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Even if you don't understand, you can
always support us and be with us.
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Our identity is real and it exists.
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My name is Camille, I'm 22 years old.
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I'm non-binary and I'm here to talk to
you about nonbinarity.
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Nonbinarity is an umbrella term that
includes all the gender identities
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that are neither completely masculine
nor completely feminine.
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So that can be "ungendered" or without
gender which is neutral,
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or it can be all the gender fluid
identities, including those
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who are gender fluid, demigendered,
pangendered , etcetera.
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If you imagine gender as a spectrum
with two poles - masculine and feminine -
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and a cursor that could be anywhere
between them, it would include everyone
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who is gender fluid, demigender,
pangender and so on.
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I never really identified with femininity
and when I was 18,
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I'd aleady started to ask myself
questions about my gender identity.
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I met a trans man I was with for awhile
and together, we found the words
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for my identity, which was non-binary. And
because he knew more about it than I did,
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he could help me find the words for
my gender identity.
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Gender identity, it's who you are, the
gender that you feel, that you try out.
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And gender expression is what you
show to others.
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It's the way you explain your identity.
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So you can have a gender identity, for
example masculine, so you're a man.
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But your gender identity could be feminine
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with lots of markers that our society
considers to be feminine.
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For example Bilal Hissani, who is a man
with female gender expression.
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I told my parents I was non-binary and at
the same time,
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that I wanted to change my first name.
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I was 20 years old so it was 2 years
ago and my my mom took it very well.
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She was already totally up to speed
about questions of gender.
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She was sufficiently deconstructed and
I felt very safe, very secure with her.
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My dad, that was a little more delicate.
I took more time to talk to him about it.
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And in fact I didn't really do that -
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I sent him a message because it was easier
for me to handle. And he reacted well.
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He said he didn't understand everything
but he'd always be there to support me,
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and it that it didn't change anything for
him, that he loved me just as much.
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For my grandmother, it was loss obvious
because it was a foreign concept for her.
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She grew up in the country,
then went toParis.
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She was with my grandfather for 50 years
and was very much cis-heteronormative,
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where she neve questioned her
identity or that of others.
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So when I talked to her about it,
she was a bit surprised,
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but she always tried to behave in the
best way she could with me.
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She tried really hard. She almost never
made mistakes in my first name.
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I'd made a request to change my fist name
in 2019, through my town's city hall.
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I got an application form that I filled
with testimonies from my family and
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friends to say that they used the first
name Cami to talk to me.
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I asked my school to write a letter
of support, and so on.
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Next, I submitted the application.
I waited a few months.
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In fact, that varies from city to city,
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but my request to change my name
was accepted.
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To misgender someone is to speak to them
using the wrong pronouns,
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which thus genders a non-binary person
who would have explicitly said
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to use neutral pronouns like iel.
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And instead people use pronouns that
identify them as feminine or masculine.
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Personally, I use feminine pronouns in
speaking and neutral pronouns to writing.
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It's true that in general I tend to
say up front that I prefer people to use
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feminine pronouns when they speak to me.
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A