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How do you approach a Singh? Kaurs United Camp - Q&A #9

  • 0:10 - 0:14
    Here's bit of a double-edged question,
    I am not sure which way it flows.
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    How do we go up to a Gur Sikh Singh?
  • 0:16 - 0:20
    Who we feel could be a great help
    on our path towards our GURU.
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    I am not sure if this question is :
  • 0:22 - 0:26
    How do you approach this guy for marriage
    or just to ask him for some advice?
  • 0:27 - 0:31
    So, I will try to answer both.
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    I don't want another person to feel
    like they have to stand up right now.
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    Let's say, someone's going to help you
    because you got a sawal jawab, right?
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    Then in a public area,
    go and approach them.
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    In a Gurudwara or somewhere,
    where everybody can see you
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    and there's no worries there.
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    Just go up to them and bula Fateh
    and say "I had a question for you."
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    Just be straight, don't feel
    sharminda or ashamed.
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    I've had people approach me here and
    say "Can I speak to you for 2 minutes?"
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    I said "Sure."
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    I tend to do it out there, so people
    know I'm talking to that person.
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    That person obviously asks me
    a question, so no one can say.
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    If you feel awkward, like just a
    single girl going up to a single guy.
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    If he's single as well and people might
    ask questions, go with a friend of yours.
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    Tell your friend, if you can trust someone
    then go as two people and go and ask.
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    May be that will stop any fingers
    being pointed at you, right?
  • 1:28 - 1:32
    Otherwise, nowadays we have
    WhatsApp and all that kind of stuff.
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    You can text them or Facebook
    them, that is right as well.
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    But make sure if you're only asking for
    advice and the guy happens to be single,
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    make sure you draw that distinction so
    that guy doesn't get the wrong signal.
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    You don't want to confuse the issue.
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    Especially, if you are asking
    for advice from somebody.
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    This is for most Pracharaks
    who have this problem.
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    I am lucky that I started Prachar
    when I was already married.
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    But there is this thing that women
    think that he's in Chardi Kala,
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    So he could be a good match
    and so you need to make a line.
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    Are you going to ask for an
    advice or a marriage proposal?
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    Make sure you have that
    thing clear in your head.
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    When it's for a Rishta, then definitely
    try and use somebody in between.
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    If you go and ask on your
    own if that guy is single ?
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    That guy will be embarrassed
    of being put on the spot.
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    In Punjabi environment we always
    give someone a way out.
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    You give them a way out so that
    they don't get embarrassed.
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    If you go to them directly
    then they could be fussy.
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    They could either say yes or no,
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    and that can be embarrasing
    on both sides.
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    They might say the wrong
    thing just to keep you away.
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    Therefore use a Vichola (intermediary)
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    to find out if that person is free.
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    But then don't be sitting in your late
    20's and you haven't ever decided
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    to make an approach on some
    body you do like, who is also single.
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    Have a bit of courage,
    these things are important.
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    Marriage is also important,
    It's part of life.
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    We don't need to be
    so quay about this.
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    Just sitting there and everybody
    seems to be getting married.
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    If your family is not into Sikhi and
    if you can't find someone Vichola
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    But you don't want to
    leave it too late, right?
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    It's not good to just to leave
    it, leave it and leave it.
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    And you think, you wait for your
    parents to do something.
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    If they delay and they can't
    be bothered, then get a friend
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    or someone to make the approach for you.
Title:
How do you approach a Singh? Kaurs United Camp - Q&A #9
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
03:30

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