Does Jungto Society Offer Programs for Children?

<Does Jungto Society
Offer Programs for Children?>

(Questioner) Hello,
It's nice to see you in person

and not on the weekly class videos.

I'm sorry,
I'm supposed to stand up.

I have a question.
I have a 9 years old son.

He is a real good kid
but I did notice that

he took after me
and he has my temper

and will blow up
and then has a very hard time

to control himself and it's getting worse
as he's getting older.

And I was wondering if there are any
Buddhism courses for children in Korea

If Jungto Society works with children
or has a family program

in which it deals with children.
And if we can talk about it

it would be great,
Thank you

(Sunim) I actually a subject matter
of children expert

who is dealing with young people.

As I got older, my focus shifted to
deal with college students.

I got even older.
I dealt with young people.

I'm much older.
So I deal with middle aged people.

If I get a little bit older,
I'll be dealing with retirees.

In the beginning,
When I started this path,

I actually dealt a lot with
middle school age kids.

That's how it is but my question to you
is that you're living fine right now, right?

(Questioner) Though, I started
my Buddhism course last year.

I'm in Buddhism too now.

I did ask my son recently
how he found me to be

and he did say that I am calmer.

I'm hoping to introduce him to do
more of the Buddhism practices.

But when I ask him to do
meditation with me,

he gets very angry because he says
breathing makes him angry.

(Sunim) In a ways, But you're still fine
overall right your life.

(Questioner) I'm very much in peace.

(Sunim) Does your son take after you?

(Questioner) Yes,
he has my temper.

(Sunim) Therefore, your son
will live as well as you will.

If you had a lot of challenges.
you had to deal with as a result of

your temper to get to where you are today.
your son will walk the same path.

If you got better and
had more peace of mind,

because you encounter Buddhist teaching,
your son will do the same

but about 40 or 50 years from now.
So, no worries there.

Just because you like
somebody right now,

you can't demand that
or impose that on your kid.

Right now, you appreciate
these teachings

because you have went through
a lot of experiences.

Your son has not gone through
this journey, yet.

There's no way for him to think
to judge that this is good.

In fact,
if you're imposing on it,

then it's going to kind of
have a counter effect.

In other ways,
if you impose it too much insist on it,

it becomes more of a source
of trauma for him,

then you actually shut that door for him.

But if your practice
gets better, deeper

and you improve as a person,
then your son's going to watch it

and experience it and see that.
So, later on,

when he faces
his own difficulties,

he might recall that
this worked for you

and he might try it.

Don't ask your son to meditate
or get into Buddhist teaching.

The most effective way is for you
to actually engage more deeply

in your own practice.

But at the same time,
you might want to seek

or at least get a professional opinion
for your son.

And if the professional medicine,
you know, doctor says,

you know, there's some issues there,
then you can get it treated

because early discovery of any symptoms
is always easier to deal with.

if the doctor says, he falls within
the normal range,

although, he might be
a little temperamental,

then he'll be fine.

I mean, he'll have to deal with
certain things but he'll be fine.

That situation.

You becoming calmer is
a great example for your son

because as a kid,
he's very influenced by his circumstances.

She's tonger than that

whether that's good or bad.

There is an old saying in Korea
that you've got to be careful

how you drink water in front of kids
because kids always teach you.

So if you improve more
and you develop more of a peace of mind,

you know that you're greatly
influencing yourself.

So those of you here with young kids,
below teenagers,

if you instead of demanding
your kids do something,

self transformation is the biggest instruction
or lesson learned for your kids

because kids, they tend to imitate

and of course,
they always rebel against any criticism

that you lay on them.
For example, say, come back early,

they'll always ask how come
mom, dad always comes in late

if you tell them dinner at 6,
for example,

they'll thinking, how come
you didn't eat at 6 last night.

This is how kids act.

You have to do things
together with your kids.

So if they do something wrong,
don't scold them.

you just don't do it for them.

If you scold them,
you create this injury within.

But if you do
whatever they want you to do,

then he doesn't develop that discipline.

You need a wisdom,
a balance in which you don't scold them.

And if you have to repeat
yourself 10 times

that you still don't understand,
repeat yourself 11th times.

But we often think
our kids are little adults.

I told you I'm not going to tell you again
I told you twice already

that kid is no longer a kid.

If he acts that way
then he should be an adult.

at the same time,
you don't do everything they ask of you.

Kids do not learn
just because you say something once.

So if you bring that perspective
then you should not have any problems.

Thank you for advocating for
mental health as well.