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Even if you don't understand,
you can still support and uplift us.
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Our identity, it continues
to be legitimate and it exists.
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I'm Cami,
I'm 22 years old, I'm non-binary,
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and I'm here to talk
about non-binary identities.
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Non-binary is an umbrella term
that includes all gender identities
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includes all gender identities
that are not exclusively masculine or
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exclusively feminine.
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So, it represents both agender,
"a" meaning subtraction,
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without gender, which is neutral and
also all the fluid gender identities
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like if we imagine gender as a spectrum
with two sides, masculine and feminine,
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and a cursor that moves.
So, all the people who are
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genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc.
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I never really identified with femininity.
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When I was 18, I had already
started to ask myself questions
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about my gender identity and
I had met a trans man who I
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was with for some time and we were
able to put my identity into words
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which were non-binary.
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I think it's because he had
way more info than me,
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that he knew how to help find
the words for my identity.
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Gender identity is what we are.
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It's the gender we feel, live,
and experiment with
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and gender expression
is what we show others.
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It's how we express that identity.
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So, you could have,
for example, a gender identity
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that is masculine: so a man,
and you could have
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a gender expression that is feminine
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with a lot of markers
deemed to be feminine in society.
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Like Bilal Bassani,
who is a man with a feminine
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gender expression.
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I told my parents
I was non-binary and that
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I also wanted to change my name.
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I was 20, so that was 2 years ago
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and my mom took the news very well.
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She was already up-to-date
with gender issues.
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She had already deconstructed
those concepts and was very safe.
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I felt secure.
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With my dad,
it was a little more delicate.
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I took a little more time
to talk to him and
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I didn't do it in person.
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I sent him a message because, in fact,
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it was easier for me to handle
and he reacted pretty well.
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He said he didn't understand everything
but in any case
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he would be there to support me
and that it changed nothing for him,
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that he loved me the same.
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With my grandma,
it was a little tricky because
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it's something that's
very unfamiliar for her.
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She grew up in the countryside.
Then, she moved to Paris.
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She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.
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lived in contexts that were so
cis and heteronormative,
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she never really asked herself questions
about her identity or others'.
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So, when I talked about it with her,
she was shocked,
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but she's always looked out
and wanted the best for me.
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She's making a lot of effort,
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she rarely makes
any mistakes with my name now.
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I made a request to
change my name in 2019.
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I submitted the request
to the city I was living in.
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I obtained a form that
I filled with evidence
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from my friends that proved they use
the name Cami when referring to me.
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I asked my school to write
a letter of support.
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Then, I submitted my form.
I waited a couple of months.
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The time varies from city to city.
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And I got my name change accepted.
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The act of misgendering someone,
is to address that person
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by using the wrong pronouns for them.
