
    in July for that..
  • 24:06 - 24:08
    Yeah, so I got the lung and the
  • 24:08 - 24:11
    practice from Dagmola and then I practiced it
  • 24:11 - 24:13
    every day on the way to work, on
  • 24:13 - 24:13
    the bus.
  • 24:18 - 24:23
    And so yeah, and then Sonam was born
  • 24:23 - 24:28
    in 2008 and then, tukulu was actually a
  • 24:28 - 24:29
    mistake.
  • 24:31 - 24:34
    We were not planning that pregnancy.
  • 24:36 - 24:41
    And so, but anyway, he came along and
  • 24:41 - 24:42
    he was born in 2010.
  • 24:43 - 24:47
    He was actually born around Sakadawa time, 2010.
  • 24:48 - 24:51
    He was three weeks late, just like the
  • 24:51 - 24:51
    Buddha.
  • 24:52 - 24:53
    He was born after 10 months.
  • 24:55 - 24:58
    And in this country, you know, the healthcare
  • 24:58 - 25:02
    providers start freaking out after you're like overdue
  • 25:02 - 25:05
    by 10 days and they wanna like give
  • 25:05 - 25:06
    you a C-section and stuff.
  • 25:06 - 25:08
    And I was like, no way.
  • 25:08 - 25:10
    They, you know, I had Sonam in the
  • 25:10 - 25:13
    hospital and, you know, they forced the C
  • 25:13 - 25:13
    -section on me.
  • 25:14 - 25:15
    I didn't think I needed it.
  • 25:15 - 25:16
    It was awful.
  • 25:16 - 25:17
    And I was like, I'm not going through
  • 25:17 - 25:18
    that again.
  • 25:18 - 25:20
    I'm staying as far away from the hospital
  • 25:20 - 25:22
    as I possibly could get.
  • 25:22 - 25:26
    And so tukulu was born at home and
  • 25:26 - 25:27
    I had a midwife.
  • 25:29 - 25:32
    But before that, you know, when he was
  • 25:32 - 25:37
    late, like one week, two weeks, you know,
  • 25:37 - 25:40
    two and a half weeks, then we all
  • 25:40 - 25:42
    started getting a little concerned.
  • 25:43 - 25:46
    And so Rinpoche called me into the monastery
  • 25:46 - 25:50
    a couple of times and he didn't call
  • 25:50 - 25:50
    me in.
  • 25:50 - 25:53
    I think one time I, I think I
  • 25:53 - 25:56
    asked him for the blessing because, you know,
  • 25:56 - 25:57
    tukulu was so late.
  • 25:59 - 26:01
    So we did, so he, I thought he
  • 26:01 - 26:03
    was just gonna like put his hand on
  • 26:03 - 26:04
    my head and say a few mantras or
  • 26:04 - 26:08
    something, but he was like, okay, let's go
  • 26:08 - 26:08
    to the shrine room.
  • 26:09 - 26:10
    And then he called all the monks.
  • 26:10 - 26:12
    And we stood there in front of the
  • 26:12 - 26:15
    shrine with all the monks and he did
  • 26:15 - 26:19
    the, I think he did the praises of
  • 26:19 - 26:21
    the Buddha or some standard prayer.
  • 26:24 - 26:29
    And so then, then tukulu came along, let's
  • 26:29 - 26:29
    see.
  • 26:31 - 26:35
    He came along after three weeks from my
  • 26:35 - 26:35
    due date.
  • 26:36 - 26:37
    So he was three weeks late.
  • 26:37 - 26:45
    Finally, and I had a birthing pool, you
  • 26:45 - 26:48
    know, those inflatable swimming pools, I thought a
  • 26:48 - 26:49
    birthing tub or something.
  • 26:49 - 26:50
    So I had one of those in my
  • 26:50 - 26:54
    living room and I had a midwife and
  • 26:54 - 26:56
    actually, the midwife, it was her birthday and
  • 26:56 - 26:58
    so she was out like celebrating her birthday,
  • 26:59 - 27:00
    you know, at some spa.
  • 27:01 - 27:05
    And so I had a doula, thank God,
  • 27:05 - 27:08
    because the midwife didn't even show up.
  • 27:12 - 27:16
    And yeah, so anyway, but I guess, you
  • 27:16 - 27:19
    know, it really was not a terrible labor.
  • 27:19 - 27:20
    It was, you know.
  • 27:23 - 27:24
    I had a doula.
  • 27:27 - 27:29
    A doula is like a, kind of like
  • 27:29 - 27:32
    a, she's kind of like a midwife, but
  • 27:32 - 27:35
    she's not, she doesn't have a medical qualification,
  • 27:36 - 27:38
    so she's more like a birthing coach.
  • 27:40 - 27:42
    And Tsering was so freaked out by the
  • 27:42 - 27:44
    whole thing that he spent most of the
  • 27:44 - 27:47
    time in the kitchen and cooking.
  • 27:48 - 27:53
    And the doula was there for me in
  • 27:53 - 27:56
    the birthing tub and I kept telling Tukula,
  • 27:56 - 27:58
    it's okay, you can come out, you know,
  • 27:58 - 28:00
    there's water, you're gonna be born in a
  • 28:00 - 28:01
    swimming pool.
  • 28:01 - 28:04
    And I kept talking to him, like trying
  • 28:04 - 28:06
    to coax him to come out.
  • 28:08 - 28:11
    And yeah, so I had no medicine or
  • 28:11 - 28:11
    anything.
  • 28:12 - 28:15
    And it was really hard for, I'd say
  • 28:15 - 28:16
    like an hour and a half.
  • 28:17 - 28:19
    It was really hard, but then all of
  • 28:19 - 28:25
    a sudden my water broke and within 20
  • 28:25 - 28:26
    minutes he was born.
  • 28:27 - 28:31
    And so, yeah, I barely pushed at all.
  • 28:31 - 28:33
    I mean, I hardly had to push at
  • 28:33 - 28:33
    all.
  • 28:35 - 28:37
    So yeah, so I spent 20 minutes pushing.
  • 28:38 - 28:43
    And then the midwife sent her assistant ahead
  • 28:43 - 28:44
    of her because she wasn't gonna make it
  • 28:44 - 28:45
    in time.
  • 28:46 - 28:48
    And thank God that the assistant got there.
  • 28:48 - 28:49
    She got there just in time to catch
  • 28:49 - 28:50
    him.
  • 28:52 - 28:54
    And yeah, so he was born in a
  • 28:54 - 28:57
    pool of water, a nice warm bath.
  • 28:57 - 29:01
    And when he came out, he had these
  • 29:01 - 29:04
    lines on his face, you know, like l
  • 29:04 - 29:06
    Guru Rinpoche., it was like that.
  • 29:06 - 29:11
    He had those lines on his face and
  • 29:11 - 29:13
    Sering immediately called Rimpochet.
  • 29:14 - 29:16
    And like the minute he was in my
  • 29:16 - 29:19
    arms, you know, Sering was on the phone
  • 29:19 - 29:20
    with Rimpochet and he said, Rimpochet, please can
  • 29:20 - 29:22
    you give the baby a name?
  • 29:22 - 29:26
    And he said, Ugin, right away, no hesitation.
  • 29:30 - 29:37
    And then Lama Chimla told me, because, you
  • 29:37 - 29:39
    know, she was with Rimpochet, they were all
  • 29:39 - 29:40
    playing Mahjong.
  • 29:40 - 29:44
    And so she said, yeah, so he said
  • 29:44 - 29:45
    Ugin right away.
  • 29:45 - 29:47
    And she thought that was significant.
  • 29:47 - 29:49
    And she said, and then he hesitated for
  • 29:49 - 29:51
    a minute to think about the second name.
  • 29:51 - 29:52
    And then he said, Kyap.
  • 29:54 - 29:58
    Which is kind of interesting because neither of
  • 29:58 - 29:59
    those names are in Rimpochet's name 3!:36 go to 51:44
Title:
Laura 20250613
Video Language:
English
Duration:
51:44

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