BBQ, smoking grilling 101pro tips

Hey Boy! I was gonna do a... let's just go over some BBQ rules. Rather than make a real rant outta this.

Number one. Never boil any meat that you're gonna barbeque or grill or smoke.

It's the biggest no-no in the world.

You wouldn't boil bacon, would you? Before you cook it?

You wouldn't boil steak or hamburger in water before you grill them, would you?

Oh hell no you wouldn't. If you do you non-union.

A cooking forms proper etiquette would be:

never use the "o" word or "oven" in the same sentence as smoking foods.

The oven is primarily used for cookies, brownies, cakes, baking bread, stuff like that.

Another thing while we're on the subject of ovens.

A broiler and a oven is about the same thing as a gas grill.

And a gas grill, it's not like flame-broiled. Flames don't usually touch the meat because they got vaporizer bars in the way

and heat diffusers and stuff that keep flare-ups from happening. It's the same thing as broiling in your oven.

It really don't add no flavor unless you got some way to add real smoke to it.

And don't use no hickory smoke - liquid smoke. That's another big no-no. Never ever.

Man, don't even buy that garbage. I don't even know what they sell that for.

Another big no-no is never use match light, instant light, or charcoal lighter fluid. Or any of that kind of crap.

What charcoal lighter fluids are for is for starting a pile of leaves on fire, or burning trash out in your yard or something.

You don't use that. You don't want them fumes in your food. Why don't you just start it with kerosene or diesel fuel?

Mmm, boy I bet that'd be good on a burger, huh hon? Yeah, get a little of that flavor in there.

On the starter fluid deal, the way you light your charcoal, is you get a chimney. Like this.

You put some newspaper inside it first, put your charcoals on top, light your newspaper on fire,

set it down on some concrete or something non-flammable, boy, and your coals gonna get ready.

If you got a gas grill, you can actually set this right on top of the burner, take all the fuses and vaporizer crap out the way,

set this sucker down on the burner. And that'll light the shit outta it real fast.

Also, when you using remote thermometers like this one, I got two probes on this one.

I got one in the brisket, and one in the butt. The brisket don't have no bone in it, so to speak,

but the main thing is you don't want it in a big fat pocket. Fat's gonna give you a incorrect reading - a false reading.

Another thing is, in like the pork butt, it's got a bone in it. You don't want it close to the bone, you don't want it in the fat in that either.

You want it in the good meat part to get a accurate reading on the meat's doneness or wellness temperature

another thing, see this thermometer? This is bogus bullshit.

This reading, the temperature up here at the top of this dome, not at the grate levels.

You see down there boy? The grate levels are here and here.

It's reading temperature up here and it's false. It's wrong! Fail! You don't do that!

I got another little hole here, where I can stick a thermometer in there and get a in-between these two grate level temperature.

That's what you actually wanna shoot for, when you trying to hold temperature in a smoker.

It's your grate level temperature. Not the dome temperature. That could be off 25-50 degrees or more.

It depends on the outdoor temperature. [Dog barking]

Shut up dog!

Uh, other variables, wind, crap like that.

So a brief summary. No lighter fluid. No match light charcoal.

Don't cook stuff in the oven and call it barbeque.

Don't use liquid smoke.

And watch the placement of your meat thermometers. Your probes.

And have plenty of beer around when you barbeque too. Another big plus.

[bells ringing] Ring the bell. Ring the bell. Ooh-ooh-ooh.

Basically, boooy, basically you want to put a nice dry rub on your meat

Unless it's a steak. You might be a purist like me and only want salt and paper.

Same way on my burgers. It's the way I like them.

I don't like putting, mixing all kind of crapola all inside it. I graduated from that school.

I'm beyond that now. I used to mix garlic powder and onion powder

And all kind of crapola in there. Not for me no more.

Never mash down on a burger or a steak while you grilling it. You squeezing all the juice out.

With burgers and steaks, let them rest before you eat em.

Never sauce your meat until like the last 30 seconds... uh 30 minutes

20 to 30 minutes of smoking. If you put your sauce on at first,

it's gonna, the sugar in it's gonna caramelize and burn, so will the tomato.

I use dry mustard to make that stuff stick,

and it don't really change the flavor of the meat at all. You'd never know it was there.

I did a A-B comparison: wit-witout.

And you get more rub to stick on the outside with that mustard than just having a wet piece of meat.

So now, you oughtta know how to do it. Try to cook smoked foods to about like,

smoked stuff like butt and brisket you want about 195 to 200 internal.

You pull it, foil it, let it rest, and when it's cool enough to handle you can start pulling your pork .

Are you paying attention or did your battery go dead?

One more thing I almost forgot.

Don't keep putting wood til you hit to where it's smoking like a choo-choo train.

You don't want that. Too much smoke can make your meat have a bitter flavor.

And never use green wood. Green wood, number one it don't want to burn - wet wood.

It's gotta be aged for about a year before you can use it.

Uh really dried out well. So it burns good, and and and don't impede...

uh ... don't lend a bitter flavor to your meat.

That's why you want to use a good seasoned dry wood.

Theoretically, meat only absorbs smoke flavor into itself to make a smoke ring

until the meat's at 140. 140 degrees external temperature.

After that, the smoke ring don't penetrate any more.

So the colder your meat is when you put it on the grill,

in other words don't leave it sit out on the countertop, put it on cold right out the icebox.

Dust it with your dry seasoning, chunk it on the grill cold. Don't let it sit on the countertop.

You'll have a pretty smoke ring on it.

Trust me boy. I've been doing this for a loooong time.

That smoker behind me is a 1976 model. And I've been smoking on it a loooong damn time.

Here's another thing you can do with your gas grill.

You can use it to clean the grates from your charcoal grill.

Fire that sucker up as high as it'll go, throw them grates in there, and it'll clean 'em.

All you got to do is wire-brush em down and get the ash off 'em after about 30 minutes.

How you like them tips from J.B.?

One more tip. Don't be opening your smoker to peek inside of it.

Every time you do you lose heat, you lose smoke, and you add about 30 minutes to your cooking time.

Use a remote or external thermometer like what you see me doing over there.

Where you can monitor it externally. Without peeking.

No peeky-seeky boy.