Margaret Cho - Assassin Part 2/8

it's just like this whole weird focus on religion

it's just making me crazy, like

all that shit about fucking Terri Schavo

like everytime I see Terri Schavo on television I would be upset

because I would think this is a private family matter and I have no right to intrude on this

you know, this is none of my business, and...

all I can say is: if that was me, oh you better kill me

or I will find a way to kill you

I will stare at you with my one good eye

until you kill yourself

and it was making me so sick

all this right to life folks going on and on about this entity of life

when they could give a shit about the fact that there have been soldiers in Iraq for 2 years without exit strategy

but I suppose all of these news

this information is all there do distract us from the fact the George Bush is actually president

I was watching the election on television and it was great to see states go either red or blue

I thought, well that's convenient

now we have a colour-coded map to where all the stupid people are

and I think a lot of people wanted to be depressed that George Bush won

but we don't know what kind of president John Karry would've been

we don't know if it would've been good, we have no idea

but we know that George Bush is gonna fuck it up

he's totally prepared

I met John Karry at the beginning of his campaign

and talking to him is like talking to an ant

you know, the tree people from Lord of the Rings

I believe

Americans

should have affordable health care

there are so many people who really hate George Bush, I just think he's just really fucked

he's so fucked

I want to send him poppers and crystal

he is by far the most embarrassing president in history

never fails to embarrass

like after the Tsunami, he didn't really help the victims out very much

because, well, why should he? they don't have oil

all they have is boutique

and he don't look cute in a suran

so he put together the tsunami task relief force, heade by Jeb Bush

which is like sending Dannii Minogue

that's his thing, he picks bad people, he points bad people

like he's fucking supreme court judges, he wants to appoint

they make like Clarence Thomas look like Angela Davis

like the fucking new guy, the whole John Baldwin thing, the John Baldwin for the ambassador for the UN

worst guy he could nominate for that job

everybody fucking hates him

it's like sending Eminem to Grand Marshal of Gay Pride Parade

picks bad people, like Condolezza Rice

who I saw speaking at a military base

and she was wearing this shiny, shiny black leather boots and the dominatrix outfit

and it was so dirty

oh George, you've been a very bad president

it's so non-consensual for me to see that

not sex, none of the new administration are not sexy people

not even Laura Bush

I think Laura Bush is pretty, but you know her pussy tastes like Lyesol

do you see why I was dis-invited to the Democratic National Convention?

because I'm dangerous

I speak the truth

I know there are a lot of mens in here who have no idea what pussy tastes like

uuuuh, I'm glad I never had none

girl, never had, never will, ok?

but I'm allergic

if I even have a little ittie bittie tiny innie bittie piece of pussy

my throat will swell up

oh God, I can die

see, I got my bracelet

I don't wanna give the impression that pussy has a fine after-taste

but it's better than Barbara Bush, that's a straight-up mock balls

that's a mouth full of band-aid, that's what that is

my whole face is numb

I'm probably gonna get shot

so enjoy it while you can

I'm just so angry and frustrated at americans

because so many people turned up to vote for George Bush

just so that they could be sure gay people would not get married

that they hated the idea of gay marriage so much

they would rather have Bush president than anything else

I mean, it's just insane to me

it's the Christian groups

it's this Christian Family Groups who are out of control

they are really, these Christian groups lost their minds

even Satanas was saying "wow, you guys are being really mean"