When Europe Divided Africa...

Gentlemen of Europe, our empires are in jeopardy.

Revolution stirs at home.

We can ill afford a conflict with each other

on the continent of Africa.

Mmm yes

Yes yes

Well, what we've decided here at this conference

is to split it amongst us.

So I bagsie that one.

No, you cannot just "bagsie"

No you cannot 'bagsie'

I want that part

I want a colony or I'm going home.

I want everything that my body is covering here.

Gentlemen, keep quiet.

I have organized this conference here in Berlin

and invited the people who know Africa the best.

The Europeans?

No

Gentlemen

What is he doing here?

The expert

on Africa.

Why are you inviting Africa? I don't see the connection.

I'm only here for comedic purposes.

I wasn't invited to the real thing.

Haha

of course not.

Well sir

let's hear your much needed guidance.

Africa has over 3,000 tribes.

You need to be very careful when drawing the borders.

We're only here for 3 days

and that all sounds like it'll probably take

ages.

This is a very delicate matter.

Here's right

For this difficult and nuanced decision

we must employ a strong ruler,

a measured ruler

a ruler that can be relied upon.

Yes, exactly.

What about this?

Yeah, I think this is good. Yeah.

This is bigger, so we probably get it done in half the time.

I've brought my tiny ruler along too.

I mean, it's small, but it's shatter-proof.

You may literally draw a straight line border

through a map with a pencil and ruler.

And that is it?

You call that a country?

That's the ticket.

Of course

So, he gets it.

But it could cut through the middle of towns

mountains, rivers,

tribes.

Exactly. Yes. This is what we're going for.

So, you're just going to carve out a whole continent

in a few hours?

But hopefully not that long.

1 hour

max.

You can't do this.

But we're giving them the gift of civilization.

Yes and all we ask in return

is a tiny little bit of the pilligy willigey

You know, it sounds kind of cute when you say it like that.

What about the people?

Well they'll get the finest railway?

Would they be allowed to use it?

No. No. No.

And the criminal justice system?

Good.

The full force of it

And they'll get some much needed medicines.

Would they?

Oh, yes.

Really?

But only after we've tested them.

That's good.

On them.

African people would like to rule themselves.

And they will

in a few hundred years after we've made

a complete dog's arse of the place.

We'll finally grant them their independence

and pick their rulers for them sometimes

of course, and routinely criticize how they run the place.

Great job. Well done.

Okay. Well, everyone back to mine now for coffee and cake.

I wasn't invited to that either.

Doomdah

Hello, we're Foil Arms and Hog

And Emman

And I'm in the go compare ad

Doomdah