I need to leave

(sighs out loud) Oh God

Hello lovelies

Umm you know the drill.

I'm sitting here, looking a bit scraggly

with no makeup on, it's probably because

something isn't going super good. Also,

before I get into it, there is like stuff

I always mention at the end of the video

that like by that point everyone is

kinda tuned out anyways so really quickly

I'm gonna mention that only my patreon

which is excellent for supporting this

channel and is extra needed right now

I've also started selling stuff on Vinted,

I've tried to become a de-cluttering queen

And again it's started to become even more

important than it was just because I was

doing it because I felt like it so the

links to those are down below. I've got a

bunch of stuff up there. I'll talk more

about them at the end but, just, yeah most

people, like, tune out before I get a

chance to mention that, so...

You don't even know

So, basically, I am losing this house

(laughs) I am going to have to leave and

pretty soon, not as soon as my landlord

is trying to get me to leave because they

sure do love doing that. But yeah it is,

at this point maybe only like a week or

something until the end of this tenancy

agreement and because I haven't heard from

my landlord aA, in the amount of time it

would be, like, courteous and B, in the

amount of time it would be legal,

I figured that there would be no changes,

we're all good, we're, yeah,

I would sign on for another year and that

would be that because if anything were to

change there's a certain amount of time in

which you are meant to inform people of
that.

And it hadn't happened so I was like,

amazing I've got another year in this

house and then I can decide what I want to

do after that because I had been thinking

about some things, which I will get into
later.

But as it turns out, no.

(laughs)

I got an email informing me that the rent

is going up, in the landlord's own words,

a significant amount. And this is

having already gone up last year when I

re-signed on for my tenancy, which just

just really quickly, because I have been

getting like a lot of people confused

about what's going on, trying to offer

advice and stuff, which I really
appreciate

but like maybe not fully understanding

like how things work like where

I am in contracts and stuff. I have

already spoken to the housing

rights people, I've gotten all of the

information that is relevant to like my

situation and exactly where I am so I am

good on that front so thank you all for

your help and just for the people who were

confused, it's because my tenancy is like

about to reach its end so I'm not in the

middle of a contract, I've just reached

the end of one. Um, but I've already found

out all the legal stuff from, like,
the official people so

I'm already on top of that she had said

that she was raising the rent a pretty

significant amount its already gone up so

now I'm like its far more that what I

agreed to pay when I moved in here and

I've been afraid of this happening like I

said because of the time that have passed

I figured wasn't happening this year and I

was like fucking amazing love that but I

was wrong so yea I was given the

ultimatum of pay the increase rent which

is quite frankly I can't really afford you

know as a single woman living alone

also this house is really expensive to

like just live in like it must've not been

energy efficient or something because like

it does not hold heat well its really hard

to warm this place up so I go through

obscene amounts of money trying to keep

this place warm also like the electric

seems to go out faster than anywhere I

have ever lived and that's concerning it's

just me here instead of like two people

like it used to be which seems nuts so its

just like expensive house to live in

I'm also living out in Bangerter which

when I first moved here I thought would

be a great idea. Turns out no one can be

bothered going out to Bangerter, so

if I want to see any of my friends or

anything I have to drive to Belfast so

it's also costing a lot in petrol

So for a lot of reasons, realistically

I don't think I could afford to be paying

the higher rent and also, at this point,

out of principle, I just don't want to,

because some people live in places where

their rent goes up every single year, as

it turns out. That has not been my

experience. I've been renting for 12 years

and before I moved into this house,

my rent had gone up one time

by a reasonable amount in that whole time.

Sorry there's like IKEA bags everywhere,

and Sebastian's making a mess because

of all the clutter.

Rent did go up one time that time

so for it to be raised like a good chunk

every single year, is not normal to me.

Like, I can't live somewhere that's going

to do this to me every single year,
like you can't keep bumping rent up by big

like you can't keep bumping rent up by big

chunks when wages aren't like changing.
And it's very frustrating, because like

the first time the rent was up, they gave
the reason they gave was like

"Oh I'm sure you'll understand, cost of
living crisis and all"

And I'm like, mhm. Like me, single woman
living alone, probably understands cost

of living crisis more than you, owns
multiple properties, from what I've been

told. Feel like we're in different
positions. As for this time around,

emotional support bunny, whenever
I got the email being like,

hey pay or get out essentially.
It wasn't put quite that bluntly, but that

was the gist of it. I sent an email,
trying to reason with and I was like,

"hey, is there anyway, you know, just for
the next year, we could put off raising

the rent? And I get a lot of good reasons
as to why, and like I've been a good

tenant. I'm just here by myself, I'm
quiet, I don't throw parties. I don't

any large pets, I don't have a lot of, you
know, children. I'm a very unobtrusive as

person so I was like, maybe, out of
kindness, they'll put of raising the rent.

But no, they came back, and like
one of the things I'd said was that the

amount of time they want me out of the
house, literarily not possible. There is

a housing crisis. It is so hard to find
anywhere because, every house you apply

for, you'll have about 20 people also
applying for it. So landlords are

absolutely, spoilt for choice, and being
like self employed and alone, makes it

very difficult because like if it's me
versus, ya know like a married couple

both in like normal, stable jobs, I'm not
going to get picked.

So, and I have a cat as well. Everywhere
is really anal about pets, it's incredibly

hard to find a place that will allow you
to have pets. I get people trying to tell

me they don't like to say you can't have
pets, but the thing is, they will ask, and

I can't like about that, in case I get
caught out. And ya know, whether or not

they're allowed to ban pets. When they
see me who has a pet, and someone else who

does not, they can just choose the person
who does not. They don't have to give a

reason. I'm sorry I'm rambling so much,
it's just my head has bee fried the past

few days from this. But, basically
incredibly hard to find a place.

Like looking for this place, you guys
might remember, it took months.

I was going to so many viewings
every single week. Putting loads of

applications in. And it was months before
I got this place. And she, was expecting

me to be out of here, in less than a month
And I'm like, that's not possible.

So like, one of the things I said, in my
email trying to reason, I was like ya know

the housing crisis, is pretty,
I said things probably more formally than

I'm going to put in this video, because I
try to be like, ya know, not professional

but whatever. Basically, the gist of it
was, the housing crisis is fucking mental

right now. There are too many people and
not enough houses. There's no possible way

on this Earth, that I can be in another
place within a month. And she came back,

and said, "nope, we're still raising the
rent, and we've been told that if we

relisted it, we could get almost a
thousand pounds a month"

And I'm like Oh wow! So happy for you!
That you could get so much money.

However, this is my home we're talking
about. And one of the things she

legitimately said, after saying that to
me, was parroting back what I just said

and she said that the demand for housing
is unprecedented right now it would seem.

And I'm like, YES, that what I just said!
That's why I can't get out of here in the

amount of time you're trying to give me!
So, it's things like that are incredibly

frustrating. And it's really hard not to
get frustrated and irritated when like

dealing with these matters. But like, you
can't, because you're talking to someone

who controls whether or not you have a
home. And like whenever they just don't

care about that, it's really really hard
to remain pleasant but you have to.

So yea, I'm being put in a position where
I, my only option realistically,

and I have considered all the possible
ways to do things, my only option is to

leave. And I've had my big cry about that.
I'm hoping I'm not going to cry in this

video, cause the last thing the internet
needs is another video of me crying.

But I think I've gotten a lot of it out.
And like, might actually come around to

the whole thing, like quite quickly I had
a big old cry for a couple of days

and now I'm like, right. Just need to deal
with it. But I am just a crier, like that

bit in Friends where Rachel's talking to
her boss and she's like, "to warn you I

may cry, they're not tears of anger or
sadness, but just of me having this

discussion with you." That is so me.
I really struggle to talk about serious

things without crying. It's really
annoying. But I feel ok right now.

But I am really sad, like I am genuinely
sad to be leaving this house, especially

under like such short notice because,
you know, a lot of you who've been around

for the past few years, will like remember
how big of a deal it was getting this

place. And like, the sense of relief, of
like finally finding somewhere because,

ya know I had like a really horrible
situation where I was literally chucked

out of my home in the middle of the night
without a penny to my name and nowhere to

go but a cold, barely office space. It was
essentially like an old torrid linen mill.

It was like in winter, it was freezing,
I didn't have a shower, I didn't have

laundry facilities, I didn't have ki-I
was turned out into the void with nothing.

And it was absolutely awful, and I lived
that way, for God, it must've been close

to 6 months, it was like from October,
end of October til the end of April.

I was living that way, and it was awful,
and a lot of you guys followed along

with that struggle, and like saw me crying
and saw like, how terrible it was.

And then, you were with me when I got this
place, and I was like so happy, and so

relieved. I was like, oh my god I can go
to the kitchen and make some toast.

Oh my god, I can just go have a shower
when I want, I can wash my clothes

whenever I want. That was like all
ugh, it was such a big thing! And this was

the place, see this is where I'll start
getting emotional, but I won't, I'm not

gonna cry. It was this place where I got
to do that. And I put like, effort into

making it nice. Which, sidenote, I thought
uploaded a video of like, me doing this

room, and it turns out I hadn't. I think
sometimes because I spend so long

recording certain videos and stuff, I'll
like organize the footage into a folder,

in my head it was done, and thinking I'd
uploaded, and I haven't, and that happens

quite a lot. So, I probably will still
upload that video. It's a little fucking

redundant now, because I'm leaving, but
I will see exactly what footage I have for

that put together. And I also found I have
another video I thought I did but

apparently didn't. Um, me opening, like
housing stuff, people sent me for this.

So I need to sit down at some point and
actually go through all my folders and

figure out what videos I haven't done,
that I thought I did, and just get them

up, cause even if it's late, like whatever
But yea. So yea, getting I mean this is

the first place I've lived, me just alone
completely. No parents, no partner, and

that was like a really really big deal for
me. I'd set down roots, and I'd made my

little spaces and like, ugh. Whenever I
signed onto this place, I didn't foresee

this whole sort of situation coming and
now that it has, like it's just really

disheartening. Like I thought this was
somewhere that I was gonna like, settle

like, able to settle into for a good few
years. And, you know, that first year past

and they upped the rent and I was like,
"oh no is this gonna be a thing?" and yea

it is. So, now I am left with several
dilemmas, even just little stupid things

that are really the least of my worries,
have me like, like I was like, the

morning after, like finding all this out,
and like realizing that I needed to get

the fuck out of here, I was like, lying
in bed, looking at my bed and I'm like

"I don't know how to take this apart."
I know I've put this thing together, don't

know how to do it the other way around. Do
not know how to take this thing apart, to

get it out of this house. And you know,
even just the fact that I'm gonna have to

pack up the whole house and try to like,
do all that, alone. My friends have said

they'll try to help, which I appreciate
and it's very sweet of them. But ya know,

people have jobs, and people are busy, and
it's not anyone's responsibility but mine.

So if people do manage to help, that'll
be lovely and sweet of them. But ya know,

in general, dealing with all of this is
like, entirely on me. And I'm like,

"oh no!" But yea so, I need to, god,
very quickly. Start trying to pack up

everything I own. And that's the thing as
well, like giving like short notice, for

like a big move, sucks extra. Like it's
one thing if you're someone who's like

renting out a room in a place that's
furnished. Like, moving on short notice

still sucks ass, but there's a big
difference between that and like

renting an unfurnished house which means
you have had to buy all of your furniture

and you own everything in the house,
like even the dryer and everything. Trying

to move, on short notice with so much
stuff, is also eck. Yea, so that's one

thing. And then, it's the case of I have
a decision to make because before all this

happened, like in the past sort of like
few weeks, I had made a different decision

which has kind of been thrown into the
air by this but, I had decided that I want

to spend the next year, really trying to
buckle down, start getting more videos out

cause like, I had just been struggling to
stay on top of that shit. I think one of

the problems is with everything in my life
I'm very all or nothing so like, it's

either I'm popping out multiple videos a
week or I just don't do anything for weeks

and I want to at least get onto middle
ground with just like, ok 1 video a week.

One. One video a week. Just try to do that
which I am on schedule for, so I put out a

video last week, I already have this weeks
video edited, although actually saying

that, this video is probably now this
weeks video. Then I have another one

edited after this, and another one
filmed that still needs edited after that.

So I am ahead of schedule and I was like,
great, that's step on. Step two is uh try

to get my uh Patreon up. I'm also trying
to downsize, a bit because I have too much

crap. I have been hoarding stuff for like
15 years at this point. And it's

ridiculous it is too much. I am like
overwhelmed with the amount of crap I have

So, I finally got on to like the whole
Vinted thing, and I'm slowly starting to

shift things. Like, it's going well, but
still barely made a dent so I need to like

continue with that. So yea, I've been like
I wanna get on top of videos, want to try

to up my Patreon, and want to start
selling off a bunch of stuff. Partly to

get rid of as much crap as possible, and
also partly to try and save some money

because by this time next year what I
wanted, was to hopefully be in a possition

where I could start considering, moving
to London. Whether or not, I'm gonna

achieve that, who knows. I could've, or I
could've ended up somehow worse off than

right now. It's hard to say, but that was
kind of the decision I'd come to. I was

like right, time to buckle down this year
and try, because everyone keeps saying

like why don't you move to London? Why
don't you move to London? And it's

getting to the part where it's like, yea
why don't I? So that was something I was

starting to consider. But obviously, this
has kind of changed that plan. So now, I

have to leave this place. That is a fact.
That is what's happening. I'm not gonna

pay like this massive rent increase, and
like constantly be stressed about my

landlord. So I need to leave here. So
it's the case of, do I try to find another

house, like similar to this one and, you
know, have everything set up again and

like live the way I want to be living, or
do I pack up everything except for like

the essentials, stick everything I own
into a storage unit, and get somewhere

cheap as fuck. Even if it's a bit
miserable. And then spend the next year

saving all the money I would've been
spending here, so that I can be in a

better position next year to potentially
move. And on one hand, like I don't want

to give up, like, all my creature comforts
like, ya know, I have enjoyed living in

this space. And, having this much room to
myself. Having everything set up the way

I like it, like that's been really nice
and I don't want to give that up. And

especially after, like being in a really
crap living situation for like 6 months

before this, and obviously it wouldn't be
the same thing. I'm gonna be somewhere

that has, like, a shower and a kitchen
and ya know, the basic necessities. But it

wouldn't have like, this kind of situation
So that's... I don't know when that

stopped recording. My card filled up, and
I couldn't, figure out why it filled up.

And I remembered, I had started filming a
like big decluttering video! So there's

like a lot of just like long stretches
of me doing stuff in here, and like

listing stuff on Vinted and just moving
stuff around, and whatever um. Don't know

if I've still got it. I guess if I do
continue that video it's gonna be going

in a different direction. I don't really,
know, it was gonna be like a, "declutter

with me!" and now it's a whole
separate thing. Anyway, I don't know when

that stopped, but my point was, do I move
into another place, similar to this, with

plenty of space, that's going to be more
expensive? Or do I just shove everything

in storage for a year, live somewhere
kinda shit, but save a lot of money, and

then try to go off and live in London.
Because I'm just, I'm sick of missing

things. Like, the amount of times a friend
from London will message me and be like,

"hey are you in London this week? You
wanna go to this event?" I'm like whimper

"I'm in Belfast!" I'm just tired of that,
and like, there's just a lot more for me

there right now. Other than like,
moving away from my mom and moving away

from my friends, will be, difficult. But
if I do move than I plan on coming back