Louis C K - Fun with a girl

I don't know how I ever got laid.

Really, because I was awful at it.

I still am, I never understood.

Like there are guys that just have

confidence and they can like go out with a girl

and know when to lean in and
kiss her and shit.

I just, I couldn't I would just go,

"CAN I FUCK YOU?"

Like I'd just blurt it out.

I remember one night, I was with a girl.

I was like 20 years old,

And I did a show in Washington, D.C.

I was already doing stand up.

And after the show one of the waitresses

came back to my hotel she was really cute.

And we're making out, in my hotel.

And uh, she's into it, she's like humping me.

So I start putting my hand up her shirt,

and she stops me.

And I'm like hmmm ok.

So we're making out more,

and I start putting my hand on her ass,

And she stops me.

So after a while, she went home

nothing happened.

And then the next night, I saw her at the club,

and she goes, "Hey, what happened last night?"

I was like "What?"

And she goes,"How come we didn't have sex?"

And I was like,"Because you didn't want to."

She's like,"Yes I did I was really into it."

I was like,"So why did you keep stopping me?"

and she goes,"Because I wanted you

to just go for it." And I was like,

"Well what does that mean?"

She says,"I'm kinda weird i got turned on

a guy gets frustrated and just holds me down

and fucks me, like that's a big turn on for me."

I was like,"Well you should of told me

I would have happily done that for you."

And she says,"No, It has to feel real,

and dangerous."

And I'm like,"WHAT ARE YOU OUT

OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?"

"You think I'm just gonna rape you on the

off chance that hopefully your into that shit."

Captioned by Danyoul