Laura 20250613

[David] All right.

So, yeah, I'm kind of curious.

I mean, always something that...

Can you tell me a little bit about
how you first met Dachen Rinpoche?

I don't remember that part.

[Laura] I may not have told you.

I don't tell a lot of people.

[David] Oh.

[Laura] Who are you gonna
be sharing this with?

[David] Sorry?

[Laura] Is anyone gonna
see this recording?

[David] Julie Hamilton is just
doing the transcription with me.

I mean, if you don't wanna say,
that's fine.

I mean, you have...

[Laura] No, no, that's okay.

It's gonna be a transcription
rather than a recording.

Okay.

Yeah, so, well, you know about my stint

living on the street, right?

[David] Only briefly.

Yeah, I've seen it.

Yeah, briefly.

[Laura] Yeah, because you were there
when I first got to the monastery.

[David] Right, right.

[Laura] And so...

I had met Dagmola in the 90's.

I think in 94 when I first
came here from Australia.

Mm-hmm.

And Dagmola, my family friend
was also Dagmola's friend.

Her name was Edna Dropnack.

And she was a Christian, but
she was a very kind woman.

And when she saw the articles
in the newspaper

about the Sakya family arriving in the US

and they're the first Tibetan family

and there were the pictures of Dagmola
looking at an oven with amazement

and things like that.

She had been sponsoring
some Nepalese pilots,

and they lived at her house
and she cooked for them and stuff

While they were doing
some training here

and they had a connection
to Dagmola.

And so, Edna just felt so bad for Damala because here she was a

refugee, she had five sons, it just, the

whole thing was, she just had a lot

of compassion for her and felt for her

as a mother.

And so she offered to babysit the dongsays,

and they would go over to her house

and play ping pong in her basement.

And I also played ping pong in her

basement.

I came along about a decade after them.

And then she would also clean Damala's house

for Losar because she knew that was important

to her.

And so they developed this really deep friendship

from early on.

And so when I first came to the

U.S. from Australia, where I had been

living and working, Edna introduced me, she took

me to the monastery and introduced me to

Damala.

And I got Damala's book, but I didn't

read it for about, I didn't read it

for another few years.

And then I finally did read her book,

I think like in 1999 or something, and

I was so inspired by it.

But at that time, I was going through

some transition, and it was with my partner

at the time, who was Glenn, who was

famous, not in a good way.

But Glenn was a black belt in martial

arts.

He had a black belt in Aikido and

a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu.

And he had won some international competitions and

stuff.

And so he wanted to go down to

LA to study Jiu-Jitsu and to compete.

And at the time he had a Jiu

-Jitsu school in Seattle.

So we sold the school and we moved

to LA, and then things just did not

go right for us when we got to

LA.

And he couldn't get a job, I couldn't

get a job, we ran out of money.

Okay, so the long and short of it

is that we kind of, we ran out

of money, and then we decided that we

didn't want to be work, be slave labor

just to pay taxes and insurance and work

our butts off for nothing.

So then we decided, well, why don't we

just drop off the grid?

So, and this was right after 9-1

-1.

And we were living in a cabin at

the top of Cougar Mountain that didn't have

electricity or running water or anything.

But then we had to leave there, so

we moved into our truck.

We had a Ford Ranger, and we put

the tarp from the Jiu-Jitsu school, we

had this tarp over the mats in the

Jiu-Jitsu school, and we put it over

the back of the truck with some bamboo

to support it.

And that became our home for the next

three years.

And so luckily, I didn't have any worries

about safety because Glenn was a martial artist.

And so it was easy, and I had

a dog, so I never worried about safety,

and I was lucky.

But my real motivation for doing this was

I thought that if I didn't have to

work, and I had no schedule, and didn't

have to be anywhere, then I could just

meditate all day, right?

And I would get enlightened, right?

Okay, yeah.

Okay, well, I found out the hard way

because, you know, I realized that when you're

uncomfortable and you're scared and you're cold and

you're hungry, that you really can't meditate.

So anyway, I've been to the monastery a

few times, handful of times, in the 90s,

and I really connected to the place.

It just felt so right to be there,

but I had no idea what was going

on with the practices.

It's like they were in Tibetan, didn't understand

it.

So I didn't go back consistently.

But then Glenn and I got in a

lot of trouble.

We had decided that we were going to

drive a car across the country with no

money, and we wanted to see if we

can do it.

And so it was kind of an adventure,

and also I wanted to document the status

of the Fourth Amendment, at that time, George

Bush was in power, and I could see

that our rights were getting stripped away, even

back then.

I could see that what is happening now

was coming.

And so I wanted to document what law

enforcement was doing, and the only way I

could do that is by putting myself in

that position of being homeless.

So off we went with our truck and

$80 and my video camera, and thank God

for that video camera, because I don't know

what would have happened to me if I

wasn't filming all of this.

So we went across the country.

We got there, we did get there, and

then came back.

But by the time we came back, we

were so traumatized and paranoid.

We were like, okay, where are we going

to be safe?

We couldn't get back into society because when

you don't have an ID and you don't

have a home, you don't have a residence,

it's like you can't get a job.

You can't get a house, you can't get

a job.

So, and our families weren't helping us at

that time because they thought we were nuts,

and we were, kinda.

And so then we were like, where are

we going to be safe?

So we were like, okay, let's go to

Canada.

Okay.

Wrong decision.

Very, very bad decision.

There are like no handouts in Canada.

And people hate Americans, and they especially hate

homeless Americans.

And I didn't know there were rednecks in

Canada.

Really?

Yeah, in like the Kamloops area.

Oh, that part, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, we ended up, they ended up,

we were in the woods, and we had

built a campfire, and they ended up towing

our truck.

And then, and then this posse, this posse

of, I don't know what they were, I

don't know if they were vigilantes, or police,

or whatever they were, this posse of people

who all we saw were the flashlights coming

through the dark.

And we were like, oh shit, we gotta

go.

So we started running through the snow.

It's kind of like, you know, a foot

of snow.

And we ran for two miles.

And we lost them.

Wow.

I mean, they were on foot too.

I don't think they had snowmobiles.

So they were on foot too.

They must have decided we weren't worth it.

And so we ran for two miles, and

finally came to a highway, and then walked

to the nearest gas station, and called Glenn's

best friend, who was a lawyer.

And he sent us money, and we went

and had a marvelous night in the hotel.

And then the next day, I was like,

I am going back to Seattle.

I am going to Sakya Monastery.

I am parking my truck outside the monastery,

and I am not leaving until someone helps

me.

And so we did that.

And so it was a Saturday, and I

was in the monastery cleaning, and I had

taken to the kitchen floor with a toothbrush.

And I was trying to scrub all the

dirt out of the cracks on the floor.

You know how there's like dirt in the

kitchen?

Anyway, I was trying to get that out.

And Dachen Rinpoche came in, and he said,

come here, I want to talk to you.

And so we go into his office, and

we sit down.

And he says, so I want to help

you.

And he said, you can live here.

We have a room, but it's just you.

We can't have Glenn or your dog here.

But I think it was Elizabeth Stanton and

some other people, they're going to help you

get a job.

So we did that.

So I lived in the monastery for three

months.

But I felt like I had to work

really quickly to get Glenn and the dog

out of that situation.

So I got a job at a coffee

shop.

I got a job landscaping.

I got a job at UW, and I

finally got my ID with the help of

the monastery.

And I had a wrist, so I could

get a job.

So I got every job I could find,

and I worked so hard.

And in three months, we were ready to

move out and move into another place.

And Beth Johansson helped too.

She rented us her place.

And Rinpoche said to me, he was like,

wow, you're fast.

I guess most people that come to the

monastery in my situation stay for much longer

before they get their feet on the ground.

So anyway, so that's, and after that, it

wasn't just that, Rinpoche's kindness and his generosity,

it was also, some of the miracle things

he did during that time to remove my

obstacles are what really cemented my faith and

devotion in Rinpoche and in Buddhism.

One of the things was, we had this

whole, for years, we had been on the

street.

And so you always have encounters with police

when you're on the street, and you get

really scared and you get paranoid.

And then I think you just start attracting

it to you somehow, or maybe it's just

that you notice it, because you're hypervigilant.

So then you just notice police everywhere.

But they also give you some trouble, you

know?

And so I said to Rinpoche, I said,

Rinpoche, I have a disease.

And he said, what is it?

And I said, police.

And he just did that thing where he

was like, uh-huh.

Like he acknowledged it.

From that day forth, never noticed the police,

had never had an encounter with the police.

It was like that problem was completely gone

from my mind stream.

Wow.

So that was one of the things.

And then, what was the other thing?

Oh, I was trying to get a job

at the Tibetan Nuns Project.

And at that point, I was just so

frazzled.

And stressed.

And so I was going over my resume,

I was in the cultural hall, I was

going over my resume, and I just broke

down into tears.

And I was just like, Rinpoche, I can't,

I don't know what is wrong with me,

but I just cannot seem to keep a

job or a house.

And I'm just so worried that I won't

get a job.

And he just said, I'll help.

You know how you get those, like whenever

Rinpoche has those pearls of wisdom, or it

always comes in like one or two words.

Yeah.

So yeah, it's like he doesn't have to

say much.

But he said that, and then sure enough,

I got the job at the Tibetan Nuns

Project.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

And from that day to this, I have

never had a problem with having a house

or a job.

I've had my job since 2006, and I've

had my house, which I was able to

buy, since 2008.

Wow.

Yep.

So, you know, it's not like a, it's

not like you think of like a real

miracle, you know, like when Rinpoche tied that

sword in a knot, you know, it's not

something spectacular like that.

But when you think about it, it's like,

that was a miracle.

He did something phenomenal.

Or at least, at least I feel that

way about it.

Huh.

That's interesting.

Well, yeah, I mean, I'm glad that you

kind of describe it this way.

It is, it is.

Yeah, it's not like in Hollywood style, right?

I mean, but it's very, you know, the

recipient and the giver, you know, they kind

of understand and, yeah, it just happened, right?

Yeah, yeah, I think, I think, yeah, I

think, I think, yeah, I read about this

in Lama Kansal's books.

Yeah, it's kind of, you know, some people

call that like the Mahamudra, you know, the

accomplishment of Mahamudra or something like that.

Yeah.

Wow, that's very cool.

That's very cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And one time he demonstrated his clairvoyance at

that time while I was living at the

monastery.

So it was Saturday and we were cleaning

and I just was so excited to be

there when Rinpoche was there and to be

serving him and, you know, just being at

the monastery around him and I was so

excited to see him.

It was early in the morning.

I hadn't had breakfast yet and I was

really hungry but I didn't care because I

wanted to be near Rinpoche.

So I came downstairs and when I got

to the bottom of the stairs and I

was like kind of like a little puppy

running around his feet and he said, go

get breakfast and then you can come help.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

And then I told you the story about

the door closing on me, right?

Yeah, do that again, please.

Should I tell that again?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, so this was a few years

later and I had just learned about the

Nyunne practice and I think maybe I had

done a Nyunne retreat with Damala or something

and she had taught about Gilongmo Palmo and

I was just so excited about this practice

and I just, I really wanted to do

it and I was like, okay, maybe I

can do it this weekend.

You know, I like, I couldn't wait.

I wanted to be just like Gilongmo Palmo,

right?

And so after Chenrezig one day, Rinpoche was

sitting in his office and I think maybe

he was talking to Adrian and they were

probably talking about something pretty important and but

he had his door open and so I

was just standing there outside, outside his door

like, Rinpoche, Rinpoche, I need to talk to

you, I need to talk to you.

I gotta take this Nyunne vow, I gotta

take it, I just gotta and you know,

I wasn't saying that but that was the

vibe I was putting out and so, you

know, just hovering around the door waiting for

him to be done with Adrian and then

very slowly, the door just starts to shut

and Rinpoche didn't move.

Nobody was closing the door.

Rinpoche and Adrian were still sitting there but

very slowly the door just started to close

and then it closed and latched.

Oh.

And that was it and I was like,

okay, all right, Rinpoche wants me to chill

out.

Okay, I get it.

So the door like that's like no wind,

no nothing, just kind of like the automatic

door kind of like.

No.

Oh wow.

Yeah.

That was the, you know, that's the former

library, right?

You're talking about the.

Exactly.

Yeah.

No, the, well maybe it was a library

but it was, it was the Dharma, was

it the Dharma Shop?

No, it's the Dharma Shop now.

No, not Dharma Shop now.

It was his office.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then his office moved upstairs.

Yeah, yeah, actually at that time, I mean

there's this, I don't know what you call

it.

The currently Dharma Shop and then he had

another office behind, this used to be the

shrine and then there's another office upstairs.

He had like three of, you can call

it, he had like three offices at that

time.

Was the Reliquary one of his?

There were two Reliquaries, right?

One was the Dharma Shop which was, had

the, you know, where Mary used to, that

little tiny, no, that's not a Reliquary, sorry.

It's another R word.

Repository.

Yes, behind the old shrine which is now

the Cultural Hall.

Right.

Yes, yes, there's that one.

Yeah, that was his, that was like a

secret office.

That was his office, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and then he had another office,

like the formal, like the more official formal

office like way upstairs and that was later,

I thought.

I thought that was his private meditation room.

Yeah, it was and then, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, they used, yeah, I call that

his office.

Like, it's all his offices.

Okay, so.

Yeah.

Yeah, the one where he had the opium

pipe.

Opium pipe, pipe?

Yeah, he had an opium pipe up there.

I didn't know that.

I don't know if he used it or

not but yeah, Damla donated to the auction

a couple years ago.

Oh.

I think he just kind of liked it

because it was like sterling silver, it was

a Chinese antique.

Oh, okay, huh, okay.

Okay, okay, okay, I don't know, I don't

know, I mean, yeah.

Yep, when it comes to Rinpoche, you have

to suspend all judgment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true, true, true, true,

true.

Yeah, tell me about the story about, well,

I know there are things that you don't

want to say but tell me, because you're

a mother of a zhugu and tell me

a little bit about all the relationship with

Rinpoche, with the zhugu and yourself.

That'd be interesting.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so Toku Ujin, he

was our second child, so Sonam was born

first and Rinpoche gave her her name when

I was still pregnant with her.

And Damla, Rinpoche told me that when I

was pregnant with Sonam, he said, you should

have Damla give you the lung for the

five dakinis, for the five guardian deities.

I know them as the five dakinis, but

I think they're also called the five guardian

deities that Abhikrita Rinpoche is giving an initiation

in July.

Yeah, so I got the lung and the

practice from Damla and then I practiced it

every day on the way to work, on

the bus.

And so yeah, and then Sonam was born

in 2008 and then, tukulu was actually a

mistake.

We were not planning that pregnancy.

And so, but anyway, he came along and

he was born in 2010.

He was actually born around Sakadawa time, 2010.

He was three weeks late, just like the

Buddha.

He was born after 10 months.

And in this country, you know, the healthcare

providers start freaking out after you're like overdue

by 10 days and they wanna like give

you a C-section and stuff.

And I was like, no way.

They, you know, I had Sonam in the

hospital and, you know, they forced the C

-section on me.

I didn't think I needed it.

It was awful.

And I was like, I'm not going through

that again.

I'm staying as far away from the hospital

as I possibly could get.

And so tukulu was born at home and

I had a midwife.

But before that, you know, when he was

late, like one week, two weeks, you know,

two and a half weeks, then we all

started getting a little concerned.

And so Rinpoche called me into the monastery

a couple of times and he didn't call

me in.

I think one time I, I think I

asked him for the blessing because, you know,

tukulu was so late.

So we did, so he, I thought he

was just gonna like put his hand on

my head and say a few mantras or

something, but he was like, okay, let's go

to the shrine room.

And then he called all the monks.

And we stood there in front of the

shrine with all the monks and he did

the, I think he did the praises of

the Buddha or some standard prayer.

And so then, then tukulu came along, let's

see.

He came along after three weeks from my

due date.

So he was three weeks late.

Finally, and I had a birthing pool, you

know, those inflatable swimming pools, I thought a

birthing tub or something.

So I had one of those in my

living room and I had a midwife and

actually, the midwife, it was her birthday and

so she was out like celebrating her birthday,

you know, at some spa.

And so I had a doula, thank God,

because the midwife didn't even show up.

And yeah, so anyway, but I guess, you

know, it really was not a terrible labor.

It was, you know.

So you did it all by yourself?

I had a doula.

What's a doula?

A doula is like a, kind of like

a, she's kind of like a midwife, but

she's not, she doesn't have a medical qualification,

so she's more like a birthing coach.

Okay.

And Tsering was so freaked out by the

whole thing that he spent most of the

time in the kitchen and cooking.

And the doula was there for me in

the birthing tub and I kept telling Tugla,

it's okay, you can come out, you know,

there's water, you're gonna be born in a

swimming pool.

And I kept talking to him, like trying

to coax him to come out.

And yeah, so I had no medicine or

anything.

And it was really hard for, I'd say

like an hour and a half.

It was really hard, but then all of

a sudden my water broke and within 20

minutes he was born.

And so, yeah, I barely pushed at all.

I mean, I hardly had to push at

all.

So yeah, so I spent 20 minutes pushing.

And then the midwife sent her assistant ahead

of her because she wasn't gonna make it

in time.

And thank God that the assistant got there.

She got there just in time to catch

him.

And yeah, so he was born in a

pool of water, a nice warm bath.

And when he came out, he had these

lines on his face, you know, like l

'oreal bichet, it was like that.

He had those lines on his face and

Sering immediately called Rimpochet.

And like the minute he was in my

arms, you know, Sering was on the phone

with Rimpochet and he said, Rimpochet, please can

you give the baby a name?

And he said, Ugin, right away, no hesitation.

And then Lama Chimla told me, because, you

know, she was with Rimpochet, they were all

playing Mahjong.

And so she said, yeah, so he said

Ugin right away.

And she thought that was significant.

And she said, and then he hesitated for

a minute to think about the second name.

And then he said, Kyap.

Which is kind of interesting because neither of

those names are in Rimpochet.