The WTF Blanket (Snuggie Parody)

Tired of using regular blankets like this asshole?

Do they somehow destroy your heating bills?

Do you struggle when trying to figure out how to put them on?

Are mundane tasks like answering the phone now impossibly difficult?

Well, morons now there are hopes with the new "What The Fuck" blanket.

The blanket that will ruin your sex life.

Now you can answer the phone with confidence. Awesome.

Help grandpa enjoy the o'reilly factor.

Spoiler alert. Snape kills Dumbledore.

You dad will blog about how comfortable he is.

I can't believe a black man's a president.

The WTF blanket is made of the exact same materials regular blankets are,

but looks twice as retarded.

Basically it's a robe that you wear backwards.

The WTF blanket would turn you into a complete shut-in that never leaves the house.

So color a book,

drink some tea

and hold a baby.

You know, things you can't do in a regular blanket.

And don't worry. One size fits all.

So creepy dad can lie in a seductive pose.

With the WTF blanket,

you can take your dog and roast him on an open fire.

Ruin your child self esteem and wear it in public.

Sarah's not getting a date to the porn.

Look at her!

So whether you are reading the obituaries,

or viewing a scrambled porn

or clogging your arteries,

or telling a racist joke.

You will look like a tool!

Believe it or not.

Some dumbasses have paid as much as 60 bucks for the WTF blanket,

which kinda makes me wanna scream.

Available in blueberry, mint and blood flavours.

Call now and receive a free....

Flashlight?

Why would you need a flashlight with your blanket?

And she doesn't even need it. Look, you can see the text from here.

She is reading it in broad daylight.

What the..... Damnit!

Side effects of the WTF blanket include but are not limited to:

Heart failure, herpe, social awkwardness,never getting laid,

looking like a dick, super herpes.

The WTF blanket.

Just....give up