New Girl | Jess Is Furious About Schmidt and Cece Hooking Up

Are you ready to run?

I have my playlist all ready.

Actually, it's Diane Keaton's autobiography

and she just filmed First Wives Club,

and it's getting me pumped.

I totally forgot we were gonna run today.

I emailed you, like, three times.

Maybe you typed "gmoil" again.

No more excuses. We have to train.

We signed up for this charity run, and now we

have to do it.

Why can't we just donate the money?

Why do we have to run the six miles first?

That's a good point. But no,

you're getting dressed.

No, Jessica, I can't go.

I'm super hungover right now.

Plus, Masha had a bit of a crisis.

She accidentally ate a cookie.

What? Because she fell o n it.

I am devastated, she's devastated.

Well, why don't you come running with us?

No.

She can run off that cookie.

You know what? We will do it tomorrow.

I promise it'll be so fun.

I mean, that was a close one.

Good thing I'm a quiet breather.

I learned that as a kid playing "Who passed

out?" with my mom. My mom always won.

Jew in the couch.

Jew in the couch.

Nadia.

American manners.

I sorry. Jew-Jew person in couch.

She's not wrong.

I saw something a few days ago.

Now I've been sworn to secrecy, but it is

just too big.

I know where you're going. You know I can't

keep a secret, I can't lie,

Winston. You saw me with that girl.

Don't leave me like this.

Even thinking about keeping a secret turns my

back into a slip n slide.

Just leave me alone. Come on man, you gotta

help me out, okay? I'm dying. I'm dying. Hey,

hey, hey. Come on, come on,

come on, come on, come on. I'm dying, I'm

dying, man. Hey!

I don't want to know.

Cece and Schmidt are sleeping together.

Ew. Oh.

It's happening under our roof.

No.

No. Yes!

This makes me hate things.

I know, man, it's like up is down,

but up is the new down,

man.

Now my back is sweating.

All right, who knows?

Everybody but Jess.

Hey.

Hey, Jess. I'm just hanging out in the

hallway. What's going on? Nothing's going on.

Yeah, actually, I'm really annoyed. Cece

bailed on me again. We were supposed to train

for that race this week.

That is so Cece.

I know, I mean, and the weird thing is that

she said she was hungover,

but last night, she said she didn't want to

go out.

Maybe she had a guy over.

Not like that. I didn't say anything.

If you think about what I said, I didn't say

anything.

You have a secret. You have a secret.

Turn around.

You turn around.

Let me see your back.

Just be cool about this. Ew!

Gross! J'accuse!

Miller! J'accuse!

You fold like a lawn chair.

Fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold.

Winston, told me Cece and Schmidt are

sleeping together.

Come on, man.

What?

Oh, my God.

They know Schmidt. Sweat back?

You told sweat back?

Come on, Winston.

Jess. God, I am so sorry that you had to hear

about this like this.

But, I mean, can we just take a moment to

celebrate me? Schmidty really did it this

time. I mean, I'm having Indian every night.

No. Whoa, whoa.

Jess, I'm really sorry you found out this

way. Okay? But trust me,

it wasn't some big conspiracy.

It was just something that happened, and then

it got out of control. Sort of like poison

oak. And I just couldn't stop scratching it.

Cece started it. That's.

I did, I started it.

Why Cece? A re you trying to get back at your

parents?

When did it start?

Jess, I want to emphasize that we are not

dating. I can't stress that enough.

This is just sex.

When did it start?

1:03 a.m., February 15th.

Right on schedule.

It's two months ago.

Two months. Two moons have passed since you

started doing it.

Why do you start talking like a Native

American when you get angry?

Two moons have passed.

Just a quick sidebar.

All right. We've done it in every room of the

apartment.

Ugh, even my room?

Just the one time.

Oh, God. How long have you known?

A few days.

You didn't tell me either?

Jess, just as a reminder, I told you seconds

after I found out.

Because you're weak, Nick.

Weak.

I agree, just chill and stop yelling.

Jess, I want to tell you everything.

What do you want to know?

I don't know, Cece.

How would I know if you're telling the truth?

Come on. Jess. Are you seriously mad?

No. No. I'm not.

I'm really glad you two are having fun.

How cool is that?

For what it's worth, I think what I did was

really brave.