Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami

Even if you don't understand

You can always support and care for others

Our identity is legitimate and it exists

Testimonies: Non-binary Identity

My name is Cami, I'm 22 and I'm non-binary

I'm here to talk about
non-binary identity

Non-binary is an umbrella term,

Which encompasses all gender identities

That aren't exclusively masculine

Nor exclusively feminine.

This can mean someone's agender

'a' meaning without gender,

which is neutral

Or it can encapsulate all fluid identities.

If we imagined gender like a spectrum
with two ends

signifying the masculine and feminine

With a slider that can
move along the spectrum

representing all gender-fluid people

And those who are
demi-gender, pan-gender, etc.

I've never identified with femininity

At 18 years old, I was already

asking myself questions about
my gender identity

and then I met a trans man

that I was dating for a bit

and we were able to come up with
words to describe my identity

which is non-binary

and I believe its because of him

having so much more knowledge
than me

That he was able to help me
find words

to describe my identity.

Gender identity is who we are,

gender identity is what we feel,

how we live, how we experiment,

and gender expression
is how we display ourselves to others,

the way in which
we express our identity.

We can have a gender identity

for example, masculine

so, a man

with a gender expression

that is feminine
with many gender markers

considered to be feminine
by general society

Like, for example, Bilal Hassani,
who is a man

with a feminine gender expression.

I told my parents that
I'm non-binary

and that I wanted to change
my name at the same time

It happened 2 years ago
when I was 20.

My mom took it well,

she was already familiar
with gender concepts

she had already deconstructed
a bit and was a safe person

I felt really secure

The conversation with my dad
was a bit more delicate though

I spent a bit more time
talking to him about it

And I didn't do it

in person

I sent him a message,

because it felt easier
for me to handle

and he reacted pretty well

he said he didn't understand everything

but that he was always there
to support me,

that nothing changed for him,

and that he loved me the same.

For my grandma,
things were trickier

Because this is a distant concept
for her

She grew up on the countryside.
Then she moved to Paris.

She lived there with my grandpa
for 50 years

She had many cis-heteronormative
ways of thinking

like she never questioned
her identity

or the identity of others.

So when I spoke to her about it,
she was quite dumbfounded

but she always on the lookout

for how to best act towards me

She has put in a lot of effort

and she barely makes mistakes anymore
when using my chosen name

I petitioned to change
my first name

In 2019

I submitted an application

To the city council
of the town I was living in

I pulled together a folder

that was filled with testimonies
from those closest to me

stating that they used
my preferred name Cami

when addressing me.

I asked my school to make me
a letter of support, etc.

Then I dropped off the folder

and I waited several months

It actually varies
depending on the city council

and I finally received the acceptance
of my name change

Misgendering a person

means to address the person

while using the wrong pronouns,
so gendering the non-binary person

that explicitly stated

that they use gender neutral pronouns,
like 'they'

and then to gender them
with a feminine or masculine pronoun.

When being referred to,
I personally use

She/her or feminine pronouns orally,
and neutral ones in writing

But in general,

I usually say right away

How I prefer to be addressed

so with feminine pronouns orally.

If a person doesn't do that themselves

and you want to be sure
about how to gender them correctly

you can always ask them their pronouns

Or wait for them to gender themselves
in front of you

and then follow suit.

Under my past videos

There are many comments

that invalidate our identities

that reject our gender expressions
and identities

I barely read these comments

because I know they are
largely malicious or insensitive

and all they want to do
is hurt me.

I participated in an interview
which stated that

non-binary identity
is a trend

that this identity appeared recently

in the US, like 10 years ago

that it's like a fashion trend

like unisex fashion, etc.

Which is false.
I also think

that it's a really white
and Eurocentric point of view

because in many cultures

there are many different gender identities

that were completely erased

during colonization

Often. we hear that it's problematic

or dumb to keep reconstructing
categories to identify ourselves

or reidentify ourselves, etc.

But I think its very important

to firstly, be able to identify
with a label

or to disassociate with an identity

that was arbitrarily assigned to us.

I think it's also vital

to find ourselves a community

to create connections,
to know we aren't alone

that there is support

that there are other people
who are like us,

that understand us,
who will listen to us

If I had one final thing
to say

It'd be that even if
you don't understand

you can always support
and care for us

you can learn

and deconstruct your thought patterns,

even if you don't fully understand

the vastness of someone's gender identity.

Secondly, all non-binary people

have different ways of expressing
their identity

there are people who will

medically transition,
who will take hormones

those who will have operations,
while others won't

it's unimportant the manner
in which we transition

or don't transition,

socially, medically, etc.

Our identity, it's still legitimate
it still exists

and there are many of us.