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welcome to the scene
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thank you
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I wanted to find a name for Cho that was the most volatile, provocative, incendial name
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like what would make, you know, me just gonna go crazy
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oh, she talks about everything
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she's real. she puts it out there and she tells it as it is
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but people are really frustrated politically, people are really angry about what's going on
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if people don't wanna hear us, don't listen, because she's so damn funny
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people feel powerless, and usually that's when somebody wants to hire an assassin
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she's such an assassin. I'll kill you Margaret
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hi Margaret, thank you so much for having your show on my 21 birthday
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i'm so excited to be here
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we're 2 white little straight girl, and she's incredible
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I don't acknowledge the difference between us
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Maragaret, I love you so much. You're so gay
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this is mommy. are you gay? if you don't pick up the phone, that means you're gay
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the hesitation, and this wierd sensitivity people have towards culture
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and they don't wanna say anything, they don't wanna offend people
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but because I am the member of so many different minorities
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it's what gives me carte blanche
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she speaks her mind, and she stands up for all the little people and... I don't know, she's great
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she's so pretty, I love her
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because, you know, woman, because, you know, asian-american, I'm like...
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you know, so intranged in gay cilture in so many different ways
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she's funny and inspitarional at the same time
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which is hard to put in one person
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that sorta gives me a lot of freedom to move about
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there's nothing she won't say
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exactly. she will say anything and doesn't care about who likes it and who doesn't
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and it's just awesome to know somebody like that
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to comment on things and not worry so much about any kind of repercussions
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like oh, you're not supposed to say that because you're not one of us
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but i am, you know, because I'm always gonne be one of us we're always gonna be one of us
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I just have like that kind of membership in every club
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and now, the one, the only Margaret Cho
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ruth daniels, everybody
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thank you
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come on
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thank you
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thank you, it's so fantastic to be here
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and we've been travelling everywhere which has been all over the world
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and England is fucking boring!
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it's where white people begin the whitening process
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it's amazing how dull it is
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I was listening to the news, and I couldn't believe it
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Londoners on the isle of Louis will be forced to sell the property against their will
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it's not like american news
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american news is like...
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SISTAAAAH
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someone is having a flying lesson, aaaah
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somebody has a fucking flying lesson, everything shuts down
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everyone has to be evacuated, SISTAAAAH
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it's like, we're at this level of hysteria were it's always fucking freaking wows about something
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you know it's the news who does it
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you can't even watch the news because there's always the scroll happening underneath the news also
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it's just keeping you in this fucking level of panic
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oh, I gotta go outside and turn off the gas
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you like, uhhh
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it's shit, like you don't need to know, like there's a finger on somebody's chilli
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and the scroll is like: "have you ever found a finger in your chilli?"
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go on, see you on dot com!
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always fucking something
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like the runaway bride!
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bitch, don't get married
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just say, I don't
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you don't have to, like, pretend you got kidnapped
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you don't have to cut off your hair
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throw your sweats all over the place
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get on a bus to Albuquerque for no reason
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tell everybody you got abducted by a hispanic man
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see, this is why they need to outlaw straight people getting married
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it's just, like crazy
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at least I got some reprise from the fucking pope
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look, I had enough from the pope
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the pope... the pope who really held on
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he really held on
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he wouldn't... he wasn't going anyway, he was just hanging on
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and the press could not wait for him to die
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they were just like waiting for him to die, that whole saturday
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but he wouldn't die all day
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they were fucking waiting like... he's not dead yet!
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but he might be when we come back from this comercial
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but the pope who was so sick he couldn't even come to the window
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he was so sick that all he could do was manage a blaaaargh
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but even that blargh was anti-gay
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you know, like
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the pope talks so much shit
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the pope was castigating the media for making gays look normal
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yeah, you are real good judge
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a nooormal
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with your gold dress
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and your matching gold hats
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living up in the Vatican with 500 mens
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surrounded by the finest antiques in the world
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queen, please
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you live like Versace did
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and now they have... they found a new pope
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I don't know how they do that, they put all the cardinals together
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and they play... Vatican Idol
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they look arround to see who has the most liver spots
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oh, that guy
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and that guy goes on and puts on a dress to judge people
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being pope is a lot like being a drag queen