Your Own Heart is Becoming the Beloved.mp4

M: Om. Namaste, welcome everyone today.

Thank you.

Yes. A strong compulsion to stay in bed,
but something is bringing me here.

Who is it?
Who is it?

Why to come?
Very good.

Really? Okay.

Okay.

Good. Good.
Good. So...

You want to say something?
Okay.

Q1: Thank you.
You mentioned in a recent talk this

existential fear, you were speaking.

It came up as a subject.

And you mentioned that as long as this
fear is not overcome, or as long as it

lives inside, you can never wake up.

M: I said that?
Q1: [Laughs].

M: Come here.
I want to see...

Okay. All right.
So...

Q1: As soon as I just sit with this,
it's like, the doses of this fear is

Q1: getting...
M: It's not only because fear come,

but that it's given such importance.

Everything can come.
Nobody makes an agreement what things will

come. Anything can come.

So, I just felt somehow to say something more,
not just that, if fear comes,

'Whoa,' that's it.
But anything can come.

And they go also, unless you offer them
residence.

You understand?
How how would you offer residence to them?

And why?
Because you may not also have the feeling

that you are giving them any permission,
or accommodation, and yet they are there.

M: Could we look?
Q1: Yes, yes.

M: Okay, help me then.
Start out.

Q1: I can feel it now, also.
It's present, this thing.

And even though, like you say,
it passes, it feels like,

the root of it is not caught and it lives on.

M: Well, the whole point of these things
is not that only that they come and go.

That's a significant thing to take note of.

But they didn't come by accident.

And they are not noticed by accident.

They have a relationship with the person
you take yourself to be.

If you were only the person,
then you can say,

'Oh, I really...
Please help me to get, to beat this trickster,

this force, this demon,'
whichever you want to call it.

But you have an option,
or not?

Q1: It feels also like this is my option,
Father, to ask for your help in this.

M: Okay.
Okay.

To try only to ignore things,
we have tried it, no?

It doesn't, by itself, it's not enough.

It will come back.
Of course it will come.

And to fight it also doesn't get rid,
because some forces they increase with

resistance and with fight.

Q1: Yeah.

M: And should one succumb to just accepting
one is just a victim, and 'There's nothing

I can do,'
and... Why you smiling?

M: It's your favourite technique?
Group: [Laughter].

Q1: [Laughs].

M: Okay, thank you.

So you've been coming for some time—all
faces I think I've seen here before—what

have you made use of

from your time with me?
What have I shared with you that's of any

M: real value?
Q1: Father, it feels like...

M: Concerning this, in your case.

Q1: It feels like the habit to just use
the pointing in an intellectual way is

so strong, that...
And this is, in a way, somehow linked with...

M: Do we understand what is intellectual,
in this example?

No, it's a good one, because I agree also.

But let's take a look, not just using words,
but really, to really understand what you're

really saying.
You say for you, it is futile to have merely

intellectual understanding of something.

By itself, it is not enough.

And there are people who,
their inclination is strong in the intellect,

they can grasp things really well.

I met also one girl who,
she was medical student—and I've never

met anyone like her, or since even,
and that was many years ago—and she had

a big book like this of things to go through.

And she said she could read it like this...
Small print, technical things.

And I believed also, you know.
And so, the capacity of some people to

grasp things intellectually,
and that's also good, to have an understanding

intellectually.
But is it enough?

Is it enough, you see.

And if it's not enough,
why is it not enough?

Because the intellect can grasp things,
and can explain them also really well.

Why is it not enough?
And what is intellectual understanding?

What it mean?
Why we say either 'understanding',

or 'intellectual understanding'?
Why would you make a difference?

I don't feel I'll be here for very long,
so I want to use this time really well today.

You understand something,
maybe even people might praise you for

your understanding, and your grasp of quite
complex concepts.

But for this, is it enough?

For you, you say it is not enough.

Q1: It feels like I'm seeing how the
intellectual understanding comes purely

as a form of avoidance,
of what is actually just here.

Q1: And that whatever situations happen in life...
M: Do you feel that the intellectual one

knows this?

It's a fresh question.
Do you feel the one who is able to grasp

things, genuinely feel,
'It is done'?

Q1: It's like he knows he's a fraud, also,
at the same time.

M: Huh?
Q1: He knows he's a fraud, also.

M: He knows he's a fraud?
Q1: Yeah, yeah.

Or, thanks to you, it's being exposed
like this.

M: Okay.

Understanding is important.
Knowledge is important.

But knowledge or understanding by themself,
is insufficient to grasp this.

Because the power of personal identity,
is the most common and widely spread force

and power on this planet.

Everybody knows themselves,
'Yeah, I am George,'

'Hi, I'm John.'
'Yeah, I'm this...

I'm,' you know,
'one metre, 70 tall.

I'm, so many kilo,'
you know?

We can describe ourself in those kind of
terms. But at some point someone is going

to tell you,
'So what?'

So what.
Is this you?

Is this you?
And then we can strike it big,

'What do you mean by you?'
and blah blah blah, we can do.

We can continue even intellectualising there.

Q1: [Laughs].
M: But you say, it's not enough for you.

Okay, so I'm taking you very seriously, now.

Where do we go from here?
What you want?

Understanding which is grasped in the
intellect—which has its part to play,

of course—why it is not enough?

And when will you know something is enough?

If you're hungry, you eat,
and you think,

'Enough.'
Some people never know it's enough.

Group: [Laughter].
M: What would be enough?

You have already seen this thing,
that merely understanding something,

being able to talk about it,
you may help or impress some people.

And there can be a certain amount of
satisfaction with this, also.

But as a genuine, as you say,
seeker of truth, will they within themselves

know, or not?
Would you, within yourself,

know that something is not enough?

Q1: It feels like what you point to is enough,
Father. That when the guidance is genuinely

followed, that it can come to a place where
there is no need, no wanting to explain,

Q1: no...
M: Have you come to that place?

Are you a visitor there?
You live there?

You are there?

It's a big tourism there.

It seems.

We can now narrow down our looking to this
point, that the understanding is there,

but it seems not enough,
because it can appear that with such

understanding, it's clear:
answers can be given, responses can be given.

But sometimes some character of personhood
continue—selfishness, arrogance,

picking at people, criticising and this
kind of stuff—and you may be challenged

about it, and say,
'Yeah, nah, nah, nah.

That's just the mind.
It's nothing.

It's not what I am.

It's just my persona is like this,
but I am beyond all of this.'

Why would that not be acceptable?

Q1: It's just the defensiveness.

M: Hmmm?
Q1: It's just defending.

Q1: It's just defensiveness.
M: You answered before.

You say, you know this place.

Q1: Yeah.
M: Did you say, you are this place?

Q1: It feels like, that in those moments,
that there's a confirmation that this is

Q1: what I truly am.
M: So in moments it feels totally clear,

M: 'But this is it.'
Q1: It feels right now,

like there's so much going on in the body
that, and the tension is also there,

that I'm unable to confirm in this moment
that, that is what I truly am.

M: But I also, I came here today,
and feeling quite a bit dizzy,

and tired, and da, da, da.

And I could say,
'You know what?

This is not a good day to be here.'
Because my physical feeling,

and a bit of nausea, and tiredness, achy-ness,
it doesn't make a good day for satsang.

But I'm here.
You have to be in that place where it doesn't

matter, actually.
Of course, it could be that the body is

so sick, there is really not the ability
to stay.

That's okay.
There's a place for this also.

And so these things are tests, also.

Let's regard them as a test.
Not somebody's testing you.

No, actually, originally,
you forgot—you wanted the test.

You wanted to be tested.
And you forget, when it's here,

'Oh, no, I don't want it!'
No, you want to test, because you know

how important it is to be tested,
and also to taste the power of transcending,

and knowing that you have the power to
transcend these things.

Q1: Yeah.

M: What is the purpose, then,
of transcending those things,

whatever they may be?

What is the highest thing?
You've all done some work with self-inquiry,

and learning to look.
In the last, this most recent season,

the looking is really being put to you.

Is the finding stable?
Well, is the finding something that there

could be you,
'I found this, and this is stable,

but I am not.'
Can it be like that?

Group: No.
M: So how?

And of course, let's soften things up as
they should be:

the realisation of the Self does not require
that the sense of the person disappear.

Because we may look and see that,
that is perhaps part of the package of

the so-called existential fear—that something
is going to vanish.

The cost of freedom is the end of me.

You see?
'But I like me.

I've got good things about me.
Why should all go?'

No, but we can look.
I like this part...

Group: [Laughter].
M:...because there is something.

And it could be part of the root of the
resistance, because it's not understood.

That somehow the realisation of the Self
effectively, experientially,

is like being thrown into a black hole.

Because people say,
'But,' you know,

'that doesn't exist, and this doesn't exist.
There's no such thing as family,

there's no world, blah, blah, blah,'
and people,

'Ahhhhh!
Oh, but I should like it.

Because all the great ones did it.

So I'll take the risk.
I'll lose everything!

I give everything up!'
Is it like that?

I say, No, it's not like that at all.
Why such a big trickster,

to trick you, and then to plunge you into,
you know,

'black hole'
freedom?

Q1: [Laughs].
M: So it's good to talk about it.

That this thing of...

There's no world,
'Overcome all, the whole world...'

Then, I put it all in the capsule.

Put the whole world in capsule,
and that capsule is I-me,

my person—my person, and my person's world.

Because our person is talking about 'the
world', but it's a very subjective view.

And your world, when we shrink down,
look at the psychology of your world,

is different from maybe somebody else.
And so even a twin can have different feeling

about it.
So what is the real culprit in your world?

I don't know.
I want to keep it really simple.

I don't really want to comment about it,
but sufficient understanding that can be

reflected enough to say,
'Ah! But I am here.'

And we feel that you have to,
'you' have to die.

But I say, No, you have to find out who
you are!

Not you have to die.
'You have to die'

is to assume that you are the trouble...
Which it's true...

Group: [Laughter]
M: 'You'

in the personal, the personal construct,
or idea of yourself as a person,

as just merely person,
is insufficient, and there's no person

that's going to be really happy.

Periods of happiness, periods of sorrow,
periods of struggle.

And it's okay.
We'll go on.

No, we're not new to this thing.
It can go on.

But what do you want?
Why not with the rest of so many millions,

billions of people,
'We just deal with it.'

But you, you want to be free.
And the wanting to be free of,

is the grip of the psychological identity
which you call yourself now,

which also goes by the name of 'I',
takes the name of 'I'.

But give me something.
Give me something to hook into.

If you are really honest and urgent,
my hook will get somewhere.

Otherwise I say these things,
it's not really going in,

and then I'm just here talking and...

Q1: Now it feels like everything calmed down.

M: Do not settle for calm down.

'Calm down'
is calm down for now.

We're not looking for seasonal relief.

Don't be looking for some state.

Say now,
'Whoa! I'm so, feel so happy.

Oh!' It will pass.

You must be able to also look,
even this state, beautiful or ugly,

it's a state.
Whatever you perceive, through the mind

or the senses, is traffic.

It's sensations, thoughts,
mental states, emotional states,

psychological states—traffic.

Keep on.
Not just for you.

For who, not?
Everything coming and going.

And the show is for who?
Whose show is it?

It's for the feeling 'I', unquestioned.

This 'I', you know,
'Yes, but I don't like it.

And I'm making progress,
and I'm getting better.'

And can we look at this?

Somebody be honest with me so we can work
with something.

Because I'm not going to do this work for you.

With you, we do.
Give me something to get hook into.

What you want, now?
Where are you?

You must not take your eyes off the prize.

You want something?
Everything that you have wanted in your life,

and you have gotten, is not because somebody
else got it for you.

Even somebody may get it for you,
you won't appreciate it.

You want it, your urge,
desire brings it to you.

Even you are, whatever you're doing,
your mind is secretly, a part of it,

is on this thing you want.

M: And like this you will attain.
Q1: I just want to be what I am, Father,

without the links and ties to all this stuff,
everywhere.

M: What about, it starts with the links
still there?

Q1: Yes.
M: Suppose links are still there.

If you create a—what you may call now—a
condition,

'Now, nothing must be in this room.

Nothing.
It must be so clean,'

you set up a big obstacle.

No, why not everything?
Because when you're free,

it's still gonna, all things gonna,
can still be there.

You see?
All things are still going to be there.

But it will be different,
because you the person will become like

a mere shadow in it.

But you see, look:
I have come today for this!

Not come make today's lecture,
next lecture tomorrow.

Drop next.
I didn't come here with next.

Who is willing to meet now?

M: To see now.
Group: [hands go up]

M: Oooo!
Now. Nothing is going to happen tomorrow,

or yesterday.
It's only in your now.

That's what the purpose of this.

So then, you know, if you look there,
and you're looking bored and stuff,

I say, You're not my guy,
not today.

You must be hungry for what you want.

Then want to see what's in the way,
if what you say you want.

Can what you want be a commodity that you
receive?

In which shop you can go to get it?

It's not in any shop.
In which country is it,

where you're looking for it?
That we can 'Go-fund'

you, 'Go-fund'
me to go to this country,

'I'm looking for the Self.
It's in this country.

I don't have enough money.'
Where you will go?

Q1: I feel like there's a sense that I...
M: I feel you're not ready.

I feel you're not hungry.

You think you can have it casually.

It's not that it's,
'Oh, you must be intense!'

It's not this.
But the level where we are looking,

and looking, and...
Because you're looking is affecting me.

That's how we have a dialogue.

You see?
Your urge must stimulate me.

I can't be just doing something for you.

So this one I want to see.

We have done this.
It's done many times.

We're not going to talk about yesterday.

I want to talk about now.
What's in the way now?

Q1: How can I increase my urge, Father?
Because...

M: I can't answer that.
How do you increase your urge for anything?

Who's going to tell you how to increase
your urge?

It's there or not.
If it's not there, forget it!

Go have a ice cream.
How is going to tell you,

how to like ice cream?
You have to taste.

You taste, you will know.
'How can I...

How can I increase the urge to enjoy chocolate
ice cream?'

Not even Vasudeva can help you.

Group: [Laughter]
M: How you going to...?

Q1: [Laughs]
M: Okay.

Stay present, stay open.

Who is coming, something...
Okay. Who who...

I want to feel, feel you...
You? Okay.

Q2: I feel you sometimes say,
We don't know how honest,

or how open we are.
And I feel it...

M: Okay, you say,
'Sometimes we don't know how open we are.'

I'm a little bit with this.
But you're open enough to come here.

You know what shop this is?

Q2: Yes.
M: What shop is it?

Q2: The shop...
Empty shop.

M: Empty shop.

Group: [Laughter].
M: It's very smart.

Very good.
Okay.

Q2: Maybe.
M: Okay, so you come for some emptiness.

M: Okay.
Q2: I just feel it's easy to miss this one...

M: Empty shop, you cannot buy,
you can only be.

There's nothing to purchase.
It's good title.

'Come to empty shop.'
Thieves in a empty house.

I want to use it.
I want you to use this.

Why you use this example?

Empty, empty shop.

Q2: What I feel is I'm,
I cannot be, like, I cannot be 100 percent

sure if there is anything I'm not seeing.

M: Yes. I don't know if I've ever met anybody
100 percent sure of anything.

Except that you are.

Maybe this you can say you're sure of,
that you exist, and that you are experiencing

or perceiving.

You agree or not?
You know that you are.

Q2: Yes.
M: And that you are experiencing?

Q2: Yes.
M: So only this, we can look.

M: Let's work with this, then.
Q2: Yes.

M: Because everything else is traffic to this.

So everything comes, it's being perceived.

Q2: Yes.
M: Goes, is being perceived.

And why perceiving is here?
Because you are here.

You exist.
Now we must look.

Leave everything that can come and go,
leave all of that now.

Only you and perceiving.
And of you and perceiving,

which is most true, if one has to go?

Hmmm?

You say,
'I perceive,'

no? I perceive.

So, 'I perceive,'
means every experiencing,

whatever is happening, is perceived by
this sense of 'I'.

Q2: Yes.
M: So you could even say,

'I am not perceiving.'
Which means,

'I'm perceiving that I'm not perceiving.'
I'm going to keep it clean and simple.

So.

Speaker: Guruji, how bout that you're
perceiving emptiness?

Q2: Just when you say,
'What is more true?'

I don't remember exactly what you said, like,
'You are perceiving'?

M: You know that you exist.
Q2: Yes.

M: And that you are perceiving,
or experiencing your perceiving,

through the senses or the mind.
If some inner state, or outer states,

M: that's being perceived by you.
Q2: Yes.

M: So everything that comes,
can go—mental states, emotional states,

friends can come.
People live, people stay,

people die.
You feel sickness, you feel healthy,

you feel excitement, feel boredom,
feel tired, feel energy—all this you perceive,

and they come and go.
You who perceive them,

does that come and go?
Is it personal?

Also, personal states come.

Q2: Yes.
M: So, that's also amongst the field of

perceivable, isn't it?
So even those things, and the feeling of 'I',

and autobiography, your ideas about life,
all of those personal things,

they are also perceived.
Okay? And they can change shape,

and their change, they're also perceived.

So they cannot be that which perceives them.

Q2: No.
M: That's true?

Q2: Yes, that's true.
M: Okay.

That which is perceiving,
is it...

M: Material or immaterial?
Q2: No, it's not.

M: It's immaterial?
Q2: It's not material.

M: It's not material.

Q2: I cannot say what it is.
But I experience that...

M: Who is speaking now?

M: It's not a trick question.
Q2: I'm looking.

M: Obviously, the response is coming so
fluidly and so comfortably,

there's no strain to comment that,
all these things are being perceived,

and that whatever is perceiving,
itself cannot be perceived by quality.

Is it, male or female?

It's not.
Is it any of these things?

No. So, answers, responses are coming from
there.

So even the responses are coming,
and they are also perceived,

pouring out of some, whatever something,
or no thing.

Q2: Yeah.
I don't know if it's pouring out of something.

Q2: It's perceived.
M: Okay.

They're appearing, also.
So that which is perceiving them,

what is to be said of that?
Is it a structure, or no structure?

Q2: It's no structure.
M: Okay.

M: Is that significant for you?
Q2: It is.

It is significant.
It is.

M: Okay.
Where does the problem start,

if one start?

Is it a new skill that you developed?

And anyone can apply.
It's not particularly to you.

It's for anyone.
For everyone, there's a sense of 'I':

I am. But it's quickly given to the body and,
'I am this person.

I'm from Germany.
I'm from this place.

I'm a doctor.
I'm this and that and that,'

is acquired.

So it takes on the sense of being something
identifiable.

But from your place, that is also a construct
that is seen.

The 'I' that is seeing them,
is not those things.

You cannot say it's a doctor,
or a nurse, or it's 1.7 cm,

170 cm, you know?
He doesn't have any of those things.

What is it like unto itself?

If it doesn't connect with points of
perception, or things to perceive,

by itself...?

Q2: It's not bothered by anything.

M: Yes. Okay, bring the things back.

M: Is it bothered by them?
Q2: No. It is...

Q2: if identity is missed...
M: If identity...

Q2: Is not seen, like.

M: So, identity brings all the trouble, then?

Q2: Identifying brings all the trouble.

Q2: But for who?
M: Ahh. Are are you asking me?

Group: [Laughs].
M: You have to find out.

Right here is good.

Q2: The trouble cannot be for that which
is not touched by it.

M: Yes. Is 'that which is not touched by it'
an object of perception?

Q2: No.
M: Where is it?

Q2: It has no location.

M: It has no problem?
Q2: It has no problem.

M: Okay, let's go to where the problems are.

Why you trying to solve a thing that has
no problem?

Q2: 'Why try to solve a thing that has
no problem'?

M: Yes. It has no problem.

So where will we go now to find a problem?

And it is good.
It's fine!

We are looking, and it's good.
I don't want to feel,

'Ah! Yes, yes.
End of thing.

Okay, I go now,'
because problems begin somewhere,

and everyone is troubled by it.

Who is the everyone?
You must also find.

It appears that you are no one,
and you are someone.

In this receding you come,
'Ah, actually, I am here.

But I as what is here?'
Well, it's not, it's certainly not the person.

It's not a male or female,
or it's not Muslim or Christian.

It's something...
something/nothing about it.

M: Is it a valuable discovery?
Q2: Yes.

M: Yes, yes.
Okay. So that's not where problems are.

Q2: No.
M: Okay.

So where problems come,
is in the place of identity.

Q2: Yes.
M: Where I am someone.

Q2: Yes.

M: Is there a way that this sense of being
someone...

How does that look now,
from the place of your discovery that,

'Actually, fundamentally,
I am not any of these things that have

been spoken of,'?
How does the things, the world of things,

how do they, you know, what is their value?

Where do they...
They don't impact upon this,

but somehow this must be somehow the cause
of them playing.

And here the sense 'I'
is also there, and a very familiar feeling

of 'I'. But is it stable?

It's always constant, this 'I',
this now, the second 'I'?

Q2: The moving 'I'
is not constant.

M: Yes. So is it not the moving 'I'

M: who came to satsang?
Q2: Yes.

M: Yes.

Because what?
It cannot control its world.

Q2: And its good it cannot,
because it wouldn't, it wouldn't,

it wouldn't find out what it really is
if it could control anything.

Like if there wouldn't be this trouble
and this pain in this identifying,

Q2: there would be no urge to—
M: So it must have an urge.

It must have a drive.
What is the drive of this 'I'

which is the I-person?

Because all the human beings.

We have this mask or sickness of I-me, I-me.

What is the I-me really in search of?

Everybody can take this.

The I-me, is it quiet and content and
happily I-me?

No. So what it wants?

Speaker1: To be free of suffering.
M: Ah?

Speaker1: To be free of suffering.
M: To be free of suffering.

Only you?
Only you?

Okay. Okay.
To be free of suffering.

M: What is it suffering from?
Group: It's projection.

M: It's projection, it's projection.

Da da da.
We're in common ground now.

It's having some suffering.

Q2: But I'm not sure that this 'I',
like this identified one wants to be at

Q2: peace and...
M: Wants to be?

Q2: At peace.
M: It doesn't want to be at peace.

Q2: I'm not sure about that, because-
M: You speaking now are not that.

M: Is that what you're saying?
Q2: Not being?

M: Not the person.
You're not sure of that person.

The person-self is really da da da da da.

Who is speaking now?
Just to be clear and look.

You're looking from where?
From an identified place or a not identified

place? There is a feeling 'I am'.

I call it consciousness.
That 'I Am'-ness without strong identification

with the personal sense that is the...
Let me call it, I'm going to call it the

Brahman for the moment, okay?
But only because I can I have another word

called Parabrahman.
Would you understand?

Okay. All right.
So it is the consciousness.

It is the guru state of being,
which is all for everybody,

is there.
It is that in which the world of person

and its world and all of this is seen
from here, but is not disturbed by that.

And from this place 'I Am'
has the power by looking into the realm

of the I-me and the I-person,
impart some grace to it.

Because in the form of the I-person -
are we following is good?

In the form of the I-person,
it is still consciousness,

it's a mode of consciousness.
And that sense of being,

if you want to call it a soul—
we are right for the moment?

Just working words -
the soul, it has different characteristics.

In India they speak of the different gunas,
which are kind of energetic qualities that

affect the soul;
some soul tendency.

Q2: Sorry, but the soul you call the person
now, or what?

M: Yes. Let's, let me just continue and
then you'll see.

So then this the sense of being somebody,
an entity with the characteristic,

with a history, with association with parents,
with family, with all of these things;

self description that makes you uniquely you,
at least for the time being.

Because also you keep changing what you
say about yourself.

If you could keep on writing an autobiography
for a period of 20 years,

it's going to keep changing.
So the person is not stable,

whereas the 'I Am', which generates the
projection of the mind and person...

I'm going to call person and mind similar
for the moment..

If you want me to cover because it's good
if you understand this thing,

then it becomes more clear, no?
So the personal state of consciousness

is where all the conflicts can come.

Desire can come.
Pain. Life.

Death. You.
Me. This.

That. Up, down.
Heaven, hell.

All these things is in there for the person.

It's never a stable environment and even
unto itself, with nothing to interfere,

it interferes with itself.

It also suffers from its own,
'I'm lonely.

I don't know what I'm going to do.'
So it's never without trouble.

Okay? But as it's also on a journey of—this
world as we know it, each one is on a journey

of self-discovery.
It may not be conscious of it like that.

For a while our urge for discovering things
can be merely phenomenal.

Like, I want to be a lawyer.
I want to be a doctor.

I want to be famous.
I want to be a singer.

I want to be something.
And all this produces fruit,

is a power.
It produces fruit.

And you may indeed become famous.
You may indeed become rich and all this

kind of things.
But we are discovering even those who have

gone before become very rich,
at some point they are not satisfied with

rich because the whole system is built
like that.

You can never be really satisfied,
really genuinely satisfied until you're home.

And 'home'
means to awake to your true nature,

which is not somewhere else.
Not over there.

It's like peeling away, no?

So my way of looking at it is that the
person is the one who takes the journey

of life.
And I would not say because,

you know, in Advaita thought,
the person doesn't think and the mind doesn't

exist, the world doesn't exist,
and so on.

And ultimately it is true.

But you must understand in what light it
is true.

Because when you say to beings who have
strong idea of self and who have a philosophy,

have relief, have belief,
all these things,

'That it's not true.
It doesn't exist'.

You know, it's very hurtful.
You don't know,

'Whoa, whoa, wait.
What are you saying?'

And some can adopt that thing and indeed
learn and take that attitude.

But inside it's not true.

Something has to be clear.
So the sense of being someone,

it is consciousness.

When you say 'I', when you feel 'I',
because nobody gave you 'I'.

Everything else you receive.
Nobody, not your parents didn't say,

'I'm going to name you "I"'.
And yet all the beings have this intuitive

self-reference of 'I'.
Not the English version.

So even mosquitoes have a feeling of 'I'.

'I' points to existence,
'I exist', that's what it really mean.

But I-person very rarely touch on this
root that it means existence and that it

is conscious.
It doesn't even know that it cannot die

as consciousness.
Consciousness cannot die.

But its belief 'I am the body'
can die, but doesn't mean it dies.

The body will die.
But what you are cannot die.

It will just transfer for more experiencing
if there's more things to experience.

So this urge inside with different beings
and different bodies, let's put it like that:

identities in different bodies,
are on a journey depending upon your maturity.

Some people only want to be famous or 'I
want to have five children.

I want to live in a beautiful house.
I want to be able to have enough money

to do what I want.'
Those desires are permitted by Parabrahman,

by Paramatman;
that life gives the life in this.

All desires can be had,
good and bad.

And it will help you to fulfil your desires.

Even if you are a thief and you want you
to be a better thief.

It will give you power.
Learn to be a better thief!

Because God has a use for you as a great
thief, because he is going to perfect the

other ones, who may be somewhere more evolved,
with your thievery!

You're going to hurt them...
They need this thievery to move on even more.

The whole thing is beautifully managed.

By Paramatman is taking care of all things.

Not one thing go missing.
Not only for human beings,

the ant kingdom, the bee kingdom,
the horse and the this and every kingdom:

He's the God of all of them.
They have their rules.

They have their philosophies.
They have their ways.

They have their likes and dislikes.

They have their urges.
They have their suffering.

Everything is somehow evolving somehow.

Let's stick to our world for a little bit.

Okay. So in our world, this urge is there
and for a while depending upon,

because not all the beings are at the same
level of maturity.

And He made it like that.
He didn't say, All of you who are mature

like that, you will go to here and all
of you mature...No, He mixes up and we fight.

But we need it also, you see.

So I'm saying this so that you don't complain
about your life.

Everything that's sent to you,
if you take it only as,

'But this thing has happened to me.
And I didn't do anything about it.'

Actually, you earned it.

And you have to make use of the experience
of it to transcend in yourself.

That you transcend in yourself,
your light becomes light for others, also.

But don't think like that:
'I and my light...'

You understand?
So, if you have this attitude, okay,

but somehow this is needed,
it's pointing out something.

Rather than 'Oh, they are attacking me...'
Because the self as a person is also very

myopic and very self protecting.

And that's why it doesn't grow so quick
because it feels vulnerable.

And when you're vulnerable it locks in
and 'pew pew pew'

[imitates shooting].
It locks in.

When you see these things you realise,
'Wait a second but a deeper consciousness...'

She just been speaking from this deeper
consciousness, in which the sense of the

person and its world are seen with more
detachment.

You say,
'But I speak with you,'

you say,
'but from here, I'm actually just fine.'

What do you want?
What do you need?

What is your problem?
'Actually here, nothing, actually.'

For problem, I have to go back over there.

And over there is in the state of the person
and my neighbours and my relationship and

the things, and I get enough money and
da da da da da.

This is the woes of the person.

They're here to make you grow,
to help you.

And when you see and you understand this
a little bit, you don't get angry.

You don't get,
'Oh, it's them is the cause.

They are the cause.'
But you use it.

But when you come here,
I want to fast forward!

Which you can, you can go,
tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Or you can somehow come into big seeing.

You can travel footsteps or you can travel
by galaxies.

So here if you—I feel and I assume,
you may correct me, that when you come

here there is within the capacity to flower
into higher states.

When you realise,
'Wait a second, I'm kind of wasting my

time in the person quite a lot.

Because now I'm aware of myself in
consciousness as consciousness.'

And what happens by that?
Well, as you learn to observe -

and this is what I've been showing -
learn to observe things more because you're

too identified.
If you identify, you slow down.

And what happens?
You start to accumulate concepts.

And the more concepts you accumulate,
the more opaque you become.

The more solid, the more rigid.

If you know people with they have a pile
of concepts.

And their concepts and your concepts can't
dance. You know, even family can be like this.

So what you will earn is by observing with
detachment, learning to look and see if

you can catch this seeing where even your
person, your person, the subject of all

of your world, is itself seen.

When you can see, you can say,
'Whoa'. It's not just a world,

but the personal self that has the reflection
of that world.

They are, when I say two sides of one coin,
they go together.

Your mistake has been you identifying yourself
and feeling,

' Yeah, but it's the world.
Everything is wrong there.

It's not me.'
And what makes you do that is because also

your person goes by the title of 'I'.

And 'I' means God.

You understand?
Your 'I'

is consciousness, which is a godly principle.

You see, then you understand this 'I',
the I-me and the I-I or the 'I Am'.

You see the difference.
When we go into I-me, all your life struggle

and this and can't get,
and this one is sick and da da da da da.

And it is strong, it is strong.

It didn't have its origin in one body
life-form.

We've been going on for a long time.
But gradually it's growing through what

I call the guna field.
Gunas means some energy which is;

Tamasic guna, mean that when the entity
of self is more resistant and more sort

of easily troubled and full of identity
and resistance, that's called tamasic

guna-Tama guna.
Then the energy, the entity energy can

also have more, something you can call
Raja guna.

Means that the soul is more energetic,
it's more full of desire.

It wants to do things adventurous.
It has many ideas and da da da.

And then also another guna called Sattva
guna. Sattva guna is more pure,

meaning when the energy field is more
attracted to spirit;

it wants to evolve in consciousness,
it wants to realise.

So these gunas are playing in,
within the beingness.

Some gunas has more ascendance,
more stronger in one.

Another, stronger in another one.
Like this.

So all of you, I say, You are,
must be exhibiting some stronger Sattva guna.

But you have—Raja guna is in there pulling
at your tail.

And sometimes Tamas guna,
'yeah...'

They can all.
It's all part of it.

It's a kind of fun way of looking, no?

It's not that funny, actually.
But we understand a little bit.

So somehow to come to satsang without anyone
pressuring you to do that means your soul

is attracted a bit towards it.

And the more you find out and not just
find out intellectually,

but begin to experience your understanding;
experiential understanding.

You're encouraged within yourself.

You're falling in love.
And if you fall in love with someone and

you're really falling in love deeply,
nobody you will require to remind you to

remember your beloved.
The urge comes from inside.

It's pulling, you know, always,
whatever you're doing, you're thinking.

So your own self, your own heart is becoming
the beloved of your sense of your person.

It's in the Sattva guna.

It's drawing more and more.
After Sattva guna what happen,

you see.
They call one state Turiya,

which means that becoming clean,
functioning more from consciousness.

The lower states don't trouble you.

They don't trouble.
Identity doesn't trouble you.

At some point it won't trouble you.
People call you,

'Oh, so you are Paulette?'
'Yes, yes.

My name.'
You still use the name.

When you wake up fully into yourself,
you will not have to change name.

You don't have to call yourself Parabrahman
or some wonderful name.

You can still use your name.
But you are not this name.

You see, it's like somehow something's
unfolding.

Concepts don't stick with you,
but you—the more they don't stick with you,

they're not so important.
Then all is available for you.

You can listen without having to decide
and know,

'I believe in this.
What do you believe?'

'Oh. What is your standpoint?'
No, it doesn't matter, actually,

because you're in the all-ness of your being.

Is it okay I'm talking,
we are talking like this?

Let's clear the field, okay.

We're sweeping the house so you understand.

When you say 'Yeah but these things,
I don't know why I keep getting these things.'

That relationship is building,
it's sticky.

So I don't say, Okay, I'll show you how
to solve that problem, that problem.

Say, No.
Learn something;

learn to observe your sense of identity
and its likes and dislikes.

But with some distance learned,
you can.

You can see.
And learn to detach.

And what did I say?
Should I say 99.9% of the things in the

world does not trouble you,
which means you can walk anywhere in the

world and things don't go [imitates sucking
noises].

No, you can move.
Natural detachment.

But the 0.1 of the things that matter.

'Oh, yeah.
But no, no.

Oh, I don't like pink.
Mmmm-mmm.

Not me. I don't like this.

Peacock feathers!
Oh, keep that away from me!'

And so all these kind of stuff,
they keep you tied up into the shape of

the person.
You may feel proud.

'I'm this kind of person.
I'm not that kind of person.'

And you don't realise how we cheat and
shrink from your beauty.

All of this is you.

You will never learn and really love everyone,
even those not yet born,

you love.
'Oh, no.

But I've never seen them.
Oh I didn't...'

No no, no.

Understand?
Because it's your nature.

It's not just your choice.
And so I say, What is the simple thing?

Learn to observe more and more with
detachment.

Learn to see the mind.

The maya-mind tell you 'No.
That's wasting time.

I don't get anything from doing that.

I just fall asleep whenever I do it.

I try to just look without the attachment,
I fall asleep.'

Even here, when we used to do the Just
Be exercise;

Ding dong, say, Okay, like this.
As if you [imitates falling asleep].

Just woke up!
What is this?

It is a kind of psychic resistance.

It's in us.
Something that is trying to resist from

coming into the fullness of yourself.
It's a force, this maya force.

It's a little resistance.
But don't be worried.

It soon change.
The minute you begin to feel the darshan

of your own heart [exhales]
so much encouragement.

But you must earn it.
And what teacher will do is teaching this

thing, but you have to be on board.

You have to be on board.
You have to be there.

Because even greatest guru cannot help
you if your heart's not on board.

You must work for it.
And look what it is, also;

it's very mystical but it's not difficult.

The path has been made so clean.

The higher you go, the purer the climate,
the simpler the advice,

if you can take, but the stronger the
resistance.

Because your earth self is fighting,
is lazy.

And, you know, it's like this.

You have to watch him.
You have to learn to observe this, okay?

And press on.
And what you have, you may say at some point,

'I have nothing to encourage me because
my mind is just killing me...'

And some people say,
'Yeah, but, but Guruji told you to do.'

'Yes, yes.
Yeah yeah I do.'

Why? Because you have faith and faith enough
to give you some strength,

some courage.
Then also life, the source,

empower you because you have chose;
when you choose.

You've chosen many things.
You can keep on choosing many things in life,

but you're choosing Supreme.

You're choosing God-consciousness.

You're choosing Self.

When I speak like this,
I get touched, you see?

If you choose this, then you have really
making use of this life-form.

Because you can choose many things and
they will delay you.

And it's okay.
You like this thing?

You like that?
It's okay.

It's freedom.
It's okay, it's okay.

But if you have in your heart this choice.

And then you have taken the highest choice,
and you'll be tested.

And you must pass this test.

And then all the grace of Parabrahman come
for you.

If you say,
' Yeah, but I went around the corner

and somebody went, boo!
And I don't want to go there.'

And then you come 'Guruji what is the
highest?'

I said, You didn't even pass the lowest.

Group: [Laughter]
M: You want the highest.

I said, Well, it's a little person come
and say,

'Yeah, look at you.
Oh, no. No.'

And you [imitates crying].
I said, Well it's small things.

How are you going to overcome?
By looking and learning to...

let the fear, don't try and stop the stop
the feelings.

Let them come.
Don't try and stop them.

What you need is not to stop them,
but to have clear seeing of them.

Just see that it's just the life force.

The force of habit is playing.

And this is its domain.

This is its sensory, sensors [indicates
the body].

It's playing in here, and the mind is playing.

And you say,
'But how I can see this?

How comes I'm seeing this?'
And gradually, gradually,

you stay in your satsang.
You listen and you start to find 'Whoa

where they didn't seem to be a way,
there is a way.'

And which way is it?
It's here, it's here, it's here [indicates

the heart].

So you just continue.

Don't try something, get a bit hurt,
go try something else, try something else,

try something else and try.
No, no. If you must have some faith.

You don't have faith, you can pray,
ask Baba.

'Oh, I, please, I, I want to believe,
I trust, but I'm weak.

Please help me.'
God help come.

Help come.
Be humble.

As you're growing, kindness is coming.

Kindness is coming.
Maybe you didn't realise how unkind our

behaviour is.
Selfishness is going.

Empathy is coming.

Spaciousness is coming.
Heaviness is leaving.

Unexpected boon and grace is flowing,
seemingly undeserved is coming.

And then things, that you feel 'But
how did this come?'

Coming. Then when you start to feel great,
something goes,

'Eh' [indicates unhappiness].
That is coming also.

Everything is coming.

You're going to give up?
Like this it comes.

I have tremendous...
I have in my heart, I found,

the love for all the beings is there.

I didn't work at it.
You just stay open.

You come to your natural,
your natural love, natural state is there.

But the service to sangha, who,
if I am right about it,

are those I perceive to be

on a higher journey of awakening.

And then this body, this life force dedicated
to that.

Dedicated to that.
You will have troubles.

But you will overcome them.

And the highest, clearest power in the
universe has called you

and supports your seeing.

Stop thinking of yourself as some petty
little thing.

But don't think of yourself as a great
thing also.

M: Yeah
Group: [Laughter].

M: And the one thing that will be repeated:
Don't give up.

Keep looking and clarify your misunderstanding
of you. Someone say,

'But I'm doing.
I'm doing like this.'

And say No, no, no.
That's what I show?

Come now.
You do look, da da da da, come.

Oh. Don't put this in your pocket.

Put it in your heart and stay with it
and increase in it.

And so your autobiography that you write
in your person, that will disappear.

Thank you.

What is happening also is that those,
I'm finding more the ones I don't-

I'm just-
I find them, we stay together,

we look and quickly from here,
not just go.

Go down.

You want to want to come in with me?
We go, down.

Stay. Right.
And all this mind stuff can start to just

dry up very naturally.
Just simple.

I told you from the beginning,
it is simple because you don't have to

create yourself.

You can create a false self,
but your true self, you can only discover.

When you discover it, the discoverer merges
in it also.