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Why Relationships? Sadhguru

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    Sadhguru: When you are unable to hear what somebody else is saying,
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    your relationships will go bad. (Laughs)
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    In many ways,
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    the fundamentals of your relationship is,
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    you are willing to listen to the other person, isnt it?
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    Hum?
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    If you want to say everything,
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    there will be no relationship.
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    Relationships,
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    for most of you
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    the way you are right now,
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    the quality of your relationship
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    largely decides the quality of your life.
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    Is that so?
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    Hum?
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    The quality of relationships that you hold in your life
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    largely decides the very quality of life that you live.
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    So, when it is playing such an important role in your life,
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    I think it needs to be looked at.
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    So what is the basis of a relationship?
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    Why do human beings need a relationship first of all?
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    Relationships are formed on different levels,
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    various types of relationships,
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    to fulfill different types of needs.
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    The needs may be
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    physical, psychological, emotional, social,
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    financial, political, it could be any kind.
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    But to fulfill various needs within a human being,
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    relationships are established on different levels.
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    Whatever the nature of the relationship,
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    whatever the type of relationship,
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    still the fundamental aspect is you have a need to fulfill.
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    No I have nothing to get, I want to give.
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    Giving is also as much a need as receiving, isnt it?
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    Yes?
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    I have to give something to somebody
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    this is also as much a need as I have to receive something.
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    So there is a need, whatever kind of need.
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    Needs may be diverse,
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    accordingly relationships could be diverse.
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    Now, the moment we form a relationship
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    wanting to fulfill a certain need
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    and if that need is not fulfilled
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    then relationships will go bad.
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    For whatever purpose for which we have formed a relationship,
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    if those needs
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    and those expectations are not fulfilled,
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    relationships will go bad.
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    We may claim many things,
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    but when your expectations are not fulfilled
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    it does go bad, isnt it?
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    So instead of doing too much wishy-washy about it,
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    its best to look at it straight
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    and see what is it and how we need to handle it?
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    The needs within a human being have risen
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    because of a certain sense of incompleteness.
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    People are forming relationships
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    to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves.
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    When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you,
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    you feel complete.
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    When you dont have that you feel incomplete.
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    Why is this so?
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    Because this life,
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    this piece of life is a complete entity by itself.
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    Why is it feeling incomplete?
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    And, why is it trying to fulfill itself
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    by making a partnership with another piece of life?
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    Fundamental reason is
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    that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension.
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    Though that is the basis,
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    there is a complex process of relationships as such.
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    There are expectations,
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    and
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    expectations and expectations and expectations. (Laughs)
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    The expectations that most people are creating are such
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    that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfill those expectations.
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    If you
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    especially this man-woman relationship,
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    the expectations are so much that
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    even if you marry a god or a goddess, they will fail you. (Laughs)
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    Because the expectations are so unrealistic
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    that nobody, no human being can ever fulfill that.
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    And unable to understand the expectations
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    or the source of expectations,
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    nobody can fulfill the expectations.
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    But if you understand
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    what is the source of this expectation,
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    you could form a very beautiful partnership.
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    Are you ok for,
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    you are getting very serious with relationships
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    On a certain day
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    Jack and Jill
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    now let me use,
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    I am trying to just culturally change the joke. (Laughs)
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    Jack and Jill were going up the hill,
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    and
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    Jack had a bucket in his hand,
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    a chicken under his arm, and a pitch fork
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    and a rope at the end of which there was a goat.
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    And Jill said, I am feeling very nervous.
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    Jack said, Why?
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    I am afraid you may have your way with me.
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    I am alone with you.
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    He said, What do you mean?
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    I didnt do anything and my hands are full?
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    So she said,
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    You may put the pitch fork down, plant it in the earth,
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    tie the goat to it, put the chicken down and put the bucket over it,
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    couldnt you? (Laughter)
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    And in the process of holding a relationship,
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    the first moment of meeting the expectations may be common.
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    But as every step that we take in life,
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    the expectations may become different.
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    Because these expectations keep changing in people,
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    they are not consistent and they cannot be.
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    One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life;
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    another persons expectations may be changing
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    because his perception and experience of life is changing.
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    Now relationships become great conflict.
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Title:
Why Relationships? Sadhguru
Video Language:
English
Duration:
08:25

English subtitles

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