How do you approach a Singh? Kaurs United Camp - Q&A #9

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Here's a bit of a double-edged question,
I am not sure which way it flows.

How do we go up to a Gur Sikh Singh?

Who we feel could be a great help
on our path towards our GURU.

I am not sure if this question is

How do you approach this guy for marriage
or just to ask him for some advice?

So, I will try to answer both.

I don't want another person to feel
like they have to stand up right now.

Let's say someone's going to help you
because you got a sawal jawab right?

In a public area, go and approach them.

In a Gurudwara or somewhere,
where everybody can see you

and there's no worries there.

Just go up to them and bula Fateh
and say "I had a question for you."

Just be straight don't feel
sharminda or ashamed.

I've had people approach me here and
say "Can I speak to you for 2 minutes?"

I said "Sure." I tend to do it out there so
people know I'm talking to that person.

That person obviously asks me
a question, so no one can say.

If you feel awkward, like just a
single girl going up to a single guy.

If he's single as well and people might
ask questions, go with a friend of yours.

Tell your friend, if you can trust someone
then go as two people and go and ask.

May be that will stop any fingers
being pointed at you, right.

Otherwise, nowadays we have
WhatsApp and all that kind of stuff.

You can text them or Facebook
them, that is right as well.

But make sure if you're only asking for
advice and the guy happens to be single

make sure you draw that distinction so,
that guy doesn't get the wrong signal.

You don't want to confuse the issue.

Especially, if you are asking
for advice from somebody.

This is for most Pracharaks
who have this problem.

I am lucky that I started Prachar
when I was already married.

But there is this thing that women
think that he's in Chardi Kala

So he could be a good match
and so you need to make a line.

Are you going to ask for an
advice or a marriage proposal?

Make sure you have that
thing clear in your head.

When it's for a Rishta, then definitely
try and use somebody in between.

If you go and ask on your
own if that guy is single ?

That guy will be embarrassed
of being put on the spot.

In Punjabi environment we always
give someone a way out.

You give them a way out so that
they don't get embarrassed.

If you go to them directly
then they could be fussy.

They could either say yes or no, which
can be embarrassing on both sides.

They might say the wrong
thing just to keep you away.

Therefore use a Vichola (intermediary)

to find out if that person is free.

But then don't be sitting your late 20's
and you haven't ever decided

to make an approach on some
body you do like, who is also single.

Have a bit of courage, these things
are important. It's part of life.

we don't need to be so koi about this

that we're sitting there on you know and

everybody seems to be getting married if

your family is not into siki if you

can't find someone to do

bolin so but you don't want to you don't

want to let leave it too late right it's

not good to just leave it leave it leave

it and you think wait for your parents

to do something if they're delay they

can't be bothered get a friend or

someone to make the approach for you

then

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