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(audience laughter)
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Spalding: Let's go get something to eat.
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The next day off there was no doubting
where we were going!
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(piano key plays)
down to Caron Beach it was fantastic.
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Ivan passed me a tie stick, I took a few
(inhales) tokes,
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I didn't care if my (?) got loose on the
beach and went wild!
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Even ran away and never
wanted to see it again.
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A little mild paranoia came over me.
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Where to hid my money this time.
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I began to dig holes in sand.
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Then I thought "no, under the rubber mat
in the truck!"
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Then I thought, "You know Spalding,
thinking this much about putting your-
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hiding your money is putting out waves
that ties can read.
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Let them have it.
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Leave it on the beach, where any one
can take it!"
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By now Ivan is out in the highways going,
"Spalding man!
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You don't know when to be a man yet man,
until you get out in a big waves man!"
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And I thought, "I'm going to be a man
today if it kills me!"
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And I'm starting out a little further and
a little further,
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and I'm seeing hallucinations of gray
sharks all around me.
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And every time I think of a shark biting
me, I feel all the anxiety come together
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in my stomach and come out the top of
my head in a gray, gray arrow
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that lands on my money!
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And every time I think about being
bitten by a shark I think of my money
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being stolen, and suddenly I have no fear!
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And I'm getting further and further out
in that ocean.
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And further and further out until I'm
further out in in that ocean than I've
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ever been in any ocean in my life.
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I am beyond Ivan, even!
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(deep inhale) I can tell I'm further out
because of the view of the shore.
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I've never had a view like that before.
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And suddenly there is no fear because
there is no body to bite.
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There are no more outlines, there is no
mean, there's this great body temperature
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Indian ocean, this great warm Indian ocean.
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With this smiling bobbling, pumpkin head
perceiver on top.
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And up the ocean goes and up the
perceiver goes.
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And down the ocean goes and down the
perceiver goes.
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And wall of water comes up the perceiver
and the perceiver looks both ways.
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It could be in the middle of the Indian
ocean, no land in site.
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And warm water goes down and lifts the
perceiver and the perceiver looks down
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a great bank of water.
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Far below, John Swane and Judy Arthur.
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Body surfing like a Hawaiin travel poster.
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And warm water lifts the perceiver and
suddenly a human voice wakes it and
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brings it back in time.
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It's Ivan calling "Spalding, man!
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Come back, come back!
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I haven't tested those waters yet!"
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And boom!
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(yelling)
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And back in time, back in fear, and I!
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I'm swimming into Ivan, water pouring
through my nose,
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saying it was fantastic, Ivan I mean it
was a perfect moment.
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It was fantastic!
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And he says "Spalding I have to go out
and test those waters."
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Now he swims out to where I was, and he
comes back with water pouring through
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his nose going "Spalding, Spalding
(coughing) I almost drowned man!"
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"I came this close to drowning, now I know
the experience of drowning, man!"
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And I thought, "Oh, shit."
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"Now I'm going to have to go out and
almost drown."
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I'll be damned if I get caught in this
male competitive trap.
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I know what Ivan's idea of a perfect
moment is.
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It's death.
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(swish of waves residing)
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So having had my perfect moment,
I swam in-
